Online dating. POST YOUR EXPERIENCES HERE.

[deadmareish]

I am brand new to the dating game. Having broken up with long term boyfriend just months ago, and then after following him around like a lost puppy, I have never in 22 years ever been on 'Dates.'

 

Working full time - 5 days a week, having literally no single friends and living in a small town - I find it hard to meet new people. The only time I could possibly meet some one is out painting the town red. However, being 22 now I think in my perspective I am too old to hit the town, make out with a bunch of guys or to take one home. That's fine when you turn 18 and it's all a new experience and you're living your life. But I've done all that! I also think guys you meet out in town are only out for one thing. I have only once seen a relationship come from two people meeting on a night out. so I am considering doing the online dating thing.

 

In all honesty the online dating thing never appealed to me. I find it a long uncomfortable process. Plus from what I've heard most of the type of people that use these things are below standards. I have met someone through the dating app 'Tinder' and he's a cool guy, only nothing more has come out of it and we're really just pen pals rather then it leading anywhere.

 

I also find it extreme effort to faff around making a profile just for people to only really judge you on your picture anyway!

Having been in a long term relationship I realise I don't want to go back to the one night hook ups / losers messaging me all the time.

I'm not saying I need a relationship straight away, but it would be nice to find someone that I am sure I can work towards something.

 

I made this thread because I thought it would be fun to post experiences of online dating/dating. Good or bad. The fun dates, the lame dates, the best dates and the worse dates!

 

Has anyone ever had a successful relationship through online dating?

If so how long, are you still together or do most of them just fizzle out without nothing?

 

I look forward to hearing your experiences! Please share, I and I'm sure some others could use a good laugh or some hope!

[sleepingdonut]

Yes, 22 is much too old to go out and hit the town. You don't want to worry about trying to navigate through a club with your walker or forget to take your arthritis medication when everyone around you is dancing. And on the off chance you do go home with a guy, what are the chances he'll have Efferdent lying around so you can remove and soak your teeth? I agree that your best bet is to stay home and try online dating. Perhaps link removed or link removed would be two dating sites to try for someone your age.

 

For me personally, I can say I have had some luck with online dating in the past, but that was a long time ago. Recently, I haven't had any. But compared to you, I am older than the universe so there are very few beings still around that remember what things were like before the big bang. It's hard to be nostalgic with anyone else, now.

[deadmareish]

Yes, 22 is much too old to go out and hit the town. You don't want to worry about trying to navigate through a club with your walker or forget to take your arthritis medication when everyone around you is dancing. And on the off chance you do go home with a guy, what are the chances he'll have Efferdent lying around so you can remove and soak your teeth? I agree that your best bet is to stay home and try online dating. Perhaps link removed or link removed would be two dating sites to try for someone your age.

 

Hahahahaha! I never said it was too old to go hit the town, I said I felt too old to spend the night making out with strangers and taking them home!

Don't you think though? I feel silly surrounded by 18 years olds sucking face and I'm 4 years older doing the same thing!

I can tell that 22 is a bit past it to be doing that, because everyone around me is so much younger. Jail bait feast.

 

Plus it's boring. You don't get anything out of it really

 

Sitting at home with a bottle of wine crying over someone who hasn't messaged me back on POF... Now that sounds way more fun!

 

Thanks for the giggles though!

[Verysad30]

Hi there! Im in the same boat! Although i am older at 30, but all my mates are pretty much married and i also agree that meeting someone on a night out can be a bit unfullfilling! I broke up with my ex a year ago now, but im still hurting and havent been on a date at all so far this year. But cant keep on moping forever eh! I joined POF today but its weird isnt it! Speaking to strangers and not really having much of a clue about their personality seems daunting! How are you finding it so far? i would be intrigued to hear other's stories of internet dating too! Not sure if its really got any potential or not!

[deadmareish]

Hi there! Im in the same boat! Although i am older at 30, but all my mates are pretty much married and i also agree that meeting someone on a night out can be a bit unfullfilling! I broke up with my ex a year ago now, but im still hurting and havent been on a date at all so far this year. But cant keep on moping forever eh! I joined POF today but its weird isnt it! Speaking to strangers and not really having much of a clue about their personality seems daunting! How are you finding it so far? i would be intrigued to hear other's stories of internet dating too! Not sure if its really got any potential or not!

