Would you date somebody who worked as a janitor/custodian/cleaner?

[Natasha24]

Definitely. I don't care what someone's job is.

 

This may sound like an odd story since this thread is about dating, but my dad worked a lot of crummy jobs in the past. He went to college and had a good paying job, but there came a point when there were no trade jobs in our city. He moved around a lot to go where the jobs were, but that cost him more money than he was making. So he moved back home and worked crummy jobs like a taxi driver, a convenience store clerk, etc., until there were more trade jobs again. My dad is an absolutely amazing man, and working those jobs just proves how much he loves his family.

 

I tend not to look down on people's jobs for that reason. You never know someone's situation.

 

Plus, janitors tend to do more than emptying garbages and mopping floors. A lot of them are "handy men" too - fixing lights, broken doors, etc. And I don't consider those things "below" me anyway - I work as a vet assistant and every now and then I have to mop the floor or empty the garbage. It's not the end of the world. They tend to make pretty decent money too. I went to university for 5 years and college for 1 year, and I only make minimum wage. So I can't blame a guy for how much he makes.

[Batya33]

I don't think the question has anything to do with whether a person looks down at someone's job -it's whether a person would date someone with that job. Some people might not date that person because he/she looks down on the job but that's only one of many possible reasons why. I never understand why the assumption is that the person declines to get romantically involved because of a shallow or condescending/arrogant reason.

[itsallgrand]

^Exactly, it is whether you would consider it a deal breaker as far as dating the person. On the simple fact alone that the person works as a janitor.

[lostnscared]

I don't look down on a person's job. Most people had to start at the bottom and some point in life. However when it comes to selecting a mate there are certain things that a person has the right to be selective about. Occupation, financial stability, compatibility, etc. I don't think I'd have much in common with someone who chose to be janitor unless there were some really interesting circumstances around it.

[Doc Blaze]

so what kind of job title guys do you go after?

[rosasnyder811]

I don't look down on a person's job. Most people had to start at the bottom and some point in life. However when it comes to selecting a mate there are certain things that a person has the right to be selective about. Occupation, financial stability, compatibility, etc. I don't think I'd have much in common with someone who chose to be janitor unless there were some really interesting circumstances around it.

 

Just because someone chose to be a janitor doesn't mean they aren't at the same intellectual level as you, or even higher. A degree isn't everything, and hardly an accurate measure of someone's abilities. Some people just want to be a janitor, believe it or not. It's fairly cocky to think that just because someone is a janitor that they are at a lower intelligence or status level.

[lostnscared]

Just because someone chose to be a janitor doesn't mean they aren't at the same intellectual level as you, or even higher. A degree isn't everything, and hardly an accurate measure of someone's abilities. Some people just want to be a janitor, believe it or not. It's fairly cocky to think that just because someone is a janitor that they are at a lower intelligence or status level.

 

Did I say any of that? You took that from my post and went with it sweetie.

 

I said that I don't think I'd have much in common with someone who made the CHOICE to become a janitor unless it was interesting circumstances around it. I did not say that janitors were stupid, that they would not be as intellectual as me, or that they aren't at a good status level.

 

Again, when it comes to selecting a mate people have the right to be selective about the CRITERIA that they find important in a mate. This could vary from occupation, education, intelligence, income to how good that person is in bed. It is what it is. I have no problem being friends with someone who chose to become a janitor because they enjoyed it, but in a mate I'd be looking for someone who had higher ambitions.

[Doc Blaze]

OK...so what kinda job title guys do you go after?..and whats your career by the way?

[lostnscared]

OK...so what kinda job title guys do you go after?..and whats your career by the way?

 

The men I typically am attracted to have similar aspirations as I do(both career-wise and money-wise).

[Doc Blaze]

yeah whats your career?

[Batya33]

^Exactly, it is whether you would consider it a deal breaker as far as dating the person. On the simple fact alone that the person works as a janitor.

 

I wouldn't -it would depend why he made that choice and what his future aspirations are. I never met someone who worked in a blue collar job who was interested in dating me so this is all hypothetical. I only dated men who I would marry (almost all of my dating life) and I strongly preferred to marry someone with at least a college degree for values reasons. I personally never met a man who was single in my age range who had a college degree and chose a career as a janitor. Obviously those people might exist but I never had that situation, much less a single man who was educated, a janitor plus wanted to date me. Had I been faced with that situation I would have done what I wrote I would do earlier on and in this post.

 

To assume that someone wouldn't date a janitor because he/she looks down at janitors makes no sense to me when there are so many other possible reasons why.

[Batya33]

OK...so what kinda job title guys do you go after?..and whats your career by the way?

 

I never "went after" job titles when I was single - I tried to meet and date men who I had things in common with and common goals. I didn't find that too difficult because I did a lot of socializing with and working with (volunteer and paid work) people who I had things in common with and I deliberately lived in a city teeming with singles who were typically educated and in professional careers just like me. I think people should seek out people they have common interests and values with if they're looking for a long term relationship.

It's fine for casual dating too but I think even more important for long term relationships. To me what a person chooses as far as education and job often says a lot about their values and goals. If I met a person who chose to be a janitor because he could not handle going to school because of a lack of intelligence that person probably wouldn't have been a good match for me (but we might have been friends perhaps).

If he was intelligent enough to go to college but chose not to then we probably wouldn't have had enough in common as far as values and goals.

 

I'm seeing now that I'm a mom of a young child that having those similar values and goals is even more important if you have children. I'm so glad we do even though it means I have to stop typing to pay attention to my 4-year old/boss.

