Should i contact her?

[JTP1994]

Its been a few months I was the one that was dumped but I have a few questions to ask her about things now and gain a bit of closure for myself. I'm not looking to get back with her now and I have no intentions of getting my heart broke again. I am in a much better place and can control myself completely now. I was just wondering if it would be best to text her or just completely leave it. IM doing the whole go with your heart outlook.

 

All inputs are appreciated.

 

Cheers

[NoIdea2013]

Don't bother,closure is never as satisfying as you build up in your mind

[t1lersm0m1]

Ask yourself this question....if you saw her on the street with another man and she looked genuinely happy, how would that make you feel? If that would hurt, then I'd say you think you've healed but you haven't. And her answers, or her refusal to provide them, may hurt you.

[SooSad33]

I say, leave her be. I dont think any more is going to 'help you' at all.

No one really gets 'closure'. Because for a long time afterwards, we're full of sandess, confusion and what if's anyways, no matter what.

If you understand now, that things are done, I suggest you do your best to work now on 'accepting' it.

It will take time.. it is hard, we know.

 

One day at a time.. do your best to stay away from her.. Give and ask no more.

 

tc

[SooSad33]

Spelling mistake made * sadness.

[catfeeder]

Closure is highly over-rated, and it comes from within, not from someone else.

 

If she wasn't willing to be straight with you during breakup time, then she's no more likely inclined to be honest with you now. In fact, she could view the pressure to cough up answers as threatening and turn hostile.

 

Breakups are hard enough for both people. If you reopen that, don't be surprised by a chilly outcome.

 

I'd quit while you're ahead and move FORward.

[QWit]

A lot of times when I person wants to contact an ex looking for closure, it is not exactly true.. It's sometimes an excuse to contact your ex to see if you can have another chance with them.. The ex can't give you true closure. That comes from within..

[heartxbroken]

Getting closure from an ex does not exist. They will never provide it in a way that will ever satisfy you. Seeking "closure" is a mere excuse to contact the ex and it never works out favorably. If the circumstances of the breakup was very bad, it will just bring up negative emotions and probably a fight. You will just hang up the phone feeling hurt and regretting ever contacting the ex if closure is what you are looking for.

[varkolak]

You won't find closure in anything she says. Only YOU can give yourself that closure and peace of mind. My ex who dumped me offered me "clarification" after I NCed her for 7 days and I kindly declined. If you're not interested in getting back with her, let sleeping dogs lie.

[ChilliRed2013]

Closure cannot be achieved through texting or email. If both people were emotionally stable, well rounded humans, the closure you are referring to would be achieved at or very soon after the point when the relationship is ended. With a conversation.

Chances are that this is not the case for many of us here. Do not seek answers from someone that was not willing to give them in the first place. The answers will never ease your turmoil.

You can "close" this for yourself. Not with questions, but by simply truly accepting that what once was, is no more. Once you do that, you'll find the questions fade away, the confusion dissipates, the pain and hurt subsides. Acceptance provides all the closure you need in order to let go and move on.