Hopelessness

[deadmareish]

Ever feel like the world is against you?

No matter what you do nothing ever goes in the right direction. Life's always at a crossroads and you're one of those people that never seems to chooses the right path.

 

Ever feel like you'll never be happy again?

No matter how hard you try to make yourself happy, this sadness and emptiness is all that consumes you.

 

It's my birthday this Friday. My first birthday for a long time without him.

This time last year I spent three days in London, with the man I loved - ever will love.

It was one of the best times I have ever had. It was magical in all ways of the word. I was so happy.

I want to go back to those three days. I want to live those three days over for the rest of my life.

 

I don't know why I came here. Maybe something to leave behind for people find.

 

The hopelessness is endless.

I wait for the day I finally have the courage to do what I need to do.

 

It feels close.

[Iggy5129]

You are what you think. Change your thoughts, change your life. Thoughts have a physical effect on your body and the world. Be careful what you put out there.

[panther]

Ever feel like you'll never be happy again?

 

Yes I have. But I kept living and guess what? I became happy again.

 

You can't possibly do what you are thinking about doing because of an ex. Do you really believe he is the only one capable of making you happy? If you do, you are wrong.

You keep going and living your life until you start being happy again as a single person, and then you might start dating other man and I can promise you, you will find another one. Please be patient, you'll get there.

[t1lersm0m1]

When you tell yourself the world is against you, that is exactly what you will get. You get back what you put out.

 

The world isn't out to get anyone.

[waffle]

You can't possibly do what you are thinking about doing because of an ex.

Exactly.

 

I went to high school (thirty years ago) with a boy who had a girlfriend, she broke up with him, he was devastated and killed himself. Of course, the girl was devastated too upon learning this, but she went on to live a normal life, married, had kids, etc. He's still dead. Another thirty years from now she will probably be retired, enjoying grandchildren, etc. He will still be dead.

 

What a waste.

[deadmareish]

Exactly.

 

I went to high school (thirty years ago) with a boy who had a girlfriend, she broke up with him, he was devastated and killed himself. Of course, the girl was devastated too upon learning this, but she went on to live a normal life, married, had kids, etc. He's still dead. Another thirty years from now she will probably be retired, enjoying grandchildren, etc. He will still be dead.

 

What a waste.

 

It's not cos of my ex. I just can't take living my life anymore.

I was just expressing the memory I had of me this time last year because I was happy then. I feel a very long way from that feeling now.

[t1lersm0m1]

The problem is, and a lot of us struggle with this, you have to learn to be happy alone. Otherwise, anytime you go through a break up you will feel this devastated. I am personally working on being happy alone, and I'm 37. Who said you can't teach a dog new tricks?

 

My mom lives in perpetual depression. She creates it for herself by living her life on the couch, constantly saying WHOA IS ME. Yesterday, she sent me a two paragraph text about how much pain she is in physically because she has arthritis in her knees and just had knee replacement surgery on her right knew. While I emphathize with her pain, what am I supposed to be able to do for it? There's nothing I can do. She sent me the text for sympathy and I refuse to pity her.

 

The way you live your life is up to you. You have the power to change your life, or you can post about your misery on a public forum. Sorry to be blunt, but them's the facts.

 

Misery breeds misery. And if you have friends, your misery will push them away.

[deadmareish]

I didn't post this for sympathy and pity. I don't need any of that.

Everyone's circumstances are different I guess. I don't just feel like this because of my break up because I started to feel like this even before that had happened. Again, this isn't just about my ex.

I agree, for the people who wallow then you're advice would be of value. But, I don't. I've been trying to change just nothings working out.

 

I still live my normal life I don't let this stop that, but I'm always masking this pain.

 

What if you're just not meant to be happy?

[Capricorn3]

OP, have you ever considered counseling/therapy? If not, why not? You need it.

[t1lersm0m1]

No one is not meant to be happy. And I get the constant depression, I posted a thread about it. The depression sucks, I hate it. It's like I'm constantly in a fog. But I promise you, you do have the power to change your life, you just need to use the right tools.

