Why is my ex so happy without me..

[onelifeonelove]

My ex dumped me about 2 weeks ago, because I've been pretty rude to her.. She said I needed to change and maybe one day we'll get back together. But a week after breakup she's talking to someone else already. She wanted to remain friends but I only talked to her as friends for a couple days before initiating NC.

 

Anyways, when I asked her how she was days after BU, she said she's doing great and that there's no more drama in her life. Says that it's nice to have someone who actually wants to talk to you (referring to the other guy). She went on bragging about him and how nice of a person he is..

 

But here's the thing. I still have her on Facebook (no I don't want to delete her), and her pics lately have been of her looking absolutely fine without me, unaffected by the BU whatsoever.

 

I don't know, I guess it hurts to know she's talking to someone else already and that she's happy without me.. The final days of talking to her after BU was all about how bad of a person I am. I'm not even as remotely bad, and treated her nicely just not all the time..

[faraday]

She most likely checked out of the relationship weeks before she broke up with you...so she probably is mostly okay. That she's rubbing her new guy in your face is a sign she's not completely over things with you...it sounds like she's mad and trying to make you jealous.

 

You should delete her on social media and block her on your phone...you need to go NC to heal.

[mhowe]

She associates you with rude behavior and drama. So --- getting that out of her life has dramatically reduced her stress and given her a feeling of freedom and

respect from others (him).,

[Cherry009]

If you were rude to her then it isn't a surprise she is happier without you. If you loved her you should have been nice to her all the time, not just some of the time.

[Edmund Exley]

Anyways, when I asked her how she was days after BU, she said she's doing great and that there's no more drama in her life. Says that it's nice to have someone who actually wants to talk to you (referring to the other guy). She went on bragging about him and how nice of a person he is..

 

You answered your own question. Time to move on and work on healing. To quote John Lennon - "This bird has flown"

[onelifeonelove]

She most likely checked out of the relationship weeks before she broke up with you...so she probably is mostly okay. That she's rubbing her new guy in your face is a sign she's not completely over things with you...it sounds like she's mad and trying to make you jealous.

 

You should delete her on social media and block her on your phone...you need to go NC to heal.

 

I honestly don't know if she checked out already before dumping me. If she did then why was she crying saying that she wants to be friends and maybe one day we'll get back together I don't know, she can't be completely over me because 3 weeks before BU we met in person (this is LDR) and had an amazing time together. She even cried when I left home.

 

She associates you with rude behavior and drama. So --- getting that out of her life has dramatically reduced her stress and given her a feeling of freedom and

respect from others (him).,

 

I was thinking that too..

 

If you were rude to her then it isn't a surprise she is happier without you. If you loved her you should have been nice to her all the time, not just some of the time.

 

I did love her, I love her so much. The distance somehow got to me and made me feel detached from her. I just wish I didn't act out so much. In person, I'm never rude to her, I'm caring and loving and all that.

 

You answered your own question. Time to move on and work on healing. To quote John Lennon - "This bird has flown"

 

Has the bird really flown completely.. I don't know, I want another chance with this girl. I wanna get back to my roots, the person she fell in love with, not the person she broke up with. I just want another chance, don't want this to be the end of it and definitely don't wanna move on..

[faraday]

She cried because she felt guilty. People that are in love and want to be together, don't break up and say "let's be friends" or "maybe we'll get back together one day." If someone wants to be with you...they don't break up.

 

And part of the break up process is mentally checking out of the relationship...or a person wouldn't be able to break up with someone. She was detached from you. Unless she broke up with you in a rage of anger...but then you need to assess whether you want to spend your life with someone that reacts to anger like that.

[onelifeonelove]

She cried because she felt guilty. People that are in love and want to be together, don't break up and say "let's be friends" or "maybe we'll get back together one day." If someone wants to be with you...they don't break up.

 

And part of the break up process is mentally checking out of the relationship...or a person wouldn't be able to break up with someone. She was detached from you. Unless she broke up with you in a rage of anger...but then you need to assess whether you want to spend your life with someone that reacts to anger like that.

