Oh wow... I guess she isn't interested? First date report

[t510]

I had a first date tonight. after the date I think I could have kissed her but I had no clue where I stood with her.

I wrote her a text saying I had fun and asked if she got home ok. She wrote but didn't say she had fun.

 

After I just said whatever and wrote "are you interested in going out again"... She said "um, well I did all the talking so I don't know if that would work for dating"

 

Does this mean ... "I don't find you attractive"?

 

I wrote back saying I think we would have fun. but that is ok.

She said "ok?"

Then I said well, consider coming to dinner Monday. and she said she would think about it...

 

Is this 100% not interested? She screwed me up big time with the timing and it really messed up my schedule...

 

Should I write her on Monday and see if she wants to go out...?

[savignon]

I would not pursue someone who had to 'think about it'. Barf.

I also wouldn't say that to someone I was interested in.

Pass on this chick.

[pippy longstocking]

I am with sav on this ....

 

no don't even give her an option for monday night ...just don't bother

[wsim]

She isn't interested. Move on...

[Bunney]

She didn't like the date and she's told you why: she basically told you that she thinks you're boring, because "she did all the talking".

 

Maybe with the next girl, try to talk more/lead the conversation more.

 

She definitely doesn't sound interested in going out another time. Sucks, but we've all been there.

[t510]

So do you think she was just trying to let me down politely?

 

Should I even bother calling?

[pippy longstocking]

So do you think she was just trying to let me down politely?

 

Should I even bother calling?

 

nope .... just let it go mate honest ....and if we have all got it wrong then you will hear from her about Monday night .....but honest from what you said ...she isn't interested , sorry to not be more positive for you .

[t510]

Honestly, when we left. It was like she was waiting ofr me to kiss her and then I didn't know what to do so I said thanks for dinner, I'll talk to you soon. And she looked really disappointed...

she hasn't said she's definitely not interested yet... Maybe she was just disappointed that it didn't go as she had hoped...

but I agree with you guys

[pippy longstocking]

Honestly, when we left. It was like she was waiting ofr me to kiss her and then I didn't know what to do so I said thanks for dinner, I'll talk to you soon. And she looked really disappointed...

she hasn't said she's definitely not interested yet... Maybe she was just disappointed that it didn't go as she had hoped...

but I agree with you guys

 

At the end of the day you have nothing to lose in the grand scheme of life by asking her ..

once , just one more chance of you really feel like you want to .

 

it just reads like you will be wasting your time though .

[Bunney]

Well then with the next girl, grow a pair of balls and just kiss her when she has that "kiss me"-look on her face

It does sound to me like you could benefit from a little more confidence and assertiveness.

[Ms Darcy]

She didn't like the date and she's told you why: she basically told you that she thinks you're boring, because "she did all the talking".

 

Maybe with the next girl, try to talk more/lead the conversation more.

 

She definitely doesn't sound interested in going out another time. Sucks, but we've all been there.

 

My thoughts exactly. She told you that you dropped the ball. Leave this girl alone and try to talk more with the next one.

[catfeeder]

There's a difference between finding someone physically attractive versus emotionally or intellectually stimulating. She found you attractive enough to meet, but if she had to do all the talking, the date was too much 'work' for her.

 

A quiet person can be charming--but you need to at least hold up your end of the conversation.

 

No, I would not pursue Monday with this one. I would consider it a practice date from which you've learned how you can improve, and I'd go find others to date.

 

Head high, this isn't easy for anyone.

[missmarple]

I'm not sure. It sounds like something I would tell someone I was interested in if something on the date had disappointed me (vs someone I wasn't interested in, to whom I would just say 'no, thanks, I don't think we're compatible, good luck').

[abitbroken]

I think that you need to work on your conversational skills. The other person doesn't think they are doing all the talking if you are showing interest and asking questions. And also adding your take on a subject. I don't think a kiss/no kiss would have mattered here. If you guys were able to engage in stimulating conversation and you didn't kiss, she would have looked forward it to the next time and wouldn't care if you didn't want to rush things.

[abitbroken]

btw, if you are not a big talker, pick active dates where you are doing an activity together - mini golf, cooking class,hiking, a sport, etc, that you both like. its a good ice breaker.

[catfeeder]

I think that you need to work on your conversational skills. The other person doesn't think they are doing all the talking if you are showing interest and asking questions. And also adding your take on a subject. I don't think a kiss/no kiss would have mattered here. If you guys were able to engage in stimulating conversation and you didn't kiss, she would have looked forward it to the next time and wouldn't care if you didn't want to rush things.

 

This. It's not about the kiss, it's about encouraging warmth and demonstrating interest in your date's discussion by entering into it.