How often do women REJECT guys?

[Dougie_D]

In our society, most women want the guy to ask them out, make the move, do all the leg work, etc.. I'm just wondering, in a typical month, how often do women REJECT guys?

 

If a woman keeps on rejecting guys and/or whine why the man hasn't "asked them out yet", how come the women don't ask out the guy they want to? Here's a hint for the ladies. (7/10 times, that guy will say YES to you for a DATE. ) Those are pretty dang good odds.

 

And for the guys, how often do you get rejected? How often do you have women asking you out? I get rejected ALL the time. I like the females that give me advice here, but I feel like if you haven't been rejected over and over, it's really hard to understand the complications of why I don't like it when "confidence is the key" becomes the excuse of my problems.

 

If anything....some women don't have the confidence as much as a guy does to make that first move.

[Rosti87]

Dougie,

 

You do know that you are asking the same question as the previous. Just rephrased. You will receive the same answers.

[Dougie_D]

Dougie,

 

You do know that you are asking the same question as the previous. Just rephrased. You will receive the same answers.

 

My last thread was about 2nd chances. This is about how often women reject guys and if they reject guys all the time, then why are they not the one's asking the men out?

[Rosti87]

Both threads are about the same thing. Trying to get a girl and being rejected. You may phrase your questions any way you like but at end of the day it comes back to the same subject and the same answers. And your rejecting said answers because you are convinced you have little to do with the problem and somehow something or someone outside yourself is the key.

 

You will not find Nirvana by repeating this activity. Its time to look within.

[Dougie_D]

Both threads are about the same thing. Trying to get a girl and being rejected. You may phrase your questions any way you like but at end of the day it comes back to the same subject and the same answers. And your rejecting said answers because you are convinced you have little to do with the problem and somehow something or someone outside yourself is the key.

 

You will not find Nirvana by repeating this activity. Its time to look within.

 

The question if mostly for women. How often do they REJECT guys and how often do they get rejected. Not one person has given their rejections numbers.

 

I'm just trying to state a point: You can't tell a guy he has no confidence when you never do the asking out.

[Capricorn3]

The question if mostly for women. How often do they REJECT guys.

I don't think anyone can really answer this question because it is different for every individual. She will reject a guy who she's not attracted to, simple as that. The same day she could be attracted to someone else and if he happens to ask her out she might say yes. It depends how much a person goes out, how they socialize, party etc. You give the impression that a girl rejects guys every single day throughout the year. It's not the case.

 

Also, it is not gender specific - if a guy is not attracted to a girl he would reject her too. This question will have a different answer from every single person who posts. It's not a "one size fits all" answer.

[Batya33]

I never thought saying no to a date was "rejecting" a guy. I also experienced a high success rate in men saying yes when I asked them out. In my experience however and those of almost all the women I knew back the, the success rate of finding a long term relationship by asking men out (especially more than once) was very low. That is why I stopped.

 

I felt comfortable asking men out and with rare exception I felt very confident starting conversations with men I was attracted to (which I did for my entire dating life - 24 years plus -never stopped showing interest). I was "rejected " plenty when I showed interest. My goal was marriage and family. The rejection and hard times were worth it a million times over to reach my goals.

 

I did not "whine" when someone did not ask me out -I simply accepted that he did not want to go on a date with me. That is not the same as "rejecting" me.

[Dougie_D]

What do you consider rejection then? For me, rejection is anything that occurs that blocks any sort of first date. It can be simple as that person is showing/verbally letting you know that they are not interested/not attracted to you in any way. They are purposely "rejecting" you.

 

The first date is a step to the relationship with that person.

[Moontiger]

No idea because I have a hard time telling when people are hitting on me.

 

Women will say yes to people they have 1) Have things in common with 2) Are attracted to 3) Has qualities they value.

 

No one is owed a romantic partner. Women have every right to reject you, just as you have every right to reject a woman.

[sleepingdonut]

In general, women like to be pursued. It's somewhat built into our genetics for men to give chase and for women to enjoy the attention of being pursued. But of course women want to be pursued by guys they're attracted to. This puts them in an awkward position, because they can't say, "Hey, I like you. Chase me", if they really want the guy to be the initiator. So they'll often try to give subtle non-verbal cues to show interest, i.e. eye contact, a smile, etc.

[happpybear]

I'm assuming you are referring to rejecting cold-approaches? That's largely all that you are doing to get women, no?

 

For what it's worth

 

I usually make a point to say "yes" to cold-approaches. I usually do not reject a guy that has the courage to approach me.

 

When I do reject a guy, it's usually for a good reason, like maybe I am not interested in dating at all at the time, or something about the guy put me off, he is too young (I tend to attract much younger guys), or he did something gross while we were chatting (like one guy who wiped his snot on a bus seat, and then turned around to ask me out..true story!).

 

I was cold-approached yesterday by a handsome dude, but I rejected his advances because I actually felt a sense of dread while I was talking to him despite him being perfectly polite and charming....never felt like that before but I took it as a sign.

 

I have never cold-approached a man. I have asked out/pursued men that I was already acquainted with (not very often though), but it never worked out for me. Actually the times that I have done that I was either strung-along as a back-up, or rejected by outright avoidance--which was weird and embarrassing. So yes, I have been rejected and know how much that sucks, especially when it is done in an impolite way. So that's why I usually say yes to most date invitations, or at least remain polite and gracious when I do actually reject a guy.

 

I find how often I get asked out fluctuates depending on where I live, and the time of year, and how introverted I am at the time. In the winter, I don't get asked out the same because I'm usually hibernating, and when I am out and about I am so bundled-up that I look ridiculous, most people here do.

