faraday Posted February 17, 2015 Share Posted February 17, 2015 She's likely doing it as a show for others (and you). It's hard, but I wouldn't take it as being authentic...she's playing a game. A very immature one. Don't check her stuff. Block her on everything that you can (make accounts specifically to block her)...and start doing things to take care of yourself. Hang out with friends. Go to the gym. Take up a new hobby. Become better. And one day...you'll realize you don't think about her every minute...and that empty feeling in your stomach has gone away. And one day...you'll find yourself singing to songs in the car again...and you'll find yourself smiling at women and not thinking about how they compare to your ex, but you'll be wondering what more there is to this woman in front of you. One day, you'll be okay again. When you're walking...or driving...or rock climbing...you look to where you want to go. You look ahead. Do that in your life. If you keep looking back, you'll crash or fall....you'll stop moving. Look where you want to go. Good luck Link to comment
Lucha Posted February 17, 2015 Share Posted February 17, 2015 This is quite like emotional automutilating behaviour, can't you see what you are doing to yourself? It is bad enough she has hurt you do you really need to hurt yourself? Verzonden vanaf mijn iPhone met Tapatalk Link to comment
neverknowwhy Posted February 17, 2015 Author Share Posted February 17, 2015 This is quite like emotional automutilating behaviour, can't you see what you are doing to yourself? It is bad enough she has hurt you do you really need to hurt yourself? Verzonden vanaf mijn iPhone met Tapatalk I know, I told myself I wouldn't look at it. But yesterday was just an awful day and I didn't think it could get any worse and I didn't sleep last night. Not sure why I checked today either. Now I know more about their relationship, who he is, etc. I'm going to stop. I don't know why I still have feelings for her, she's low quality and immature. But I still do. Link to comment
Lucha Posted February 17, 2015 Share Posted February 17, 2015 It's not a crime to not be over an ex shortly after you split. Hell it's not even a crime if you're not over her in two years. But the one thing you can do for yourself is stop the self-harm and take care of yourself. Verzonden vanaf mijn iPhone met Tapatalk Link to comment
neverknowwhy Posted February 17, 2015 Author Share Posted February 17, 2015 This is 100% textbook revenge-seeking behavior. Nobody in a healthy relationship does that. It's childish and pathetic. Social media creates such a Facade. I know your hurting man, and there's not much we can say to stop that, however she did you a favor. She's beyond immature. BTW: How old is she? Sounds like something a 16 year old would do ... She's 23. Hard to believe, right? I'm 22 and would never do anything like what she is. Link to comment
guynextdoor Posted February 17, 2015 Share Posted February 17, 2015 Dude she checked out before you guys broke up. Look man she loves the attention she is getting from this guy. To me she is doing this purposely to show other people that she moved on. She may be doing this knowing that you would find out. Be the better person, pull yourself together and not focus on her life but yours. GL. Link to comment
neverknowwhy Posted February 17, 2015 Author Share Posted February 17, 2015 Dude she checked out before you guys broke up. Look man she loves the attention she is getting from this guy. To me she is doing this purposely to show other people that she moved on. She may be doing this knowing that you would find out. Be the better person, pull yourself together and not focus on her life but yours. GL. She's attention-seeking, immature, and insecure. I don't know why she's living rent free in my mind. I'm better off without her but I still miss her. I'll work on it, thank you. Link to comment
TimeToLetHerGo Posted February 17, 2015 Share Posted February 17, 2015 I know is hard to not check on her on social media... I keep telling myself to move on but my heart still does not want t o let her go... I just checked her Facebook this morning and realized she posted alot stuffs about her new BF 3 days after she dumped me..."My boothang just got me my favorite drink "BF is leaving me for 3 weeks. Missing him already" . She also posted a lot of texts snaps between them and picture of the Christmas,birthday and valentine gifts. But what got me really sick are pictures of them acting like nothing happened and being happy with their life... It is really hard to see them moving so fast and feeling not remorse at all... But there is nothing we can do beside keeping NC and take this experience as a life lesson. Link to comment
neverknowwhy Posted February 17, 2015 Author Share Posted February 17, 2015 I know is hard to not check on her on social media... I keep telling myself to move on but my heart still does not want t o let her go... I just checked her Facebook this morning and realized she posted alot stuffs about her new BF 3 days after she dumped me..."My boothang just got me my favorite drink "BF is leaving me for 3 weeks. Missing him already" . She also posted a lot of texts snaps between them and picture of the Christmas,birthday and valentine gifts. But what got me really sick are pictures of them acting like nothing happened and being happy with their life... It is really hard to see them moving so fast and feeling not remorse at all... But there is nothing we can do beside keeping NC and take this experience as a life lesson. Hard to believe right? Good luck to you and your situation. At least we're not alone. Link to comment
