Went to a therapist/life coach but came out even more depressed. :(

[Dougie_D]

We had our first session. I talked about my family/financial problem and was asking advice on how to get my dream job. The therapist and I both agreed that I needed to find a job. I told her I have been looking for awhile and such. I also told her that I would like to have a job that would be even or greater than what my parents are giving me financially to really feel independent and not being tied down to my parents. We talked further about my job experience and this is when I really got depressed. The impression I got was the best option for me is to have a "dead end job". That's what the therapist suggested me to look for. Actually it was more of a "warehouse" job. I've honestly been thinking that it's alright for me to not be working at a record label right now and it's better to have a part-time job or another job...but I've been looking at other options. Options like video production/graphic design/marketing/radio/promotions type jobs. Why would the therapist not talk about those options? I feel incredibly worthless.

[Fudgie]

First of all, it's normal for therapy to make you feel like crap at first. When you get at touchy issues, it HURTS to talk about them. That's normal. It's part of getting better. Ultimately, if you continue to go and work on the issues with her, you'll get some clarity and feel better. You're just starting.

My therapy makes me anxious at times but I am getting better.

 

It's possible that you may not have the job experience needed to get the jobs you want right now. That's why working at a warehouse would be a good idea for now. It's a stepping stone tona better job in the future. No one goes from very little to no job experience to landing a very good job right away. That's not how it works.

 

You are on the right path! Proud of you man!

[Seraphim]

I agree therapy does make you feel like crap at first. That is the point of it though you have to go through the crap. My counselor explained it to me is like shaking a box of rocks you never know what's going to crawl out. And you will feel bad before you get to feeling better. You're not going to feel better after the first appointment. Also remember that therapy is not really linear. You will have improvements and little setbacks and improvements and little setbacks. But the times of the setbacks will get shorter and shorter until eventually they don't exist anymore. You have to go through the hard stuff to get to the good stuff. The jobs well you have to start somewhere you have to start building a base. You can't be the president on the first day. My husband had this syndrome too. At 23 he wanted to have the same financial stability his parents had at 60. Well they had spent 45 years building that stability and he had spent three years so obviously that's not going to happen. Everything in time my friend everything in time.

[pippy longstocking]

oh dougie dont give up ...thats an amazing step you have taken ....honestly well done dougie xx

 

fudgie and lady vic are right ...it does feel bad before it feels good , dont give up fella

[agent1607307371]

Options like video production/graphic design/marketing/radio/promotions type jobs.

 

Do you have the skills for those kinds of jobs? Not the degree, but the skills and experience- current and up to date - that an employer would want.

 

At the end of the day, warehouse work will be quicker and easier to get.

 

And no, you won't come out of therapy feeling good immediately. You have to put the work in.

[lavenderdove]

the thing is that ANY job is better than no job, especially if you are stuck and not going anywhere. The longer the gap in employment, the less likely employers are to take you seriously when considering you. And almost everyone does work those lower level jobs at some point when necessary to have employment. The job is not a reflection of who you are as a person, just a stepping stone to allow you to move forward and ultimately meet your goals.

 

I've had jobs i've really hated, but during the time i worked that job, i was taking classes at night to get a degree to get a better job in future. So those jobs served their function and were not a reflection of who I was, just a means to an end. Many people WANT higher level jobs, but they don't pay their dues in order to get them, or they have unrealistic expectations about what their skill level/current education will get them. If you are not sufficiently educated/qualified for a job or don't have experience in a new area, odds are good you WON'T get that job becuase there will be other candidates who have better experienced for it.

 

So the first thing you need to do is to go to a university career counseling office and talk about what qualifications/experience is needed to get the jobs you want, and how stiff the competition is that you are competing with to get that job. Maybe you need an undergraduate degree in graphic arts before you are qualified for that job. Or a marketing degree. Or a film production degree. It's not enough to WANT a job you actually have to be qualified to get one.

 

So your therapist is not making a judgment of your worth, but looking at the practicality of the job market and whether you have the qualifications/education/experience to do the jobs you want to do. If you don't, then there's a gap and you need to take a lower level job to get you employed while educating yourself to get the qualifications you need to get a better job.

[luminousone]

The job is not a reflection of who you are as a person, just a stepping stone to allow you to move forward and ultimately meet your goals.

 

Think about your passions in life and what you do about your passions is really what defines you- not necessarily your job.

 

So the first thing you need to do is to go to a university career counseling office and talk about what qualifications/experience is needed to get the jobs you want, and how stiff the competition is that you are competing with to get that job.

 

Career and vocational counselors do testing on your skills, talents, and abilities. A good vocational counselor will know the employment trends and forecasts, and should be able to provide information to guide you in your employment choices.

 

I am thinking that it might be helpful for you to keep going to you therapist, who presumably is trained to guide you in your emotional and interpersonal side of life, and go to a vocational counselor for the employment counseling.

 

It sounds like you have a goal and some passion, and now you just need some help in fulfilling those goals.

