LoneGurl Posted August 29, 2014 Share Posted August 29, 2014 There is a guy I work with. He is a bit younger than me, but not too young. I have been crushing on him off and on for years, but recently we both have become single. Actually, he has been single for at least 6 months. Recently, I have not been able to get him out of my mind. I wonder if it's because he also feels the same about me. He has mentioned in passing that he has talked about me to his family. Not in a relationshipy way, but just some random thing. He also recently gave me a book. Again, it wasn't a relationship move, it was merely a book he thought I'd find interesting. Most recently, he asked me for a ride somewhere when his car was in the shop. We exchanged numbers at the time, in case of future needs for rides to work. He did text me to thank me for the ride that same night but hasn't text anything since. So I don't want to start texting when maybe it really was just for "future use". Whenever I see him at work I get super butterflies in my stomach. I've even had a few dreams about him. Probably because I think about him a lot. And when I think about him I get stirring in my heart. But, we've always been friendly at work and the place we work has a lot of snotty people and so it's possible, he just thinks of me as a friend. But I don't even know how to breach that line to ever find out. I mean, it could be uncomfortable to work with someone if they shoot you down.. lol... Also, we are two very very different people as far as interests and such. But I think that's one of the reasons most ppl like me is because I'm slightly different. But at the same time, I don't have the great esteem that people might perceive I have.. I know I'm pretty but I also know that I'm a little bigger than the skinny girl that most guys like... No, I'm not grossly overweight... but I'm not a skinny girl... I some times feel like he must like me, otherwise, I wouldn't have such strong thoughts about him. Do you believe that if you feel something in your heart and think about a person for no real reason that they must be feeling that way too? How on earth can I figure out if he likes me or not?? Link to comment
jul-els Posted August 29, 2014 Share Posted August 29, 2014 What you're describing is infatuation. It only exists in your mind. The only way to find out if he is interested in you is to wait and see if he shows interest, or for you to start showing interest in him. Otherwise it is only a construct of your mind. Seeing as he doesn't seem to be showing much interest, it would indicate he probably isn't interested. If you really want to know, ask him to lunch. Show him you're interested. See what happens. That's the only way to know for sure if you really want to know what he thinks of you. Link to comment
LoneGurl Posted August 29, 2014 Author Share Posted August 29, 2014 See I always thought that if a guy was into you he would do little things. Like giving me that book. Or out of all the ppl at work.. He asked me for a ride... And then when he said he was talking to his dad about me... Even though they weren't flirty moves.. I did start thinking of him a lot more since then. Idk I know the only sure way to know is if I just get bold and ask.. But what are some subtle ways to flirt.. Would leaving a quirky little gift to him be a way to flirt? Link to comment
chitown9 Posted August 29, 2014 Share Posted August 29, 2014 I would have asked him what he said to his Dad about you. Weren't you curious? I think his answer would be very telling. Link to comment
greta96 Posted August 29, 2014 Share Posted August 29, 2014 Do you believe that if you feel something in your heart and think about a person for no real reason that they must be feeling that way too? How on earth can I figure out if he likes me or not?? No, the fact that you think about him for no real reason and feel butterflies in your stomach when you see him doesn't mean he feels the same, one has absolutely nothing to do with the other. It only means that you have a crush on him. And the only way to figure out if he likes you is if he asks you out on a date. Anything less than that could mean he likes you as a pal, as a friend, but nothing more. He's single, nothing is stopping him, right? Unless he is against dating at the workplace, which would be totally understandable. Link to comment
HeartGoesOn Posted August 29, 2014 Share Posted August 29, 2014 According to your previous thread, you were still with your boyfriend of five years. I'm assuming that's over with? Link to comment
LoneGurl Posted August 29, 2014 Author Share Posted August 29, 2014 Yes. I left him soon after that post, but thank you for asking, i believe I mentioned I was recently single in my post. Link to comment
LoneGurl Posted August 29, 2014 Author Share Posted August 29, 2014 He did tell me.. but it was nothing that struck me as he was crushing on me. He was talking about a unique animal rescue I did... Link to comment
chitown9 Posted August 29, 2014 Share Posted August 29, 2014 He did tell me.. but it was nothing that struck me as he was crushing on me. He was talking about a unique animal rescue I did... I see....well, time is a wasting. He may be shy. I would look into any events that are going on in your town and ask him if he would like to join you. Nothing ventured, nothing gained. chi Link to comment
SooSad33 Posted August 29, 2014 Share Posted August 29, 2014 "I some times feel like he must like me, otherwise, I wouldn't have such strong thoughts about him. Do you believe that if you feel something in your heart and think about a person for no real reason that they must be feeling that way too?" - No. It can often be a 'crush'. And yes, it CAN be very awkward to date someone in your workplace, so, often it is said to not get involved with a co-worker for this reason. I feel he's is seeing you as a friend. And with you two being at the same place, maybe it's best not to try looking further into this? Link to comment
HeartGoesOn Posted August 30, 2014 Share Posted August 30, 2014 Yes. I left him soon after that post, but thank you for asking, i believe I mentioned I was recently single in my post. I misread that, my apologies. Link to comment
ParisPaulette Posted August 30, 2014 Share Posted August 30, 2014 So ask him out for coffee and see what he says. Yes, he's being nice to you, but that may be all it is. He likes you, he's happy to have someone at work to be friendly with, but I don't really read anything in his actions that describes him as wanting to date you. I also don't see anything that says he's doesn't, it's very neutral. You can wait, but what if he's doing the same thing? So ask him for coffee, see if he's interested or if he begs off or seems uncomfortable. If so you can say something like, "Relax, I just wanted to sit and have coffee and chat with a fellow employee." This lets him off the hook if he's worried he's led you on and you can still maintain your friendship. Now after that coffee if he still doesn't ask you out on a date you have your answer that he just does see you as a friend only. And you can move on forward and find someone else. And no, you feeling something has zero to do with whether they feel it too. Toss that idea in the trash with the crystal ball and psychic hotline. It won't help you and it's very misleading. You have a crush, but the only way you're really going to find out if there's more is to move it forward into the realm of action. That means ask him out to something then see if he asks you out and wants more or not. Good luck. Link to comment
missmarple Posted August 30, 2014 Share Posted August 30, 2014 I agree that you should ask him out and see what happens. Link to comment
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