kbbcoop77 Posted February 17, 2015 Share Posted February 17, 2015 Hard to believe right? Good luck to you and your situation. At least we're not alone. Dude you are not alone in this believe me! Most people who do the dumping have somebody else waiting in the wings. It's just the way it is as sucky as it is. They have already processed the breakup in their head and have moved on. Now you can wallow and mope and feel bad which is understandable for a while, but then u need to pick yourself up and realize you are responsible for your own happiness. Don't worry what she's up to. It does not matter. Link to comment
iamtheprize Posted February 17, 2015 Share Posted February 17, 2015 But how does she have no problem dating someone else a week after we end? How is that possible? I'm still not even close to over her and she just moves on like it's nothing. Literally all off her tweets are about this new guy or her old ex. None about me. Knowing this should only make things easier for you. People who move on that quickly are horribly insecure and not at all quality people. She is validated by male attention, and quite frankly, documenting her new romance on social media like that is just cheesy. She did you a favor. Seriously. Link to comment
neverknowwhy Posted February 17, 2015 Author Share Posted February 17, 2015 Knowing this should only make things easier for you. People who move on that quickly are horribly insecure and not at all quality people. She is validated by male attention, and quite frankly, documenting her new romance on social media like that is just cheesy. She did you a favor. Seriously. You're 100% right. She's gorgeous but terribly insecure. If I told you guys half the things about this girl that I ignored or let go, none of you would understand why I still care for this girl. She is not at all a quality person and doesn't deserve me. I'm sure she did do me a favor, I just haven't come remotely close to accepting that yet. Link to comment
TimeToLetHerGo Posted February 17, 2015 Share Posted February 17, 2015 We are in the same boat man... I never thought my ex would cheated on me and dumped for another guy...but it happened and i still love her... You will never know what it is going on their minds... When I first dated my ex she told me she hate cheaters and liars... She cried and made big fuss when I accepted a girl's friend (who I Did not have feeling for but who she did not like) request on Facebook...however she thinks it is fine being friend with guys she knows they have feeling for her....dam selfish right? Link to comment
neverknowwhy Posted February 17, 2015 Author Share Posted February 17, 2015 We are in the same boat man... I never thought my ex would cheated on me and dumped for another guy...but it happened and i still love her... You will never know what it is going on their minds... When I first dated my ex she told me she hate cheaters and liars... She cried and made big fuss when I accepted a girl's friend (who I Did not have feeling for but who she did not like) request on Facebook...however she thinks it is fine being friend with guys she knows they have feeling for her....dam selfish right? Same here, minus the facebook part. She told me that if I made an instagram and followed a girl other than her, she'd end it with me. The first week of our relationship, she asked me if I ever cheated and I said no. She said she hasn't either and that once a cheater always a cheater. Then I find out she's been messaging guys on tinder asking to hook up (we're long distance). We argue that day and she said that I'm not the type who would stay with her no matter what. I said she was right and that if she cheated, why would I stay? Her response? "Why wouldn't you?" What a joke. And I'm sad about this girl leaving me? **** Link to comment
TimeToLetHerGo Posted February 17, 2015 Share Posted February 17, 2015 I don't think i feel sad... I feel disappointment and betrayal, I feel like I was played ... I'm not sure it is weird or not but I have yet to drop a tear since she dumped me 2 months ago... But at the same I miss her and wanna see her... I guess I still in love with the person she was but not with the person she is now... Link to comment
Denguin Posted February 17, 2015 Share Posted February 17, 2015 Same here, minus the facebook part. She told me that if I made an instagram and followed a girl other than her, she'd end it with me. The first week of our relationship, she asked me if I ever cheated and I said no. She said she hasn't either and that once a cheater always a cheater. Then I find out she's been messaging guys on tinder asking to hook up (we're long distance). We argue that day and she said that I'm not the type who would stay with her no matter what. I said she was right and that if she cheated, why would I stay? Her response? "Why wouldn't you?" What a joke. And I'm sad about this girl leaving me? **** Dear lord. This is the biggest blessing in disguise you'll ever, ever get. She sounds so, so immature and like an attention seeking w**re. It's natural to miss someone, even if they were by no means the next coming of Jesus. She filled a void for you, regardless of how she acted during that time. In a few years you'll look back and be so glad you're no longer with her. Link to comment
