soulforge Posted December 2, 2013 Share Posted December 2, 2013 hello guys, urgently need your advice 3 months ago, i broke up with my girlfriend... the reason why i dumped her, was because of her disrespecting me, bieng selfish & sometimes even bieng cruel to me... after 2 months apart & full no contact, she started begging me to take her back... she sent me upto 20 emails, claiming she will make me the happiest man in the world, if i give her another chance... so i took her back... now only 2 months into us getting back together, the cracks are beginning to show! in the last 3 weeks, she has disrespected me & treated me in a rude manner 3 times.... the first time she disrespected me and lied to me, she decided to apologize, so i forgave her. the second time, she tried to get back into my good books again, so i let it slide!!! she has gone and done it again.... she has lied to me & been disrespectful i took her shopping, and because i did not park the car close enough to the entrance of the store, she kicked off with me.... started complaining & creating drama!!!! she then just walked off, and left me standing there, like a complete idiot.... i was so angry & upset, so i did not bother going after her & just got back into the car. she came back to the car ten minutes later & complained again, so i just ignored it, as i did not want an argument... she then totaly ignored me for the rest of the day.... we went back to my flat & she just sat there & played on her Ipad for two hours & did not say a single word to me. i was getting angry & frustrated at her blatantly ignoring me, giving me the silent treatment... she has used silent treatment on me many times before so i just watched the t.v and tried to show her that i am not bothered about her passive aggressive behaviour... now normaly she does not leave my house till about 5pm in the afternoon, on this occasion she just ignored me all day & told me she is going home, at around 3pm she picked up her things, gave me a heartless kiss on the cheek & said she will text me later... IT HAS BEEN 2 DAYS NOW & SHE HAS NOT BOTHERED CONTACTING ME... WE NORMALY TEXT EVERYDAY i am sick of bieng treated like this, i let her back into my life, on the promise that she would change & would make my life happier... i did not do do anything wrong, other than park a bit further away from the entrance... and i get punished like this... she created drama out of the situation... she claimed she did not feel well, but that parking spot was the easiest i could find.... HAVE I COMMITED A MAJOR CRIME HERE??? she lashed out at me, created drama, walked off and left me stood there like an idiot... ignored me all day, played on her ipad for 2 hours, while totaly blanking me... she left home early, and i have not heard from her in 2 days!! i am ready to dump her again, i can't take her treating me like an idiot. what should i do? she also lied to me, made excuses for why i could not come to her house sunday night, because she wanted time with her 8 year old daughter.... it turns out, she did not want me there, because her ex comes over to her house & comes into the house, when he drops her off she always told me, her ex never comes in the house... turns out, not only does he come in the house, but stays there for quite a while... thats why she made excuses & made sure i would not come over sunday i don't think she is sleeping with the ex.... but why lie about it... why blow me out with excuses, just so her ex could come over... i feel like she chose her ex over me!!! i have split up with her before 4 times. mostly due to her bad behaviour and direspectful way... but she always comes begging back Link to comment
jjkk Posted December 2, 2013 Share Posted December 2, 2013 Well this time, don't take her back. Obviously things aren't ever going to change with her. Stay strong, don't contact her and if she comes back around after awhile, ignore her please, for your own dignity. Link to comment
soulforge Posted December 3, 2013 Author Share Posted December 3, 2013 i really really feel i need to change my mobile number first thing in the morning... i am planning to just vanish & not even give her an explanation... i will not even dump her..... i will just vanish.... i let her back into my life & this is how she treats me!!! all this drama & chaos... why??? because i parked the car a bit furthur away from the entrance of the store... what a stupid silly thing to split up over... she is so immature this woman wanted to move in with me, marry me..... and she carries on like this over a f@cking parking space!! it is all about control with her.... she will probably be waiting for me to text her or ring... so she can be in control... why the hell should i contact her.... she flipped over such a silly thing.... she ignored me all day & now has not even bothered contacting me for two days!!!! Link to comment
soulforge Posted December 3, 2013 Author Share Posted December 3, 2013 did i do anything wrong here? 2 days she has not bothered with me... Link to comment
jjkk Posted December 3, 2013 Share Posted December 3, 2013 I think changing your number is a great idea. I'd just be done, don't worry about contacting her to try to break it off or explain. I don't see it as breaking up over the parking space, it's breaking up because she's treating you horribly and she seems immature and cold and this is a pattern that isn't going to be broken. It's time to vanish. Link to comment
soulforge Posted December 3, 2013 Author Share Posted December 3, 2013 i know what you are saying.... but i love this girl... sometimes we have amazing times.... but she is very immature (she is 46 years old) she can be very cold, manipulative at times.... she twists everything to make it look like its my fault... i really don't believe i did anything wrong... i would apologize if i did.... but i know i didn't the more i let her get away with this type of behaviour, the worse she will get... plus she has lied to me... she blew me out, so her ex could come over... how will i trust this woman Link to comment
