keeptrying Posted April 10, 2013 Share Posted April 10, 2013 every day we have this problem, im "moody" in the mornings, im just really quiet for the first 10-15 minutes that im "waking up" i know it sounds stupid but its something i cant help, and ive tried to hard to change it. I suffer from extremely bad night terrors, i wake up screaming all the time and i sleep talk pretty much all night. when i get up all i can think about is everything that happened overnight in my head, im not talkative i just kinda sit there, my boyfriend is a morning person, he wakes up so cheery and i dont. Im not mean to him or anything im just quiet. im otherwise a normal loving girl to my partner, i really want to stop being so "dead" in the mornings but i just cant figure out how to stop it. Hes unemployed so hes always there in the mornings, i feel like it wouldnt be a problem if both of us had to get up and go to work since we wouldnt be in eachothers faces, i dont know what to do im really angry at myself for letting my moody mornings affect my relationship so much, weve been together for 5 years and i dont want to separate over this, please help me Link to comment
annie24 Posted April 10, 2013 Share Posted April 10, 2013 can't you go and be alone for the first 15 minutes in the morning? go to the kitchen and drink some coffee. tell your boyfriend that you just need a bit of time in the morning before you can be chipper. Link to comment
Capricorn3 Posted April 10, 2013 Share Posted April 10, 2013 I don't understand why this has to be such an issue. There are millions of people in the world who aren't "morning people". I am one of them too. My husband is the "wide awake" one. My sister is a morning person, her husband is not. My mother is a morning person, my dad is not. We just all accept it and carry on. There's no need for it to be an issue (imo). So, you're quiet in the morning, no big deal - I don't see that as being "moody". I would be surprised if this ends a relationship. Yikes. Link to comment
LikeWater Posted April 10, 2013 Share Posted April 10, 2013 Why is it such a major problem and why would it be something that would be the cause for separation? Not everyone is a morning person. I'm sure as hell not, and I have to take that time to wake up as well. If he can't understand that you're just not going to be all cheery and wonderful as soon as you wake up, then he's just not a very understanding person. Link to comment
keeptrying Posted April 10, 2013 Author Share Posted April 10, 2013 your all making the exact same argument that i make to him. As soon as he hears our bedroom door open he rushes upstairs to come see me (he doesnt work and he normally wakes up before me) so i cant just be alone for the first 10 minutes im awake. I dont feel that me being quiet in the mornings should be a problem, its only 15 minutes of our day. He calls me a zombie and tells me he can easily go find a girlfriend that is cheery and happy in the mornings. I was his first girlfriend and think he just doesn't understands women even after 5 years with one Link to comment
LikeWater Posted April 10, 2013 Share Posted April 10, 2013 He calls me a zombie and tells me he can easily go find a girlfriend that is cheery and happy in the mornings. This is a crappy thing to say, and borderline controlling. A person that's fit to be in relationships realizes their SO isn't going to be the embodiment of what they consider perfect. Your SOs are going to do and say things at times that you don't agree with, or that kinda get on your nerves. You have to learn to not let the tiny little insignificant things bother and accept them as they are, which is what he needs to do with you. It's wrong to threaten your SO by saying, "You know, it might be a good idea to change *insert tiny insignificant issue here* or I can easily find a girlfriend who can." You're not doing anything wrong here and there's nothing for you to fix. He needs to accept that you're not a morning person like he is and that you're going to need that tiny amount of time to wake up in the morning, and if he can't, then I guess he'll have to leave. I think it's especially ridiculous for him to say something like that when you're his first girlfriend. He's bluffing and you should call it. Link to comment
poetryandlyrics Posted April 10, 2013 Share Posted April 10, 2013 My advice is when he says he can easily find another girl like that, just say: "Okay, do it." That was a very disrespectful thing to say. Link to comment
annie24 Posted April 10, 2013 Share Posted April 10, 2013 My advice is when he says he can easily find another girl like that, just say: "Okay, do it." That was a very disrespectful thing to say. yeah, seriously! Link to comment
ParisPaulette Posted April 10, 2013 Share Posted April 10, 2013 Agree with the others. And he should be grateful he's not with someone like me, who honestly if someone said that to me first thing in the morning I fear he'd be wearing the coffee on his head. Tell him maybe you'll have to find a boyfriend who enjoys a peaceful morning of slowly waking up without having control issues or wanting a Stepford wife. Ugh, never been a morning person and never will be. Fortunately the guy I'm with now just makes coffee and leaves me alone and I am soooo grateful. You aren't weird or odd for not waking up chipper, heck I've lived more than five decades and your BF is much more the exception to the rule than you. On a separate issue though I hope you're doing something about the night terrors. They are horrid to have regardless. Link to comment
solamente Posted April 10, 2013 Share Posted April 10, 2013 i agree with everyone. maybe consider staying in your room for 15 minutes to have your quiet time, then he wont even know you are awake. but, really, he is being a douche bag about this. Link to comment
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