Weird things in the opposite sex that turn people on

[Thorshammer]

I agree it's creepy.

 

It's basically a man getting off at the idea that he might be able to take advantage of her.

 

Something is not right about that.

 

I think its creepy to come to that conclusion actually.

 

When i like a woman i am her protector, just like my dad is with my mom. There is a lot of sexual energy when a woman trusts me to protect her, she feels protected with me, and yes some women allow themselves to act more this way around me because they want a certain reaction from me. I have only met one person who used the gender stereotype for an advantage, and that was a woman doing that to me (acting overly feminine to attract and make herself more innocent than she was). Its about trust, not everyone lowers their guard for everyone, if she can be taken advantage of, a dominant man would be no different than an emotionally unstable man.

 

Plus, no one said she would be dumb, lack willpower, or was completely misguided in life. Unless you mean taken advantage of in terms of boxing her in the middle of the bedroom.

[Thorshammer]

I have small hands, that are attached to muscular arms (though my fists are huge, and my hands are very strong). I work in hvac (plumbing + electrical and mechanical systems) and i have cuts and scars from wrenches and pipes. Women always say my hands look soft and gentle, even with the rugged look after work. I never cared.

[happpybear]

@allcity, I don't think it is all necessarily black and white, perhaps for really unhealthy situations yes it is, but i think for many couples that give and take of power is hopefully more equitable and falls into more of a grey area.

[allcity]

When i like a woman i am her protector, just like my dad is with my mom.

 

A man being protective of the woman he loves is not the same as a man being turned on by a woman that is nervous and submissive.

 

@allcity, I don't think it is all necessarily black and white, perhaps for really unhealthy situations yes it is, but i think for many couples that give and take of power is hopefully more equitable and falls into more of a grey area.

 

Of course! Absolutely! What's been said in this thread certainly doesn't seem to fall into that category, though. As my comment above indicates.

[Thorshammer]

A man being protective of the woman he loves is not the same as a man being turned on by a woman that is nervous and submissive.

 

Oh, really how so? I highly doubt submission discussed here is meant like she is on her knees begging me to not hurt her... especially when i already stated my case as to what i meant (its not hard to figure out when we are discussing attraction on this post and not about seizing control and doing damage- thats the wrong topic for the wrong post). There is a form of giving control to someone who is better equipped to handle a situation, especially around other men... especially since... uhmmm... i dont know, every time i make an example its based on a situation of protection...

 

And i like how to add nervous to it.. i love how you manage to somehow string two different discussions and posts into one.

[jonny15]

Sorry, but I don't see the need to feel like anyones protector. If she wants protection, she can get a gun or a tazer.

 

I don't find anything sexually attractive about a woman wanting me to protect her. That and i'd be lucky to win a fight aginst a fly.

[allcity]

Oh, really how so?

 

Feeling protective of people you love is a normal feeling that most people have for their family. Feeling turned on by nervous, submissive behaviour is all about sexual power. In your own words...

 

When i get in close for a kiss and they drop their heads and close their eyes as if their bran is overloaded and confused from shyness. This is a greater turn on than anything she could have wore or done.

 

I don't think I'm misreading anything here. Like I said, though, each to their own. There are no personal attacks here. If it works for you and her, then cool. It's just not my thing.

[allcity]

That and i'd be lucky to win a fight aginst a fly.

 

There you go again! Try to think positively about yourself Jonny, for your own sake. Seriously!

[Thorshammer]

Sorry, but I don't see the need to feel like anyones protector. If she wants protection, she can get a gun or a tazer.

 

I don't find anything sexually attractive about a woman wanting me to protect her. That and i'd be lucky to win a fight aginst a fly.

 

Thats all fine and daddy, nothing suits everyone. I only lift a finger for someone i care about, and the last woman i cared for in that level was years ago. I usually do get the "i feel protected in your arms" line... but i wouldnt risk my life for someone who i am not in love with.

 

But, regardless of how people want to spin it, especially for females, all the traits mentioned on this forum about attraction tend to lean towards the "strong" masculine type for a reason. A look through the breakup forums and you notice how the insecure, needy or overly emotional men are being broken up with, they lost their strength and displayed too much unstable emotions that society says is outside the male character. Then we go further into how short men arent as attractive, poor or struggling men have a hard time landing a date, intelligence, social charisma and popularity - these are all "strong" or status/resource traits that hint at strength that shows these traits are beacons for many women accross the world.

 

I dont usually go for submissive women. All gfs i had except for one, made way more money than i did, were educated, and were all independent with their own ground rules and demands. But in bad areas, parties, etc. they came to me when things went out of hand.

[jonny15]

There you go again! Try to think positively about yourself Jonny, for your own sake. Seriously!

 

Sorry, but i'm pretty sure I know my own butt kicking abilities. And they are seriously lacking.

[jonny15]

And all of that crap is social. Sorry, but I shouldn't be defined by what someone is brainwashed to believe. I.E. a guy needing to be tall or have big muscles.

