Being comfortable with your age

[hers]

Another thing I've thought of:

 

When I was 15, 18, 25, I felt like I knew everything. I didn't need advice, I didn't need guidance, and I sure as hell didn't want it unsolicited. But at 32, I am more humble and can say when I don't know something. I don't try to act like I know everything. I can admit when I'm wrong and can apologize when I know I need to. I'm also less dramatic and don't want fuss anymore like I used to. Just another thought to add

[mhowe]

Absolutely! Look at how many threads are on here from the 18-25 yr olds who "believe" that the "heart knows" and will follow it against all advice to the contrary.

 

With age comes the wisdom to accept you don't know $hit...and if you were only open to listening, you could save yourself much heartache and trials/tribulation!

[Blue Spiral]

I was the same way with puberty. I hated seeing my body change.

 

That really freaked me out, too. When I was in sixth grade, I had insomnia for a few days--the doctors couldn't figure out why, but I'm pretty sure it was because of puberty-related stress.

 

Then, when I was in my late teens/early twenties, I went through a few years where I only slept a few hours each night, because I felt completely overwhelmed by adulthood.

 

What is it that you hate about getting older?

 

Aside from the physical changes, the increased social expectations. When I was a kid, I was fine--all you had to do was sit at your desk and be quiet. I could do that. But when I became a teenager, and there was more social interaction...yikes. It was/is a nightmare for me.

 

As for having more knowledge and experience: I know way more than I want to know, and I've experienced way more than I want to experience. I'd like to go back to being a kid, thanks.

[IAmFCA]

I started working with a trainer in a gym I built in my basement at age 49.

I am now stronger...and more fit...than I have ever been in my life since college (when it was easier to incorporate fitness into a weekly regime). I am no where near my college weight...but I eat better...have the bone density of a woman 15 yrs younger than my age...and have more steenght and balance than ever. But at my age...it is a commitment to maintain.

 

Ok, 50 here I come!

 

I am not stronger and faster than in college, but I have more endurance and am a better all around athlete, have a more proportional build (I really didn't want traps anymore!), and I am within 10 pounds and 1 size of college weight. MHowe, I'm coming along that same path to hit 50 in style. Thanks for taking the head winds.

[mhowe]

Ok, 50 here I come!

 

I am not stronger and faster than in college, but I have more endurance and am a better all around athlete, have a more proportional build (I really didn't want traps anymore!), and I am within 10 pounds and 1 size of college weight. MHowe, I'm coming along that same path to hit 50 in style. Thanks for taking the head winds.

 

Happy to take the head winds. With menopause comes a slower metabolism and an acceptance that what was once a given now comes effort! I was making huge progress...dropped almost 10% body fat...only to have mums demise/death take me off focus on my life for almost 9 months. But...back on track and steady progress again. Life happens...and sometimes the focus must be on others...

[IAmFCA]

Blue Spiral, in the US, the most dangerous time for suicide is 18 - 24, for exactly the anxiety you described. It's a huge leap, from family and schooling to infinite choices and endless responsibility and no safety net. I understand social anxiety is a greater challenge for you than for some, but even still, you had a lot of company in terms of anxiety at that time. I think that is why many of us drank our way into our 20s, the drinking and sex and all that craziness is an escape from the crush of adulthood. Even the very social were anxious, expressing it outwardly instead of inwardly.

[IAmFCA]

Happy to take the head winds. With menopause comes a slower metabolism and an acceptance that what was once a given now comes effort! I was making huge progress...dropped almost 10% body fat...only to have mums demise/death take me off focus on my life for almost 9 months. But...back on track and steady progress again. Life happens...and sometimes the focus must be on others...

 

Then I will offer a fanning breeze to give a little extra push...

[mhowe]

You go girl!

[tiredofvampires]

Of interesting (but not surprising) note is that there was only 1 man on this entire thread. That should tell you something.

 

Men are not thinking about this issue, or if they are, it's not a big enough deal to bother to post about.

[ApocalypseDreams]

No, I think men are thinking about this issue.

 

Most of my friends have concerns about the physical aging and attractiveness, just like many young women have. I know it concerns me.

 

I'm comfortable with the wisdom, knowledge and experiences that I'm gaining as I age. No so happy with how my body is changing.

[tiredofvampires]

Well I guess the others thinking about it aren't as brave to admit it, then, lol.

[blueidealist24]

I think maybe some men aren't commenting on this thread since it was started by a woman, about a conversation with another woman.

 

I'm not as concerned about aging as some of my friends are. I've always been a late bloomer, physically, and I haven't started to have a lot of the negative physical effects that often come with aging. Plus, I don't hear the ticking of my "biological clock" like some women say they do, and have no desire to have children yet. I do sometimes feel like I need to cram some experiences in before age 30 though (like travel), like I'll be too old to do them after that and should settle down with a permanent job, house, and all of that. Btw, I recently turned 28.

[ApocalypseDreams]

Actually, one of my big things is concerts.