 

Hello!

 

It takes a while to get over an ex I know! I'm really pushing myself into this dating thing in order to help get over him quicker!

 

I have made a POF account, but have yet to post pictures / take it seriously! Most of the guys on there - ick.

A lot of them are way below my standards or they aren't interesting in anything more then 'fun' ... It's like ERRRRR HELLO, what are you even on here for then?! It's a DATING site.

Honestly, I find it really easy to talk to people over message if they seem generally interested in me. But it's when the date come along... It's always really awkward. I feel like I'm trying to fill the silence up with gibberish! ...

Though I've only had one date! lol

Men, seriously they are like foreign to me! I hope you have some luck, you sound like you deserve it!

 

Right now online dating is a thumbs down for me. But everyone seems to be doing it and what other options are there?!

 

 

[Jeffbobo]

Hell, I'm 45 and love mak'n out. I guess some things you never grow out of. Lol!

[MisUnderstood9]

I find it kind of humerous that you think that a 22 you are "too old". I wish I could of had a life at 22 like everyone else around me was but instead I was a mom, college student, girlfriend and a business women at 22, while all my friends were out clubing and "having fun".

 

Be 22, there is no reason why you cant find a nice guy without a dating site at 22. Join a gym, a hobby club at a college -- follow your dreams instead of searching online at 22 for a man, life isnt about being in a relationship. If you're still single at 30, than join a dating site, at 22 all you're going to find are men looking for hook ups or creepy old dudes trying to hit on you.

[Verysad30]

Oh yeah i totally agree, i havent seen any guys on there who look like they are someone i would want to date! But yes everyone seems to go on there so it doesnt hurt to be curious i guess! I am already thinking about deleting my profile though lol! Its soo tricky trying to meet new people isnt it! And gosh i dont even want to think about the actual "date" itself, thats a scary thought! Im too out of practice! And you get a lot of stupid messages on there, one day and im already finding it annoying! Doh! I did look on link removed, but noticed that all the people on there were also on POF, so wasnt worth being on both! I hope you manage to have some luck too, fingers crossed we eventually meet some nice guys! x

[John John]

Hoy boy, this thread again...

 

I have many, many stories, but I'm swamped at work, so I'll leave you guys with this...I once almost ended up on a date with a tranny. Yup.

 

Will add more later.

[deadmareish]

I find it kind of humerous that you think that a 22 you are "too old". I wish I could of had a life at 22 like everyone else around me was but instead I was a mom, college student, girlfriend and a business women at 22, while all my friends were out clubing and "having fun".

 

Be 22, there is no reason why you cant find a nice guy without a dating site at 22. Join a gym, a hobby club at a college -- follow your dreams instead of searching online at 22 for a man, life isnt about being in a relationship. If you're still single at 30, than join a dating site, at 22 all you're going to find are men looking for hook ups or creepy old dudes trying to hit on you.

 

It's interesting how some people think. Maybe it's the culture I've grown up in or maybe it's all because my friends are in relationships but a lot of people are telling my I'm too old to be doing that sort of thing now.

I feel I had my 'having fun' stage at 17, 18 and 19 and now I find that life style boring.

 

I'm a business women, I work 37 - 40 hours a week. This is why I find it difficult to meet new people and go new places. I feel so many people are doing the online thing now - that they aren't intrested in meeting anyone the 'normal' way. lol.

 

No life isn't about being in relationships, and that's not what I necessarily want... But I want to meet new people without it just being a ships passing in the night situation, which in reality and in this age is really rare. It's not just the guys though, it seems everyone is more interested in how many guys / girls they can sleep with rather then just meeting some one nice, giving them a chance to get to know them and seeing where it might lead.

[deadmareish]

Hoy boy, this thread again...

 

I have many, many stories, but I'm swamped at work, so I'll leave you guys with this...I once almost ended up on a date with a tranny. Yup.

 

Will add more later.

 

NO WAY! You have to tell us this story now!

