Dougie_D Posted July 5, 2013 Share Posted July 5, 2013 Tonight, I went to a bar solo. Saw 3 girls in a corner. I got the CONFIDENCE to talk to them. I made a brief conversation and then bolted. I went outside and told myself "you just ended the conversation" I have done this a lot... SO, I go back and tell them, sorry for the brief run, "I had a phone call to catch" and I introduced myself.. I ended up talking to all 3. Then I isolated a girl that I was interested in. Some random guy comes up and starts making moves with 1 of them. That was awkward, but he eventually got all that girls attention. I am more a conversation guy and try to get everyone involved. Now, I'm talking to both girls. Then MY girl starts texting. She goes to bathroom. I end up talking to the girl I'm not interested in, but whatever. Then my girl comes back and it just seems difficult to get everyone involved. The "blocker" is making moves with the other chick. They end up MAKING OUT! He also bought the drink that I had tried to suggest the girls to get. I don't buy girls drinks anymore. So you know, she was definitely interested in my drink. I eventually go MY girls number. But my question is: Because I didn't make out with the girl I liked, do I have less of a chance now? Do girls expect to make out with guys they randomly meet now? I don't want "MY" girl to feel like she didn't have a good time because her friend made out and she didn't. I thought that even asking for a number was a big deal. Guess not???? Link to comment
Dougie_D Posted July 5, 2013 Author Share Posted July 5, 2013 The girl also said she was "buzzed" after she gave her number. What does that mean? "Hey, I'm drunk, so I'm just giving out my number to be nice but don't ever contact me?" Link to comment
nutbrownhare Posted July 5, 2013 Share Posted July 5, 2013 More to the point, do you want to meet the kind of girl who makes out with strangers she's only known for a few minutes? Or would you rather show a girl that you respect and want to get to know her before that kind of contact? It depends what you're looking for; if it's a casual hookup and you don't want to see her again, then the predatory tactics used by the other guy are as good as any. If you're looking for something more enduring, then just stay as you are. Link to comment
RedDress Posted July 5, 2013 Share Posted July 5, 2013 - The girl who made out with that guy will probably not hear from that guy again. They had chemistry... they had fun... they enjoyed the moment. Don't judge. No... it's not expected, but it does happen from time to time. - I think your policy to never buy girls drinks anymore is a strange one. You don't have to go around and buy a bunch of girls drinks. But if you are really hitting it off with ONE, you could have bought her just one drink to show your interest. I'm not saying that you have to in any way - but to sit and talk to them, then suggest drinks they should buy sounds kind of awkward. Alternately, don't talk about drinks - talk about something else. - Who knows what the girl meant when she gave you her number. Maybe she meant that she didn't really want to be giving it. Maybe she was trying to demonstrate that she normally doesn't just give out her number. Maybe it was just something to say in the nervous awkwardness after giving her number. But who cares? She gave you her number, you should call it (with a plan for a date). If she is or is not interested, you'll find out soon enough. No more over-analyzing. Call the number. Link to comment
elsenyor Posted July 5, 2013 Share Posted July 5, 2013 when it comes down to it she gave you the number, actions mean more than words when it comes to flirting and making moves. action: she gave you the number action 2: she will either answer or not, if she doesn't give it 1 more go a few days later, and then if she still doesn't, action says she's not interested. there isn't much more to it. Link to comment
annie24 Posted July 5, 2013 Share Posted July 5, 2013 call her and ask her on a date! Link to comment
epsilon2x Posted July 5, 2013 Share Posted July 5, 2013 I don't think most people (men or women) go to bars to start a relationship or find a date. They usually go to just have fun for the night. With that being said, I personally find it 10,000 times easier to have a one night stand with a girl I meet at a bar than it is to try to call her when we're both sober. I've had great conversation with a bajillion girls at bars and have made out with somewhere around 500 (it's an estimate). I've had night where I made out with 7 different girls but that's because I get ADD with girls when I'm drinking and lose interest pretty fast. My point is, that out of those 500 or so, I've had more one night stands than dates with those girls because they usually don't want anything more than one night of fun in that type of scenario. I'm proud of you for making progress and getting the number. If you're looking for a relationship from a bar, my advice is to try to take them home with you. At least that way you both wake up sober and can eat breakfast (or lunch depending on how rough the night was) and see if there's still any spark, otherwise, look for dates in a sober environment. Link to comment
ParisPaulette Posted July 5, 2013 Share Posted July 5, 2013 Yeah, most of my friends never started making out with some random guy at a bar self included. I'd chalk that up to one-time behavior for that particular woman and not try to overthink that that's what all girls want. Although yeah, bars are generally terrible places to meet anyone who is relationship material. Link to comment
annie24 Posted July 5, 2013 Share Posted July 5, 2013 Hehe. In my early 20s, I was a queen of making out in the bars. Surprisingly, it never led to a relationship, but it was fun at the time lol. I'm not really like that anymore. More mature in my 30s and all... Link to comment
Cognitive_Canine Posted July 5, 2013 Share Posted July 5, 2013 I've never made out with a guy I just met or anything like that. That is something I'd like to do at least once though. Sounds like that friend just wanted a fun time? I wouldn't think too much of it. Call up your girl. Link to comment
Realitynut Posted July 5, 2013 Share Posted July 5, 2013 WOW...how times have changed! Link to comment
happpybear Posted July 6, 2013 Share Posted July 6, 2013 i don't know many woman ho just start making out with random guys, My friends, when we were that age were not like that, however, we knew the odd girl that was, so it isn't uncommon. but i would say no, most girls probably do not expect or want to make-out with a strange dude whilst drunk. Link to comment
