Ladytmt Posted October 24, 2013 Share Posted October 24, 2013 So i thought i'd try online dating. Started chatting with this guy and gave him my number. We talked on the phone several times but the conversations had no substance to them and i thought he was boring so i stopped talking to him for a while. He contacted me again so i gave it another shot. We discussed meeting and he said he woukd take me out. Well the weekend we planned this came and we wind up meeting in a parking lot as a meet and greet. So after this one meeting he says he wants to get serious im like WHAT!? U don't know me!!! He asked who i talk to on the phone, asks to come to my house late at night and i'm like hell no for what???! he wants me to cook for him, gets mad if i don't answer his calls. This guy has my head twirling, i mean who would go into an instant relationship with a guy that hasn't even taken them on a date!!!! i really think he's looking for someone to use or control..,or maybe he's broke and had no money for a date so he wants me to cook but sorry im not cooking for a man that hasn't earned it i feel like a man should court a woman and date her instead of trying to come and lay around her house i mean geez!!! should i block his number or just tell him to back off?? I know the answer but i had to vent and just want someone to respond and offer any advice or join me in venting Link to comment
puppyturtle Posted October 24, 2013 Share Posted October 24, 2013 Hey just tell him that you don't want that. If he continues to harass you then you can call the police on him. I agree it's kinda creepy that he wants an instant relationship and is asking for all the details of your life. Link to comment
ParisPaulette Posted October 24, 2013 Share Posted October 24, 2013 Yikes! You stop answering his calls, block his number and do not respond no matter what. If he gets scary or stalker-ish call the cops on him and beyond that do not engage. Not even to tell him you aren't interested since the guy's obviously not playing with a full deck to begin with. You can't reason with people like that and your instincts about his real intentions are spot on. Trust your instincts. It's one of the things about dating, you can talk online or over the phone all you want but you won't get any idea of what they're really like until you meet in person. Sometimes you're pleasantly surprised and other times not so much. Link to comment
shellyf62 Posted October 24, 2013 Share Posted October 24, 2013 He sounds like a control freak and it sounds like you have seen this, so well done to you. Block him & don't have any contact with him. Link to comment
NorthDallas40 Posted October 24, 2013 Share Posted October 24, 2013 Yes, No Contact isn't just for exes... it's for creeps as well! This kind of person will receive a text that says "STOP BOTHERING ME YOU A**H*LE" and think "Oh she loves me, she's just playing hard to get!" Block, ignore, and cut off all contact. Link to comment
Kendahke Posted October 24, 2013 Share Posted October 24, 2013 Tell him absolutely nothing!!!! Stop talking to him. Block him and leave him be. He sounds like too much trouble to spend your precious time trying to sort him out. Link to comment
t1lersm0m1 Posted October 24, 2013 Share Posted October 24, 2013 GET. RID. OF. HIM. IMMEDIATELY! No benefit of the doubt. Just get rid of him. That's creepy, weird, and probably DANGEROUS! Link to comment
mbee Posted October 24, 2013 Share Posted October 24, 2013 For the record, with online dating, never meet in a parking lot. When I read that, I immediately tensed up. That reminded me of those stories where people get attacked or kidnapped. Meet at a public venue, and usually coffee dates, dinner or something like that are appropriate first dates/meeting ideas. Please be aware of your own safety when meeting any stranger for the first time. Link to comment
Ladytmt Posted October 24, 2013 Author Share Posted October 24, 2013 Thanks for all the responses and i agree with them all. I haven't heard from him at all today or yesterday... I think i hurt his feelings when i told him what i thought of him if thats what it took then great! I had asked him what he's done for me to deserve me cooking for him and all he could say is "its what i am gonna do" i'm like oh well i won't ever find out. I'm not taking care of a grown man who has done absolutely nothing for me. So this probably hurt his feelings Link to comment
Ladytmt Posted October 24, 2013 Author Share Posted October 24, 2013 For the record, with online dating, never meet in a parking lot. When I read that, I immediately tensed up. That reminded me of those stories where people get attacked or kidnapped. Meet at a public venue, and usually coffee dates, dinner or something like that are appropriate first dates/meeting ideas. Please be aware of your own safety when meeting any stranger for the first time. I met him in a fast food restaurant parking lot so there were people around but i understand what u mean... I didn't like the idea at all.. Other meet and greets i've had have been at coffee shops but i guess this guy was to cheap for coffee. Link to comment
