pnoy Posted April 16, 2013 Share Posted April 16, 2013 Hi all, iam really confused my ex contacted me his mum and i are still freinds on facebook and he contacted me through her facebook, i replied to him and we spoke on the phone he said you dont realise what youve got until youve lost it! we chatted about what we have both been up too he said he would take me out this thursday so we could catch up so i said that would be nice, so since last week we have been texting and ringing each other now and then and while we were talking, last tuesday he was saying he hasnt got much money so i said well we dont really have to go out with money being tight so he said maybe you can come to mine over the weekend, meaning weekend just gone i said ok so weekend came i didnt hear anything from him on friday then saturday came it was about 5.30 pm and i still hadnt heard anything so i text him saying hope your ok what ya been up to etc, he then rang me we chatted all very nice i said you sound like your getting a cold he said no i was out last night having a drink with freinds and lost my voice singing, i then said oh iam going out tonight as he never mentioned us meeting up, he said have a nice night, he then txt me saying if you change your mind and dont go out then come to mine i txt back saying sorry that would have been nice but iam going out as its my brothers birthday he text back saying have a nice night Anyway that was saturday and i havent heard anything since am i worrying over nothing? is he playing mind games with me or should i wait until thursday to see if he contacts me to take me out any advice please i fel very confused Link to comment
Ms Darcy Posted April 16, 2013 Share Posted April 16, 2013 You are kind of interacting with him as if you want to date him. I think he's moreso strolling down memory lane than looking for something serious with you. What do you want? Link to comment
mhowe Posted April 16, 2013 Share Posted April 16, 2013 He is ringing you up for a booty call. He forgot/had been drinking when he asked you out. Then said he had no money -- which means not a date... He is not playing mind games -- he is calling to hook up. Link to comment
pnoy Posted April 16, 2013 Author Share Posted April 16, 2013 he said can we meet up and see were we go that he had missed me, he said he didnt realise there were so many stupid women out there and that he had everything when he was with me and yes i do want a date with him! Link to comment
pnoy Posted April 16, 2013 Author Share Posted April 16, 2013 no he hadnt been drinking when he first initiated the call to me Link to comment
Ms Darcy Posted April 16, 2013 Share Posted April 16, 2013 I mean, it's pretty clear that he's already putting you on the backburner, but if you really want to pursue it then tell him that you'd be happy to talk with him again in person. Then stop the phone chatting/texting. If he doesn't step up to ask you out/follow through, then you have your answer. Link to comment
pnoy Posted April 16, 2013 Author Share Posted April 16, 2013 he has no job because of illness, he was just saying money is a bit tight and when he gets his social security he wants to take me out and see were we go with the relationship Link to comment
freewill1234 Posted April 16, 2013 Share Posted April 16, 2013 Let him chase you now. You've made a little mistake already by texting him when you didn't hear anything from him. Do not change the life you have built since you stopped seeing him. Do not go out of your way for him if you already have plans. You run the show now. Eventually through this, you will understand what he's looking for. As long as you make yourself available, he'll string you along and probably disappear again. Unfortunately, it's a game you have to play for now. Link to comment
happyfrank Posted April 16, 2013 Share Posted April 16, 2013 Sounds like disappearing act to me. Whatever problems he had before he could of resolved them and realized how much he likes you. Just wait for him to contact you. Seems like he will contact you regarding thursday. Link to comment
pnoy Posted April 16, 2013 Author Share Posted April 16, 2013 i have no intention of contacting him the ball is in his court now i have done my bit if he doesnt contact me then of course i will know i hate stupid mind games Link to comment
wolflovesmoon Posted April 16, 2013 Share Posted April 16, 2013 you shared too much too son, and now he know where you stand, so either he is gathering him self to make the next move, or he is forging, either he gets something or not he knows you are out there, accessible and available, there is something we call budget plans, save some for the date,, etc, beside this if he was really really wanting to see you, he could just take you to a date, and to hell with the money, but that`s only my opinion, now just take the back sit and let him initiate contact again, if he sound serious and deep down you want things to do that way, then go with it, if not you will know what to do Link to comment
