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Is it possible to get back together and stay back together ? UPDATE

Lolitaaa

By Lolitaaa
in Breaking Up Advice

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Lolitaaa Explorer

Lolitaaa

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Well, I think it has been a little over 6 months since I've been on here.

Like most heartbroken people I was looking for some support and advice and thought I could find it here.

 

Unfortunately a lot of the people on here, seems like they live to bring people down, and after 28 days of complet no contact on my side when I did decide to contact my ex back after his several attempts to get back in touch with me everyone told me what a fool I was.

 

When I got back in contact everyone here told me that it wouldn't last were we to get back together, and someone even wrote "You wait and come tell us how it is going to be in 6 months, you'll see it won't last"

 

That's what made me decide to come back on here and write this post:

 

It has been over 6 months, we needed to talk about our Relationship ALOT and changed our lifestyle, but I am glad to say we are happier then ever, things are going great, the bad elements are banned from our lives and not only that, he proposed and we are getting married soon.

To top it off: I am expecting a baby and this is a dream coming true.

 

I just felt I needed to come on this forum again for the ones that are lost and think their Relationship is doomed.

I don't know why so many people were negative whilst I was on here, but I didn't let it get to me and I am happier then ever now.

 

The break up was I can say now even a good thing, it brought us closer.

 

So to the heartbroken ones on here looking for some hope: THERE IS HOPE, DON'T LET ANYONE TELL YOU ALL IS LOST.

 

Take care !

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puggles Newbie

puggles

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Congratulations on the exciting upcoming events

 

I wasn't around when you first posted so don't know your story.

 

Speaking personally, my first post here was met with replies that I wasn't particularly hoping for, but, I was at a very fragile point and I think any sugar coated niceties would have just bolstered me to carry a torch. I would say the people on here are realistic, speaking from their own experiences.

 

We post on here looking for opinions and advice and have to expect we might not hear exactly what we want to.

 

I think the lesson here though is that only YOU really know what is right for your particular situation but other people can give an insight or perspective that opens up a whole new way of thinking. If anything the differing opinions here help you go into your own situation with your eyes wide open.

 

Reading other people's posts on here about their heart ache has helped me so much, I've been more of a lurker than a poster but I have gained inspiration and am growing stronger by the day.

 

I love to hear happy endings but am aware they're pretty rare...Good for you! Stay happy x

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Lolitaaa Explorer

Lolitaaa

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I always say there is a difference between realistic and plain mean I didn't have much luck, but thankfully there were some people kind enough I've met through here that have helped me. I just wanted to share my update since the meanies really hurt me back then, and all I tried was getting some answers.

 

Thank you X

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Lolitaaa Explorer

Lolitaaa

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Hey!!! Congratulations Lolitaaa!!

 

Do you have a story to post so everyone can hear?!

 

I don't know if it's easy to find my old posts back on here ... But anyways, the story actually is that after a lot of problems my boyfriend dumped me through a textmessage.

I was disgusted, so after that behaviour I deleted everything he could contact me on; FB, instagram, even changed my phonenumber.

I decided to start no contact, NOT to get him back, but to forget him and go on with my life !

After 2 weeks he put a letter in my mailbox reaching out which I ignored, after that he tried calling me on Skype and sending me messages since I forgot to block him on there, but didn't bother anymore after the break up. He contacted my mom to ask about me and so on ...

After 3 weeks he asked my mother if he could get my new phonenumber. I didn't want to give it to him at first, but after I said she could give it to him anyways, I honestly was curious if he was going to contact me and if he would what was it he was going to say after behaving like scum or the earth !!!

 

6 days after that he called me and he started crying saying how he wanted to see me one last time ... Well I went for it and now we are engaged and I am pregnant.

 

Just hoping my story can give the brokenhearted some inspiration, it helps reading positive stories every now and then

If they really love you eventually they will do anything for you X

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greta96 Community Regular

greta96

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Lol...each and every poster on this forum dedicates their time and effort and puts thought into everyone's situation, and writes their own personal opinion, which is highly influenced by their own experiences, and that of their friends, family and acquaintances. While none of us is clairvoyant and can see the future, I have found that most of the advice these ladies and gents offer is valid and meant to help, not to torture people or bring them down. So maybe you should show some respect for those who read your threads and tried to help you, instead of calling them meanies.

 

For some reason I can't see your past posts, those that describe your relationship with this guy, so I can't remember your exact situation. But I'm sure the guy sounded pretty bad, if you got that kind of replies. And considering that in less than 5 months, you 1.contacted him, 2.got back together with him, 3.changed your lifestyles (btw, lifestyles don't change in such short time, not for real anyway) and 4.got pregnant, I would think once again that you moved way too fast and that the rose colored glasses were on the whole time. But I won't elaborate any longer, because I know you'll call me a meanie lol.

