weathergirl Posted January 30, 2015 Share Posted January 30, 2015 Ahhh. . great point. She gets to rewrite the rules and you say you will respect her needs? Where's the respect for yours? +1000 Unfortunately, I doubt the OP is even reading this thread anymore. Some people just can't handle the truth... Link to comment
weathergirl Posted January 30, 2015 Share Posted January 30, 2015 You know in reading this thread (and others on this board created by male posters), I am wondering... what the hell is hapenning with young men in our society these days? Are boys not being raised to be MEN anymore? I mean...allowing the woman to make all the rules, catering to her needs, allowing her to call the shots and dictate the pace, and in and another thread created by a male poster, driving himself into a near panic (if not full blown panic) accommodating HER timetable? Without ever expressing HIS needs and what HE wants... What the hell happened? Link to comment
reinventmyself Posted January 30, 2015 Share Posted January 30, 2015 You know in reading this thread (and others on this board created by male posters), I am wondering... what the hell is hapenning with young men in our society these days? Are boys not being raised to be MEN anymore? I mean...allowing the woman to make all the rules, catering to her needs, allowing her to call the shots and dictate the pace, and in and another thread created by a male poster, driving himself into a near panic (if not full blown panic) accommodating HER timetable? Without ever expressing HIS needs and what HE wants... What the hell happened? Well . .I guess we have to take in consideration this forum attracts those of us who are looking for answers or those who like to give advise. We hope the majority is out living happy, healthy, productive lives or somewhere in between. Link to comment
weathergirl Posted January 30, 2015 Share Posted January 30, 2015 Well . .I guess we have to take in consideration this forum attracts those of us who are looking for answers or those who like to give advise. We hope the majority is out living happy, healthy, productive lives or somewhere in between. I hope so too! Ugh... Link to comment
reinventmyself Posted January 30, 2015 Share Posted January 30, 2015 You know in reading this thread (and others on this board created by male posters), I am wondering... what the hell is hapenning with young men in our society these days? Are boys not being raised to be MEN anymore? I mean...allowing the woman to make all the rules, catering to her needs, allowing her to call the shots and dictate the pace, and in and another thread created by a male poster, driving himself into a near panic (if not full blown panic) accommodating HER timetable? Without ever expressing HIS needs and what HE wants... What the hell happened? I raised 2 young men (28&24) and think of them often when I am reading some of the posts you are referring to. Makes me question my parenting and hoping I raised them to be strong but sensitive young men. Not an easy balance to strike but as their mom I knew early on I would set a foundation of how to treat women and what to expect. I also recognized (with the help of a lot of therapy) that leaving their father would send them a clear message of how NOT to treat a woman. (sad but true) When I read some of these things here I can't help but wonder what kind of parents some have, after all we are all a product of our environment. Link to comment
Ms Darcy Posted January 30, 2015 Share Posted January 30, 2015 You know in reading this thread (and others on this board created by male posters), I am wondering... what the hell is hapenning with young men in our society these days? Are boys not being raised to be MEN anymore? I mean...allowing the woman to make all the rules, catering to her needs, allowing her to call the shots and dictate the pace, and in and another thread created by a male poster, driving himself into a near panic (if not full blown panic) accommodating HER timetable? Without ever expressing HIS needs and what HE wants... What the hell happened? I think it can be very difficult for (some) men because gender roles aren't as clearly defined as in the past and women have a lot more economic and educational opportunities in the past. I mean, the dynamic is just different. So, dare I say, I think a lot of women might intimidate some men (rightly or wrongly). Link to comment
weathergirl Posted January 30, 2015 Share Posted January 30, 2015 I raised 2 young men (28&24) and think of them often when I am reading some of the posts you are referring to. Makes me question my parenting and hoping I raised them to be strong but sensitive young men. Not an easy balance to strike but as their mom I knew early on I would set a foundation of how to treat women and what to expect. I also recognized (with the help of a lot of therapy) that leaving their father would send them a clear message of how NOT to treat a woman. (sad but true) When I read some of these things here I can't help but wonder what kind of parents some have, after all we are all a product of our environment. Totally agree which was my point... How are they being raised? Link to comment
