Very powerful Tips on getting your ex back

[askdan]

O.K. Well I have probably seen all of the web sites and e-books on the Internet about getting back your ex for the past 11 months now...

 

Let me tell you, I know what works and what doesn't work. I cannot give personal advice to individuals, because all of our stories are different. I am personally going through a breakup myself, and 11 months later, it is my turn to share some advice. I have learned a few powerful methods that WORK!! (You may print this posting for future references).

 

I am sending you web sites with excellent e-books that you can download and will be easy for you to reverse your breakup and win back your ex. Please do not ask me to distribute copies to you. These are probably the most powerful plans I have seen so far.

 

Am I back with my ex?? No...but the tides are slowly changing and we are on speaking terms again because I used these plans. You need to use a new kind of psychology and weird techniques that you've never heard of...

Believe me, these professionals know what they are talking about...I don't garantee that they will work for all of you, but at least, it gives you something to work with...

 

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(best one in my opinion, but the most expensive...works even if you are NOT married...it works for ANY kind of relationship.

 

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[askdan]

Another excellent posting which has helped me a lot...I printed this one and studied it and read it many times:

 

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[askdan]

If you see interesting links or articles with good advice or strategies for getting back your ex, please share them! We should come back to this specific forum and post all of the links that we can find.

 

The more information we have, the more people we can help, and the less hopeless they will feel. Let's post all of the articles and links that we can find!

[martyj]

hey i am wanting my ex back but feel it is a lost cause

 

was yours a complete lost cause?

[Marko]

my g/f of 1 year broke up w/ 9 days ago.

 

Her reasons were as follows. I had a hard time adjusting to florida, and inadvertantly bashed the place she spent all her life in, just about every chance I got. I always compared things to Chicago, etc. She felt that I was not happy here and didn't want to hold me back. yet she also states she does not want me to leave.

 

her other reason was that she thought she got on my nerves. I would somtimes be short or fuss w/ her in response, and the truth was I was somtimes irratible, because we had no space from each other. We work togther (STILL!) and she would sleep over everynight. we were togther 24/7 w/ no breaks and no separate lives.

 

ironically, I now know how I can fix all those problems that she is not willing to attempt to work out.

 

She says she misses me, she is depressed and still cares about me, but feels it did not work. She said she has made up her mind, and does not want to rekindle. However, she wants to stray friends because she really enjoys being with me, and like the person I am. She says she cannot predict the future, but right now, her answer is final.

 

Today we agreed to hit "the reset button", and start over as friends. She says if there is somthing there between us, it will happen, but don't try to make it happen. She wants me to accept that it is over, and we are starting over as friends.

 

need I remind that we work togther, everyday, and I often give her left. (she has no car)

 

We have plans for monday if everything goes alright thru weekend. (if I don't gt emotional or break apart at work, like I have been all week) Im hurting really bad here, and I miss her terribly, as she was my best friend.

 

do you see this relationship working out ? Any advice on how I should behave at work and on our day out ? I am in dire need of advice.

 

thanks.

[askdan]

Yes, I definitely think that you have a lot of chances there.

 

The fact that she is spends time with you or that you have interraction at work puts you at a significant advantage.

 

I think that your best solution, if you want to invest $24, would be the PDF document on link removed

 

It explains in detail how to behave around her, at work, with the friendship, etc... to mazimize your chances of reconciliation.

 

Just don't freek out if you hear that she is dating someone else, or if she has another boyfriend. There rebound relationship don't work out very well. Be patient. The process could take months, if not a year.

 

Date other people. Even if your ex finds out.

 

Good luck.

[lipton]

Hi,

 

I appreciate the links and resources you have provided. There are others out there too. Which are good, and which are just a waste of money. I bought "how to bring back the love of you life" by Cucan Pemo. It has not helped.

 

Also, some of these resources suggest no contact, and some seem to say to take advantage of all contact. Which is best?

 

The breakup for me occurred 4 months ago, and we were only apart for a few weeks. We've gone thru "just friends" at her request. I could not do it, and yet she said she did not want to lose me. So we began dating again. But not at all like we were in the past. The passion is not there. But the friendship is. I see her or talk to her every day in some form, and most of it is at her request. But just lately I know she has been looking to date other guys.

