FairyGodmother Posted July 16, 2014 Share Posted July 16, 2014 My boyfriend has what he calls a "rational" fear of driving. There is no public transportation where we live, so we can't avoid driving. I am always the one driving since his driver's license is foreign, and he was unwilling to get an international license since he hates driving. I consider myself to be a safe driver, I respect the speed limits, I always indicate when turning or changing lanes, I don't tailgate, etc. However, my boyfriend's expectations of safe driving are so high that he's constantly criticizing me, telling what I should be doing, and calling me a "dangerous driver". I have explained to him how much it stresses me out when he narrates my every move, but it hasn't helped. I agreed to go to defensive driving lessons with him so hopefully that will appease him somewhat, but I'm really at a loss as to what more I can do. This situation is causing a lot of arguments between us, and I really need some advice as to how to resolve this issue! Link to comment
Cheetarah Posted July 16, 2014 Share Posted July 16, 2014 That would drive me absolutely insane. I'm sorry, I see no other solution other than him getting his international license and driving himself - hate it or not. It is not rational to be barking commands, exclamations and other things in the passenger seat. I don't think defensive driving lessons are a bad idea at all for anyone to take - But I really don't think it will change afterwards as it sounds like he's just not cool relinquishing that control to someone. Link to comment
Seraphim Posted July 16, 2014 Share Posted July 16, 2014 I hate backseat drivers. I have actual left my husband in a parking lot and had him walk home for backseat driving. I would tell him to get his international lisence or walk. Link to comment
itsallgrand Posted July 17, 2014 Share Posted July 17, 2014 So does he have any awareness at all that this is an issue of his, not your driving? Link to comment
HeartGoesOn Posted July 17, 2014 Share Posted July 17, 2014 My husband is a back seat driver. In order to save my sanity, I've learned to simply tune him out. Hopefully you can find a solution, other than tossing him out of the vehicle. Link to comment
Seraphim Posted July 17, 2014 Share Posted July 17, 2014 My husband is a back seat driver. In order to save my sanity, I've learned to simply tune him out. Hopefully you can find a solution, other than tossing him out of the vehicle. Haha a few times of walking home my husband learned...lol. But actually backseat driving is dangerous. Link to comment
Natasha24 Posted July 17, 2014 Share Posted July 17, 2014 I can understand being a little paranoid while driving with someone else, but this sounds over the top. I don't think you should have agreed to more driving lessons. If you have your licence and you're not getting pulled over - you're probably driving just fine. This is HIS problem, not yours. If he chooses not to get his licence and you're doing him a FAVOUR by driving him everywhere - he needs to sit back and shut up. He should be thanking you, not criticizing you. Link to comment
RedDress Posted July 17, 2014 Share Posted July 17, 2014 Wow! You are very accommodating! Frankly, I would not take a defensive driving course just because someone didn't like my driving... Personally I would tell him he has two options: 1) Drive (get his license) 2) Shhh Honestly, I think you are a little too "nice"... Link to comment
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