Snow93 Posted February 18, 2015 Share Posted February 18, 2015 Reading this topic made my blood boil. I hope things get better for you. Well done on unfollowing and deleting. It's a hard thing to do but it's so much healthier in the long run. My ex was like that too the last time we broke up. Posting pictures etc with some other guy less than a week after the breakup, feeling the need to show how "happy" she is. I learned my lesson the hard way just like you. Honestly, the fact she feels she need to do all that stuff just shows that she's not dealing with it properly and it's going to catch up on her. By then you'll be well on your way to healing. Just watch out for her trying to reach out for you if and when things go wrong with this guy she's seeing. I just have to laugh at (and feel slightly sorry) for this guy who's only too happy to be a rebound, if he wants to trade in his self-respect for what is clearly a selfish method for her to forget you, well that's up to him I guess. Stay strong. Link to comment
neverknowwhy Posted February 18, 2015 Author Share Posted February 18, 2015 Thank you for sharing and sorry to hear you went through something similar. I don't know if she'll ever deal with the fact or sadness that our relationship is over. Even when this new relationship inevitably ends, she'll have no trouble finding some guy to give her attention. She might reach out when this new relationship ends, but I don't count on it. Even so, I won't respond. The sad thing is is that this new guy is probably another good person who she's just going to use for attention. I can promise she's doing the same things to him, classic fast forwarding, talking about the future, etc. It won't end well either. I still can't bring myself to delete the pictures on my phone, but I don't look at them. Oh well. Thank you. Link to comment
DepthOfField Posted February 18, 2015 Share Posted February 18, 2015 I still can't bring myself to delete the pictures on my phone, but I don't look at them That's fine. Back them up, store them on your computer or USB drive, so they're not readily on the phone. You might have a weak moment down the road and be tempted to look and TRUST ME, looking at ANY pics will set you back. Link to comment
chamachama Posted February 18, 2015 Share Posted February 18, 2015 Wow man lol. DELETE and DEFRIEND on all social media. Unless you love being hurt and in pain. If you love drama and anguish and being upset... by all means keep her linked up to all your social media accounts and keep her pics on your phone.. Pour over them and cry yourself to sleep over an over again. Once you realize that you would like to have a little control over how horrible you feel, maybe you will stop smashing your face on the wall. Sorry, I don't sugar coat sh** for anyone. You're doing it to yourself. Once you decide that YOU are more important to YOU than your ex who's being throttled by some other dude now and couldn't care any less about you or how you feel or what your do.... you will finally start healing for real and delete and defriend all connections to her. Right now, your self worth is in the crapper, obviously. How you start building that back up is doing stuff for YOU.....not her. Disconnecting from her digitally is how you start doing things for YOU. Pics... delete them and breath the free air. Link to comment
neverknowwhy Posted February 18, 2015 Author Share Posted February 18, 2015 I deleted the twitter account I used to follow her. I don't have any social media accounts, I just know what her accounts are. Her instagram is public so I can see it whenever I want. I just have to stop looking at it. And you're right. Most likely she doesn't give a f*ck about me at this point. It sucks but I need to accept that. And I do do stuff for me. It's just in the times when I'm alone that I miss her. I will work on moving towards deleting everything I have saved from her. It'll be tough. Thanks for not sugar coating anything. Link to comment
chamachama Posted February 18, 2015 Share Posted February 18, 2015 Here's a story for you neverknowwhy: A man found himself in the middle of a long hallway. In the middle of this long hallway was a solitary door. He walked up to the door and knocked on it. It was answered by a clown who proceeded to beat the living daylights out of him. The next day, the gentleman was in the hallway once more, and once more found his way to the door and knocked on it. Again, it was answered by the same clown and again, the clown beat him senseless. This occurred for 4 more days - the man would be in the hallway, go to the door, knock on it, and the clown would answer the door only to beat him senseless once more. On the 7th day, the man was once again in the hallway. He walked up to the door and knocked on it - but no one answered. So, he went looking for the clown. Stop Looking for the Clown. Link to comment
Brokenhart84 Posted February 18, 2015 Share Posted February 18, 2015 It hurts but you are in a better position than you think. Focus on improving yourself and you will come out victorious. She's running from one relationship to the next and will never find herself. If she does, it will be at a later time. You will get through this. Trust and believe! Whatever you do, do not contact her! Don't don't do it to yourself. Link to comment
neverknowwhy Posted February 18, 2015 Author Share Posted February 18, 2015 That's interesting. Thank you for sharing. I will stop looking for something that will set me back. That also means that I'll never see her face again, nothing about her, absolutely nothing. I'm not sure I'm ready for that, but I need to be. Thank you. She and I obviously have different ways of dealing with this. Even though I'm the one in grief while she's distracting herself with attention from other guys, I think she chose the worse route. I have no plans of contacting her, and I don't think she has any plans on reaching out to me. It sucks, but that's the way it is. Link to comment
Lucha Posted February 18, 2015 Share Posted February 18, 2015 Thank you for this. Verzonden vanaf mijn iPhone met Tapatalk Link to comment
chamachama Posted February 20, 2015 Share Posted February 20, 2015 T That also means that I'll never see her face again, nothing about her, absolutely nothing. I'm not sure I'm ready for that, but I need to be. You don't know that. Eventually she "might" question her decisions if you stay strict no contact. Deleting pics and social media connections is for YOU so that you can heal at a normal pace and start moving forward and not backwards. What have you done that's new in your life lately OP? Doing new cool things and activities and meeting new people is how you heal in a healthy positive way... Link to comment