 

Keep in mind that at times you may choose to have a menial job in order to enable you to pursue the passions in your life. I used to work at a restaurant years ago. As I got to know the other employees I was astonished to find out that many were artists, and worked the restaurant in order to enable them to do what they loved. There were classical dancers, musicians from a band, and actors there.

 

Figure out what you want to do and then a plan to get there.

[luminousone]

I wonder what kind of training a "life coach" has

[bulletproof]

Have you considered seeing a psychiatrist or psychologist? I don't know that therapists/life coaches/counselors are really trained or interested in getting to core issues as much as they are about immediate solutions in the short term. Which is also useful in your case, but I think if you want to see real change, you might have to step up to a more intense form of therapy.

 

If nothing else, she's giving you a more objective view of the situation than you can give yourself. Many people have jobs they are not necessarily that interested in, while they are pursuing a different career path. I'm sure you know of plenty waiters/actors in LA. Sometimes you have to work hard and suck it up if you want to get somewhere. Ask yourself how badly you want the dream career, and what you're willing to do to get it.

[CeeLambrini]

I wonder what kind of training a "life coach" has

 

They get their diploma's and most have a natural high level of understanding, patience and empathy as personality traits, as well. I'm going to be taking a course in a couple of years to life coach teenagers and I'm really looking forward to it.

 

But OP, yes - like the other's have said - a stepping stone is a really great way of looking at it rather than "a dead end". Even students who have just come out of university, fully equipped with degree's and qualifications sometimes have to take a backseat in a coffee shop/bar to the more experienced employee's. I've heard of companies who once every few years will take on a few interns but other than that, experience is often chosen over fresh new degrees. Is there something you could be getting on with whilst you have this new job? Perhaps a night time course a couple of nights a week, just to get some experience and qualifications up?

[blueidealist24]

I'm actually surprised that when you have two degrees, they would suggest a warehouse but it's probably because you don't have a lot of experience. There are a lot of temporary/entry-level marketing and promotions positions out there right now. This guy I know started doing telephone sales, which sounds dead end, but I guess that built his sales skills enough that he got a real marketing/advertising coordinator position after doing the telephone stuff for two years. You should also look at temp agencies; often they'll hire someone with little experience, especially around the holidays when a lot of the permanent employees want time off.

[Unreasonable]

I don't know if it's wise to expect a dream job when we're recovering from the worst recession since the great depression. As is, if you have a job -at all- you're lucky. We're all trying to weather this storm and it will pass. Hopefully sooner rather than later. Typically, "dead end" jobs, are jobs that are always needed, and pretty secure if you're competent. Maybe she just thinks you need money and stability first, then shoot for the stars. I work at a full-time job that requires a highly-specific skill set, one that generally lends itself to contract work. You might think that is good, but actually it is not at all stable. What if they decide to go another direction? I'm looking for another job again.

[Mercurial Girl]

I wonder what kind of training a "life coach" has

 

As much or as little as they want. It isn't a regulated industry. Life coaches are NOT therapists, they're more like...personal cheerleaders, motivators.

[Seraphim]

You're not allowed to discuss your political beliefs on ENA

[agent1607307371]

Mod Note: Please refrain from political debate.

[Purple Turtle]

agent and victoria where does it say that? ok i'll edit my reply minus the politics then.

[Purple Turtle]

dougie i'll keep it simple since apparently there's censorship on this website: i would get rid of the therapist and find someone that wants to actually help you, and i would NEVER accept a low-paying job or a job you don't like. BTW what is your level of education and how are you currently earning a living or do you live at home? get back to me and good luck...

[Seraphim]

Purple Turtle,

 

Number 14. ( listed in the rules which you agreed to when you got your account)

 

Threads on Religion and Politics that are posted simply for purposes of debate, proselytizing or similar purposes will not be permitted on this forum. Posts about these issues when they affect relationships will still be allowed but they must be relevant and not simply posted for argument or debate

[Purple Turtle]

also the statement about how my dad (who was born in 1950) was able to earn a decent middle-class living and raise a family WITHOUT A HS DIPLOMA is in no way political, all it is is a simple statement of fact about his life situation.

[Dougie_D]

dougie i'll keep it simple since apparently there's censorship on this website: i would get rid of the therapist and find someone that wants to actually help you, and i would NEVER accept a low-paying job or a job you don't like. BTW what is your level of education and how are you currently earning a living or do you live at home? get back to me and good luck...

 

I live by myself but my parents help me financially. I'm given a certain amount each month. The problem is, for me to really feel independent from my family I need to have a paying job equal or higher than the income I receive monthly. Even if I had a job, my parent would equal the amount given. My parents would pay less but I would still be on the same budget I'm on now.

I have 2 degrees. Bachelor in University Studies (2004) and Associates in Video Production (2006)

[Miss Firecracker]

Dougie, you went to a life coach and heard pretty much what you did from people on eNA. You need a job to support yourself. That is step number one, and you go from there.