Mike80 Posted April 16, 2013 Share Posted April 16, 2013 He is ringing you up for a booty call. He forgot/had been drinking when he asked you out. Then said he had no money -- which means not a date... He is not playing mind games -- he is calling to hook up. haha, same thought came to mind "hey you wanna go out?" "sure!" "ohhhhhhh....damn. I dont have any money. Why dont you just....y'know...come over." he's just looking to hook up, hon. Link to comment
itsallgrand Posted April 16, 2013 Share Posted April 16, 2013 I'd be very careful. I will bet he will contact you again. But when he does, it would be good if you knew what you are looking for from this and to listen to what he is saying (saying with words and with actions). So far, he has put just a tiny bit of effort to reconnect with you, and he now knows you are open to seeing him. He also knows you still have some feelings for him. He may be sniffing around for any number of things. He might even just be bored and wanting to see where you are at. If he still has an "in". But since you still have feelings and want to date him again, it is you who has more to lose here. SO you direct that pace and or interaction. No mind games. Just straight up tell him what you want. If he isn't interested, personally, I'd cut him off. Not leave a door open for him to stroll through whenever and however he pleases. You decide whether he can toy with you or not. Based on what he has 'given' so far, I'd lock the door. Why are you so open to dating him again right now? Serious question. Did you ever move on from him? I'd worry less about him and what he wants here, and more about you. Why did you break up in the first place? Why is he allowed to stroll into your life so casually now? Link to comment
pnoy Posted April 16, 2013 Author Share Posted April 16, 2013 it was actually stupid me who said dont worry if you have no money we dont have to go out i said it because i felt sorry for him becuse he has no money. maybe i have just blew my chance Link to comment
mhowe Posted April 16, 2013 Share Posted April 16, 2013 You didn't have a chance to begin with. He calls and asks if you want to do something. When you agree -- he states he has no money. Implying that either you pay for him, or you go over to "hang out". Then he "forgets" he asked you to come over? Come on ---- open your eyes. Link to comment
pnoy Posted April 16, 2013 Author Share Posted April 16, 2013 we broke up because of his back problems he was very depressed and i think it got both of us down i changed my number moved house and tried to move on i would never have contacted him but when he contacted me i just didnt want to ignore him were in our 40"s and life to short Link to comment
mhowe Posted April 16, 2013 Share Posted April 16, 2013 You didn't ignore him -- you agreed. And he never go back to you. Link to comment
pnoy Posted April 16, 2013 Author Share Posted April 16, 2013 NO he didnt forget iam sorry i even came here to ask advice all so negative Link to comment
pnoy Posted April 16, 2013 Author Share Posted April 16, 2013 he initiated the contact not me, i just replied back Link to comment
Edmund Exley Posted April 16, 2013 Share Posted April 16, 2013 he has no job because of illness, he was just saying money is a bit tight and when he gets his social security he wants to take me out and see were we go with the relationship Yet he had money to go out drinking. I agree with the others, he isn't being fair with your time. Leave the ball in his court. Link to comment
Edmund Exley Posted April 16, 2013 Share Posted April 16, 2013 NO he didnt forget iam sorry i even came here to ask advice all so negative Well, I dont think its been negative, just not what you were hoping to here. Link to comment
itsallgrand Posted April 16, 2013 Share Posted April 16, 2013 we broke up because of his back problems he was very depressed and i think it got both of us down i changed my number moved house and tried to move on i would never have contacted him but when he contacted me i just didnt want to ignore him were in our 40"s and life to short I gotcha. So you are hoping he has come back to get back together, right? ANd you thought, if you didn't let him know how interested you were, you would blow your chances and regret it? "life is too short". But has any of what was there before that broke you up been solved? Link to comment
mhowe Posted April 16, 2013 Share Posted April 16, 2013 so he said maybe you can come to mine over the weekend, meaning weekend just gone i said ok so weekend came i didnt hear anything How is that not forgetting? I get he contacted you. And then said he didn't have any money. And that he was out the night before with friends...drinking and singing. What you are refusing to see is that besides his initial contact, he hasn't followed up at all. Link to comment
pnoy Posted April 16, 2013 Author Share Posted April 16, 2013 what i wrote isnt word for word, it was him saying i would love to take you out but will have to wait until next week until i get my money it was ME who said dont worry we dont have to go out not HIM Link to comment
pnoy Posted April 16, 2013 Author Share Posted April 16, 2013 so what is everyone suggesting i tell him to piss off, he then says whats your problem i said i would take you out this week, then i will look the lunatic Link to comment
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