anna070 Posted March 11, 2015 Share Posted March 11, 2015 I broke up with my ex just over a month ago. I still really care about him BUT he wasn't giving me his all so I had to end it. I kind of regret it now and should have stayed and gave it some more time. He did text me 10 days after our breakup on Valentines Day saying " Happy Valentines Day, I do think about you (kissy face)" I replied by saying I miss you and making plans with him. He agreed but the next day the day of our plans he cancelled because he was in a very bad mood. I think he has depression or something Bipolar (His mom suffers from that). I texted the next day to see how he was feeling and he did not reply! He texted me back almost 2 weeks later saying " Hope all is well, do miss you" This time I simply said I am doing well and how are things? miss you. HE DID NOT REPLY for almost 2 weeks now. I have stuff at his house that I need to pic up eventually. Expensive clothes, shoes etc. Maybe he is waiting for me to finally text him to come over? Well today is his Birthday and I wanted to text him this " Hi, Happy Birthday! Wishing you lots of success, happiness and love. Hope you enjoy your special day. Always in my heart" Is that too much to end it with Always in my heart? I know there is a NC rule BUT I broke up with him and he did reach out 2 times. I am just confused because once he reached out he doesn't reply. Link to comment
mhowe Posted March 11, 2015 Share Posted March 11, 2015 You broke up with him and he has shown little to no interest in you, so I think that "with love in my heart" is a bit much. Why don't you wait until after his bday and then call and arrange a time to get your stuff. Link to comment
happyfrank Posted March 11, 2015 Share Posted March 11, 2015 He is trying to move on and keeping communication with his ex doesn't help. You really hurt him. Don't communicate with him on his special day. Link to comment
anna070 Posted March 11, 2015 Author Share Posted March 11, 2015 So why ha she reached out to me 2 times already if he is trying to move on Link to comment
happyfrank Posted March 11, 2015 Share Posted March 11, 2015 So why ha she reached out to me 2 times already if he is trying to move on He misses you. Link to comment
DaisyHope Posted March 11, 2015 Share Posted March 11, 2015 My lord. You broke up with him so NO DO NOT CONTACT ON THEIR BIRTHDAY!! You lost that right, and plays with their feelings. Re collecting stuff, post it recorded to their address with a note saying you're really sorry for everything and hope this doesn't upset things further however you felt it best to return given the value and importance of some of the items. Then leave them WELL ALONE TO MOVE ON. Link to comment
mhowe Posted March 11, 2015 Share Posted March 11, 2015 Because Vday was only 10 days after the break up. Then 2 weeks later he basically just said "hi". When you dump someone because you feel like it and it takes them by surprise, their feeling don't just disappear overnight. He isn't knocking down your door or blowing up your phone or even answering you in a timely fashion. So ---- you dumped him and he is moving on. It would be grossly unfair for you send him a message with such mixed signals. Link to comment
happyfrank Posted March 11, 2015 Share Posted March 11, 2015 If you want him back Anna. Go surprise him today. Actions speak louder than words. You know where to find him... Link to comment
anna070 Posted March 11, 2015 Author Share Posted March 11, 2015 We have some history. He is 14 year solder than me and he broke up with me this past summer without explanation. When I tried contatcing him to get my stuff back all summer he would ignore me and when I did go to take it back we ended up making up and dating for another 7 months. He told me the reasonw hy he didnt reply is because he didnt want me to be gone! Now the reaosn why I broke up is not to play games. I put up with a lot of . I was making the effort in our relationship. I have told him few times that its time our relationship moves a little further and he wasnt sure why he is holding back. He has commitment issues and it wasnt fare for me to stay and wait for his decision on weather he loves me or not................. Link to comment
anna070 Posted March 11, 2015 Author Share Posted March 11, 2015 It is somehting I would do. I have always been the one giving giving and he has always held back. He broke up with me for no reason in the summer time. He is a very confused man. he suffers with a little bit of social awkwardness and "bipolar" I think liek his Mom. He never said I love you. I was always the one giving 100 and he holds back. Link to comment