 

We have plans to do things together, take trips,etc., over the next several months, that she seems genuinely excited about. But it appears she is going to date others during that time too. Which of course bothers me, but I know I can't demand she not do so. I could just say "no contact", but that just seems like then I'm giving up the opportunities to be with her that she is asking for. We hold hands, hug, lay in each other's arms in front of the TV, kiss (though no passionately)... Do I just keep doing this, are any of the resources you mention more oriented about people who have stepped back toward friendship, and getting it moving forward to romance again? I've really had a hard time being with her, and showing independence, and "aloofness", or whatever would spark her into wanting more.

 

When the breakup occurred, I told myself I just wanted to see her again. When I saw her again, I told myself I just wanted it to ge regular. When I began seeing her regularly I told myself I just wanted to chance to date her. Now I am dating her, but I did not really think about other guys in the mix.

 

I've kind of rambled there. I'm just very confused as to what to do next. Keep dating, and keep being friends (I have developed friendships with her sons as well). Or 'no contact'. Or something in between...

 

Thank you.

[askdan]

That is a good question! Sometimes, different cases requires different strategies. I am not an expert, but what I would suggest, is that you let HER do the contact.

 

Let HER invite you to some events. And don't always accept. Be busy sometimes. I would find a way to make her chase YOU. Right now, you are giving her exactly what she wants, and that is not good.

 

You are giving her the security that she wants, like being there for her when she needs you, and she knows that she can have you back in a second while she is dating other guys. Maybe try to be a challenge a little bit?

 

It's really time that you become myserious again. Don't let her know where you are going, with who, etc. Don't let her know every detail of your life.

 

Hope this helps. I know it's a pain.

[NubianLove]

link removed seems really good, I like how they add the exercise part because if anything by looking good, you start feeling great about yourself, regardless of what does happen.

Anothing thing to consider is that your ex loved you, and just as its taking you a while to get over them, its also taking them a while. Though they might be tryin to justify theirs in other ways lke seeing other people, that shouldnt make u think they have stopped loving u.

My ex and I were best friends for 8yrs, and dated off and on for 6yrs and were extremely close, and sort of broke up in last few months, an error on my part had him extremely mad and called off our friendship completely a few days ago. Even though he swore off contacting me, he has called about 15x in 2days alone. I wish we had stuck to NC initially as it would have avoided the error, and not let me let my emotions get the best of me. Also reading this book as mad me realize a lot, arguing with him about if I was justified doing what I did is pointless, cause it happened. Considering the extent of our friendship, I feel that over time at the very least, we'll be able to salvage our friendship. It'll take some time but I know it'll be done sometime when we are both able to sit down and face each other, since we live in diff states.

While I know he loved me, and still does since its still pretty recent, I know he is also dating someone else, which even after reading link removed book isnt as bad, because we've traveled the orld, and done soo much and created so many memories in 8yrs, compared to the months he has known her. Even as recent as a week ag, he said he could never compare her to me, because it wouldnt be fair, as she just couldnt compare.

For now, I have a lot to work on, such as myself, and putting more time into myself. I also think I might be a little insecure due to things that happened over time in our relationship so I need to work on my self esteem and confidence too especially if I'm ever able to gain his trust to get our friendship back. Last time he saw me, which was a week ago b4 the incident, he had already noticed a difference, and said my face was glowing, and that I was in great shape, he's a big workout person. More than likely the time for a chance meeting between both of us will be at a mutual friend's wedding in 6 weeks. Our mutual friends and family are bound to get us talking again I wont be surprised if they set up a forced meeting...LOL Plus we'll be in the same area over the summer, so maybe we can meet up at some time for lunch or coffee.

 

Thanks for the list, I had Cucan Pemo's book and stop ur divorce now, and they both appear to be pretty good, especially Cucan's book. I think most books agree that self impovement is the key to helping urself past this stage.

[wilchild89]

Some of these links are great.

 

I started to use the techniques in Homer MacDonald's book and saw results very quickly.