 

I'm sure she was detached from me.. That's my fault for not giving her enough attention and love ): she kindly broke up with me.. I don't know, she obviously doesn't wanna be with me right now but I'm hoping that can change. Keeps saying I have a chance but I don't think she means it idk I'm pretty damn depressed still. First week was terrible. Second week not so bad, but I still wake up thinking about her and sleep thinking about her..

[freewill1234]

I've found that some people (actually a lot of people) can easily jump from one relationship to another no problem. I find it kinda strange that people can do this so easily. It sounds like maybe your EX-GF is one of these people who can do it. Block her on FB and go no contact. Maybe the bird will fly back but if she doesn't, you will heal faster and move on faster.

[Doc Blaze]

sometimes Love is just not enough....I remember when one of my exs broke up with me even though she broke up with me it was like a weight off my shoulder. I was able to be myself again. I wasnt walking on eggshells.. I was alwys worried that i was going to get my gf at the time mad at me for something. I felt like nothing i did was ever good enough. so when we broke up i actually kinda felt free and happy again. No stress no worries. I actually felt really good.

[Edmund Exley]

Has the bird really flown completely.. I don't know, I want another chance with this girl. I wanna get back to my roots, the person she fell in love with, not the person she broke up with. I just want another chance, don't want this to be the end of it and definitely don't wanna move on..

 

When a girl is telling you how much better life is without you and how much she likes another guy, she has flown. Do yourself a favor and accept it and have enough self respect to not sit and listen to her new life.

[SooSad33]

Good for you to go NC. You can't be friends with somone you still have feelings for.

 

"Anyways, when I asked her how she was days after BU, she said she's doing great and that there's no more drama in her life. Says that it's nice to have someone who actually wants to talk to you (referring to the other guy). She went on bragging about him and how nice of a person he is.."

- She's doing this to try and in ways, rub your face in it. ( bragging to guilt aspect). Ignore it all.

 

But don't be like her and run out to look for another partner so soon. She could end up using this guy as a rebound. Because she wasn't emotionally or mentally ready to date again, so soon.

 

Keeping her on your FB is up to you. But it can end up being more harmful than good. Do you prefer to be tormented by everything she is doing from her end?

Or would you much rather prefer a clean cut and leave it all behind you, so you can start to work on accepting & healing now?

 

You need time now, yourself to workon what caused the BU and improving so you don't have the same problem in your next relationship.

 

tc

[onelifeonelove]

I've found that some people (actually a lot of people) can easily jump from one relationship to another no problem. I find it kinda strange that people can do this so easily. It sounds like maybe your EX-GF is one of these people who can do it. Block her on FB and go no contact. Maybe the bird will fly back but if she doesn't, you will heal faster and move on faster.

 

Supposedly she isn't gonna date until after school is over.. I feel like me and her have something really special, but I let distance be the end of us.. If we ever reconcile, that's gonna change. I love this girl with all my heart, but I failed to prove it to her. There's no way she can be over me completely..

 

sometimes Love is just not enough....I remember when one of my exs broke up with me even though she broke up with me it was like a weight off my shoulder. I was able to be myself again. I wasnt walking on eggshells.. I was alwys worried that i was going to get my gf at the time mad at me for something. I felt like nothing i did was ever good enough. so when we broke up i actually kinda felt free and happy again. No stress no worries. I actually felt really good.

 

You felt good the rest of the time after? Or for a short while? You had to have at least missed your ex no? I'm certain my ex misses me and I obviously miss her very much. I did so much to prove my love to her, but recently stopped and that led to this break up. I've learned so many things about myself and what person I was to her, because of the break up. I feel like I can apply this lesson learned to our reconciliation, if it's even remotely possible.

 

Going No Contact has helped me and is helping me currently, but what if she completely forgets about me?.. I feel like doing the typical 30 day NC and then break it off if the ex doesn't break it after the 30 day period. Not sure on what to do. I miss her, and I keep dreaming about her..

[onelifeonelove]

When a girl is telling you how much better life is without you and how much she likes another guy, she has flown. Do yourself a favor and accept it and have enough self respect to not sit and listen to her new life.

 

I didn't sit and listen to the new life, I went NC. I wasn't gonna be her shoulder to lean on.. I think she's moving really fast with this guy, hinting towards a rebound. She's an insecure person and is depressed so she needed someone to talk to to fill in my void. Hopefully that guy gets tired of her..

