22n32 Posted February 10, 2013 Author Share Posted February 10, 2013 Yes i know its working against me.. its not a good thing.. her parents might be enabling for her not to make the right decesion.. Ive expressed last 2 weeks.. i wanna be a part. Im here for the pregnancy.. im trying to be strong.. it hast helped last 2 weeks.. but hopefully she knows were i stand.. all i can do is step back for the coming weeks and months and let her reach out.. i dont wanna pusgh her away.. I also dont wanna step back for a while then she will get it in her mind i dont wanna be there.. but all i can do is step back for weeks and months to come Link to comment
lavenderdove Posted February 10, 2013 Share Posted February 10, 2013 Just check in with her now and again... send her an email that just says something like, 'how are you doing? i hope you're feeling good and let me know if you need anything and i'm there for you if you do...' You can also ask about the baby since it is your child. And offer to take her to doctor's appts and be there when she gets an ultrasound becuase you'd like to see the baby...' Link to comment
Blue Spiral Posted February 10, 2013 Share Posted February 10, 2013 Exactly how sure are you that you're the father? Link to comment
22n32 Posted February 10, 2013 Author Share Posted February 10, 2013 Exactly how sure are you that you're the father? 100% sure i am.. wo a doubt.. shes not the type to talk or sleep around with other people.. Link to comment
22n32 Posted February 10, 2013 Author Share Posted February 10, 2013 Just check in with her now and again... send her an email that just says something like, 'how are you doing? i hope you're feeling good and let me know if you need anything and i'm there for you if you do...' You can also ask about the baby since it is your child. And offer to take her to doctor's appts and be there when she gets an ultrasound becuase you'd like to see the baby...' yes i agree.. and last 2 weeks i have put that out there for her... and its been meet with zero respone.. all i can do is step back for the next 4-8weeks, let her decide calm down sort her feelings or whatever.. trying not to push her away.. then if she hasnt responded by then i will try to reach out again.. Link to comment
Capricorn3 Posted February 10, 2013 Share Posted February 10, 2013 OP, have you looked into getting counselling for yourself to sort out your issues yet, as mentioned in your previous thread on the same topic? Link to comment
22n32 Posted February 10, 2013 Author Share Posted February 10, 2013 OP, have you looked into getting counselling for yourself to sort out your issues yet, as mentioned in your previous thread on the same topic? ] yes i have .. most of my problems arrive from stress of my work and not knowing how to deal with it.. i keep it inside and take it home with me.. hence making me moody, depresed, snipy.. nobody enjoys being around a debby downer i get that... Link to comment
WockaWocka Posted February 10, 2013 Share Posted February 10, 2013 yes i agree.. and last 2 weeks i have put that out there for her... and its been meet with zero respone.. all i can do is step back for the next 4-8weeks, let her decide calm down sort her feelings or whatever.. trying not to push her away.. then if she hasnt responded by then i will try to reach out again.. I applaud you for stepping back, but I think you are still focused on the wrong goal. Being married is not a cure-all, and it may or may not happen. The real issue is that, barring the worst, this baby is on its way no matter what. And it needs the love and financial support of both parents. If it helps, prepare yourself for fatherhood the way you would if you were married. Start by reading books on parenting, the costs of caring for a baby, good daycares in your area if she works. Don't wait for her, start getting counseling yourself. If it's too expensive then try group therapy. Dealing with your own issues (and we all have them) makes you more attractive and a better parent, which again is the main goal right now. You may be surprised how easily the relationship falls into place once you start working on the fatherhood and self-improvement part of the equation. Link to comment
22n32 Posted February 10, 2013 Author Share Posted February 10, 2013 understand and agree.. im trying to overcome my issues.. no marriage isnt the answer to all.. we both did love eachother till i pushed her away.. and im trying to be a better man for myself, her and the child.. yes i do wish for a family with her and our child.. because i believe its possible if we both try.. but i know i will have to do it all if she doesnt wanna try... Link to comment
Ms Darcy Posted February 10, 2013 Share Posted February 10, 2013 Are you certain she is going to keep the baby and not terminate? Link to comment
22n32 Posted February 10, 2013 Author Share Posted February 10, 2013 Are you certain she is going to keep the baby and not terminate? yes im certain.. no will she ever terminate it.. she and her values are totally against that.. Link to comment
Blue Spiral Posted February 11, 2013 Share Posted February 11, 2013 100% sure i am.. wo a doubt.. shes not the type to talk or sleep around with other people.. You're betting at least eighteen years' worth of money on this (probably more like twenty-five), so I just wanted to make sure you were positive. Link to comment
limpykoony Posted February 11, 2013 Share Posted February 11, 2013 Wow very similar thing happened with me.. Then she had an abortion and broke up w me. I was lost, confused... but now I'm glad I feel like I dodged a bullet.... Link to comment
limpykoony Posted February 11, 2013 Share Posted February 11, 2013 Btw, my ex's values were totally against abortion and then her true colors came out at the 11th hour... You just never know my friend.. the messed up part is that legally you have no control over the situation... I found that bicycling, meditation, praying, family and friends helped the time go by until she spoke to me again, helped me to accept her decision about the abortion, the loss of the "child", and helped me to move on.. Like I said I am happy I dodged that psycho bullet now. Link to comment
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