jjkk Posted December 3, 2013 Share Posted December 3, 2013 It doesn't sound like you did anything wrong. I know it's hard to break things off when you love someone and the feelings are strong and it just plain sucks!! It sounds like you realize things aren't going to get better and you don't feel like you can trust her. I'm sorry this is so crappy for you but down the road somewhere (a month? a year? idk) you'll be glad you 'll be glad you vanished. Move on and heal and then let yourself be open to another relationship in which there is mutual respect. Link to comment
HeartGoesOn Posted December 3, 2013 Share Posted December 3, 2013 I have split up with her before 4 times. mostly due to her bad behaviour and direspectful way... but she always comes begging back Well, that doesn't mean you have to take her back. You've taught her that she can continue to treat you like dirt, and despite that you'll always take her back with open arms. We teach people how to treat us, therefore do you feel you're the exception? Link to comment
shelty24 Posted December 3, 2013 Share Posted December 3, 2013 Just end it already. She makes you crazy. Its not worth it Link to comment
ParisPaulette Posted December 3, 2013 Share Posted December 3, 2013 Agree with the others, you need to end it for good. And just because she comes begging back doesn't mean you have to say yes. Of course she'll do that. Who else is going to put with her shenanigans. Oh BTW I have a huge dislike of people who can't be bothered to walk more than two feet to the entrance of a store, so I probably would have told her good luck then on walking home and driven off. Way too much drama, why are you still putting up with it? Link to comment
soulforge Posted December 3, 2013 Author Share Posted December 3, 2013 i only ever took her back once before, previouse to that we broke up on mututal grounds.... and yes, i should not have taken her back the last time round... obviously people like her do not change... ever! i have bought a new sim card, to change my number..... should i send her a text message and dump her????? or just change my number and vanish??????? what is the best way Link to comment
jjkk Posted December 3, 2013 Share Posted December 3, 2013 I lean towards just vanish. If you really want to text to break up, make sure you're strong enough not to get sucked into any further drama w/ her. Link to comment
soulforge Posted December 3, 2013 Author Share Posted December 3, 2013 my plan is to send her a strong message... i could send her a text message, making it clear that i will absoloutly not tolerate crappy disrespectful behaviour & that it is over!!! i have not heard anything from her, in 3 days now... is this someone who cares for my hapiness? no chance there is a strong chance, that if i don't dump her soon, then she will be sending a text to me. DUMPING ME FIRST after the way she has treated me, walked out on me, not bothered contacting me in 3 days, even lied to me... why should i give her the pleasure of dumping me too? it is very rare for this woman to accept any respnsibilty or apologize.. she is a proffesional victim... she blames me for everything.... so i would not be surprised if she is sat at home, claiming me to be the bad guy.... and this is why she has not contacted me... i just cannot win with this woman Link to comment
soulforge Posted December 3, 2013 Author Share Posted December 3, 2013 dump her or just vanish??? what do you guys think do i need to show strength here, and stand up for myself, by dumping her... or just change number & walk away for good Link to comment
soulforge Posted December 3, 2013 Author Share Posted December 3, 2013 only 2 weeks ago, i asked her, when her ex comes over to drop or pick there daughter up... does he ever come inside the house?? she said no... he only stays outdoors turns out, not only does he come inside, but he stops there for an hour at a time and more.... now i am not saying she is doing something with him... but why lie about it? i suggested to her that i would come and stop at her house last sunday.. she made every excuse under the sun, to put me off from coming over she kept telling me, she had to be up early, also she and her daughter have quality time together on the sunday, so i can't be there.... etc etc etc then it turns out, her ex is at her house sunday night.... then the penny dropped... she did not want me over at her house, because she knew her ex would be there!!! i felt horrible inside, and manipulated and lied to Link to comment
jjkk Posted December 3, 2013 Share Posted December 3, 2013 Good luck! Only you know for sure but the feeling I get about contacting to break things off is that it'll drag things out, get pulled into drama, hope for an apology...something. Best of luck whatever you decide. Link to comment
soulforge Posted December 3, 2013 Author Share Posted December 3, 2013 i decided not to bother texting her to end it.... i will simply just disapear from her life for good... i have changed my mobile number & blocked her by email, so there is no way she can reel me back in... i loved this woman dearly, more than anyone.... she put me through so much crap & never really appreciated me... she deserves nothing from me ever again.... i will not exist to her anymore... only when i am gone from her life, does she realize my worth, then she begs and pleads for me to come back... once i am back, she goes back to her selfish self i made such a big mistake taking her back, she promised me everything would be different... yet she is still the same chameleon as she was before... sometimes nice as pie & then suddenly cold hurtfull and uncaring she does not even deserve a text message from me... i will never let her into my life again Link to comment
ParisPaulette Posted December 4, 2013 Share Posted December 4, 2013 she does not even deserve a text message from me... i will never let her into my life again This is a very smart. You'll go through the healing process and have your ups and downs, but when you reach a certain point it becomes surprisingly easy to let them go. And to just say no if they get in your face somewhere down the road wanting you back. Good luck and come here if you feel you need the people on this board to help you with anything. Link to comment
agent1607307371 Posted December 4, 2013 Share Posted December 4, 2013 OP, you know that saying about people treating you the way you let them treat you? Link to comment
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