 

I'm not looking forward to the day that I really stand out at a music concert. lol

[Fudgie]

I imagine I'll do most traveling in my 30s/40s/50s, not my 20s. I need to finish school and settle into a career. I can enjoy the fruits of my labour later when I'm a bit older, have some experience and more common sense and more money, etc.

 

Btw, my idea of "travel" is having 1-2 week vacation every 1-1.5 years and going to some place but not spending a ton of money, just setting to know the local setting and seeing the sights and everything. Tons of exploring. I remember a time where I went to Mexico and my dad and I explored together and saw some cool stuff. We got fussed at by a Mexican police man because we were being nosy, hehe. and then I found a tunnel at some Mayan ruins that was dark so I just CRAWLED INSIDE. Ended up inside an ancient ruin with no door.

 

Stuff like that lasts a lifetime. And you're never too old for stuff like that.

[Capricorn3]

I'm not looking forward to the day that I really stand out at a music concert. lol

By that time you would have probably outgrown concerts years ago anyway, lol.

[tiredofvampires]

I haven't outgrown concerts, hehe...not by a longshot.

 

I JUST WISH SOME MORE WOULD COME, SO I CAN GET OUT MY ROCKIN' SHOES!!

 

And not to worry, under any scenario -- first, if you're listening to a band that you like NOW, the younger crowd will be the ones in the minority and looking surprisingly hip to be in on the best music there is (the stuff from YOUR generation, of course!) Second, if it's a band that's new for their generation, you get to look tragically hip for knowing your stuff, to THEM. And third, if it's a band or bands that are ageless, timeless classics, you'll be in a mishmash of so many people of different ages and looks, no one will stand out. Those are some of my favorite concerts because it feels like you're united by music. And the world is one, big, happy, peaceful, non-agist family (just like ENA, lol). For example, we had an AC/DC tribute band come a few years ago. Total world peace.

 

No matter what, even if the older people are in the minority, you'll never be the only one (other people share good ideas) and you get to look like a seasoned music legend who knows no musical limitations. It's just cool no matter how you slice it. The only way it doesn't look cool is if all you do all evening is sit at the bar turning drinks in your hand, slumped and sulking, so get out there and feel the beat with everyone else and people will think you're the shiz. Trust me, I do it, and it works. (And I always see even older people than me, so there's always someone else for the kiddies to gawk at, if they aren't looking at the stage).

 

You gotta let nothing stop you when it comes to music.

 

Incidentally, as this pertains to the topic, I actually look and feel my youngest when I'm at concerts, bopping away with my little black dress. It's instant anti-aging medicine.

[Fudgie]

A couple of my favourite artists actually have an older crowd. I was one of the "young" ones in the audience. But it was a real mix of people and very enjoyable.

 

Sent from my SM-G900V

[IAmFCA]

I LOVE going to live music. I have a difficult time finding women to come with me. By brother, my bf both will come, making us - roughly - a representation of three decades, 4s, 5s, and 6s, since my bf is a little bit younger and my bro a decade older and I am on the cusp of 50. My niece will come to, adding a 20-something to the mix.

 

My bf is a man (duh?) and he definitely thinks about age. For him, its about staying athletic and achieving a measure of financial security.

 

The Gentleman (now, I hate that I can't give my bf that nickname as it is certainly true and the Gentleman was, underneath, a sexist control freak, but whatever....) - he was so sensitive about his age that few people knew it. He thought about his looks, his athleticism, and his ability to finally attract and retain - choose to retain - a gf who would become his first wife. He studies diet and exercise all in terms of their youth-extending properties.

 

In my experience, both genders are impacted.

[happpybear]

This is an interesting thread, and timely as I celebrated my 34th a few days before Christmas. I have mixed feelings. My mother let me know that when I turn a year older, she feels a year older too, more so on my birthday than her own. I never thought about it like that--it was her birth-day too.

 

I definitely feel more comfortable with myself now in my thirties. When I look back on myself in my twenties I just shake my head sometimes...gah, I was so naive! As for looking older, well I still look young for my age..still the same weight I was in my teens, so I don't feel that aspect of it maybe in five years I willl have something to say about that! Though I am much healthier now, and stronger physically. However, now I cannot stay up late anymore and it would take me days to recover from an all-nighter. Same with a hangover...days to recover.

 

When I turned 30 I hated it. But, I also was at a point in my life where I had not lived up to my own high expectations of myself. I didn't "have it all' yet and was no where close to it, and I felt a lot of pressure from myself. But I have learned to just accept where I am, and accept that I am on a journey that is uniquely my own and unlike anyone else's. I have a lot to be grateful for.

 

It's hard seeing my family age. My mom looks 10 years older than she is, my dad has white hair now. My Oma is almost blind and crippled now, my aunt is going bald...in my mind I still picture them the way they looked 20 years ago.

[Fudgie]

I would gladly slip into a 70-year-old body now and live the rest of my life that way if it meant I wouldn't lose my family. I really do fear that part of aging.

 

I'm younger compared to my coworkers so I get stuck with crappy shifts sometimes because "I can handle it, I'm young" *sigh* I am doing a night shift now.