RoxyGril Posted August 30, 2014 Share Posted August 30, 2014 Well, my bf's best friend (from high school), grandpa passed away yesterday. I have met the grandpa 1 time which was on 4th of July this year. I have a family gathering this coming Sunday (on my dad's side). Which I have known about this for about a week and 1/2 now and have decided to go. Today my bf calls me and tells me the funeral is the same day on Sunday. He is going and wanted to let me know and make the decision, on going to the funeral or my family get together. My bf said he won't be mad on whatever my decision would be. Now I am conflicted on what to do. Do I go in support of my bf's friend or do I go with the plans that I have originally made? I don't want to come off selfish or disrespectful. Advice would be helpful... Link to comment
Batya33 Posted August 30, 2014 Share Posted August 30, 2014 If he wants you to go to the funeral that should be your priority. I'm sure your family will have another get together. Why can't you do both? Link to comment
RoxyGril Posted August 30, 2014 Author Share Posted August 30, 2014 I would both if I could. But they are are the same time and different locations (at least an hour or so in driving distance). Link to comment
SooSad33 Posted August 30, 2014 Share Posted August 30, 2014 It's the grampa of your bf's friend? You have only met him once? I don't think you really need to make this a priority, as your BF is going, right? I would send a card and go to what you had planned already. It'd be different I think if it was your Bf's grandpa and you two had been together for a while, then i'd attend that one, if asked to accompany him. Link to comment
RoxyGril Posted August 30, 2014 Author Share Posted August 30, 2014 Yes, he is the grandpa of my bf's friend and met him once. My bf is going in support of his friend and I believe he may have met him before on a few occasions. That's what I was thinking in regards to being more of my bf's family and same in return for mine as well. spoke with my dad and he thought that if it was the dad or the mom (whom I know pretty well of the friend) then there would be a reason to go. But, if it was more extend family, then to give condolences. I just feel like I am being rude in a way for not going. Do I need to feel guilty about it? Is there a right or wrong if I don't go to this funeral? Link to comment
SooSad33 Posted August 30, 2014 Share Posted August 30, 2014 Don't feel guilty if you don't go. Your BF is going to support his buddy. You have family event to attend. and that's okay. Link to comment
catfeeder Posted August 30, 2014 Share Posted August 30, 2014 As long as your BF going to the funeral instead of your family gathering is not an issue, then you have no issue. Go see your family. Look up the funeral on the home's web site to see if the family lists a charity. If so, make a donation and send the family a sympathy card. If no charity is listed, send flowers or a food delivery. Link to comment
Batya33 Posted August 30, 2014 Share Posted August 30, 2014 It's the grampa of your bf's friend? You have only met him once? I don't think you really need to make this a priority, as your BF is going, right? I would send a card and go to what you had planned already. It'd be different I think if it was your Bf's grandpa and you two had been together for a while, then i'd attend that one, if asked to accompany him. I assumed your bf needed you there for support. If not then go to your family gathering and make a donation or send a card. Link to comment
treesandbees Posted August 30, 2014 Share Posted August 30, 2014 Ask your BF how important it is to him that you go with him, he does know you already had family plans so he knows you aren't making an excuse not to go, it is just a matter of timing. Link to comment
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