Things That Make A Happy, Successful Relationship: Share Yours

[IAmFCA]

I like this thread. thank you!

[Fudgie]

I work days, afternoons, evenings, and nights now. My boyfriend always walks me out to my car when it's dark out. I don't like walking by myself to my car in the city when it's darker. He'll always walk me, even if it's 11pm and I have to wake him up beforehand.

 

I lost the ability to clip my toenails when I injured my back in the spring. It was already a challenge cause of my weight (most of which is in my stomach) but now I can't at all. So he clips them for me.

 

I've never been a very romantic person (nor has he) so we don't do much gesture-wise. For me, helping someone with mundane or unpleasant medical or daily activities is what I really remember. Yes, I've wiped his ass when he couldn't and I've cleaned him up after he has vomited over himself. And he's done the latter for me.

 

I guess that's just the healthcare worker/careworker part of me. I take after my parents.

 

My parents have never been affectionate with each other but when my mom developed a growth on her foot that needed removal, my dad brought home a scalpel and removed part of it for her as she laid on the couch. I was pretty young but I thought that was very nice of him.

[oasisrob22]

My girlfriend started a pretty demanding full-time job and she has to get up early every morning before I have to get up for my job. I've been waking up with her the past several weeks, making her coffee each morning and we kiss and wish each other a wonderful day before she leaves the house.

 

Simple thing such as that makes for a great start to the day, as little as it may seem, and makes me feel warm about us, even if we are currently working through some issues.

[Heather Dawn]

I have to say, on the "debunking" theory that men don't listen...my bf "hears" not only everything I say, but things I cannot.

 

It is beyond endearing...it is very, very attractive!!

Yes! Sometimes, after I've discussed something with my boyfriend - i.e. work issues -- I realize how lucky I am to have someone who not only listens, but hears...and supports me.

[Heather Dawn]

I work days, afternoons, evenings, and nights now. My boyfriend always walks me out to my car when it's dark out. I don't like walking by myself to my car in the city when it's darker. He'll always walk me, even if it's 11pm and I have to wake him up beforehand.

 

That reminds me - our apartment comes with two assigned parking spots in the building's lot. Our two are at the edge of the lot right next to the woods behind our house, and my boyfriend claimed the one on the outside, near a small break in the trees, so that I wouldn't have to be as near it if I leave or come home when it's dark.

[mhowe]

Yes! Sometimes, after I've discussed something with my boyfriend - i.e. work issues -- I realize how lucky I am to have someone who not only listens, but hears...and supports me.

 

It can be current --- or prior stuff I have said. I may tell a story, and 3 years later if I am talking about the same person he will say "isn't he the one that does XYZ".....and I am always astounded that he remembers the minutia of MY life!!!!

[Fudgie]

That reminds me - our apartment comes with two assigned parking spots in the building's lot. Our two are at the edge of the lot right next to the woods behind our house, and my boyfriend claimed the one on the outside, near a small break in the trees, so that I wouldn't have to be as near it if I leave or come home when it's dark.

 

You're lucky! We get one assigned place in the car port, 1 car per apartment. That got old quickly. I figured out one of our neighbours is disabled and can't drive a car and doesn't own one so I use their spot now. Hopefully they won't mind, heh.

 

I don't like walking down there at night though. People smoke crack in their cars down there you know, it being the city and all.

[journeynow]

We get one assigned place in the car port, 1 car per apartment. That got old quickly. I figured out one of our neighbours is disabled and can't drive a car and doesn't own one so I use their spot now. Hopefully they won't mind, heh.

 

Fudgie, they might need the spot for visitors or helpers or rides. I don't blame you for using it, but perhaps offer them a ride or run an errand for them as fair trade? I assume their rent includes the parking spot, so they are paying for it? I know this is tangent to the thread, and just a suggestion.

[Fudgie]

Fudgie, they might need the spot for visitors or helpers or rides. I don't blame you for using it, but perhaps offer them a ride or run an errand for them might as fair trade? I assume their rent includes the parking spot, so they are paying for it? I know this is tangent to the thread, and just a suggestion.

 

I'd rather park in the street. I don't know these people, they are total strangers. I've never spoken to them.

 

All I know is that he/she (can't tell by the voice) is unemployed and using SSI money on tons of weed to stink up our vents. So I don't really feel guilty by taking their spot.