 

Good for you to go NC. You can't be friends with somone you still have feelings for.

 

"Anyways, when I asked her how she was days after BU, she said she's doing great and that there's no more drama in her life. Says that it's nice to have someone who actually wants to talk to you (referring to the other guy). She went on bragging about him and how nice of a person he is.."

- She's doing this to try and in ways, rub your face in it. ( bragging to guilt aspect). Ignore it all.

 

But don't be like her and run out to look for another partner so soon. She could end up using this guy as a rebound. Because she wasn't emotionally or mentally ready to date again, so soon.

 

Keeping her on your FB is up to you. But it can end up being more harmful than good. Do you prefer to be tormented by everything she is doing from her end?

Or would you much rather prefer a clean cut and leave it all behind you, so you can start to work on accepting & healing now?

 

You need time now, yourself to workon what caused the BU and improving so you don't have the same problem in your next relationship.

 

tc

 

I'm not gonna be like her and find someone so soon. I'm working on myself during this period of NC. This girl is definitely on the rebound, no way did she just break it off and check out of the relationship so soon. Like I said, things were going good. 2 weeks of me being the meanest I've ever been, has set her off. But I promised to change and I actually did and am currently changing myself for the better.

 

Just hope she sees the new me if I do contact her. Or I should say, the old me, the guy she once first fell in love with..

[DancingFool]

Being mean and acting out can do massive and extreme damage to a relationship fast. Please do not kid yourself and try to sweep that under the rug or minimize it. Face it, own it and most importantly take away an important lesson from that. Dumping someone who was being nasty to you IS relief. It's like a dark cloud just lifted from her head. She is indeed happy without you bringing her down.

[Edmund Exley]

I didn't sit and listen to the new life, I went NC. I wasn't gonna be her shoulder to lean on.. I think she's moving really fast with this guy, hinting towards a rebound. She's an insecure person and is depressed so she needed someone to talk to to fill in my void. Hopefully that guy gets tired of her..

 

PLEASE do not fall in to the mindset of making excuses why she is just "going to fast so its a rebound". I did that once. They are still married. Glad I didn't wait that out.

 

She didn't just check out. She has been checking out for a long time. Hence the comment about drama. 2 weeks of being mean does not drama make.

 

Often when you split from someone they turn into someone you wouldn't even recognize. There is a reason for that.

 

But I can see your hell bent on going the route of putting off healing and moving on. The denial is all over this thread. I feel for you.

[onelifeonelove]

Being mean and acting out can do massive and extreme damage to a relationship fast. Please do not kid yourself and try to sweep that under the rug or minimize it. Face it, own it and most importantly take away an important lesson from that. Dumping someone who was being nasty to you IS relief. It's like a dark cloud just lifted from her head. She is indeed happy without you bringing her down.

 

There's many times I've made her happy though I wasn't always cold /: I guess she just grew tired of it all. I don't know, maybe she'll realize soon that I'm not too bad of a person. All she talked about was the negatives. Not one bit about me being there for her and whatnot, was mentioned..

 

And I did realize it, just realized it too late.

 

PLEASE do not fall in to the mindset of making excuses why she is just "going to fast so its a rebound". I did that once. They are still married. Glad I didn't wait that out.

 

She didn't just check out. She has been checking out for a long time. Hence the comment about drama. 2 weeks of being mean does not drama make.

 

Often when you split from someone they turn into someone you wouldn't even recognize. There is a reason for that.

 

But I can see your hell bent on going the route of putting off healing and moving on. The denial is all over this thread. I feel for you.

 

Yeah, my world just came crashing down in flames. Maybe one day I'll move on but that won't be for a really long time.. I still wanna check up on her when I'm comfortable. I'd still be her friend, even if it hurts me.

[Edmund Exley]

Yeah, my world just came crashing down in flames. Maybe one day I'll move on but that won't be for a really long time.. I still wanna check up on her when I'm comfortable. I'd still be her friend, even if it hurts me.

