Online dating - is everyone illiterate?

[Sirenia]

Sure, I understand if you're chatting online or sending a text message you don't need proper punctuation and capitalization, etc but if you're sending a message or an email? No capitals, no punctuation, poor grammar and spelling. It's really offputting. I know it's worse in younger generations but I would not say the people writing to me are particularly young. They are mostly around my age - early-late 30s. Ridiculous. It's totally offputting. I can imagine them speaking to me like that in real life too.

[drmcsugar]

LOL!

 

I'm a grammar Nazi and this annoys me greatly as well. I stated on my profile that men shouldn't bother contacting me if they are unable to use grammatically correct English. That filters out somewhat of the unwanted population, but obviously there are many illiterate ones that don't read my profile (but can you really blame them?) and proceed to message me in dys k1nd 0f txts.

[jaciej]

It's absolute laziness, especially when they assume you can read the c**p that they are writing. Very irritating.

[jul-els]

I believe that all typed messages, be they texting, online chatting, email or what have you, should always be properly spelled and punctuated. Otherwise, what's the point of having grammar? The language just becomes jibberish. If you want to inflect tone or feeling, use the phone or see someone in person and leave the messaging to quick, pertinent information. The example of the type of texting that drmcsugar gave I find particularly ridiculous. That's just intentionally dumbing down the language.

[MasterPo]

Interesting. I do like the term, "Grammar Nazi", very apt description. I'm carefully typing this out because I am notorious for not proofing my writing. Possibly and likely that I'm lazy and sloppy or that I am comfortable and don't take my audience seriously because of all the typo errors I've experienced so far.

 

As for a relationship. I agree meeting a beautiful woman, then trying to read her gangster script will tend to be put off. However all that means is I will adapt and not leave any more notes, just switch to phone calls or personal contact. The mother of my children should not write like she tags. Just my preference.

 

On the other hand, if she writes like a 18th century spinster, cold and emotionless, a turn off just a well. I love good penmanship and articulate prose, with that she's a keeper.

[iamkaylee]

I don't mind it once in a while, and to a point. I do have a tolerance limit though and I'm not about to decipher anyone's messages. I'm very guilty of replying with simply "ENGLISH!"

[charity]

you know, its interesting. i totally understand what you mean, it annoys me when i see people writing in a silly fashion like that.

HOWEVER my ex writes like that. his spelling is awful and he uses text speak too much. and yet he is very intelligent and articulate in person. when i read his words he's like another person!!. so yeah ,because of him i wouldn't judge people's writing skills too much.

[Gilson]

I almost didn't respond to my ex because she used could of, would of, should of instead of could've, would've, should've and etc.

 

But on our first date, she correctly used "propensity" so...

[Angler]

"I have a propensity to use poor grammar despite my above average lexicon"

[LoveSoDeep]

Some things I can let slide...but when I get messages that say only "ur hawt wanna chat" I just have to hit delete.

[deejay74]

Sure, I understand if you're chatting online or sending a text message you don't need proper punctuation and capitalization, etc but if you're sending a message or an email? No capitals, no punctuation, poor grammar and spelling. It's really offputting. I know it's worse in younger generations but I would not say the people writing to me are particularly young. They are mostly around my age - early-late 30s. Ridiculous. It's totally offputting. I can imagine them speaking to me like that in real life too.

 

i just want to chime in here and say when i was first getting online, sending emails, and chatting in the early to mid 90s, i was told by friends that were versed in online communications to type everything lower caps, otherwise you're yelling.

 

i typed in all lower caps here but my spelling and grammar are fine. does reading what i've typed here annoy you?

 

by the way, i'm 38.

 

but i agree. spllng mistayks relly tirn me off.

 

"me fail english? that's UN-possible!" - Ralph Wiggum

[Angler]

i just want to chime in here and say when i was first getting online, sending emails, and chatting in the early to mid 90s, i was told by friends that were versed in online communications to type everything lower caps, otherwise you're yelling.

 

i typed in all lower caps here but my spelling and grammar are fine. does reading what i've typed here annoy you?

 

Very annoying.