anna070 Posted March 11, 2015 Author Share Posted March 11, 2015 I also did tell him after he texted me on vday that I missed him so much, invoted him for dinner and made plans for next day! HE CANCELLED. He is a wealthy, good looking man and used to girls chasing him around. This time around he nows what I need from him and its easy to fix. BUT he has shown no care Link to comment
happyfrank Posted March 11, 2015 Share Posted March 11, 2015 It is somehting I would do. I have always been the one giving giving and he has always held back. He broke up with me for no reason in the summer time. He is a very confused man. he suffers with a little bit of social awkwardness and "bipolar" I think liek his Mom. He never said I love you. I was always the one giving 100 and he holds back. Give it a try. Hopefully you both learned your lesson. Not to rush into breaking up if you still care about somebody. Link to comment
anna070 Posted March 11, 2015 Author Share Posted March 11, 2015 I was hoping by sending him at least a text I would "warm up" to him. I mean what if he is already seeing someone and I show up at his house and he will think I am crazy? I was hoping to give him time to also think if he really loves me and wnats to be with me and hopefully will miss me. Maybe my chance to see him is to pick up my stuff Link to comment
happyfrank Posted March 11, 2015 Share Posted March 11, 2015 I was hoping by sending him at least a text I would "warm up" to him. I mean what if he is already seeing someone and I show up at his house and he will think I am crazy? I was hoping to give him time to also think if he really loves me and wnats to be with me and hopefully will miss me. Maybe my chance to see him is to pick up my stuff He wouldn't think your crazy. It just means you wanted to see him for his birthday and wanted to surprise him. Link to comment
Clinton Posted March 11, 2015 Share Posted March 11, 2015 Has anything changed that leads you to believe the relationship will be successful this time? If not what is the point? You'll just end broken up again. Link to comment
JA0371 Posted March 11, 2015 Share Posted March 11, 2015 Anna.....you already broke up with him because he was being 'lukewarm' with you and not giving his all. He's basically proving why you left in the first place. Why are you shocked?? I would simply contact him to arrange for the rest of your things....even then I would have someone else pick them up for you. Link to comment
anna070 Posted March 11, 2015 Author Share Posted March 11, 2015 I guess you are right. I am defeating the purpose of this break up. I guess I was hoping he would miss me and I perhaps without me he would realize how he truly feels. If he truelly cares and wants me back and wants to come bac as a changed man, It wont make a difference what I text him............ Link to comment
DancingFool Posted March 11, 2015 Share Posted March 11, 2015 I don't understand why you suddenly want him back. Absolutely nothing has changed with him and all your problems will resurface in just a month or two, if not less, should you get back with him. Work on moving on and concentrate on why you dumped him. It was the right decision. As for your clothes and things, arrange a time to get them and yes, maybe ask a friend to pick them up or at least come with you as a buffer so you don't get sucked into the mess again. Time to close this chapter. There is better out there for you, but you can't find it if you are stuck on him. Link to comment
boltnrun Posted March 11, 2015 Share Posted March 11, 2015 So you broke up with him hoping it will help you keep him? Or hoping it would shake him up enough to realize he really loves you? You imagined a passionate reunion with him declaring his love and that he will never let you go again? I'm guessing it didn't work out the way you planned. So now, you've put yourself in the position of backpedaling and trying to "un-break up" with him, because you didn't really want to break up. He now has all the control and you're spinning your wheels trying to figure out a way out of the situation you created. You can either call him and tell him you made a mistake and you want to reconcile (realizing that nothing has changed and he will behave EXACTLY THE SAME toward you as he did before), or you can realize this relationship will not work and decide to move on with your life. And next time, don't use breaking up as a ploy. As you can see, it usually backfires. Link to comment
.jpg.1626fbc48c04fd9021fd315819807524.thumb.jpg.882936eb5901fa05cf31c75617acde2e.jpg)
Recommended Posts
Archived
This topic is now archived and is closed to further replies.