How would you react to this situation

[CasualDude10]

Read this real quick. I could go into details but Im going to sum it up to make it a shorter read.

 

So me and this girl have hung out twice on double dates, and she seemed really into me. We had a date planned for two weeks, and we would have small phone conversations here and there throughout the two week span. The date was scheduled for today and I drove an hour back home from my college yesterday specifically for the date. Thursday I talked to her to make sure the date was still on. I texted her at 1pm on Saturday more in depth about the date and she didn't text me back until 11pm that night saying "hey im sorry ive been at work but i am getting back with my ex so i cant go tomorrow. im sorry."

 

what kind of bs is that? didnt give me heads up and talked to me all week about the date to cancel at the last minute after i drove back...

 

If this happened to you, how would you react? Im rattled.

 

(the date was going to be our first individual date, dinner/movies in case you were wondering.)

[LoveSoDeep]

She's back with her ex. End of story move on.

 

How would I react? I'd be upset but really there's nothing you could have done differently. It was inconsiderate of her but I guess that just means you dodged a bullet...do you really want to be with someone who can be that inconsiderate?

[CasualDude10]

She's back with her ex. End of story move on.

 

How would I react? I'd be upset but really there's nothing you could have done differently. It was inconsiderate of her but I guess that just means you dodged a bullet...do you really want to be with someone who can be that inconsiderate?

 

I was just thinking, what if things dont pan out with her and her ex and she comes back to me. would you give it another shot or give her the cold shoulder? im debating that because i have a feeling it may happen

[notalady]

I was just thinking, what if things dont pan out with her and her ex and she comes back to me. would you give it another shot or give her the cold shoulder? im debating that because i have a feeling it may happen

 

I would not give her a second chance. She is inconsiderate (if she knew you were going to drive an hour just to see her and didn't tell you beforehand), I would not date someone like that. More importantly, she already dropped you once, you are the second choice for her, and anyone with any self respect will not take that. So no, don't give her another chance if she comes back, you deserve better treatment.

[Sportster2005]

I would be rattled. But I would take the high road. Be polite, let it go. Try to get past the anger. And for gawd sake don't be spiteful or vengeful.

[Ms Darcy]

Do you really want to be her second choice? Don't consider her coming back after the ex dumps.her.

[catfeeder]

How long was she broken up with her ex when you started seeing her?

[Careerchoice]

Not that you should get down on yourself for taking the chance, but you must understand there is a certain level of risk in the dating game. Going into this "date", you should've expected that there would be at least a possibility she would flake. Hopefully, this would put you in a frame of mind where you would not be so bugged by her flaking. Don't get frustrated, don't hate on women, just understand this is the way the world works and act accordingly. As soon as she flaked, you should've done your best to make other plans. After all, your time is better spent enjoying it, not worrying about someone who ditched you, correct? And it's not like you have a long history or something, she doesn't really owe you all that much as far as courtesy is concerned.

 

But your reaction right now is too sensitive. If your fiance leaves you at the alter, that deserves a strong reaction. If a girl you hardly know cancels a date the night before? Doesn't deserve a strong response.

 

As far as how to react if (IF) she comes back to you, why decide in advance? Maybe it's best to just react in the moment. But she does have strong ties to her ex. An option is to have her come see you for the date instead. You're not a sucker twice, right?

[Natasha24]

I would be pissed but there's really nothing you can do. If she ever tries to talk to you again, just ignore her. You could send one text, "I drove an hour to [whatever town] specifically for this date. You could have given me a heads up instead of wasting my time. Good luck". It's kind of nasty but who cares, she was nasty too, sometimes it feels good to let it out.

[CasualDude10]

they dated for like 3 years i believe and broke up back in like january i think

[CasualDude10]

correct, thanks !

[t1lersm0m1]

I would be upset and disappointed, but there's really not much to react to. She's made her choice.

 

But I'd know that if she came crawling back I'd say to myself "been there, done that, NOT going back."

[ArtVan30]

Yes, there is always the possibility someone will flake. But they way/context of this flake was....really flakey and inconsiderate.

 

OP: Move on and forget about this girl. Best of luck to you.

[SoulTaker]

One of the objectives during a first date is to check on her "availability" status. Is she seeing someone? Is there an "ex" in the picture, or trying to get back with her...? What did she say on the dates about her situation with the "ex", or did you never bring up the subject? Why was she dating (friends, casual, LTR)?

[thatdudethere]

Yeah that was grade A BS from her. If that happened to me I just move on and if she calls, I would say I moved on. Something similar happened to me. I met a girl through "adult" means and we started talking and agreed to a no string attached deal. The first time we were to meet at her apartment for business she kept talking about other stuff until it got late and asked me to postpone it for another day and as I left for the train station she started texting me "stuff" and saying "too bad you are gone".

 

So that next time we were meeting, she kept texting me all morning about the what's and hows for our meeting. I didn't forget what happened the first time and I was supposed to leave home at a certain time to get to her but I waited. Half an hour+ into the time I was supposed to be on the train she texts me that she wanted to cancel and try next week. I told her I knew it and hadn't actually left home and there wasn't going to be a next week. She got really mad and started demanding me to get to her place ASAP because now she felt like it and it was going to happen because she wanted so. I said no and she cursed for a bit over text saying things like "good luck finding someone else who wants to @#$ you" and "no one else would dare to touch you" etc. And I replied things like "thanks" and "oh well" and eventually the shut up. Never contacted her again.