Can't see past the anger anymore...

[Batya33]

"I don't know. There's always going to be a part of me that wants to reach out, wants to have something better, wants to change, but I just won't allow any of that to happen for myself."

 

Then you've made your choice. We all have "parts" of us that would like certain things to be different. But all that matters is what action you take. You've chosen inaction.

[MattW]

Then you've made your choice. We all have "parts" of us that would like certain things to be different. But all that matters is what action you take. You've chosen inaction.

 

Well, I don't know how to make myself choose anything else. I just can't get a grip on myself.

[penelope13]

You could try to force yourself to do something that you may not like, but that your logic should tell you will be better for you in the long run ...

[Batya33]

Well, I don't know how to make myself choose anything else. I just can't get a grip on myself.

 

So since you seem to want advice (the point of this thread) the advice you've been given is above (as one of probably 100 examples, without exaggeration I think, is Penelope's).

I'll let you in on a secret -when my 4 year old repeats what he wants more than two or three times, or repeats his same complaint more than two times (like "It's too hard for me" or "I can't do it" -when it's clearly not) I simply ignore him -either I say nothing or I change the subject. It's fairly effective and of course my long term goal is that he doesn't get any benefit from complaining and doesn't grow into a regular complainer.

 

It's gorgeous weather where I am today. How is the weather where you are?

[allcity]

Well, I don't know how to make myself choose anything else. I just can't get a grip on myself.

 

SEEK. PROFESSIONAL. ADVICE!

 

Which part of the 23 pages of advice you've been given (and consistently ignored) don't you understand?!? Jeez! What's your deal? Seriously!

[Rosti87]

I agree wholeheartedly on this one. You can't receive what you can't give.

[Rosti87]

SEEK. PROFESSIONAL. ADVICE!

 

Which part of the 23 pages of advice you've been given (and consistently ignored) don't you understand?!? Jeez! What's your deal? Seriously!

 

At this point, I'm not sure whether this thread has turned into a attention seeking exercise. A smoke screen or distraction from doing what needs to be done: Seeking professional help. It is time to stop complaining and do something about your situation. There are people out here who have more challenges than you have regarding dating (i.e., short people, disabled people, burn victims, some minorities, you name it) challenges that they can do nothing about but find a way to maximize their chances. The majority of your challenges can be changed yet you continuously wallow in your situation.

 

Go out and do something about your situation. You actually can control the vast majority of your obstacles. It is time to do something about it and not feel sorry for yourself. Start by seeking professional help.

[MattW]

See, I find the idea of therapy to be "scary" for many reasons. For one, I don't really trust it or believe in it. I don't see how it could help me.

 

Secondly, it's going to be an investment, and I don't want to invest money into something that ultimately does nothing for me. Even if therapy can help me, I'd probably have to invest years doing therapy, and that equates to a ton of money, money I'm not sure I'll be able to account for.

 

And deep down, like someone else said, there's a part of me that's afraid therapy WILL help me, because that part of me doesn't want me to be happy, that part of me wants me to suffer and be miserable.

[Capricorn3]

I am sure that we can all agree that going by the huge frustration shown by many members here that this thread has run it's course as it is going in endless circles and the OP admits he will NOT seek professional help. No more point in going on ad nauseum anymore.

 

Thread Closed.