 

I still live my normal life I don't let this stop that, but I'm always masking this pain.

 

What if you're just not meant to be happy?

[lerenard]

The thing is - your happiness depends on you, not on someone else/god/faith or whatever. There is no "meant to be" or "not meant to be".

There is "what am I doing in this life to be happy".

Most of your threads here are about your EX and about your body. What else makes you feel sad and like you are "not meant" to be happy? Because ex problems and body image problems are not the end of the world!

[deadmareish]

OP, have you ever considered counseling/therapy? If not, why not? You need it.

 

I considered it. But in the end, how would it help?

[t1lersm0m1]

Focusing on the negative will only breed more negativity, hence your opinion that you are "not meant to be happy".

 

I've had a very rough life. But I don't think that makes me special, I think that makes me human. And I've used my past hardships to make me stronger. I'm 37 and still learning and growing. I have myself convinced that I'm going to absolutely ROCK at age 40, lol.

 

Seriously, I've looked at friends in the past and asked myself why can't I have what they have? That's the wrong question to ask. I needed to stop comparing myself to others, I needed to learn gratitude by volunteering, and I"ve stopped envying other's relationships, jobs, homes, money, cars, etc.

 

My son and I live in a 2 bedroom apartment. I drive a 7 year old car. AND I LOVE MY LIFE.

 

The choice is yours. And it is a CHOICE.

[t1lersm0m1]

I know you were replying to someone else, but read my previous post about using the right tools to get yourself out of this depression. Therapy is a tool.

 

Complaining about your life will not change your life. Complaining without action is pointless, it only serves to further bring you down.

 

I considered it. But in the end, how would it help?

[deadmareish]

I know you were replying to someone else, but read my previous post about using the right tools to get yourself out of this depression. Therapy is a tool.

 

Complaining about your life will not change your life. Complaining without action is pointless, it only serves to further bring you down.

 

I appreciate the advice and since you've been through this and come out of it I guess I could stay hopeful.

I've never had a bad life. I don't know why I feel like this because I know I shouldn't. I just feel like I've made so many bad choices and it's lead me here to a life I don't want but no matter how hard I try I just can't improve.

 

I know complaining about it doesn't change anything but at the end of the day, if you've already tried and tried, what else is there?

[deadmareish]

The thing is - your happiness depends on you, not on someone else/god/faith or whatever. There is no "meant to be" or "not meant to be".

There is "what am I doing in this life to be happy".

Most of your threads here are about your EX and about your body. What else makes you feel sad and like you are "not meant" to be happy?

 

Most of my threads are about my ex because I found this site in purpose of finding advice on how to deal with the situation. It was only after I realised there's other help to offer and so I started to express other issues I wanted to deal with.

 

I feel like I am not meant to be happy because everything I do always turns out badly. I feel like no matter how hard I try no matter what I do, I always pull the short straw. I'm always the person the 1% chance of something bad happening, then it happens... if you see my point?

 

In retro spec I have always kind of felt this way since I was about 16 years old... but then I met my boyfriend and my sadness was never as bad as what it had been or could be (I still had some moments) , I think now without him or someone/something like that. Before I felt like - 'oh well at least I have this one thing and it supports me when I take a fall back.' I've just gone back to realising what I did before and now I'm further on in my life and i think well, if it's always going to be like this, then what's the point? Ya' know?

[lerenard]

I went through a period in my life where I felt just like you. And then I also had a BF who at first took away my sadness, and 3 years later he tried to kill me twice. I recovered from that, I am not the happiest person on this planet, but I am getting there, and my hope and faith in better day saved me.

 

Everybody here has a sad story to tell - to each their own, but please consider at least TRYING some therapy or counselling, it will make a biggest difference. Read something about positive thinking/attitude, self-confidence, or a biography of any successful person - they all mostly started so low and so depressed and about to break.