What the eff to do

[boo700gs]

Meet up with ex to "talk" after breaking up a month ago. Both in mid-twenties. She broke up with me because her parents would disown her if she ever considered getting serious due to religion and i got heated when it came out she was entertaining a mail suitor who fit the "profile" but, according to her as of yesterday, had nothing else on me. I text her that morning saying im excited to see her. And she gives me this debbie downer bit tombout lets keep it peaceful. So I'm thinking I'm gonna get a free dinner out of this and that's that.

 

FFW to our "talk">> We meet up and she's holding my arm, as we walk down to the place to get dinner. I make sure to order some shots before our food comes and soon we're sucking face at the restaurant, in the street, at the bar. Meanwhile the consensus is we love/hate each other and that she is adamant about the family thing (and prefaces it with, unless we lived far away) and I tell her that right there should show you it's not impossible for us. She tells me she been on a date but cannot get herself to be physical with anyone as much as she wants to enjoy herself. She tells me she blocked the other guy because she didnt "respect him" (this I really doubt). Telling me how wet she was and holding on my to log in the car. But no further. I told her its all good whatever happens, we both know we cant be just friends, just wish you would've kept everything 100.

 

So I'm now wondering whether she wants to make peace because she thinks I'd send vids/pics/audio to derail this thing with the mail suitor (I emailed her an audio clip of her O'ing 2 weeks ago and told her to use her imagination) or is actually getting ready to let your boy back in.

[SpottiOtti]

What do you want out of this? It sounds like it's doomed to failure. Is she willing to change religions and estrange herself from her parents? Cause it sounds like that's what will have to happen if you two are to have a future. You have to think with your head and not your heart here; you're going to put yourself through a lot of drama and pain if you start this up again.

 

Just out of curiosity, would you email that stuff to another person besides her? You don't seem that douchey to me . . .

[morrowrd]

When it's truly and honestly "love", all that crap about culture, religion, geography, none of that matters. When both people want to be together, no matter what, due to loving one another, they work with the circumstances, they adapt, they communicate and plan, and they succeed. That's a guarantee. Both sides have to sacrifice something, both will be willing to compromise, because in the end they get what they want, each other.

 

My feeling is that this isn't love, because it isn't coming together. Accept that, or not. If you decide not to, eventually you will have to anyway, and it might be more painful to you if that's your choice.

[boo700gs]

Both replies are totally on the money. What do I want? I want to enjoy her even if it's not love and we're not together or destined to get married. I have been dating otherwise but have not found anyone that rustles my jimmies like her yet.

 

Would I send it? It definitely sounds douchey and lower than me but I can't say I think it's "wrong" to do. I was hurt by the betrayal -- we had been going out for 3 years and this particular suitor was supposed to be old news. For it to resurface by accident as she was showing me something else on her phone was hard to swallow. And the nonchalance she showed when I talked to her about it made me even more furious. This guy has been communicating with her on an off for 3 years from long distance trying to advance his agenda when he knew she was I a relationship. My god, I've found a video of this guy talking about how he develops romantic relationships on Facebook. I have good reason to be Angry though I do recognize Bitterness is completely different, and sending that stuff is Bitter. I have thoughts about just emailing this guy now to give him a piece of mind generally and to find out whether they were communicating still specifically.

 

 

There's a learning experience here but I still don't get it.

/rant

[boo700gs]

Going to end up seeing her again this weekend at a friends party. We live not far from one another so I may just ask if she needs a ride if I can't come up with anything smoother. I don't know about everyone else but the sex heals. The more we did it/ the more closure I felt with moving on. This is our 3rd time breaking up in 3 summers. There's no illusion or torch holding.