Betrayed by sister

[sarah3370]

Im 33yrs old and 14yrs ago i had preeclampsia and due to having this i had a grandmama seizure and was in a coma for 2 1/2 wks i also was told my son didnt make it, i was released and along with follow up my dr said i could have more kids but needed to wait until later down the line so i was put on depo vera the birth control shot my sister was there for me the whole time and i stayed with her because i had and still have anxiety very bad to where i thought i was going to die.I had been scared for the longest to get pregnat again so i finally wanted to have a baby with my husband and for the last 4yrs no luck i would openly talk to my family and sister about this and about going to see a dr and find out if something was wrong with me. But over the years we have had this talk alot. My neice called me and told me that she seen my exhusband and that he told her while i was in my coma my sister signed papers to have my tubes tied,i told my neice dont believe him because hes lies about everything and tries to cause problems cause im remarried so just out of curosity i text my sister and asked if this was true or if he was just being a liar again and she text me back and said tha this was true and that she did my heart stopped i could have died at that moment then she said she told me but thats a lie i would remember something like that.She had my tubes tied for me while i was in a coma and kept it a secret for 14 yrs why didnt she bring it up when i was telling her i was going to go to the dr to see what the problem was, all this time she knew and never said anything neither did the dr after i got out fo the hospital.She took away my chance to be a mother and to have a family and kept it from me.And durng the 14 yrs she pushed her kids off on me i basically raised them for her and now she tells me this and i hate her and i cant forgive what she has done or what she has taken from me its immoral.

[Moontiger]

Wow. I don't think I could forgive something like this. Does your sister have a reason she did this? Also, how could she legally have that done to you? I think you need to do some digging and contact a lawyer.

 

Have you considered adoption? There are a ton of kids looking for loving homes.

[Capricorn3]

I would suggest that you see a doctor to have it confirmed if indeed your tubes were tied. Perhaps she is lying? I would want professional confirmation from at least two different doctors.

[gigginstick]

Maybe you really dont remember? And how is this even possible? That cant be legal right?

[Erica73]

Something sounds fishy here. The doctor told you that you could have children down the line after the surgery? Why would he do that? Then for no one to tell you until now is very odd. I'd contact the hospital where you were in the coma and get your medical records for that time.

 

I know how devastating this must be for you but there are other options if you can't have a baby yourself. There are so many children out in the world looking for a loving home.

[sarah3370]

I have an appointment for next wednesday to find out for sure and i have contacted a lawyer just in case. Im not sure legally how she was able to sign for that she didnt have power of attorney or anything.Im trying to find out and do all i can.

[sarah3370]

yes i know and i have done that but its in a diffrent city so i have to wait for the authorization form to be mailed so i can sign it and send it back so i can get the information i need i have an appointment next wednesday to see for sure and have contacted an attorney just in case.thanks for your comment and suggestion i know there aer alot of children needing a loving home that might be a option i need to take

[sarah3370]

not sure hows its legally possible but even if i did forget which i didnt if she told me once then why couldnt she have said it agin when i was wondering whats wrong and talking to her about it constantly.

[fieryred]

This would be hard to deal with I don't think I could forgive her. Have you thought about having your eggs harvested fertilized and then put back in. Your tubes may be tyed but everything else is there.

[pippy longstocking]

like the rest I smell a rat here and don't see how she could giver her pemission ...surely it would have been your husband ..

 

I hope this is a mistake ...that news ..if true , is going to be hard to deal with .

[ParisPaulette]

I agree with the others here, that just seems too strange. Personally, I'm more suspicious of the doctor involved since unless you were underage and/or your sister was an adult with custody of you most doctors wouldn't do something like that for all the obvious legal ramifications they'd face--i.e. lawsuit. It may well be that the doctor advised and/or scared or bullied her into it, etc. I've seen that done before where a medical doctor demands the family do a procedure then pulls out scare tactics to get them to okay something. I know it shouldn't happen, but sadly it does sometimes. The thing is you need to sit down calmly with your sister and get the specific details of what exactly happened and why. Then go see your doctor and get it verified with a physical examination and see if they can pull the original medical records too, although after 14 years those records may not be available.

 

As to why she never said anything, quite possibly she feels scared or ashamed and didn't know how to tell you. That doesn't excuse her not telling you but still I think you should talk to her and get the full truth.

[agent1607307371]

If you had your tubes tied, why would the Dr's put you on bc?

 

I think you need to speak to a Doctor, there's a lot here that seems weird.

[sarah3370]

i havent tought of that yet i was just focused on this and finding out if this is true but that is a good thought for me to think about thank you so much because i probably never would have thought of that right now.

[sarah3370]

thank you for your comment,at this time i was 19 and my exhusband said that he didnt sign papers but shouldnt that have fell on my mom instead of my sister my mom was also there and she said she never knew and the drs never told her either so when i ask my exhusband ok tell me are my tubes tied or not only he says he dont know or dont know for sure,and my sister said that she is not sure what they did if they only tied them or cut and burned i asked how does she not no when she says she signed for it so i dont know what was done to me but i will find out wedneday i go to get it checked out

[Seraphim]

I too would have to consider that your sister is full of bull. Even if she is full of bull she is sick in the head because who pulls a joke like that? Either way you might be best to be rid of her. I am sorry you are going through this.

[sarah3370]

yeah i know i thought of that to, and why would the dr tell me i can have more kids later down the line i just dont understand this and if she is lying then either way iam done with her thats mean and sick so at the present i havent talked to her since i found this out monday night and i probably never will talk to her again

[nbr]

Sarah,

Tied or not, if you find you can not get pregnant again, I would love for you to adopt.

I was adopted at two weeks old. At 26 I found my Bio family, thus (until the 4th of January) I had a mom and a mother, a dad and a father, my children have more grandparents than a kid ought to have; and the resulting spoiling.

 

here is the link to the whole story.

 

-nbr

[sarah3370]

Thank you so much,that might have to be a very good option for me and for a child i will do more thinking about that.

[Heather Dawn]

Sarah, some questions that come to mind:

 

1. Why was it (allegedly) your sister who signed off on this, and not your husband at the time? He had more of a legal right than she did. And if not him, than certainly your mother or father.

 

2. How could you have gone all these years without knowing? I know that with tubal ligation women still have their periods, but surely there is other evidence of this - scars, etc.

 

3. Why would your doctor put you on birth control if he knew you couldn't have kids? Could your family have asked him to lie to you to spare your feelings until they felt you were better able to cope? If so, you should look into your legal rights, because that doctor had no right to lie to you.