 

The point is you have changed if she has gone off you after 6 months, one year , whatever length. You were a challenge. You were unpredictable. You were an enigma and now you have become boring or your arguments have made life uncomfortable. Homer recommends agreeing and this works very well as it is very disarming and whilst we never know if we you can save things it does work to get rid of the animosity very quickly.

 

Think of how differently you acted in the beginning or to attract her. There will be a difference if you think hard enough. Try and get back to this level. I noticed my girl was not able to really cut off contact with me and still wanted to be a part of my life etc. Whilst this may not be what you may want, if you cool things down but still see them then you can build up the attraction again and make youself seem like a trophy again as after a while in a relationship it's easy to think that you don't have to try anymore and the person will always love you but this isn't true. Good relationships with high value people always need to prove to each other that this is the best they could possible have. This is not a bad thing, it stops you being lazy and makes sure your personal goals extend far and wide.

[Jay_Bird]

so can ena

 

get a summary of what valid points yall have learn from these sites and books

 

 

I will tell you for one magic of making up

 

 

suggest no contact for a month

 

and during that month,getting yourself together and working out etc.

 

 

and then when it comes to contacting you ex,treat them as just friends and take things super slow

 

and do the complete opposite of what you did in the past

[Puo]

I sometimes wonder if I could've done anything different. Then I realize there's no point in it at this point.

[Mayday11]

The best way to get an ex back is to move on with your life and be happy with yourself. Really, that's it. While I haven't read any of these books, I'm sure they all boil down to that one simple sentence.

 

People fretting over whether they should acknowledge the ex's birthday or not, whether they should call an ex back or not, whether they acted correctly around their ex when they saw them at the bar, whether they went NC quick enough, whether they begged and pleaded too much, whether they said the right things, etc., are focusing too much on rather minor details. Move on, be happy and enjoy your life and the chances of your ex wanting to be a part of it again are improved significantly.

[Jay_Bird]

The best way to get an ex back is to move on with your life and be happy with yourself. Really, that's it. While I haven't read any of these books, I'm sure they all boil down to that one simple sentence.

 

People fretting over whether they should acknowledge the ex's birthday or not, whether they should call an ex back or not, whether they acted correctly around their ex when they saw them at the bar, whether they went NC quick enough, whether they begged and pleaded too much, whether they said the right things, etc., are focusing too much on rather minor details. Move on, be happy and enjoy your life and the chances of your ex wanting to be a part of it again are improved significantly.

 

I agree

 

the only to get them back....a good chance to get them back

 

is moving on

 

because while your in that stage where you still stressing over them

 

it really is no point in trying,cause the desperation will push them away,and they will know it

[civilservant]

If I didnt know better I'd say the OP was more an advertisment then anything else..

[digitaldiva]

Getting a man to come back to you and getting a woman to come back are two different tactics! Men don't respond well to cards, candy, flowers. It will flood his emotions.

 

A great e-book for WOMEN is How to Get HIM Back by Bob Grant

[Vyliss]

I agree about how tactics for men and women are slightly different. The more general books help... but a lot of ppl want specifics to their situation. When they read advice that is general, they will reject it consciously or subconsciously... it won't sink IN until they hear it a million times or something happens that makes it all click, for some ppl this doesn't hapen for months and months.

 

Anyway, if you're distaught and heartbroken, if someone just told you to move on and you'll get your ex back, that is first not belivable and also not entirely true. Lots of ppl move on and never get their ex back. Just like how it erks me when ppl say to attract the opposite sex you just need to be yourself... it's true but there's a whole lot of other variables that come into play too.

[rohded]

Could any one maybe email me the ebook from link removed I would pay for it, but I'm a poor college student...

[digitaldiva]

I agree

 

 

It really is no point in trying, because the desperation will push them away,and they will know it

 

 

That's what I needed to hear tonight. OMG....

[awakeintx]

I did the "one month magic of making up" strategy. It worked (she was willing to try again though).

 

However we have since had 2 more more painful breakups, the last one being the most painful and the one that brought me here. If I had known the breakups get more painful I would have stayed broken up. Problem is she never wanted to work on any of her problems. But at least I tried.

