dark angel9 Posted November 17, 2013 Share Posted November 17, 2013 It's a very, very bad sign right? Link to comment
SpottiOtti Posted November 17, 2013 Share Posted November 17, 2013 In my experience, it's actually just something cheesy a guy says when he either A. Wants only sex from you and knows he won't get it if he says, "I just want to screw you, nothing more", or B. Isn't interested in a relationship with you and is trying to let you down easy. I'm always slightly insulted when a guy says this to me, like "Oh, okay. So you think you're a love god or something. You're gonna break my heart, eh? How do you know I won't break yours?" Link to comment
In the Dark Posted November 17, 2013 Share Posted November 17, 2013 If he is afraid I would most likely assume it is a probably will. Link to comment
dark angel9 Posted November 17, 2013 Author Share Posted November 17, 2013 In my experience, it's actually just something cheesy a guy says when he either A. Wants only sex from you and knows he won't get it if he says, "I just want to screw you, nothing more", or B. Isn't interested in a relationship with you and is trying to let you down easy. I'm always slightly insulted when a guy says this to me, like "Oh, okay. So you think you're a love god or something. You're gonna break my heart, eh? How do you know I won't break yours?" It's insulting because he is sure that I am that into him. It's one of the worst lines out there together with "I am afraid I will never find a woman that loves me like you do" Link to comment
blueidealist24 Posted November 17, 2013 Share Posted November 17, 2013 I think it is. Depending on the situation I would take it as them saying they can't commit to one person due to being a player and/or having some sort of emotional issues. Either way I don't think someone who said that would be a good relationship candidate. I said something like that a few years ago to a guy who liked me, because I just wanted to run around and party and I was honestly afraid I would make out with someone else while I was drinking. So yeah, bottom line, not a good candidate for a relationship, at least at this point! Or if you're already in one with him, maybe you shouldn't be. Link to comment
missmarple Posted November 17, 2013 Share Posted November 17, 2013 If you're in a relationship with him, it's a bad sign for sure. It could mean that he's already done something that would break your heart if you found out. If you're not in a relationship, it means either he's not into you as much as you are into him or he's too cocky. Anyway, I wouldn't stay around a guy who told me something like that. Link to comment
bob the brave Posted November 17, 2013 Share Posted November 17, 2013 Well whatever the motive, think of it this way: 1) If he is being honest, you would be wise to stay away. 2) If he is lying, that means he is again telling the truth after all. You would be wise to stay away. Link to comment
happpybear Posted November 17, 2013 Share Posted November 17, 2013 He is telling you who he is and what he is capable of giving you, and it isn't much. I take it a sign that he isn't all that interested enough to treat you in a way that wouldn't break your heart, but doesn't necessarily have the b*lls to say outright "i'm just not that into you". I see it as a warning, so if you did actually get involved and he inevitably treats you like crap, he can say "but, I told you I would break your heart, so..." Link to comment
annie24 Posted November 17, 2013 Share Posted November 17, 2013 I've never heard that and had it turn out happily. Link to comment
lavenderdove Posted November 17, 2013 Share Posted November 17, 2013 Yeah, a really bad sign... I have a friend who says that the biggest problem with relationships is that we run a script in our heads of how it SHOULD go, and ignore anything that is contrary to our own expectations/hopes. So if you think about it logically, why would someone say something like that? It could be: He's not that into you, and likes you well enough for play but sees you are taking him far more seriously than he is you. He likes you, but knows he's a player and won't be around for long. He sees you're a romantic and want to leap right in, but he's not in the market for a serious relationship and doesn't want you to get overexcited and think this is going anywhere. So it's not really an insult, but it is a strong indication of where his head is... that for whatever reason he knows he doesn't plan to turn this into anything serious or permanent, because that is what 'breaking your heart' is about, getting involved then leaving you later because you want more from him than he is interested in giving. So he's already told you how this will end (with him leaving or not getting serious one way or another), so it is definitely a buyer beware moment for you where if what you want is a steady BF and serious relationship, don't get involved with this guy. Link to comment