neverknowwhy Posted February 17, 2015 Author Share Posted February 17, 2015 Dear lord. This is the biggest blessing in disguise you'll ever, ever get. She sounds so, so immature and like an attention seeking w**re. It's natural to miss someone, even if they were by no means the next coming of Jesus. She filled a void for you, regardless of how she acted during that time. In a few years you'll look back and be so glad you're no longer with her. I'm going to pm you later when I get home from the gym. I'm going to tell you everything that I left out and haven't already told you about her. And you're right, this is a blessing in disguise. I just haven't realized it yet and I still haven't accepted that it's over. Makes me want to throw up just thinking about the stuff I put up with and let go. I'm a fool. Link to comment
TimeToLetHerGo Posted February 17, 2015 Share Posted February 17, 2015 I'm going to pm you later when I get home from the gym. I'm going to tell you everything that I left out and haven't already told you about her. And you're right, this is a blessing in disguise. I just haven't realized it yet and I still haven't accepted that it's over. Makes me want to throw up just thinking about the stuff I put up with and let go. I'm a fool. Cheer up Man! If you feel like a fool that means that your feelings for her were honest. I heard from somewhere that girls that brag about her BF on social media are people that are not very secure about themselves and the relationship they are in. But It should not matter to us anymore, they are not longer our problems. Link to comment
neverknowwhy Posted February 17, 2015 Author Share Posted February 17, 2015 Cheer up Man! If you feel like a fool that means that your feelings for her were honest. I heard from somewhere that girls that brag about her BF on social media are people that are not very secure about themselves and the relationship they are in. But It should not matter to us anymore, they are not longer our problems. She used to brag about me, I thought it was sincere and her showing how much she liked me. Looking back now, it was just her showing me off to her followers for insecure and insincere reasons. Link to comment
DepthOfField Posted February 17, 2015 Share Posted February 17, 2015 OMFG Dude. I don't even think you need our advice on this. But here it goes: 1) Walk Away. 2) Walk Further. 3) Walk even Further. 4) Never look back. 5) Be thankful this broad did you a favor. Link to comment
neverknowwhy Posted February 18, 2015 Author Share Posted February 18, 2015 OMFG Dude. I don't even think you need our advice on this. But here it goes: 1) Walk Away. 2) Walk Further. 3) Walk even Further. 4) Never look back. 5) Be thankful this broad did you a favor. She did do me a favor, that's what everyone says. For some reason it's taking me a while to accept that though. She's a bottom of the barrel girl. Only one way up from here. Link to comment
DepthOfField Posted February 18, 2015 Share Posted February 18, 2015 For some reason it's taking me a while to accept that though. Yup. You are TOTALLY allowed to feel upset and whatever other emotions you are feeling. Cry. Laugh. Scream. You had feelings and cared about this girl. The circumstances that led to the breakup won't change how you feel. Don't fight anything. Just accept all your emotions, move on, focus on YOU, and don't do anything that will make yourself look/seem desperate and go no contact. Link to comment
neverknowwhy Posted February 18, 2015 Author Share Posted February 18, 2015 Yup. You are TOTALLY allowed to feel upset and whatever other emotions you are feeling. Cry. Laugh. Scream. You had feelings and cared about this girl. The circumstances that led to the breakup won't change how you feel. Don't fight anything. Just accept all your emotions, move on, focus on YOU, and don't do anything that will make yourself look/seem desperate and go no contact. Today was a mix of emotions. I was sad earlier, then angry with myself, now I'm sad again. I cried for the first time since we broke up. I can't do anything without being reminded of her. Listening to music, driving, going to the gym, etc. just brings back memories of her. I just want to move on but it's going to take time. Thank you for your words and advice. Means the world to me that all of you offer me help when I need it the most. Link to comment
Ms Darcy Posted February 18, 2015 Share Posted February 18, 2015 It's going to be a roller coaster for a while. The best thing you can do is just try to stay away from her social media. Hugs. Link to comment
neverknowwhy Posted February 18, 2015 Author Share Posted February 18, 2015 It's going to be a roller coaster for a while. The best thing you can do is just try to stay away from her social media. Hugs. Thank you for your words and advice. I just unfollowed her and deleted the twitter account I used. No turning back now. But before I did that, I looked one more time. Her last tweet, "Some guy from Delaware is going to drive up to hang out with me." ... Great. I'm going to do my best to avoid her instagram. There are pictures of me still on there, maybe she wants it that way. Doesn't matter anymore. Thank you, everyone. It means so much that you offer help. You're all great people and I hope that whatever brought you to this forum gets better. Link to comment
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