Thorshammer Posted October 24, 2013 Share Posted October 24, 2013 Thats odd, the girl im talking to is already in love with me after our first date- but we talk on the phone everyday all day, and we were intimate already. There in some instability when someone ignores the normal procedure of modern dating, but this guy takes the cake. Link to comment
Ladytmt Posted October 24, 2013 Author Share Posted October 24, 2013 Thats odd, the girl im talking to is already in love with me after our first date- but we talk on the phone everyday all day, and we were intimate already. There in some instability when someone ignores the normal procedure of modern dating, but this guy takes the cake. Yeah he does, i've laughed at him several times when he's said something he thought was serious. But he was so boring on the phone... No personality in his voice and hardly asked me anything about myself as far as likes vs dislikes... Being on the phone with someone like this depresses me!! Example... Me: HEY how are you!!? Him: hey. Me: HOWare u!? Him: good.... And that'll be it lol won't even ask how i'm doing!!! Link to comment
Thorshammer Posted October 24, 2013 Share Posted October 24, 2013 Yeah he does, i've laughed at him several times when he's said something he thought was serious. But he was so boring on the phone... No personality in his voice and hardly asked me anything about myself as far as likes vs dislikes... Being on the phone with someone like this depresses me!! Example... Me: HEY how are you!!? Him: hey. Me: HOWare u!? Him: good.... And that'll be it lol won't even ask how i'm doing!!! The guy probably doesnt have a lot of experience in dating. If they are mid 20s and under, then i wouldnt be surprised. I was that guy when i was 22, i didnt know what to say on the phone, how to talk to girls, and i wanted them to be my gf as soon as i saw them. Some women did hurt me, and if you are laughing at him, then you are probably hurting him too. There is no reason to laugh at someone if they are interested in you, dont blame him for his experiences. This is the reason why i act the way i do when i end up on a date with someone who makes fun of men they met online before me (like ooo my goood, the guy was so shy and he wanted me to be his girl on our first date... hes so weird. You should give him tips!), or how cocky they are- they either get the cold shoulder, or get that phone call the next day telling them that i did enjoy the sex, but i dont think there is much to keep me dating them. Link to comment
Ladytmt Posted October 24, 2013 Author Share Posted October 24, 2013 This guy is 33 and has 2 kids... This is not his first time!!!Sorry but i do think its funny someone wants to be serious after 0 dates and demands to know who i talk with on the phone Link to comment
mbee Posted October 24, 2013 Share Posted October 24, 2013 This guy is 33 and has 2 kids... This is not his first time!!!Sorry but i do think its funny someone wants to be serious after 0 dates and demands to know who i talk with on the phone Egh 33 and too cheap for a coffee date. A few years ago when I was doing online dating, I tried giving people the benefit of the doubt. Basically I gave everyone a chance. Did I meet my next boyfriend this way? Hell no! I did meet my crazy ex-boyfriend online but he met my expectations for online dating, he wasn't some guy I would have passed up because he couldn't afford a proper date or some other ridiculousness. Anyway, me giving people the benefit of the doubt with online dating ONLY wasted my time and made me meet some really crazy folks. The next time a guy says to meet in a parking lot, just say no, and ask them to take you on a proper date somewhere. If they can't do that, then the guy is cheap and inconsiderate. You can do better. Anyway sounds like you know what you are doing so I'm sure I'm preaching to the choir. I just want you to be safe and not waste more time on crazies. Link to comment
Thorshammer Posted October 24, 2013 Share Posted October 24, 2013 This guy is 33 and has 2 kids... This is not his first time!!!Sorry but i do think its funny someone wants to be serious after 0 dates and demands to know who i talk with on the phone OO sorry, i mixed your messages with another post about someone was saying every guy wants to marry them and be serious so fast. Yeah, thats probably his "M.O.". Its an obvious sign of a manipulator. I had a girl act like this with me, she was still married. She wanted to be my gf when we met, and she didnt want me going to bars, she didnt want to hear women around me, etc. She never met with me on dates, she met with me at my house at all times, and refused to go outside- obviously guilt or anxiety had her hiding. Her rushing i assumed was because she knew she couldnt devote too much time to a guy, so she had to snatch him up the few times her husband wasnt around. Link to comment