[digitaldiva]

If I had known the breakups get more painful I would have stayed broken up. Problem is she never wanted to work on any of her problems. But at least I tried.

 

 

I'm not sure why they get so much more painful, but they do. When my ex and I first broke up, I was devastated. But a week later I was working out, hanging out. He called for dinner. I felt confident and happy to see him. After I saw him, it all came crashing down. On the next date I asked to get back together. He said NO and I haven't been able to get myself back since.....

Of course I broke all "the rules".

[dreamguy]

To the OP, thanks for the links.

 

link removed AND link removed are excellent ways to put it. I hope everyone on this forum reads this and understands why most relationships / reconcilaitions often fail.

[rapunzel]

Just read the second link you posted....EXCELLENT. This is how we should all approach relationships and because we ARE human, we often make these typical mistakes he mentions.

 

This is why when someone breaks up with you, the best thing to do is AGREE with them. When one is NOT expecting a break up this is exceedingly hard to do. Yet I think one should always be prepared for the unexpected. I know the first time my ex put the brakes on, I agreed with him, told him I hoped he worked it out with his ex (who he was still mooning over, once she decided she was done for good with him) if that was what was going to make him happy - and lo and behold, I suddenly became more intriguing to him - merely because I was GIVING him his freedom. The dumper does not expect the dumpee to agree with him/her and it's an effective disarming technique. It gives the dumpee a lot of power in a situation where it would appear the dumpee had none.

 

Then to the last break up, I wasn't so good at it. After trying to collect my thoughts, which wasn't so easy after a couple drinks (and I'm still resentful that he did this after I had alcohol and did not have my wits about me) I tried to reason with him a bit (bad idea, always fails) then I showed with a couple sarcastic comments that I was hurt. Then I finally told him it was OK and gave him a few kisses on the cheek and while smiling and being calm, ushered him out the door. He then tried to kiss me on the lips, I gave him my cheek and that was that.

 

In retrospect I wish I had AGAIN agreed with him. I wish I had said, you know XXX, you're right, it's the best thing for us to stop being intimate and I thank you for bringing it up because I felt we should talk about this. I wish you the best and i hope you find whatever it is that will make you happy, whether that is reconciliation with your ex or whatever your heart desires. Alas, I was not prepared and I had had two drinks, thus did not say the things I had hoped I would say. Oh well...

 

We work together so it's an ongoing saga....I am still working on letting go and accepting and I try to make our interactions as positive, care-free as possible and not let on that I am emotionally affected. It's such a game but it's human nature. That said, I don't think I want him at this point, two tries is enough and he would have to come back with a huge mea culpa which I am NOT expecting.

 

I suggest everyone read this very helpful article. Thanks for posting dreamguy!

[CatsMeeoow]

I disagree ----

 

Yes there are some instances where agreeing with the break up can be a useful tactic but I feel that there are an equal number of times the person is going to go... oh she/he wasn't that into this anyway and just move forward not realizing what you truly meant to the other person.

 

And - R you thought it worked for you the first time and perhaps it did or did it? You were on the same road once again.

 

I think the best thing you can do during a break up is be yourself. Of course realize that anything you say in anger or in the heat of the moment is NEVER a good idea as you can quickly regret it as soon as the words fly out of your mouth. But, be who you are.

 

I suck at breakups... I hate not being in control... I tend to make my self and my feelings heard. Sure I probably need to learn to keep some of that emotion in check and realize that there is a time and place to say those things... and saying them over and over isn't helpful. But, I believe there is a guy who will love me and adore me for being a bit of nut sometimes... because 99% of the other times... I'm amazing!!!!!

[dreamguy]

I disagree ----

 

Yes there are some instances where agreeing with the break up can be a useful tactic but I feel that there are an equal number of times the person is going to go... oh she/he wasn't that into this anyway and just move forward not realizing what you truly meant to the other person.

 

If that's how the dumper reacts... by saying "oh she/he wasn't that into this anyway" and they move on then you don't want to be with them because nothing you could have said or done would have made a positive difference anyway.