Dougie_D Posted July 7, 2013 Author Share Posted July 7, 2013 Well, I should have known better. Get the number thursday. Friday I small chat/text with her. Today, I asked her out out on a date. She replies, "thanks for invite, but I have boyfriend." Cool girl. Thanks for letting me know afterwards. Link to comment
Slimpee Posted July 7, 2013 Share Posted July 7, 2013 Hey i think you made progress! No, you didnt get a hookup or date from it but you approached her cold, got her number, and called to ask her out. This one didn't work out but you did all you could. Keep at it and it will work out sometime! Link to comment
annie24 Posted July 7, 2013 Share Posted July 7, 2013 Definitely! It's great that you tried! Link to comment
jonny15 Posted July 7, 2013 Share Posted July 7, 2013 I don't think most are just gonna randomly make out with some guy at a bar, unless they are already drunk. And the guys that probably get the sober ones to do it are probably very attractive. Link to comment
blueidealist24 Posted July 8, 2013 Share Posted July 8, 2013 Well, I should have known better. Get the number thursday. Friday I small chat/text with her. Today, I asked her out out on a date. She replies, "thanks for invite, but I have boyfriend." Cool girl. Thanks for letting me know afterwards. Your approach was still correct. If you had just started trying to make out with her and she wasn't the type of girl who makes out with guys she just met, or she wasn't attracted to you, she would have been like WHOA THERE.. and you never would have got the number. Link to comment
Dougie_D Posted July 8, 2013 Author Share Posted July 8, 2013 Your approach was still correct. If you had just started trying to make out with her and she wasn't the type of girl who makes out with guys she just met, or she wasn't attracted to you, she would have been like WHOA THERE.. and you never would have got the number. You forgot the "boyfriend" part. I would think that getting a girls number is similar to trying to make out with a girl..but apparently it's not. Girls that have boyfriends should not give out numbers. She obviously did. She "apparently" has a boyfriend. I don't think she has a boyfriend. Why girls have to sugercoat not being interested in a guy is not a very good tactic. We DON"T want to BE YOUR FRIENDS!!!!!! No guy does!!!! Until we know our PLACE! Link to comment
ejd Posted July 8, 2013 Share Posted July 8, 2013 You forgot the "boyfriend" part. I would think that getting a girls number is similar to trying to make out with a girl..but apparently it's not. Girls that have boyfriends should not give out numbers. She obviously did. She "apparently" has a boyfriend. I don't think she has a boyfriend. Why girls have to sugercoat not being interested in a guy is not a very good tactic. We DON"T want to BE YOUR FRIENDS!!!!!! No guy does!!!! Until we know our PLACE! Some girls give out their number quite liberally. And, many girls do indeed find a way to mention their "boyfriend" in the conversation as a polite rejection. It doesn't matter if he really exists or not. You've done well by putting yourself out there and going after what you want. I'm proud of you. I'm a work in progress myself, so I understand where you're coming from. Are you at least a decent-looking guy? If so - you probaly just need some minor tweaks to your wardrobe, and potentially an attitude adjustment. I have read a few of your posts, and believe me, women can tell when you're not confident around them. I'm a good-looking guy, own a house, have a great job, etc, etc, but I still didn't think I was good enough to land certain girls. And, I used it as an excuse to avoid them altogether. Then, another friend would tell me that I could easily date them if I chose to. Then, and only then did I approach them. But, you have to believe it wholeheartedly; it's not something you can feign convincingly. It took A LOT of my friend's time to make me realize it was me who needed a paradigm shift. Trust me, the only difference between you and the guy who ended up hooking up with that girl is that he was confident around her, and you weren't. In a dating book I read, the author refers to the (bad) approach of pretending to be a girl's friend as "the friend ploy." I think most of us have been guilty of this at one time or another. It sucks! But, do you know who doesn't do this? Men who are good with women. I have a friend in a fairly successful band who does extremely well with the ladies. Anyways, he was brutally honest with me, and said he was sick of making the same mistakes over and over again with women. Fortuntely, he was able to help me adjust my approach so I at least was putting myself out there in the potential lover category, and to make my intentions known. Oh, and I make sure the girl knows I'm asking her on a date. There is a huge grey area between "hanging out" with a girl, and actually "taking out" a girl. Link to comment
Cognitive_Canine Posted July 8, 2013 Share Posted July 8, 2013 You forgot the "boyfriend" part. I would think that getting a girls number is similar to trying to make out with a girl..but apparently it's not. Girls that have boyfriends should not give out numbers. She obviously did. She "apparently" has a boyfriend. I don't think she has a boyfriend. Why girls have to sugercoat not being interested in a guy is not a very good tactic. We DON"T want to BE YOUR FRIENDS!!!!!! No guy does!!!! Until we know our PLACE! Because we're taught to be as nice as possible. We want to hurt feelings as little as we can. Also, it's less confrontational. Taken! End of debate! Rather than men trying to talk to you into going out with them even though you've rejected them. Link to comment
blueidealist24 Posted July 9, 2013 Share Posted July 9, 2013 You forgot the "boyfriend" part. I would think that getting a girls number is similar to trying to make out with a girl..but apparently it's not. Girls that have boyfriends should not give out numbers. She obviously did. She "apparently" has a boyfriend. I don't think she has a boyfriend. Why girls have to sugercoat not being interested in a guy is not a very good tactic. We DON"T want to BE YOUR FRIENDS!!!!!! No guy does!!!! Until we know our PLACE! Well, you're right that she shouldn't have given the number out if she actually has a boyfriend (she may not.. I've told guys that if I wasn't interested in them or didn't feel like dating at all at the time). She might have acted against her better judgment though because she was drunk. Link to comment
exscuba Posted July 10, 2013 Share Posted July 10, 2013 WOW...how times have changed! I know, I´m 44 now and man, how things have changed since my 20´s. Link to comment
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