 

You're right, I should probably start parking in the street again. I'd rather do that then talk to these people and get to know them. I don't like neighbours knowing who I am.

 

And no, you can't pay for more parking or pay less for no car.

[journeynow]

oooh...

[Fudgie]

Nothing against weed (I use weed myself) but I never smoke it because that's stinky and rude to neighbours. Ah well. Wish they could use their SSI on a vaporizer.

 

Sorry, back to topic.

[Heather Dawn]

You're lucky! We get one assigned place in the car port, 1 car per apartment. That got old quickly. I figured out one of our neighbours is disabled and can't drive a car and doesn't own one so I use their spot now. Hopefully they won't mind, heh.

 

I don't like walking down there at night though. People smoke crack in their cars down there you know, it being the city and all.

 

We ARE lucky. We also happen to live in a town that was twice voted one of the Top 20 places to live in America by Forbes magazine...so no crackheads to worry about, thankfully!

 

It can be current --- or prior stuff I have said. I may tell a story, and 3 years later if I am talking about the same person he will say "isn't he the one that does XYZ".....and I am always astounded that he remembers the minutia of MY life!!!!

 

Yes!!! I loooove that! And I also do it to him - the other day he mentioned something about a childhood friend and I said, "Oh, is that whose driveway it was when you crashed your bike and hurt your elbow?" and he said, "No, but I was with that friend when it happened - wow...good memory," and I as happy because he knows I listen to HIM, as well.

[HeatherB]

We specialize in inside jokes and bizarre greeting and parting rituals. We even have a private salute we give each other. You sort of make a chopping motion with your hand up from the top of your head and say, "Heidelbergansus." Which is an early humanlike giant ape some cryptozoologists think might have spurred the legend of bigfoot. We also do a sort of fist bump thing where we click our wedding rings together.

 

All the weird stuff about me, my goofy habits and horrible sense of humor, he loves. For example I enjoy using drinking straws for practically any beverage. Even coffee. I don't have to, but I just like it. He pays attention to when we're running low on straws. When I blow bubbles in my coffee through a straw, it always gets a smile out of him. I feel like I entertain him and make him happy just by letting my silly side show, and by letting him in on all the worst puns I come up with. It's freaking liberating!

 

One thing that makes him glow is when I give him nicknames. Currently, he is The Bunny Saver because he rescued a neighbor girl's lost pet rabbit that he found hiding in our shed. Carried the huge thing all the way down the block to her house and knocked on their door with his foot, without getting a single scratch or a bite. All hail The Bunny Saver!

[Heather Dawn]

Love it! All hair The Bunny Saver, indeed! Your relationship sounds a lot like mine - you two are not just a couple, your friends. I think those are the relationships that last.

[LonelyMoondancer]

Such a sweet thread!

 

My boyfriend is too sweet, but I definitely have favourite memories that stand out in my mind. I remember about six months into our relationship, he showed me a note he had saved on his phone. It was a list of bullet points of things he found interesting about me, things he'd been noting down from what I told him ever since our first date. Simple things like "Blue", "Spaghetti", "Loves to write", "Blogger". My eyes kind of watered when I saw.

 

Another cute thing he does is text me inspiring quotes at random times. We both do this for each other- we take pictures of quotes in books or we just type them out, and they're about anything from love to science.

 

And one more- once I was borrowing his laptop, and as I was typing something into the search engine, his previous searches popped up. He had been researching programs that I intend to apply to for graduate school. So incredibly thoughtful.

[anna0511]

My boyfriend of almost 4 years is so lovely. He works a really stressful job but if I'm sick, he'll take a cab and rush home during his lunch break just to see me for 10 minutes and bring me something to eat.

 

Right now, we're long-distance, and I recently went to visit him in the new country he is living in. He had a goodie bag to make my trip fun while he's at work during the day with a sweet post-it note on each item.

 

We often share desserts and even though his sweet tooth is as big as mine, he always lets me have the last bite.

 

I could go on forever about the thoughtful things he does for me.

[mmnyc5052]

It is nice to have a positive thread like this here.