 

We all have emotions and I find it hypocritical that so many women think they are the only ones that can have them. And when I say that, I don't mean crying all over the place, but simply not being secure all the time. Too many women think men are suppose to act like robots. Of course that is because they think we should spend more time making them feel better about themselves than to think about how we feel. We're just suppose to automatically have confidence and self assurance. And if we show an ounce of not being, then we aren't real men. It's a sick double standard.

[Thorshammer]

Feeling protective over people you love is a normal feeling that most people have for their family. Feeling turned on by nervous, submissive behaviour is all about sexual power. In your own words...

 

 

 

I don't think I'm misreading anything here. Like I said, though, each to their own. There are no personal attacks here. If it works for you and her, then cool. It's just not my thing.

 

Yes it is a turn on, because shes shy and nervous around me on a date, the actual example was about a first date... why string that into an example about submission? Dominant people can be shy and nervous. The girl i used for this example made me nervous and shy on our first date.

 

And yes, you questioned what i said... yet failed to realize i was talking about extreme cases of gender stereotypes as an example to a post relating to PROTECTION as the topic, and strung it along to scratch a point to say... "A man being protective of the woman he loves is not the same as a man being turned on by a woman that is nervous and submissive." Two different posts.., and even then the woman i used for that example was no where near as submissive, and the example was situation(al) based on me protecting her in a situation... again... what does that have to do with her being nervous or shy on a date which turns me on?

[happpybear]

And all of that crap is social. Sorry, but I shouldn't be defined by what someone is brainwashed to believe. I.E. a guy needing to be tall or have big muscles.

 

We all have emotions and I find it hypocritical that so many women think they are the only ones that can have them. And when I say that, I don't mean crying all over the place, but simply not being secure all the time. Too many women think men are suppose to act like robots. Of course that is because they think we should spend more time making them feel better about themselves than to think about how we feel. We're just suppose to automatically have confidence and self assurance. And if we show an ounce of not being, then we aren't real men. It's a sick double standard.

 

as a woman, who knows lots of woman, i can safely say that most woman WANT a man that is not a emotionless or "robotic". Men who can show a little tenderness, vulnerability and emotion are definitely in high demand. Men who are in touch with who they are (as a human being that feels emotion) will win over a man that is trying to attain some sort of hyper-manliness ideal.

[happpybear]

Yes it is a turn on, because shes shy and nervous around me on a date, the actual example was about a first date... why string that into an example about submission? Dominant people can be shy and nervous. The girl i used for this example made me nervous and shy on our first date.

 

This is how I understood your initial post as well. I find it attractive when men are nervous or shy on a date with me, it's attractive because it shows that he is sweet and humble. People vacillate between being confident and un-confident, i don't necessarily see it as a sign of submission or dominance

[Thorshammer]

And all of that crap is social. Sorry, but I shouldn't be defined by what someone is brainwashed to believe. I.E. a guy needing to be tall or have big muscles.

 

We all have emotions and I find it hypocritical that so many women think they are the only ones that can have them. And when I say that, I don't mean crying all over the place, but simply not being secure all the time. Too many women think men are suppose to act like robots. Of course that is because they think we should spend more time making them feel better about themselves than to think about how we feel. We're just suppose to automatically have confidence and self assurance. And if we show an ounce of not being, then we aren't real men. It's a sick double standard.

 

Yes it is, we arent allowed to be needy and insecure as much as they. We have to keep our emotions in check, i lost many because i failed to heed this. I always keep my phone on for close friends who have no emotional outlet because they dont want to be criticized. My phone blew up when i gave my number out to posters on the breakup forums who said they have no one to hear them out, and its easier to talk to someone they might never meet. Women can have their social groups an cry it out, we cant. I used to get together and we would drink and talk about the new women we would get, while inside we know we only want her (but wont say it).

 

But, you don become robotic. Thats unattractive for any gender. As much as people want to disagree, as someone who is out in the dating world, you have to be the masculine figure to control anything that falls way too far out of the stereotype of keeping everything tight and protected.

[jonny15]

This is how I understood your initial post as well. I find it attractive when men are nervous or shy on a date with me, it's attractive because it shows that he is sweet and humble. People vacillate between being confident and un-confident, i don't necessarily see it as a sign of submission or dominance

 

You seem to be few and far inbetween.

 

Most women don't want a guy that seems nervous. Which is something I am all the time.

 

It's expected that we always act confident and in control of every situation. Otherwise, we can't protect them.

[allcity]

@Thorshammer

 

Turned on = Sexual feelings

Nervousness, shyness etc = Feelings of timidity, social fear etc

 

If you can't re-read through all your posts in this thread and see how you're clearly a guy that's turned on when women fall into stereotypically 'female' roles, then I don't know what else I can say really.

 

You even said you get turned on by watching a woman cook for you. That one speaks for itself so loudly I won't even go near it.

 

As I said (twice), if people here get turned on by this stuff then all power to them (no pun intended). To think that it's not about sexual power, however minor, though, is not honest or true. It's not a big deal either way. I just said that this kind of thing is not a turn on for me.