[IAmFCA]

On line experiences in bullet point form:

 

(1) 1 - 2 years shopping on line, figuring out how it works, exchanging emails, maybe sometimes meeting people once, maybe never. Can't remember. This is c. 2009/2010. Just needed to get my feet wet after 15+ years.

 

(2) Get a handle on how it works. Have several sexually charged "relationships" that were - um - engaging but also based on half-truths and carried out by damaged people (including myself). These ended as easily as they began.

 

(3) Get a better handle on what I am looking for. Date casually while also dating someone I met in person. Enter into 1 - 2 years of OBVIOUS MISSES but I couldn't see it. OMG some of the dating stories were just hysterical. Men seemed to make sure I knew they had money and gave thorough sexual services, if only I would commit to them. Huh?

 

(4) FINALLY hone my screening skills, believe in myself enough to pursue only what I want and nothing else, and enjoy/endure 6+ months of almost no dating action at all. Get something going with a man that lasts 1.5 years, te last 6 - 7 of which are steady 1/week dates. He is a gentleman, not at all my match I see now, and has serious intimacy-avoidance issues. In fact, nearly everyone I met on line was avoiding intimacy one way or another.

 

(5) Have fallen flat on my face in like for a man I met in person. On line dating had already become boring. Still getting emails weekly from men on sites where my profile remains. I thought I hid it everywhere; too lazy to log back on to take it down. Who cares. I never respond to anyone, have no desire to.

 

(6) Man I met in person: perfect match in truth and on paper. Is on same sites. Never came up in the search engine. Really? What is up with that?

 

Funny stories, oh they are LEGION. The man who was offended because I didn't invite him by date #3, the man who was a total racist sexist homophobe and couldn't even tell that I was being condescending the whole time, the man who bought me a ring after I ended it, the several men who concluded I was the one within only several dates.... it just goes on. We don't know these people, yet some expect to progress as quickly as if we met through mutual friends etc. Um, no.

[John John]

NO WAY! You have to tell us this story now!

 

LOL. This took place via POF (which is by far the bottom of the barrel for all dating sites, in my humble opinion). I wanted a hookup. I saw what I thought was a woman, who was very attractive, and hit her up. We started flirting heavily via text. Suffice it to say, while I received "pictures" (trying to stay PG-13), I never saw pictures of the "goods." Eventually I may have pushed Denise/Denis to the point where he/she flat out say "I used to be a dude, MCJD. But I'm happy to give you the girlfriend experience." Then, he/she showed me a picture of a married man "doing stuff" to her (I could see his hand, his wedding ring, and well yeah). I got very angry, and he/she said "didn't you look at my pictures?" Well, of course I did...but upon further inspection, this chick had bigger back muscles than me!!! And it did strike me weird that 5'9" (a little taller than me) is tall for a "girl"...

 

So yeah. More stories later!

[deadmareish]

Wow, that's one hell of an experience!

I'm glad that you finally found someone though!

 

I think you've just put me off forever! Maybe i'll buy a cat instead

 

At least you have some great stories to tell! I always find that quite rewarding

 

I agree, some of these guys expectations!

One guy asked me to go round his house for a take away, FOR THE FIRST DATE.

Then each time he persisted on his place, who do these guys think we are!

 

I tell you romance is dead.

[deadmareish]

OMG! That is SO funny!

Aw man, I kind of feel bad for you!

 

If you have stories better then that, I can't wait to hear them!

 

Hahahahahahaha

[IAmFCA]

This male-to-female surprise also happened to my wingman. He was shocked!

 

I have empathy for folks who have fully transitioned, but retain birth parts. Dating must be very difficult.

[IAmFCA]

To the romance is dead observation.... I believe men would disagree. I went to dinner, wine bars, theater...

 

The crazy experiences made me accept a sexually bland match who was neither as worldly nor as dynamic as I, but he has manners. That is really his only value-add - manners. And this guy, when I ended it, became passive aggressive. I don't even think he realizes it himself. For example, he just sent me three emails with pics on it of a concert he went to last weekend: a concert that I couldn't go to because he kept the tickets -- even though he didn't much care to go in the first place, and the artist is one of my faves. I refused to go as his date. He sent me three videos of the show, and tried to belittle the main artist to someone else like he is all up on the music scene, which he isn't. As if it were nice to share with me anyway, since he is the one that blocked me from attending. Whatever!!