 

In the beginning of our relationship we were long distance; I was in LA and he was on the east coast. I wasn't sure about the long distance thing at first but he was so dedicated to making it work that he went out of his way to come and visit me on his own dime/time very soon after meeting. But it doesn't have to always be a grand gesture -- just simple things like holding open doors for me, rubbing my leg or back, little texts here and there, flowers. Another big thing for me is the amount of respect he has for my family/parents. It sounds trivial but he has been staying with us for a couple of months since his family recently moved to another state, and he goes out of his way to take out the trash, clean, help out everywhere, enthusiastically cooks for us. He has made a huge effort to get to know my family, talk with them - he'll sit with my mom and just watch the news with her even when I'm not around. It's in those moments that I truly appreciate who he is as a person.

 

I also appreciate when I am reminded we really have become each other's best friend. We have our own little 'language' for certain things, which makes getting a good morning text fun when he has to go to work before me. We also have a tradition of playing Risk (the board game) and it's nice to have that time together to joke around, do something NOT involving media/technology, and just be with each other and talk. I think that's the biggest thing - he once looked at me very meaningfully in my eyes and said, "you are my best friend."

[Fudgie]

This isn't really sweet or anything but my boyfriend and I have had to deal with a number of difficult people or dicey, sketchy situations. Like his grandparents or my relatives or sketchy people who we both know but don't trust. We have developed a system of letting each other know what is okay to talk about and what isn't. I am fluent in this one language and he knows a little bit. He knows how to mutter key phrases to me that basically day "no, stop, change subject" or "don't say this" or "yes it's okay" and I do the same for him to indicate things I don't want to talk about to certain others or to tell him to change the subject.

 

I know it's incredibly convoluted and weird. But no one has caught us doing this and it's really helped a lot.

[Heather Dawn]

We've got the inside joke/private language thing down, too.

 

I've been having a stressful time at work, lately, and my guy has been SO great at listening to me vent and then offering not just advice but also emotional support. I know guys tend to want to "fix," even when we women just want to vent, but he's been amazingly good at listening and "getting it," without trying to immediately offer up a concrete solution - and I love that.

 

I went to the doctor this week (have been really sick with both a sinus infection AND an ear infection) and my doctor asked, "How are things in your life in terms of stress? Home...work...?" and my honest answer was, "Home is always the one thing in my life that never causes me stress."

[mhowe]

We are going on a road trip this weekend...he has packed a cooler with treats, done all the grocery shopping (we are cooking for a dinner party) and emptied and cleaned his truck..as we are picking up something from my moms. I only have to.pack!

[FreedomRing]

He is much tidier then I would ever want to be...he also knows at a certain point,I get overwhelmed with my clutter, and he will take charge 'attacking' my least favorite areas to clean(my closets, storage room). Love that man!!

[FreedomRing]

We are going on a road trip this weekend...he has packed a cooler with treats, done all the grocery shopping (we are cooking for a dinner party) and emptied and cleaned his truck..as we are picking up something from my moms. I only have to.pack!

 

How lucky are we!! I have one of those guys too - whenever we go on trips, he always buys our toiletries, snacks, etc. (and even leaves room in his luggage for my 'excess baggage' lol)

[Gimpyrks]

I'm on page two of reading but had to post before I finished

 

My new boyfriend and I have started seeing each other about a month ago, we actually work together at McD's. When I was going on my break it was at a time where the front computers were down (drive thru is open 24/7 but lobby isn't) and we have a limited menu after midnight. I asked him if we had any crispy chicken and he looked and said yup. I didn't say anything after that and went and made my drink, and by the time I got back he had made my sandwhich the exact way I eat it. Seriously made me just want to kiss him right then and there (of course I couldn't haha).

 

He tells me all the time how much he appreciates me and we spend as much time together as possible. Sure it's SUPER early in the relationship to say if it's going to be sucessful, but the whole relationship feels different than any one I've been in so fingers are crossed

[Fudgie]

That is so cute Gimpyrks. Thanks for making me smile!

[cheriex333]

My husband regularly brings home treats (chocolate, seafood, fave take-out). He'll surprise me by cooking me something that I casually mentioned. I just gotta make sure to snack first since it takes him several hours!

He lightly rakes my scalp with his fingers before we go to sleep because it relaxes me. It's sweet because even when I haven't washed my hair he doesn't hesitate heheh. He's extra doting when I'm sick and stocks up on medicine, snacks, movies and gives me massages.

 

I'm like a puppy when he comes home. Rushing to greet him with slobbery kisses and affection. I make him fresh pressed coffee on weekends and scratch his back because his arms are too short.