reinventmyself Posted January 30, 2015 Share Posted January 30, 2015 Totally agree which was my point... How are they being raised? I can tell you, watching my sons date and interact with young women. Whoa. .young women are very aggressive these days! They are not sitting on the side lines waiting to be asked for the next dance. There is such a shift in young women going after what they want . . personally and professionally. Link to comment
chewy21 Posted January 31, 2015 Author Share Posted January 31, 2015 You know in reading this thread (and others on this board created by male posters), I am wondering... what the hell is hapenning with young men in our society these days? Are boys not being raised to be MEN anymore? I mean...allowing the woman to make all the rules, catering to her needs, allowing her to call the shots and dictate the pace, and in and another thread created by a male poster, driving himself into a near panic (if not full blown panic) accommodating HER timetable? Without ever expressing HIS needs and what HE wants... What the hell happened? For just a moment the other day, I thought I might have pegged you wrong before. I thought maybe you weren't as overbearing and judgmental as I originally thought. The past two days have shown me that I was right on the money. You're not here to help people. You're here to offer insults in the form of advice in order to feel better about yourself. The only person that behavior helps is you, and it's a sad way to go about inflating your self-esteem. Asking what happened to "real men", you're underhandedly telling me that I'm not one. That might hurt if it didn't reveal so much about the "men" in your own life. See, I view women as equals. Not inferior, not superior, but equal. I'm guessing, since you've been saying I'm not assertive enough, that the men in your life probably lorded over the women old-testament style, perhaps dragging them by the hair into the cave when it was time to play hide-the-sausage, then bellowing loudly for their dinner. Thankfully, society has developed (mostly) beyond this type of behavior. I'm sorry that you have not. Still, it's not your fault and I don't blame you, just whoever raised you to think this way, and those along the way who kept you from seeking anything better. Not to mention that this thread has continued vilifying her *AFTER* her medical issues were shown to be the root cause of the delay. As though that doesn't change anything. She's uncomfortable, scared, and feels like her downstairs is a cesspool of disease, yet you all expect her to just get over it and take what I have to give her. Is that what a "real man" would do, weathergirl? If so, then I hope for your sake you never have to deal with anything like this, because your caveman is still going to expect his nookie, and you're honor-bound to give it to him, no matter how you feel about your body. I'm all of three years younger than you, yet you want to muse about how "young men" are being raised. If you want to throw me into that category, my response is "old women don't understand how equality works because they've spent a life in servitude." But please, do post about how I've intentionally mischaracterized your relationship. My name's Kettle, Pot. Call me black if you like. If you're truly curious about what happened to the barbarism you conflate with manhood, go start a thread about it. Leave mine alone, like you claimed you were going to do several days ago. Your continued presence here only further proves my point: you're not here for others, you're here for the sake of your ego at the expense of people looking for help. I've got no more time for it. I wish Sportster hadn't left the site, but I really don't blame him. The Healing subforum is fantastic, but the Dating subforum's purpose seems to be to herd people in that direction. I can't remember the last time I saw advice posted that encouraged working through an issue. Every thread's major recommendation is to quit, move on, find someone else to make miserable. Don't work on yourself, just keep plugging away until you find someone who will put up with you stubbornly assuming you're perfect. It's just sad. There are a few who give genuinely good advice and are here for that reason. There's just way more judgmental people who care more about being right, or being accepted as part of a majority. One would expect more empathy and care from members of a site devoted to discussing emotions with people looking for help with theirs. I'd appreciate it if a moderator could lock this thread. I don't see the value in allowing people to continue dog-piling my girlfriend, my relationship, and me. Besides, my original issue is resolved, and those who provided help have been thanked. Anyone with something else to say about it is welcome to PM me. Link to comment
