Ladytmt Posted May 22, 2014 Share Posted May 22, 2014 Wouldn't i be considered a failure if i can't have kids and never get married? I feel like i've failed. Link to comment
Seraphim Posted May 22, 2014 Share Posted May 22, 2014 Why would you be a failure? There are many people who have never married and never had kids and are still successful. Success depends on what you want. Link to comment
bittersweet871 Posted May 22, 2014 Share Posted May 22, 2014 If you can't have kids then you adopt. Just because you don't do they typical thing, that doesn't make you a failure. You do what is best for you and that is what makes you successful. Link to comment
Capricorn3 Posted May 22, 2014 Share Posted May 22, 2014 Why would not being married be a failure? Being married and having kids doesn't automatically have to mean that one is a great success. Life is what you make of it. Link to comment
Batya33 Posted May 22, 2014 Share Posted May 22, 2014 I think there is a lot of pressure to suggest that a woman should feel that way. It's really too bad. I think there are many ways to make a contribution to the world (whether it's the whole world or your world of family or friends or community). It's not a race or a contest as far as marriage/children no matter how many Facebook posts suggest otherwise. How old are you? What have you done so far to reach your goal of marriage and family? Link to comment
Ladytmt Posted May 22, 2014 Author Share Posted May 22, 2014 I think there is a lot of pressure to suggest that a woman should feel that way. It's really too bad. I think there are many ways to make a contribution to the world (whether it's the whole world or your world of family or friends or community). It's not a race or a contest as far as marriage/children no matter how many Facebook posts suggest otherwise. How old are you? What have you done so far to reach your goal of marriage and family? Thanks and I'm 35... Link to comment
Ladytmt Posted May 22, 2014 Author Share Posted May 22, 2014 Why would not being married be a failure? Being married and having kids doesn't automatically have to mean that one is a great success. Life is what you make of it. It just feels like i've failed. Its just depressing as those are things i want but it doesn't seem they will happen. Link to comment
Ladytmt Posted May 22, 2014 Author Share Posted May 22, 2014 If you can't have kids then you adopt. Just because you don't do they typical thing, that doesn't make you a failure. You do what is best for you and that is what makes you successful. I agree but then i think if i found someone and got married and can't have kids they would leave me. Link to comment
Capricorn3 Posted May 22, 2014 Share Posted May 22, 2014 Has a doctor told you that you can't have children? Link to comment
Ladytmt Posted May 22, 2014 Author Share Posted May 22, 2014 Has a doctor told you that you can't have children? No but fibroids are an issue Link to comment
Seraphim Posted May 22, 2014 Share Posted May 22, 2014 No but fibroids are an issue I have fibroids and have a child. You can also get your fibroids removed. I know somebody on here who had surgery to have them removed and had a baby. Link to comment
Capricorn3 Posted May 22, 2014 Share Posted May 22, 2014 No but fibroids are an issue That doesn't mean you can't have children. In fact, fibroids are extremely common and the majority of women who have them, have children and can have children. There is so much that can be done, so you really shouldn't just assume you can't have a child. There's at least 95% chance that you CAN have children. Link to comment
Silentlyfor Posted May 22, 2014 Share Posted May 22, 2014 You've obviously had time to mull over the choice to have kids for a long time. If you don't mind me asking, why did you take so many years to mull over the choice to bear offspring? Link to comment
SapphireNoir10 Posted May 22, 2014 Share Posted May 22, 2014 No certainly not. Some people never have kids through choice and they aren't seen as failures and more and more people aren't getting married. Link to comment
Batya33 Posted May 22, 2014 Share Posted May 22, 2014 Thanks and I'm 35... Do you have enough $ to freeze your eggs? I also know women with fibroids (and worse issues!) who were able to have a healthy baby. When I was 35 and single what I did to meet men was: on line dating sites, volunteer work, work, book club (women who could set me up with available men), went to a gym, singles parties, singles vacations, dancing lessons (a few times), joined religious organizations, asked everyone to set me up on dates, etc. What steps are you taking? Link to comment
Marah Posted May 22, 2014 Share Posted May 22, 2014 The only person who can decide if you're a failure is you. Do you think its fair to dismiss yourself over something like that? Would you think the same of someone else? Link to comment
Ladytmt Posted May 23, 2014 Author Share Posted May 23, 2014 That doesn't mean you can't have children. In fact, fibroids are extremely common and the majority of women who have them, have children and can have children. There is so much that can be done, so you really shouldn't just assume you can't have a child. There's at least 95% chance that you CAN have children. Really? Well u have a point there and i know one person that had 2 kids with them but of course she was younger than me. Link to comment
Ladytmt Posted May 23, 2014 Author Share Posted May 23, 2014 Do you have enough $ to freeze your eggs? I also know women with fibroids (and worse issues!) who were able to have a healthy baby. When I was 35 and single what I did to meet men was: on line dating sites, volunteer work, work, book club (women who could set me up with available men), went to a gym, singles parties, singles vacations, dancing lessons (a few times), joined religious organizations, asked everyone to set me up on dates, etc. What steps are you taking? I do most of what u stated. Online dating, the gym, etc. i meet men but i focus on the wrong ones. I also took 2 years to heal emotionally over a cheating ex so that took time away from dating. Link to comment
Ladytmt Posted May 23, 2014 Author Share Posted May 23, 2014 You've obviously had time to mull over the choice to have kids for a long time. If you don't mind me asking, why did you take so many years to mull over the choice to bear offspring? I chose to obtain degrees and a career. I don't think thats a bad thing. Link to comment
Ladytmt Posted May 23, 2014 Author Share Posted May 23, 2014 I have fibroids and have a child. You can also get your fibroids removed. I know somebody on here who had surgery to have them removed and had a baby. I've had 9 removed in 2008... One was the size of a football!!! Now some small ones have come back. So i'm debating going under the knife again but my dr said since these are smaller he can take another approach that won't require me to be out of work 6 weeks like the 2008 surgery. He said i would be out 2 weeks if i chose to do it. Link to comment
Seraphim Posted May 23, 2014 Share Posted May 23, 2014 I've had 9 removed in 2008... One was the size of a football!!! Now some small ones have come back. So i'm debating going under the knife again but my dr said since these are smaller he can take another approach that won't require me to be out of work 6 weeks like the 2008 surgery. He said i would be out 2 weeks if i chose to do it. I kept mine but I was able to have one child. I have 15 or more large ones and they can not even map all my small ones. But I was able to have one child at least. Link to comment
Ladytmt Posted May 25, 2014 Author Share Posted May 25, 2014 I kept mine but I was able to have one child. I have 15 or more large ones and they can not even map all my small ones. But I was able to have one child at least. Thanks, that gives me a littke hope. Thats all i'd want anyway is 1 child. Link to comment
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