Mesemene Posted October 24, 2013 Share Posted October 24, 2013 This guy sounds like some of the young women my son has been dealing with - one date, and they want to check his cell for texts and see if he talks to any other females. One date ends up being last date. In an older guy it's even more alarming. While I can put some from just past teenage girls down to immaturity and high school habits - sure can't say the same for a 30+ guy with kids. Control freak much? Sorry, ditch him pronto. Don't take his calls, delete his texts and emails, block what you can of his contacts. He isn't looking for anything except a girl that won't say no - since he can't possibly know enough after a meet in... a parking lot??? Just UGH. Guys know more about mail order brides than he's bothering with. Link to comment
Ladytmt Posted October 25, 2013 Author Share Posted October 25, 2013 Yeah i tried to give this guy the benefit of the doubt in the beginning because i can be picky at times but in this case it just did not EVER feel right. I think he is a control freak and one who wants a woman to take care of him. He wants somebody to do and do and do for him while he does nothing. In one of our phone conversations he said he loved me, i was like u don't know me!! What do u like about me!? All he could say was "you're cute" i'm like thats it huh? Im like yeah like do u think that's all u need for a healthy long lasting relationship?? He couldn't answer!!!! Shocking for a 33 year old guy huh!? Link to comment
Ladytmt Posted October 25, 2013 Author Share Posted October 25, 2013 This guy sounds like some of the young women my son has been dealing with - one date, and they want to check his cell for texts and see if he talks to any other females. One date ends up being last date. In an older guy it's even more alarming. While I can put some from just past teenage girls down to immaturity and high school habits - sure can't say the same for a 30+ guy with kids. Control freak much? Sorry, ditch him pronto. Don't take his calls, delete his texts and emails, block what you can of his contacts. He isn't looking for anything except a girl that won't say no - since he can't possibly know enough after a meet in... a parking lot??? Just UGH. Guys know more about mail order brides than he's bothering with. I agree! This is definitely awful for 33 years old. Asked me several times if he could come to my house! I'm like no!!! For what!? You know i can see it now if he knew where i lived i think he'd stalk me if i didn't answer his calls. Sooo glad he doesn't have my address!!! Link to comment
Ladytmt Posted October 25, 2013 Author Share Posted October 25, 2013 OO sorry, i mixed your messages with another post about someone was saying every guy wants to marry them and be serious so fast. Yeah, thats probably his "M.O.". Its an obvious sign of a manipulator. I had a girl act like this with me, she was still married. She wanted to be my gf when we met, and she didnt want me going to bars, she didnt want to hear women around me, etc. She never met with me on dates, she met with me at my house at all times, and refused to go outside- obviously guilt or anxiety had her hiding. Her rushing i assumed was because she knew she couldnt devote too much time to a guy, so she had to snatch him up the few times her husband wasnt around. Wow, i don't understand some people. The girl u speak off and the guy i speak have serious issues. I've been single 2 years and want to date but i'm not desperate for a guy like this. Like i told another poster i can be picky and thats because i had caught my ex in bed with someone but with this 33 year old guy it just always felt "strange" Link to comment
ParisPaulette Posted October 25, 2013 Share Posted October 25, 2013 (Shakes her head) Wow, after reading some of the other posters experiences here all I can say is there are some messed up people out there. While I do get that someone can feel themselves falling for you after one date and/or love at first sight that's not what you're describing here. That's someone who seems to be reading from a script in his just so he can find out where you live and/or insert himself into your life. If it never felt right the lesson to learn here is to trust your own instincts and just don't bother at all. Personally every time I had that, "Why is this person trying to so hard to be immediately in my life/making demands/giving me a something is wrong" feeling it turned out the person had some other agenda than just that they liked me. Or they had serious problems that just weren't something I wanted to be a part of. Trust your instincts and good that you didn't let the guy know where you lived. Just don't talk to him anymore if he calls or tries to contact you since that will "feed" whatever script or scenario he has going on in his head. Link to comment
Ms Darcy Posted October 25, 2013 Share Posted October 25, 2013 Very creepy. Definitely block him. Link to comment
Ladytmt Posted October 26, 2013 Author Share Posted October 26, 2013 Thanks for the advice. I really think he's trying to control and/or wants me to support him. I often wonder if someone like this is physically abusive. I mean this is just weird... My ex used to take me out all the time before we got in a relationship, i've even had lunch dates with guys, coffee, or even just drinks and an appetizer but absolutely nothing with this guy! Link to comment
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