 

Or the guy who - after three dates - was on my phone for like 30 minutes trying to understand how I wasn't falling in love with him already. Like I had pierced him through his heart irreparably. This man is on the board of a prominent company, already has two houses, meetings at the White House, I guess I was just supposed to fall in line? He is an ass. I would never. And now he is whining to me? He never so much as got past my security guard. WHATEVER again.

 

Or the guy who, when we were ready to leave, said "Why don't you hop over to the bar and get our tab. Here is my card, you can pay with this." He just was too lazy to get up off his bar chair and walk over to the tender himself. I guess I was supposed to be a good little woman and serve my man. So I did. Never saw him again.

 

Or the man who came over to take me to dinner, passed every restaurant in my neighborhood, then walked me back home and asked "Do you have anything in your kitchen to eat? I'm starving."

 

I just did not find a lot of manners out there. Oh, the easy ones, open my door etc. But real ones, not so much.

[reinventmyself]

I am direct and honest by nature but I admit to shaving a couple years off of my profile 3 to be exact, oh my!

If I don't do so and men typically search by round numbers I am bumped into an older demographic and being hit up by men that look like my dad!

Figure in by nature men typically want someone younger. . I get that.

The same men that in person that will chase me around the supermarket wouldn't give me the time of day online if I state my real age.

Mind you I am not in search of a younger man. . I would be happy with one my own age and up to 5or6 years older. Not too much to ask for.

I think because there is so much false advertising (and I am perpetuation the problem) we naturally assume that someone will not look or be anything like their profiles. One man even told me to change my age because most men automatically will add 5 years and 20 lbs to your profile and have lowered expectations when they meet you.

I am not condoning this. . mind you. . but it is what it is. I look younger than my age and I have been told I look better in person. I immediately tell them my age when me meet and no ones been upset. . .yet.

Yah. . I'll probably get a lot of feedback on this subject but I think it's work discussing!

[hodgeheg]

I can relate to where you're coming from and, as a 22 year old professional woman, I get your feelings towards going out on the town. It is fun, and I don't think we're even remotely too old to be dancing and drinking, but I never found any suitable guys that way either. Flings, one night stands and casual sex were available in abundance. But when I went out partying I didn't exactly give the impression of a girl you'd take home to mother and so I never met anyone who wanted an LTR (with me anyway).

 

I did however have more success online dating (specifically PoF). It turns out my screening was much better sober! I met around 10 guys through PoF and none of them were completely bonkers like the stories you hear. Sure, one wasn't over his ex, a couple were a bit OTT or clingy for me and one definitely only wanted casual sex, but they just weren't right for me - they weren't bad people!

 

Anyway, about 6 months ago (after a year of being on and off PoF) I did meet up with a man from there was turned out to be pretty right for me. As long as you take the process with a pinch of salt and don't become jaded, I found dating to be really enjoyable and the online sites just make it easier to meet people.

 

Good luck!

[reinventmyself]

I did meet a man once. . I call first meetings meet&greets. . I don't refer to them as dates until each other has had a face to face and agree to make a`date'' to go out again. After a glass of wine he asked if I would go out again, but on one condition, that I take down my profile. I didn't agree but I did tell him I am not a sport dater, have no desire to, nor do I have the time to date more than one person at a time. I got home and felt uneasy. I was afraid to log on and wondering what if anything I just agreed to. Was I going steady with this guy I just spent 90 min's with?

Suffice to say I didn't go out with him again.

[happy_snapper]

Been trying it for a couple of months.

I met a girl very soon after joining POF. She's very nice, we have a lot in common and we like each other... it took us 3 dates to realise that neither of us are actually attracted to the other. We were having fun, but something quite vital was missing. More of a brother-sister vibe. We see each other as friends every now and then...

 

That's my greatest online dating success story. By a long way.

 

All my other OLD stories are the same: We exchanged 1-or-2 messages. She stopped responding.

 

It isn't really a lot of fun to be honest. I had this impression that I'd actually be dating.

