I Want to Vent myself One more Time Before I Leave

[VeryShyGuy]

This is the most difficult thread I have written now, and all these thoughts are the very ones that cause me the most emotional pain.

 

I truly want to know what it feels like to be loved. I am sure you say that my family loves me, but I just don't feel their love. My father worries about my mother's health. My mother worries about the stability of the family and the growing financial crisis. My sister sees my parents unability to change themselves for the better and views them with a certain degree of disrespect. Among the daily stress and growing financial problems I just don't feel loved. Why is it that my parents rarely compliment me or provide me with moral support or have faith in my abilities? How can I EVER achieve ANY goals like this?

 

Where did my childhood go? Childhood is so simple and carefree compared to adulthood. However from growing up, I found that life isn't so simple, accomplishing simple dreams like having a stable career, a nice home, plenty of family and friends, a healthy body, self-esteem, inner peace, respect from your friends, having loving wife..etc (i.e. ideals that people measure their happiness by) is among the most difficult to gain and hold. These goals, sure people do achieve some of them, but what is difficult is achieving all of them.

 

I truly want is a carefree life, but having a carefree life would mean overcoming every single insecurity and worry first, else this "carefree life" would be a nothing but a facade to hide all my problems.

 

I want to improve myself, but I don't know how.

 

Everytime I am around this girl I like, I found that I am forgetting all my worries and trying to live for the moment and try to enjoy my life. This is the main reason why I want to start a serious relationship. I want to know what it feels like to love and be loved in return unconditionally.

 

I truly want a girl that I can confide my innermost thoughts with (there isn't much people in "real life" that would do that for you). I want a girl who will give me the love and support I feel that I lack from my family and to help me improve myself. As much as I like this particular girl, I cannot burden her with all my problems, and what would truly break my spirit is that I will drive away the first girl I fall in love with by deep emotional pain.

 

These problems run too deeply that it defines my very existence. Will I forever be made to suffer silently? Or will one day I change myself and forge a spirit that cannot be broken by any hardship? Despite these heavy issues that I feel burden my very soul, I will attempt to take a more positive perspective towards life for myself, my future and my family.

[Princess777]

Greetings.

 

I personally can relate somewhat to what you're feeling, and I also know two people who are very close to me who felt the same things you're feeling, but with worse family conditions growing up.

 

I think that your best bet is to remain optimistic, which is obviously what you're doing... and really, you can't do more than the best that you can do. You have a good attitude, and you still want love. That shows who you are and what you can share with someone special when you meet her. Don't lose that. I think the real problem starts when you don't want love anymore or that you don't feel that you are capable of giving love. As long as you still want good things in your life, you're doing okay and you will get them over time.

 

I know this probably didn't help much but I wanted to respond.

[Optimistic37]

hey, im kinda feeling the same as you. At the moment I am feeling pretty depressed cause I feel I am not being loved. Everyone is leaving me (bro and sis have now left for uni) and parents are ignoring me a lot. I always feel alone.

However, everytime I'm around my best mate, who is a girl, at school I feel so much better. I really want to thank her for being who she is and making me feel loved. I love her soo much and what makes me sad is that she already has a boyfriend who she loves dearly and I feel once we move to uni i wont see her as much and I wont be happy.

[ShySoul]

Hi VeryShyGuy,

 

As another shy guy I know just where your coming from. You expressed your feelings remarkable well and I can relate to everything you said. I want to know that someone truly cares about me and loves me but feel like that will never happen. Being shy, I'm guessing you've looked to your family for support like I have. But what do you do when they seem to be too concerned with themselves to recognize that you need them. It's a tough situation and I wish I knew what to say. Know that they do love you even though they might not sure it well. If you can, try talking to someone in your family abot how you feel. That is what family is for right, to help you when your down?

 

Everyone wants things like innerpeace, a good job, respect of friends, and someone to love. But those are things you have to work for, we're not handed anything on a silver platter. Somepeople have to work harder for the life they want. It's not fair but it's the way things are. If you work hard, struggle, and eventually achieve your goals, think about how you will feel then. The sense of accomplishment will make everything you've earned be that much sweeter. Have faith, things will get better.

 

I also understand wanting someone to love but being afraid of scaring them away. But if you never take the chance on asking a girl, you'll never have someone to confide in and will always have to carry the full burden yourself. Talk to the girl. Of course, don't be unloading all your problems on her at first. Be her friend and get to know each other. Try doing things with her. If it gets to a point where you're really comfortable with each other, you can start sharing your feelings with her. I went through this with a girl but let my fears get in the way and blew my chnce at love. Learn from my mistake, talk to her.

 

Finally, don't get to down. Everyone has problems and nobody lives a completely carefree life. Focus on the good things in your life, no matter how small. Believe that you are a good person with lots of good qualities. Have confidence and believe in yourself. Don't let your problems or troubles define your life, define your life by the good things. Keep positive and good luck.