Boyfriend is a backseat driver

[FairyGodmother]

My boyfriend has what he calls a "rational" fear of driving.

 

There is no public transportation where we live, so we can't avoid driving. I am always the one driving since his driver's license is foreign, and he was unwilling to get an international license since he hates driving.

 

I consider myself to be a safe driver, I respect the speed limits, I always indicate when turning or changing lanes, I don't tailgate, etc. However, my boyfriend's expectations of safe driving are so high that he's constantly criticizing me, telling what I should be doing, and calling me a "dangerous driver". I have explained to him how much it stresses me out when he narrates my every move, but it hasn't helped.

 

I agreed to go to defensive driving lessons with him so hopefully that will appease him somewhat, but I'm really at a loss as to what more I can do.

 

This situation is causing a lot of arguments between us, and I really need some advice as to how to resolve this issue!

[Cheetarah]

That would drive me absolutely insane. I'm sorry, I see no other solution other than him getting his international license and driving himself - hate it or not.

 

It is not rational to be barking commands, exclamations and other things in the passenger seat. I don't think defensive driving lessons are a bad idea at all for anyone to take - But I really don't think it will change afterwards as it sounds like he's just not cool relinquishing that control to someone.

[Seraphim]

I hate backseat drivers. I have actual left my husband in a parking lot and had him walk home for backseat driving. I would tell him to get his international lisence or walk.

[itsallgrand]

So does he have any awareness at all that this is an issue of his, not your driving?

[HeartGoesOn]

My husband is a back seat driver. In order to save my sanity, I've learned to simply tune him out. Hopefully you can find a solution, other than tossing him out of the vehicle.

[Seraphim]

My husband is a back seat driver. In order to save my sanity, I've learned to simply tune him out. Hopefully you can find a solution, other than tossing him out of the vehicle.

 

Haha a few times of walking home my husband learned...lol.

 

But actually backseat driving is dangerous.

[Natasha24]

I can understand being a little paranoid while driving with someone else, but this sounds over the top. I don't think you should have agreed to more driving lessons. If you have your licence and you're not getting pulled over - you're probably driving just fine.

 

This is HIS problem, not yours.

If he chooses not to get his licence and you're doing him a FAVOUR by driving him everywhere - he needs to sit back and shut up. He should be thanking you, not criticizing you.

[RedDress]

Wow! You are very accommodating! Frankly, I would not take a defensive driving course just because someone didn't like my driving...

 

Personally I would tell him he has two options:

1) Drive (get his license)

2) Shhh

 

Honestly, I think you are a little too "nice"...