 

All I will say is that I hope you're right, and that things will pan out the way you want them to. Good luck!

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Batya33 Grand Master

Batya33

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If my husband and I had gotten back together a month after we broke up the first time we definitely wouldn't be together now. We got back together almost 8 years later -when we'd matured, had other relationships, accomplished some career goals -and when I was finally the right person to meet the right person. I'm not a fan of quick reconciliations because typically nothing's changed other than it's exciting to be back together. Since you are expecting a child I hope it all works out for you but agree with Greta that you moved too fast especially with choosing to bring a baby into this newly reconciled relationship. I also wish you luck!

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Lolitaaa Explorer

Lolitaaa

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Anyways, I didn't come here to read negativity all over again, been there, done that, just wanted to share my story and I am done with this.

I am not going to check this topic any longer, but for those who wish to talk, you can always send me a private mail.

 

Bye bye !

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mhowe Proficient

mhowe

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Less than a year ago, your bf broke up with you 2 days after your miscarriage...called you names and brought up your past. After a month of NC...you get back together, discuss everything...get pregnant and now it is happily ever after?

 

I hope for your sake this works out.

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greta96 Community Regular

greta96

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What she doesn't realize is that she's been in this exact same position before (thinking she was happy with this guy and pregnant with his kid) and then we know what happened.

I feel bad for her, she's in such denial it's not even funny.

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SapphireNoir10 Community Regular

SapphireNoir10

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You broke up and got back together once before

 

I genuinley wish you every happiness and hope that the marriage works out and that you get the happy ending you want. However realistically 99% of people on here do NOT get back with their exes or if they do it is shortlived as the issued that ended it aren't resolved.

 

People on here are just trying to help people not to have false hope and get even more hurt. Of course there can be successful reconcilations, but most of the time people break up for a GOOD reason and it's best to go no contact and try and move on. If they come back and you still want them, great. If they don't then you have already started the process of healing.

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brigirl92 Explorer

brigirl92

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I understand what everyone is saying and I'm pretty neutral on this. My dad always said sometimes is not what you say, but how you say it. Someone can have the best intentions in the world, the best advice, but if they deliver it in a crass, rude manner, that advice is not going to be recieved well.

 

I know from experience on here when once I made a post about being okay with not doing NC with my ex. It was implied that I was making myself look pathetic, I was too naive, I was desperate for his attention, I was doing it hoping for reconciliation (a dumb assumption cause I didnt want him back lol), etc. Now I will say this, for the most part the advice on here is legit, but I do think since people are emotionally invested in their own experiences, they can come off as being crass cause they might think they now the outcome cause they lived it. They want sooo bad for you to joy make the mistake they might have made. (well small few, NOT MAJORITY, are rude and should work on their delivery cause that's the reason why I don't post as much on here and seek help by lurking other posts instead). when you are already emotional invested in your own experience, it just makes being what is being said that much worse.

 

I wasn't around when your post were made so I can only offer my objective opinions here, but I REALLY hope everything works out for you since you are bringing new life into this world.

 

Just keep in mind that most people on here do have good advice and maybe their delivery might be off putting. And to the ones who are truly rude/judgemental just take it with a grain of salt and keep scrolling ☺

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lolabelle Rookie

lolabelle

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Wow, i think some do seem quite bitter in their responses. The truth is sometimes breakups can be good for a relationship and we should all be happy if someone gets a chance. My own experience is similar, people generaly being a bit negetive and telling me how i feel and how wrong i am for feeling it. We are merely just people at the other side of a screen and have no way of knowing the reality of another persons situation or the personality and thoughts of a guy we dont know. Honestys great but negetivity doesnt help healing and an element of bitterness and quite possibly jelousy could play a part. Its good to hear advice from others as seeing so many different views can help you shape your own and see more clearly. Lets think positive!!!

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mhowe Proficient

mhowe

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No one claims you, or any poster, are wrong for feeling it. That doesn't mean that your actions should follow your feeling.

 

It isn't negativity ---- it is reality.

 

Why would anyone responding to a post be jealous? They aren't. They are giving an outsiders view of much too common erroneous thinking/action on the part of the poster thinking that they will miraculously turn a pigs ear into a silk purse.

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lolabelle Rookie

lolabelle

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Everyone is entitled to an opinion but sorry i think it is negetive, some.of the comments just seem bitter to me. And maybe its never happened for you, its never happened for me either, but that doesnt mean it cant work out for this girl. And people telling her she in denial..well...it is a bit mean yeah. Things do work out for some people no matter how hopeless their situations seemed. People change and grow up. Life is not black and white either, what applies in one situation wont apply to another

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