 

ALL CAPS IS YELLING.

 

Appropriately used uppercase lettering, grammar, and correct spelling convey literacy - a quality very near the top of my requirements.

[Brittanyxox90]

hahaha that is so frustrating, you just have to laugh!

[Trinity11]

Oh My! Glad you started this thread because YES i think they are! Guys and girls alike (from what I am told) what is with that? You wouldn't send in a job application like that...or would you?

YUCK!

 

The types of bad messaging.

 

The accidental mistype or incorrect spelling- acceptable

 

The occasional abbreviator- acceptable

 

The teen txt abbreviator (ive had a late 30s man text me in this style, i asked if he got auto corrected haha) nm, lmk if u want to meet up k? tc...-absolutely unacceptable

 

The abomination of the english language, non spellchecked grammatical disaster- not acceptable

[Seraphim]

I hope my son never does online dating I wouldn't want him to be judged for his learning disability. I hope he finds someone the old-fashioned way so they can see how fantastic he is.

[MasterPo]

Some things I can let slide...but when I get messages that say only "ur hawt wanna chat" I just have to hit delete.

 

LOL.. Oh I just got to use that. LMAO!

[Trinity11]

Victoria...if he can use and online spellchecker ofrthe google 'did you mean?...' he will do just fine. I use google when I get really lost with spelling sometimes ;-)

Thats if he even has to use it at all (online dating i mean)

[Sirenia]

I don't think we're being "grammar nazis" at all. It's just common sense to prefer who does the right and expected thing. It's kind of like wanting someone who showers over someone who doesn't. OK maybe it's a bad example but you get what I mean. For me it actually makes me think of them as less intelligent, less educated, etc... and that is NOT attractive at all.

[Seraphim]

No he has a learning disability where he cannot put things together grammatically correct or learn to spell properly. Speaking he is perfectly grammatically correct ,writing it down,no. He does use Dragon speak for school though. My son is very intelligent and actually tested above average intelligence but I would still recommend he never try online dating. I think it would be a poor experience for him.

[Trinity11]

Its no bother though, there are plent of other ways to meet people and express yourself. My younger brother is SHOCKINGLY bad at english, he fell through the crack of the school system and my parents did not have the money for a tutor, he was also preoccupied with being bullied. Pretty sure he would not choose online dating as it would highlight his flaws. Work with you strong points.

Im sure he won't have many problems dating when he has you and your terriffic dating advice too

[Seraphim]

I would prefer he get to know someone in person too, you get to know the real them so much faster. Then they will also get to see how awesome he is.

[mfan]

Online dating searches should offer the option "Only show profiles with good spelling". (Maximum 2 misspelled words, excluding capitalized words and words that are part of foreign phrases.) This should be easy enough for the website to administer. OKCupid could probably do it. In fact, websites could offer an auto-block feature where members cannot send you a message unless it's at least x sentences long and has at least 50% of the words spelled correctly.

[LoveSoDeep]

Online dating searches should offer the option "Only show profiles with good spelling". (Maximum 2 misspelled words, excluding capitalized words and words that are part of foreign phrases.) This should be easy enough for the website to administer. OKCupid could probably do it. In fact, websites could offer an auto-block feature where members cannot send you a message unless it's at least x sentences long and has at least 50% of the words spelled correctly.

 

Oh I would PAY for that feature.

 

PoF does have a feature where you can specify that messages have to be of a certain length.....I use it and consequently I get a lot of this"

 

"dayum grl u is hawt!.....-----......................................................................"

 

Yes just enough extra punctuation to get past the message length rule. Other guys just complain about it...."Hi im mike you're prty hot. dang this thang says my msg aint long enough. there maybe thats enough." and so on....really guys...it says right in my profile I have an MBA do you really think that's going to work on me?

[Mhall27]

While it was annoying I actually found it useful in weeding guys out. I'd rather have lazy, less than intelligent guys use their bad grammar so I can avoid them easier.

[Blue Spiral]

I employ excellent spelling and grammar, and this has greatly helped me, as it leads women to believe that I'm more mature than I actually am.