neverknowwhy Posted February 21, 2015 Author Share Posted February 21, 2015 You don't know that. Eventually she "might" question her decisions if you stay strict no contact. Deleting pics and social media connections is for YOU so that you can heal at a normal pace and start moving forward and not backwards. What have you done that's new in your life lately OP? Doing new cool things and activities and meeting new people is how you heal in a healthy positive way... I still go to the gym everyday as I have been for 3 years now. I meet interesting people there, enjoy conversation. I'm looking for work down here so I can save money and make the move to where I want. It may even be to NYC (where she lives) but she's not the reason I want to be there. Other than that, I try and keep my mind off of her while I'm at home. But EVERY single morning when I wake, she's the first thing on my mind. However, I can't listen to my favorite music anymore. It just reminds me of her and it always will so I'm not sure how to approach that Thanks for your concern/help, means a lot. Link to comment
chamachama Posted February 21, 2015 Share Posted February 21, 2015 Try finding "new" healthy activities. New is synonymous with healing. Try joining martial arts or boxing or indoor rock climbing or even find a link removed group that meets and does cool fun things. Meeting people at the same gym you've been going to for 3 years doesn't do much except keep you in shape (which is very good and essential as well). Find something new and cool with new cool people to get into. Something you didn't do when you were with her. Something that has nothing to do with her, and everything to do with YOU. That is how you really start taking control for yourself and healing for real. Link to comment
dmjord Posted February 21, 2015 Share Posted February 21, 2015 Your best choice is to unfriend and unfollow her. Delete her number and get busy with your life. I know this is hell for you. The guy she's with might be a rebound and she's trying to make you jealous. Don't give her the satisfaction. You're only torturing yourself by looking at her profile. I made the same mistake on valentines day and saw a pic of my ex spooning with her new guy that she started dating less than two weeks after she dumped me. Unfriending her was the best thing i could do. Don't contact her at all, I know it seems impossible but it's for your own sake. Not hers. Link to comment
Odette88 Posted February 21, 2015 Share Posted February 21, 2015 Its just a rebound. It will be over soon and when she starts to really process your break up you will already be over it and two steps ahead of her. People aren't always as happy as they post. We all know that. Link to comment
dmjord Posted February 21, 2015 Share Posted February 21, 2015 My mistake, I didn't read that you already deleted her. Good for you! Link to comment
Lucha Posted February 21, 2015 Share Posted February 21, 2015 Your best choice is to unfriend and unfollow her. Delete her number and get busy with your life. I know this is hell for you. The guy she's with might be a rebound and she's trying to make you jealous. Don't give her the satisfaction. You're only torturing yourself by looking at her profile. I made the same mistake on valentines day and saw a pic of my ex spooning with her new guy that she started dating less than two weeks after she dumped me. Unfriending her was the best thing i could do. Don't contact her at all, I know it seems impossible but it's for your own sake. Not hers. Really? A pic of her spooning?? How childish and inzppropriate.. Verzonden vanaf mijn iPhone met Tapatalk Link to comment
sky09 Posted February 22, 2015 Share Posted February 22, 2015 I still go to the gym everyday as I have been for 3 years now. I meet interesting people there, enjoy conversation. I'm looking for work down here so I can save money and make the move to where I want. It may even be to NYC (where she lives) but she's not the reason I want to be there. Other than that, I try and keep my mind off of her while I'm at home. But EVERY single morning when I wake, she's the first thing on my mind. However, I can't listen to my favorite music anymore. It just reminds me of her and it always will so I'm not sure how to approach that Thanks for your concern/help, means a lot. It does get better. I'm having more and more days where I wake up and go to sleep w/o thinking about her. Sometimes I don't think about her for the whole work day, but there is still a nagging thought "of her" in the back of my mind. She is becoming more and more of a ghost. Somebody I used to know. Remember, that too shall pass. Link to comment
neverknowwhy Posted February 22, 2015 Author Share Posted February 22, 2015 chamachama, I will try and find something new to do. My main focus is on finding a job so I can finally get my life started. I'm 22 and this has been the worst/least productive year of my life. Thanks for your help/suggestions. dmjord, maybe it's a rebound, maybe she had him ready for a while and was just stringing me a long. I don't know and it doesn't matter. She ruined her chances with me. I won't be contacting her. She may contact me when it inevitably ends with this new guy, who knows? I don't count on it, and even so, the damage is done. Odette88, it most likely is a rebound. He's likely some guy that will give her the attention she so desperately needs. She can do whatever she wants now. It's going to end with this new guy, I know it. But I don't think she'll process her loss with me. She'll find someone else to give her attention. I don't care at this point. I'll be just fine. sky09, Thank you. Yes it does get better. I'm going through what you are now. Parts of my day I think of her but it's becoming less and less. I don't know if I'm finally reaching acceptance and clarity or not. But something's different. I'm not sad today and wasn't yesterday. It's a roller coaster, so maybe in a few days I'll be down again. But I take solace in the fact that I like who I am and if she feels we didn't belong, so be it. I'll find someone else. Link to comment
dmjord Posted February 22, 2015 Share Posted February 22, 2015 Really? A pic of her spooning?? How childish and inzppropriate.. I know right!? Turns out her new squeeze posted it to her wall with a bunch of emoji's with the caption "can't wait to see you tonight sweetheart!" made me want to scream. Link to comment
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