weathergirl Posted January 31, 2015 Share Posted January 31, 2015 chewy...one more piece of advice if you can stomach hearing it. Try not to take what I (or others) post so personally and too much to heart. I am just one person on a very popular message board and my opinion doesn't mean jack shyt in the grand scheme of things. It's having confidence in your own ability to perceive situations you experience correctly that is what's important. I only know your situation from what you have posted on this board...and I believe in calling it like I see it....based on whatever information a poster chooses to provide.. Not saying I am right...it's just my 'opinion'. My style IS very blunt... some people appreciate it and thank me and well, I guess others, like you find it offensive, among other things too apparently... I am sorry for that...and to you and others who find my posts offensive.. all I have to say is feel free to ignore me! I do the same thing when I come accross a post from a poster whose posts I don't care to read. Again I am just ONE poster on a very busy board... there is absolutely no reason why it should matter to you what I think or say...which it obviously does... hence your above post lambasting me personally.. I wish you luck with your girlfriend. I hope we are all wrong and that as soon as her medical issues get resolved...you and she are having the best dam sex of your lives! Link to comment
chewy21 Posted January 31, 2015 Author Share Posted January 31, 2015 I think I take as much as I need from the posts here. You say I care too much what you think. I think you shouldn't flatter yourself (which is why you're here anyway). Even after I've written you off, you still continue to make this about me and what my problem is. Not a thought or an inkling that it could just be you that caused my reaction. Just like you don't think before posting hurtful and underhanded comments about anybody with whom you disagree. Your style is not only evident here, but elsewhere as well. It's judgmental and demeaning. I will take one piece of advice from you, however. I will utilize this forum's ignore function, which I didn't even know existed before today. I've never needed it before. That alone should tell you something. Have a nice life. Link to comment
weathergirl Posted January 31, 2015 Share Posted January 31, 2015 I think I take as much as I need from the posts here. You say I care too much what you think. I think you shouldn't flatter yourself (which is why you're here anyway). Even after I've written you off, you still continue to make this about me and what my problem is. Not a thought or an inkling that it could just be you that caused my reaction. Just like you don't think before posting hurtful and underhanded comments about anybody with whom you disagree. Your style is not only evident here, but elsewhere as well. It's judgmental and demeaning. I will take one piece of advice from you, however. I will utilize this forum's ignore function, which I didn't even know existed before today. I've never needed it before. That alone should tell you something. Have a nice life. You have a nice life as well chewy...I hope everything works out the way you hope it does.. Take care! Link to comment
IvanKaramazov Posted January 31, 2015 Share Posted January 31, 2015 You know in reading this thread (and others on this board created by male posters), I am wondering... what the hell is hapenning with young men in our society these days? Are boys not being raised to be MEN anymore? I can't but appreciate the irony of this sentiment. For fifty years women have been complaining about men, masculinity, "patriarchy" and so on, and now that we're in the 21st century... they're complaining when men actually heed the complaints and cease to behave as they used to. Or maybe it's just more wanting to have your cake and eat it too. You want a 'real man?' You might just try empathizing with the double bind a man is necessarily in today. Some women call his masculinity toxic and demand he abdicate the gender role, some women mock and ridicule men who abdicate those gender roles, and many seem to fit both categories simultaneously. Brian Scott McFadden gives a nice summary: In any case, if you find us 'boys' don't live up to your standards of manhood, weathergirl, why don't you go ahead and go look for a 'real man' in Saudi Arabia. Link to comment
weathergirl Posted January 31, 2015 Share Posted January 31, 2015 Thanks for the suggestion Ivan...but I have a boyfriend...who I am very much in love with (and him with me) and have been for 5+ years...so no thanks. Link to comment
Capricorn3 Posted January 31, 2015 Share Posted January 31, 2015 I'd appreciate it if a moderator could lock this thread. Done.......... Thread closed. Link to comment
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