[calichick007]

Probably not... I lean towards no, but it depends. I don't require that a man have the same number of degrees that I have, same level of education, make as much or more money - but I do want someone who could make a meaningful financial contribution to my household, even if it's less than what I contribute. I value education, and I'd want my mate to be someone who values it too and wants to instill that in our children. I want someone who is ambitious and motivated. If you'd never want more than being a janitor, we probably would not be all that compatible. And if you're 30+ and are not close to being settled in your career or at least taking affirmative steps in that direction - incompatible there too. With all of that said, if there were reasonable circumstances that led a man to that particular job, but he was still very intelligent, placed high value on education, and wanted MORE - I'd consider it.

 

I look at my father as a good example. I'm 30, and my dad was 57 when I was born - a black man born in a country Texas town in 1924. He was valedictorian of his high school class but had very limited options for pursuing higher education, given the state of race relations in the south when he graduated in the early 1940s. He started working for the post office right out of high school, carrying mail on foot. Worked there 40 years, and by the time he retired, he'd worked his way up from carrying mail on foot to the highest HR position they'd grant someone without a college degree. He was unquestionably intelligent, ambitious, motivated, and determined to provide for us as best he could, despite lacking opportunities. Demanded that I do well in school, motivated and pushed me. So much of who/what I am today, I owe to him. My mom has a masters degree and always made more money than he did, but it did not matter in the end b/c they were fairly well matched in terms of intelligence, drive, goals, etc. So under a set of unique circumstances like those, I might consider it.

[itsallgrand]

Well I agree with you about making assumptions.

 

But it also doesn't make sense to me when people feel the need to qualify why they wouldn't date someone with a particular job title. I wouldn't date a bartender - do I need to say we could still be friends, he could very well be a decent person, etc? No.

[lostnscared]

yeah whats your career?

 

I have a college education and the fields I've worked in have always pertained to my degree. The majority of men I've been attracted to are not in this particular field, BUT they have similar aspirations as I do. And tbh that's all you need to know.

[Doc Blaze]

thanks for avoiding the question

[lostnscared]

thanks for avoiding the question

 

LOL. I don't see how my career is relevant to the discussion, and would rather keep my personal business out of this discussion. Besides I could be a teacher, or a doctor, or a waitress, and I STILL would have the right to be "selective" about the type of men I wanted... So in other words I know why you are asking what my career is but it really has no bearing on this discussion hun.

[Batya33]

Well I agree with you about making assumptions.

 

But it also doesn't make sense to me when people feel the need to qualify why they wouldn't date someone with a particular job title. I wouldn't date a bartender - do I need to say we could still be friends, he could very well be a decent person, etc? No.

 

I need to qualify it because otherwise it gives the misimpression that I look down on the person when that's not the case. I don't want to give that impression so I qualify it. Especially for those people looking for a long term relationship and potentially a family too, the criteria for romantic involvement have different factors than becoming close friends with someone.

[Doc Blaze]

LOL. I don't see how my career is relevant to the discussion, and would rather keep my personal business out of this discussion. Besides I could be a teacher, or a doctor, or a waitress, and I STILL would have the right to be "selective" about the type of men I wanted... So in other words I know why you are asking what my career is but it really has no bearing on this discussion hun.

 

just wanted to know the salary range your looking to date "honey"

[Batya33]

just wanted to know the salary range your looking to date "honey"

 

I'll chime in and say that often there's little correlation between career choice and salary range. A doctor can choose to work for a clinic or go into private practice - an engineer can work for the government or a corporation and a bartender can work for a fancy restaurant 7 days a week or a local bar 40 hours a week. Etc.

[Doc Blaze]

so then why wouldnt anyone want to date a janitor?

[EssexMan]

I wonder, quite seriously, if an unspoken issue here is that a cleaner's job involves dealing with dirt. Potentially, nasty dirt, all day long.

[rosasnyder811]

By saying you wouldn't have much in common or compatible with a Janitor, you are insinuating that you are above them in status or intelligence. Whether you said it or not, that's the insinuation that can be made from those statements.

 

Did I say any of that? You took that from my post and went with it sweetie.

 

I said that I don't think I'd have much in common with someone who made the CHOICE to become a janitor unless it was interesting circumstances around it. I did not say that janitors were stupid, that they would not be as intellectual as me, or that they aren't at a good status level.

 

Again, when it comes to selecting a mate people have the right to be selective about the CRITERIA that they find important in a mate. This could vary from occupation, education, intelligence, income to how good that person is in bed. It is what it is. I have no problem being friends with someone who chose to become a janitor because they enjoyed it, but in a mate I'd be looking for someone who had higher ambitions.

[camus154]

Whole lot of posturing going on up in here.

 

You know who wouldn't have a problem with any of this? Janitors. Why? Because they know exactly where they fall on the socio-economic scale and exactly what life choices they did or did not make to land there. They wouldn't need anyone to point out how they're probably still good husbands or fathers and they probably even know how to read a book, too! They wouldn't make apologies for their choices nor expect anyone's condescension in speaking out on their behalf.

 

This kind of discussion is something that people higher up on the socio-economic scale engage in in order to feel better about themselves. Meanwhile, some janitor is working his ass off so he can send his boy to college so he doesn't wind up as a janitor, too.

[rosasnyder811]

Exactly, Camus. I find this thread to be shallow and indicative of the moral direction this country has been headed.