 

In spring/summer/fall, it happens more often, but I can't quantify it for you. I live now in a large city, but it's rather cold (and I don't mean weather). People don't make much eye-contact, and generally are looking at their phones. I have had more luck in other smaller cities I have lived in. I also find that when it rains it pours, sometimes I get no attention whatsoever for awhile, and then all of a sudden a bunch of guys are in my orbit and I don't know what to do with all the attention.

[hurtinheart]

What do you consider rejection then? For me, rejection is anything that occurs that blocks any sort of first date. It can be simple as that person is showing/verbally letting you know that they are not interested/not attracted to you in any way. They are purposely "rejecting" you.

 

The first date is a step to the relationship with that person.

 

I consider it rejection, but it's the gauntlet we men have to run in order to find the "yeses." You have to be ready, have some type of strategy and not take it personally or you will crash and burn. Only fools rush in.

 

And it's better to get a rejection over sooner rather than later. An initial rejection is a million times better than a divorce!

[happpybear]

The first date is a step to the relationship with that person.

 

 

Are you actually looking for a relationship? What is it that you are looking for? In your last thread you said you just wanted to get laid, is that still the case?

[Moontiger]

Just because you are attracted to someone, like someone, it does no obligate them to like you back.

[Dougie_D]

Are you actually looking for a relationship? What is it that you are looking for? In your last thread you said you just wanted to get laid, is that still the case?

 

Honestly, I want to have some type of connection with a girl who I lose my virginity to. That's why I could never see myself paying for it. Getting a date with a girl gives me more time to have that connection with a girl. Being in relationship gives me a higher percentage rating of getting laid with the girl.

 

Also, I applaud you for you response to my thread...you didn't cut any corners. I really, really, appreciate that. You have know idea.

 

But since you did ask the question, I've actually asked out some girls at work but all rejected me.

 

Oh, and if I get "introduced" by a friend, I don't consider that a cold-approach.

[Dougie_D]

Just because you are attracted to someone, like someone, it does no obligate them to like you back.

 

It just means that person "rejected" you.

[Firiel]

I've rejected two men in my life. Maybe another one accidentally, ha ha. But I was married at the time, so the rejection was bound to happen anyway.

 

The first guy was a really nice guy who I hung out with in a pre-romantic fashion a few times before starting to see someone else. The other was a guy who asked me out despite the fact that our three previous conversations had been incredibly awkward and stilted. Plus, I had a boyfriend.

[happpybear]

But since you did ask the question, I've actually asked out some girls at work but all rejected me.

 

Oh, and if I get "introduced" by a friend, I don't consider that a cold-approach.

 

Work--understandable, it's work and many people do not want to risk it. I would reject a colleague too, depending on where he worked in the company. I work for a large, well-known company, if a colleague who worked in a department that I have no connection with asked me out, I would probably say yes. But if it was a direct colleague in my department or close enough to be an issue, then no. But I have learned the hard way that having an interest in a direct colleague and attempting to pursue it can be cause for embarrassment.

 

And ya, getting introduced is not cold-appraoch. In that instance, my answer still stands, I would more often than not make a point of saying yes, even more so if the person is a friend of a friend. Unless of course, there is a really good reason to say no (like the reasons I outlined in my above post).

 

Also, I applaud you for you response to my thread...you didn't cut any corners. I really, really, appreciate that. You have know idea.

 

You're welcome

[Moontiger]

It just means that person "rejected" you.

 

And they have every right to do so. Big shocker I know.

 

Women are human beings, they can reject or accept anyone they wish just as men have the right to do.

[happpybear]

And they have every right to do so. Big shocker I know.

 

Women are human beings, they can reject or accept anyone they wish just as men have the right to do.

 

Right, and sometimes it has nothing to do with you, there are other reasons--external reasons--that cause someone to reject someone else.

 

Dougie, I think you internalize every rejection and it just beats down your confidence even more

[MellowZ]

I agree with Capricorn3 that it depends on the woman. I also thought that women get less rejections and for me the rejection is when somebody says that they're not interested in the date. I got rejected 3 consecutive times, so that's why I am here I think we should rethink our behaviour probably to avoid rejection.

[happpybear]

I just took my dog for a walk and was cold-approached (randomly cold-approached two days in a row--doesn't happen often to me, see, when it rains it pours). In the current city I live in, I normally I don't get much attention when I am walking my dog.

 

I suspect it's because I have a small purse-dog (and no, I don't put him in my purse). I think there is a stigma there (maybe I am generalizing) but I suspect that girls with purse-dogs are seen as high-maintenance, or like Paris Hilton (I am neither). If that is the case, then I likely get rejected right from the get-go simply because I have a dog.

 

This guy actually played with my dog--bonus points, so he got my number.

 

In contrast, when my brother has ever walked my dog, he gets practically mauled by women! He generally does pretty well with the ladies anyway, but when he has my dog women just flock to him.

 

There's something about a grown man with a cute little dog....

[agent1607307371]

Dougie, women aren't slot machines. We don't run on a pattern that you can break.

 

For example - happpybear says yes to all cold approaches. I say no to all approaches. Because I don't date and don't want to right now (and, amazingly, don't have to).

 

If you want to approach people, then you make yourself open to rejection and that's just how it is. It sucks yes, but it's the choice you make.

[Batya33]

What do you consider rejection then? For me, rejection is anything that occurs that blocks any sort of first date. It can be simple as that person is showing/verbally letting you know that they are not interested/not attracted to you in any way. They are purposely "rejecting" you.

 

The first date is a step to the relationship with that person.

 

That's ok -we can have different definitions. To me rejection means not associating with a person because you dislike that person for a significant reason. People decline to go on dates for all sorts of reasons - not always even related to anything about the other person.

 

Of course a first date is a step towards a potential relationship if both people are looking for a relationship when they choose to go on the date. So what?

[Lonewing]

All.the.time.