 

Why would you do something that hurts? Here's what usually happens in this situation. You hang around. She dates a guy, breaks up YOUR HOPE RENEWS. She may even keep in touch with you here and there because she needs attention but then a new guy shows on the scene and your texts are unreturned. They date, you tell yourself its just ANOTHER rebound. They break up and YOUR HOPE RENEWS. Then she finally meets the one, you are now a inconvenience to her new relationship and she becomes the one to be mean and nasty, and you're left wishing you had listened to what you were told on eNotalone a year before.

[faraday]

Why would you do something that hurts? Here's what usually happens in this situation. You hang around. She dates a guy, breaks up YOUR HOPE RENEWS. She may even keep in touch with you here and there because she needs attention but then a new guy shows on the scene and your texts are unreturned. They date, you tell yourself its just ANOTHER rebound. They break up and YOUR HOPE RENEWS. Then she finally meets the one, you are now a inconvenience to her new relationship and she becomes the one to been mean and nasty, and you're left wishing you had listened to what you were told on eNotalone a year before.

 

It seems to happen frequently enough, unfortunately

 

You articulate it a lot nicer than I do Good post EE!

[onelifeonelove]

Why would you do something that hurts? Here's what usually happens in this situation. You hang around. She dates a guy, breaks up YOUR HOPE RENEWS. She may even keep in touch with you here and there because she needs attention but then a new guy shows on the scene and your texts are unreturned. They date, you tell yourself its just ANOTHER rebound. They break up and YOUR HOPE RENEWS. Then she finally meets the one, you are now a inconvenience to her new relationship and she becomes the one to be mean and nasty, and you're left wishing you had listened to what you were told on eNotalone a year before.

 

Sounds to be true, though, I wouldn't know myself. Never loved a girl this much I guess that's why I'm feeling this way for the first time. But what if, I just want to be friends? She's still important to me, I can't see myself leaving her out of my life completely. Obviously at this moment, I have feelings for her, but maybe that'll subside when I find that she's completely moved on. I'll still always care about her as a person though. Everyone I tell that to, tells me that I shouldn't be her friend and move on entirely.

 

She hasn't dated anyone yet because of "school". I'll see what happens within the next 23 days..

[Edmund Exley]

Sounds to be true, though, I wouldn't know myself. Never loved a girl this much I guess that's why I'm feeling this way for the first time. But what if, I just want to be friends? She's still important to me, I can't see myself leaving her out of my life completely. Obviously at this moment, I have feelings for her, but maybe that'll subside when I find that she's completely moved on. I'll still always care about her as a person though. Everyone I tell that to, tells me that I shouldn't be her friend and move on entirely.

 

 

She hasn't dated anyone yet because of "school". I'll see what happens within the next 23 days..

If you loved her so much, why so nasty and mean? I'm sorry this was more than recent behavior.

 

What if she moves on and doesnt want you in HER life? You have to accept that she has choices too.

[Ms Darcy]

She's happier without you because she was unhappy with you. She removed what she felt was making her unhappy and there you go.

 

I think you should stop monitoring her social media. It's not going to help you move on.

[onelifeonelove]

If you loved her so much, why so nasty and mean? I'm sorry this was more than recent behavior.

 

What if she moves on and doesnt want you in HER life? You have to accept that she has choices too.

 

Like I've said, I think it's the distance that made me feel so far apart from her that I just didn't wanna do anything with her but text. The rude part I'm not sure why the hell I was always arguing with her.. I don't know if she wants me out of her life completely.. All I know is I don't want her out of my life completely, I'd stay friends with her I don't care, as ignorant as I sound, I don't care. When we stayed friends for a bit she did wanna talk a lot idk.

 

She's happier without you because she was unhappy with you. She removed what she felt was making her unhappy and there you go.

 

I think you should stop monitoring her social media. It's not going to help you move on.

 

I rarely monitor it but it's hard to completely stop. Like I've said also, I made her happy too at many points, it was just my unnecessary arguing and lack of spending time /: I regret it all, I don't want to move on without her in my life. I really wanna contact her in like the 5-6th week of NC and see how she's doing. I know she still loves me..

 

I think this thread is lacking information because everyone's response is a bit different compared to my other thread. I made separate ones because they're separate points.