Thorshammer Posted November 17, 2013 Share Posted November 17, 2013 Means he wont be committed to you, at least thats what i mean when i say it. It doesn mean he will cheat, it just means if you want a boyfriend, he wont give you that, and if you decide to keep holding on, then you are playing with fire. Link to comment
dark angel9 Posted November 17, 2013 Author Share Posted November 17, 2013 Well this was an online thing that we had for months. We are supposed to meet for the first time soon (we live in separate countries). We both said that we won't get invested/exclusive before we see what we have once we meet in person. Then he came up with this break your heart thing. I guess I thought we were both equally into each other but cautious because we never met. But now that he has said this, I wonder if he is even worth meeting.... Does the background on this situation change anything? Should I not meet him? Link to comment
Jd1983 Posted November 17, 2013 Share Posted November 17, 2013 Yes, it is typically a bad sign. I had a guy tell me that in the past - "I'm afraid to hurt you". He knew I liked him, but he was just interested in sex. We didn't have sex, but nothing ever came from that either. When a guy is saying that, it's usually for a reason. Link to comment
Thorshammer Posted November 17, 2013 Share Posted November 17, 2013 Well this was an online thing that we had for months. We are supposed to meet for the first time soon (we live in separate countries). We both said that we won't get invested/exclusive before we see what we have once we meet in person. Then he came up with this break your heart thing. I guess I thought we were both equally into each other but cautious because we never met. But now that he has said this, I wonder if he is even worth meeting.... Does the background on this situation change anything? Should I not meet him? Yes, it does a bit. It could be that he has high standards and you might not meet them since he cant gauge your pics, or because you live far away and he doesnt want to be committed to you due to distance. So those nights will most likely be just those nights. Link to comment
Sportster2005 Posted November 17, 2013 Share Posted November 17, 2013 Take his word for it. He's a train wreck and is being upfront about it. Link to comment
missmarple Posted November 17, 2013 Share Posted November 17, 2013 Well this was an online thing that we had for months. We are supposed to meet for the first time soon (we live in separate countries). We both said that we won't get invested/exclusive before we see what we have once we meet in person. Then he came up with this break your heart thing. I guess I thought we were both equally into each other but cautious because we never met. But now that he has said this, I wonder if he is even worth meeting.... Does the background on this situation change anything? Should I not meet him? Don't meet him. If you haven't even met yet and he says stuff like that, when he should be all excited about meeting you, what do you think will happen once you meet? Link to comment
lavenderdove Posted November 17, 2013 Share Posted November 17, 2013 Oh yeah, if this is just an online thing it could be worse... i.e., he's married and lying about it or has a GF and is lying about it... who knows! There are soooo many people online who just want the fantasy... never waste months on a person before meeting him... there are not only liars who are just looking for sex or stimulation online, there are lots who are just bored people in relationships who are just looking for the spice and stimulation of an secret online flirtation and have no intention of making it real. I suggest you really quickly ask him point blank what he means by 'breaking your heart'... exactly HOW would he do that. And don't go any farther with him at all if he won't agree to actually meet you SOON and can prove he is single and not already married or committed to someone else. Link to comment
happpybear Posted November 17, 2013 Share Posted November 17, 2013 Well this was an online thing that we had for months. We are supposed to meet for the first time soon (we live in separate countries). We both said that we won't get invested/exclusive before we see what we have once we meet in person. Then he came up with this break your heart thing. I guess I thought we were both equally into each other but cautious because we never met. But now that he has said this, I wonder if he is even worth meeting.... Does the background on this situation change anything? Should I not meet him? My bet is he met someone recently, so is trying to let you down the easy (cowardly) way by making it about himself--"I will hurt you'--instead of saying the truth, like that he met someone or is not interested so he can back out of the planned meet-up. No, don't meet him. Link to comment
Ms Darcy Posted November 17, 2013 Share Posted November 17, 2013 It's insulting because he is sure that I am that into him. It's one of the worst lines out there together with "I am afraid I will never find a woman that loves me like you do" Yup. He knows/thinks you are super into him and he's not that into and/or committed to you. Link to comment
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