Feeling strangely better. Could be Zoloft, or week traveling with a better guy.

[ladydayblues]

*I do not want this post to influence anyone to run out and take antidepressants after a breakup -- this is simply what is working for me right now but not necessarily what would work for others. Antidepressants seriously alter your brain chemistry and can cause side effects and shouldn't be taken lightly*

 

Only about 2 months out of being dumped from a 3 year relationship, I'm feeling oddly ok. I say it's odd because last time my heart was broken, I was in a highly depressive state for at least 1.5 years, so it seems unreal that I would feel "alright" so early on. This good feeling has maintained itself for about a week now, however prior to that I was completely devastated, waking up every morning sobbing, thinking about what I did wrong and how I contributed to the relationship's downfall.

 

My therapist put me on Zoloft because I had been spiraling so much into negativity, beating up myself, and not functioning that well in my every day life. I was very hesitant to take it as I believe in natural remedies and it took me a while to finally decide on it. However my depression was so bad, I finally decided to take it to see if it could lift me out of the spiral enough to get me standing again. Now on the medication, I find that my mood is elevated - that I'm distanced from the highly negative feelings. Part of me is afraid that it might be keeping me from healthily processing the emotions. However in another sense, the emotional distancing allows me to be able to think about the relationship as it really was without depression getting in the way - and able to analyze it and learn from it from a more objective perspective.

 

There are a number of other factors that might have contributed to making me feel better in combination with the meds. Prayer, friends, family, two different therapies, enotalone and self help books have all been incredibly helpful. Also, this time around I decided to actively take part in moving on as opposed to waiting for it to happen.

 

Additionally, I took a week vacation with a long distance friend of mine who I think is a better fit for me than my ex - it was refreshing to be around someone with whom I connect better than him. It made me think that yes, there is a possibility of finding someone better out there for me some day. Somehow this really helped me move on, and realize I should not go back to my ex again as much as I love him because we had so many fundamental differences that would never align. I am not looking to start something new with anyone for a while though - now is the time to build myself up and be secure in myself.

 

I realize and anticipate that this feeling of "ok" could disappear at any moment (especially if I go off the medication, which I do not intend to be on very long term). I realize this could also just be an "up" point in the grieving cycle that happens to be lasting for a while. However, I'm enjoying this normalcy while it lasts...

 

I wonder if anyone else here has taken antidepressants and whether they have hurt or hindered the healing process...

[faraday]

I took Wellbutrin for about 4 months after a break up....they helped me climb out of the hole I was in and restart my life. When things started working for me, I went off them. But I made huge changes in my life...that break up was a major catalyst for me...from a year ago, my life is completely different. Yours will be too.

 

While I agree, probably too soon to be dating, it is refreshing when you meet someone that you just get along with...it does give hope that there's something better, hey?

 

Are you no contact with your ex? Thats the best way to heal. No social media, no random texts...nothing.

 

 

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[ladydayblues]

I took Wellbutrin for about 4 months after a break up....they helped me climb out of the hole I was in and restart my life. When things started working for me, I went off them. But I made huge changes in my life...that break up was a major catalyst for me...from a year ago, my life is completely different. Yours will be too.

 

While I agree, probably too soon to be dating, it is refreshing when you meet someone that you just get along with...it does give hope that there's something better, hey?

 

Are you no contact with your ex? Thats the best way to heal. No social media, no random texts...nothing.

 

I'm glad to hear that you were able to change your life for the better after your breakup. So would you say that you are glad that your breakup happened?

 

Definitely went no contact with the ex almost immediately after he broke it up. It was hard and there were many times I wanted to reach out to him, but I'm glad that I haven't. My friends have been very good at helping me fill the time. Therapy and podcasts and self help books really help to build my sense of self again. It hope to get my life in line like you have and go off the meds eventually.

[faraday]

Him and I breaking up was the best thing that ever happened to me. I wish we had stopped the getting back together and breaking up cycle 2 years ago.

 

Since him and I broke up I closed down a business, went back to school and opened a new one. I started dating 4 months post break up...met the guy I'm with a month later (we've been together 5 months)...and I feel lucky to know this guy...he's just good people.

 

I didn't do as much with my friends post break up. I did things I wanted, signed up for courses, went to the gym, read...you control your happiness. So make your life whatever you want it to be. If you want to spend time with people and your friends aren't available...go make new friends

 

Keep up the no contact. It gets better. Just keep sight of what you want in your life and make strides daily to get there.

 

 

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