[sleepingdonut]

It isn't really a lot of fun to be honest. I had this impression that I'd actually be dating.

 

Lol. And this sums up the online dating experience for most men. The male/female ratio is way off, and I'm not sure that will ever change.

[John John]

Lol. And this sums up the online dating experience for most men. The male/female ratio is way off, and I'm not sure that will ever change.

 

I know people will try to refute this by reminding us of all the creepy emails they get (and I know this is true), but online dating is heavily skewed in womens' favor. I think it's a combination of more men being on these sites (like you said), but also that men are simply approaching them (as in real life). So, they often have the luxury of just sitting back and responding to emails. Funny thing for me is that most of the women I've dated from OLD have either winked/reached out to me first. I can only think of handful of girls that I really liked that I reached out to and actually heard back.

 

As online dating becomes more and more the norm, I feel like it (and dating in general) will only get worse. I feel like it's inflating everyone's standards (men and women), though perhaps moreso for women since they're getting more emails on average. Not trying to turn this into a "women have it easier" discussion, both men and women have to go through a ton of sh*t to find a good partner. But dating in and of itself (especially OLD) I would argue is easier (certainly cheaper, if you're like me and almost always pay the entire first date) for them, on average.

 

So when I'm back in "let's find MCJD a gf" mode, OLD will only be a supplement to real-life encounters.

[PetiteGirl]

Oh fun! I have had a few encounters through online dating.

 

1 - The guy who wanted me to come over to his place when we haven't even met in person. I rejected him. He got mad and accused me of playing games. Of course I ignored him when he messaged me again a week later like nothing ever happened. Talk about a great catch.

 

2 - I'm in my twenties and I look way younger than my age, and I have guys that are older than my dad interested in me. Then again, that also happened offline too. When you're doing online dating, expect to filter a lot of people. It will be like a checklist of NOPE's. Sexist? Filter. Racist? Filter away. Can't take no for an answer? Serious anger issue? Oedipus complex? Filter. Filter. Filter.

 

3 - This is probably rare, but I was dating a guy who turned out to have fetish for being an infant, wearing diapers and all. Oh the pictures he sent me...and the way he cried when things didn't go his way. So much boo boos in that relationship that it was short-lived.

 

4 - I also met a guy who turned out to be married when it was stated in his profile that he's single. I got caught in their battles, got stalked by his (ex-ish?)wife for a few weeks, and eventually I finally got away. Argh.

 

5 - And finally, a guy with, what I thought at first, a typical, absolutely down to earth and nothing-fancy, but with a slight goofy charm profile messaged me. It turned into a steady friendship that turned romantic. This guy makes me laugh and brings me a lot of comfort, peace, fun and happiness. He's part of my inspiration on my already on-going quest to becoming a better person. He constantly shows that he cares by reaching out to me everyday, in the morning, in the evening, and whenever in between, and always there, with great emotional strength and maturity when things are going bad. I've had my share of abusive relationships so it took me a lot of soul searching to finally choose a healthy partner who sees me as his equal and treats me very well. Now we just need to find the best sushi bar in our state....

 

So, there's hope! Online dating is a way to connect with a lot of different people; with variety comes complexity (and a-holes). There will be moments where you'll have to not take anything personally. Just have fun!

[SophieGrace]

Gosh - I sort of think it's the mindset you go into it with. I have gone on dating sites feeling skeptical I would meet someone who was capable of emotional intimacy, and - surprise! - I didn't (probably because I wasn't there either).

And then I have put up my profile completely believing I would meet a great guy, and I met several - one of whom became a boyfriend.

 

Sure you have to weed through total mismatches and misspellings and grammatical gaffes (which I don't understand given you only have one chance to make a first impression, and a dating site relies a lot on words), but I just ignore the ones that don't fit (unless they have taken the time to write a nice note, and then I will thank them but say I don't think we're a match.) I also try to be proactive and send notes to those who pique my interest, and I take it with a grain of salt if I don't hear back.

 

Overall, I think it's a fun adventure if that's the attitude you bring into it, and, at the very least, you will have some great stories to tell your friends. And, who knows, maybe you will find your next love. I have several friends who met their husbands on one of these sites, and they are all still married and starting families.