 

Many people, including me, would look at someone that was really nervous or shy on a date and see it as sweet, endearing or maybe even just plain awkward. That doesn't mean we'd judge them or dislike them for it. But there's a HUGE difference between that and being actively turned on by it, though.

[jonny15]

Yes it is, we arent allowed to be needy and insecure as much as they. We have to keep our emotions in check, i lost many because i failed to heed this.

 

It's not right tho that, that is how it is. Not that i'm one to express my emotions to people. Atleast no insecurities. But if we can't, then they shouldn't either.

 

I always keep my phone on for close friends who have no emotional outlet because they dont want to be criticized. My phone blew up when i gave my number out to posters on the breakup forums who said they have no one to hear them out, and its easier to talk to someone they might never meet. Women can have their social groups an cry it out, we cant. I used to get together and we would drink and talk about the new women we would get, while inside we know we only want her (but wont say it).

 

I agree. Women have their groups. We just have forums like this.

 

Alot of people may complain that guys come on forums like this and complain. But we have no other outlet to do it with. If we do this with a woman, we will be critizised for not acting like a man. I.E being confident and showing no insecurities at all.

[Thorshammer]

Uhmmm no... you are trying to be Dr. Phil. and i am telling you they are two different things and topics that you are trying to put together. You can just ask me... but you want to act like you are promoting for a show.

 

How about asking me... "do you like women you can completely dominate, thor? I know you said you like to take control of hostile situations, and it turns the woman on, and you like when women get nervous and chatty on a date... does that mean you like to dominate her because shes a female... i know i am stretching here... but i liked to ask before i stack up things from different posts.. also, do you like geeky women and women with pointy ears because you have a fetish for elves... because i want to string that together too?"

 

I like all types of women by the way. I dated a marine and svp once... it didnt work out, but boooooy can they coooook.

[happpybear]

Most women don't want a guy that seems nervous. Which is something I am all the time.

 

Nervous on a first date, or in specific situations is fine. Nervous all the time, no. Everyone needs to have some level of confidence in themselves in order to attract and keep a partner, men and women alike. If you are suffering from anxiety to the point that you are nervous all the time, maybe talking things through with a therapist might help you build some confidence.

[happpybear]

oh. this thread is getting weird, and judgy

 

Let's bring it back on topic so it won't be closed!!

 

So allcity, since we know what you don't like...what DO you like, what weird thing in the opposite sex turns you on?

[jonny15]

Nervous on a first date, or in specific situations is fine. Nervous all the time, no. Everyone needs to have some level of confidence in themselves in order to attract and keep a partner, men and women alike. If you are suffering from anxiety to the point that you are nervous all the time, maybe talking things through with a therapist might help you build some confidence.

 

I'm rather nervous in general.

 

Never had a first date. But I could only imagine how nervous I would be. LOL

 

I can't copy and paste anything, but hopefully people know what i'm talking about when I mentioned those glasses.

 

Blacked rimmed and kinda pointy on the ends....drools.

[Thorshammer]

It's not right tho that, that is how it is. Not that i'm one to express my emotions to people. Atleast no insecurities. But if we can't, then they shouldn't either.

 

 

 

I agree. Women have their groups. We just have forums like this.

 

Alot of people may complain that guys come on forums like this and complain. But we have no other outlet to do it with. If we do this with a woman, we will be critizised for not acting like a man. I.E being confident and showing no insecurities at all.

 

Well, there is another side... if a woman wants to sleep around, shes labeled as outside the norm, playing out of character, or mentally unstable. If she is successful shes considered other mean words and perceived in other negative light. Modern society is changing, there isnt need for a man to gather into strong social groups to hunt food and protect the tribe, so some men seem to be lost somewhere in the middle- and they feel left behind, or "dont get it".

[jonny15]

Well, there is another side... if a woman wants to sleep around, shes labeled as outside the norm, playing out of character, or mentally unstable. If she is successful shes considered other mean words and perceived in other negative light. Modern society is changing, there isnt need for a man to gather into strong social groups to hunt food and protect the tribe, so some men seem to be lost somewhere in the middle- and they feel left behind, or "dont get it".

 

She also doesn't have to tell anyone she's slept with a bunch of people either.

 

If a guy says he's a virgin and it isn't because he's saving it for the right person, then he's labeled a freak since most women assume men have tons of chances like they do.

[allcity]

@Thorshammer

 

Again I'll just say all power to you and your choices if they make both you and your dates happy and lead to successful long-term relationships for you. That's all that matters. The rest is just differing views of the same situation.

 

It's only if you're not having successful and happy long-term relationships that you'd maybe need to take a look at yourself and what you find attractive. As we all should.

 

@HappyBear

 

Call me boring, but I can't think of a single weird thing that turns me on. I'm just into the usual things like confidence, strength, kindness, a positive attitude, a fun personality, plenty of self-awareness etc.

 

I guess that's why this thread seems so odd to me. I don't see any judgement, though. I've gone out of my way to say that as long as the results bring a healthy happiness to everyone involved, then that's all that matters.

 

That doesn't mean I can't express my lack of understanding and/or the fact that some of the turn-ons here are huge turn-offs for me.