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Does the time it takes for a text reply really matter?

diddums

By diddums
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diddums Enthusiast

diddums

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Started texting this girl last week but she takes ages to reply, few hours to a day, I've even had longer. Now this isn't unusual as she's always like this, rarely quickly replys unless she's home. Her texts always seem to be interesting or contain a joke/something fun, substance, questions etc. Never 1 word or blunt sentences. If she takes a long time like 2 days she apologies and explains why. But she doesn't initiate contact. She seems to reply instantly on Facebook aswell.

 

Thing is, does time matter with replys? I can't figure out if she likes me or not, ino she's busy at times but is it more what we say than how long or does time count for something?

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brickheart Enthusiast

brickheart

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I would say generally I take longer to reply to someone I'm not as interested in, and I also initiate more if I'm more interested. That's just a general rule. I wouldn't say she's playing a game with you either way, though - she's either busy (as people are saying) or just not prioritizing you in some other way.

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jaciej Newbie

jaciej

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Maybe you are over-texting.

 

Some people have a habit of constantly texting, and if you are busy its just not appropriate to keep reaching for your phone to respond to every reply. You need to keep yourself occupied and not be counting the hours. Some texts dont even need a response.

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octour Enthusiast

octour

Posted
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Started texting this girl last week but she takes ages to reply, few hours to a day, I've even had longer. Now this isn't unusual as she's always like this, rarely quickly replys unless she's home. Her texts always seem to be interesting or contain a joke/something fun, substance, questions etc. Never 1 word or blunt sentences. If she takes a long time like 2 days she apologies and explains why. But she doesn't initiate contact. She seems to reply instantly on Facebook aswell.

 

Thing is, does time matter with replys? I can't figure out if she likes me or not, ino she's busy at times but is it more what we say than how long or does time count for something?

 

I think it depends on what the text is about or if it needs immediate attention. But other than that, it only matters to the insecurity of the person who sent it and is now flipping out why you haven't responded within the last 93 seconds.

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epsilon2x Rookie

epsilon2x

Posted
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Started texting this girl last week but she takes ages to reply, few hours to a day, I've even had longer. Now this isn't unusual as she's always like this, rarely quickly replys unless she's home. Her texts always seem to be interesting or contain a joke/something fun, substance, questions etc. Never 1 word or blunt sentences. If she takes a long time like 2 days she apologies and explains why. But she doesn't initiate contact. She seems to reply instantly on Facebook aswell.

 

Thing is, does time matter with replys? I can't figure out if she likes me or not, ino she's busy at times but is it more what we say than how long or does time count for something?

 

This is one of many reasons why I don't text girls that I'm dating unless the message is something like "hey im running about 15 minutes late". If you just called her when you wanted to talk then you wouldn't have these trivial issues and you wouldn't be getting mind-f**ked.

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octour Enthusiast

octour

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Who are we kidding here??? I'd be totally offended if the chick I was interested in, took days to reply to my texts. I would even be kinda pissed if she took hours to respond. I don't make people hang if I'm into them.

 

I don't think it was the OP's point of making somebody wait or playing games with response time. But more about how people cling to their phones and expect a response immediately and get pissed when they don't. When sometimes, like driving or at work, it's just impossible. I'd be bummed and wondering too why a girl would take so long to respond but I certainly wouldn't get crazy upset the way my ex used to when I didn't respond to her texts during my lunch rush at my restaurant. Sorry hunny, but you're gonna have to wait. I have to make a living. Don't take it personal. And respect the fact that people have certain things that they need to do or, dare I say, more important than answering a text right away. If it's important, dial don't text and respect the fact that sometimes you're just gonna have to wait.

 

And yes, this became a big problem with my ex and I. She just couldn't understand how I could be so busy from the hours of 12-2 (her lunch break as well) during work. And that never made any sense to me. And the best part about it was that I couldn't call her if I wanted to as her work wouldn't allow cell phones in the workplace. So I needed to be at her beck and call but she would get back to me when she could. Yeah, that sounds fair

 

I'd be more worried about the lack of her initiating contact. Hold out for a few days and let her contact you. If she doesn't, move on and find somebody else.

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punished Rookie

punished

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If you just called her when you wanted to talk then you wouldn't have these trivial issues and you wouldn't be getting mind-f**ked.

 

exactly! I don't think I have ever texted anything except "can you pick up a coffee on your way over". Otherwise...call! What is the big attraction to texting anyway? The last thing I'm concerned about is how long it takes me or him to respond.

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abitbroken Grand Master

abitbroken

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If she responds to you quickly when she is home or on facebook - the fact is, she just isn't really a texting type of girl. It obviously has nothing to do with her interest level if she gets back to you in other ways more quickly. And if she responds faster when she is home...well...she can't text at work. She is busy. Just call her already

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Ms Darcy Mentor

Ms Darcy

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If you really want to connect with her, call her. Some people do not text during work or class, and heck, I even forgot my phone at home today by accident. And most times, it's in my purse, so I barely hear it.

 

try calling. I hate texting. I would much prefer an old school phone call.

 

exactly! I don't think I have ever texted anything except "can you pick up a coffee on your way over". Otherwise...call! What is the big attraction to texting anyway? The last thing I'm concerned about is how long it takes me or him to respond.

 

I agree ... if it's important then call!!! IF it's not important then wait til you see her in person.

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gluestick Contributor

gluestick

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Agree with all others. I hate texting unless if I'm stuck in traffic, running late and needed to let the person/people I'm meeting know. Even then, I prefer calling.

 

My general rule is, if I'm not interested in a guy or if he's low on my priority list, then the text back to him can wait. Exception being I'm too busy to check my phone or I didn't hear the "ding ding" text msg notification.

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diddums Enthusiast

diddums

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Wow wasn't expecting so many responses haha! Ok so bit of history as some of you are jumping to things that have slightly happened. We dated months back, stopped as we both became so busy dating seemed to be impossible, due to our work and unis. I did call her a while back when we dated so I shall call again soon, to arrange something again. We both have time now.

 

This post kinda shows to me a slight point I was making about time. Like some of you say everyone differs, some guys/girls get annoyed by long waits for a text or call back, Ive seen some people get annoyed over nothing after 10minutes! Like posts on here have shown, some of you feel offended by the wait, some of you don't.

This girl has always been a long waited texter, ever since the day I contacted her after meeting her. Like abitbroken said maybe shes not a texter? So I accepted that way back then. I feel its whats in the message rather than how long or who started it.

She has maybe twice initiated contact with me ever. Some say it would show she may not be interested, from some girls views that ino of some say they dont like to intiate ever as they dont want to appear needy and feel the guy should start things.

Once again, some people are more forward or some more traditional. My ex was way more forward and would message me, a friend of mine his girlfriend rarely contacted him at the start till she felt more comfortable.

 

Not once have I ever jumped down this girls throat though or sent repeated messages. I give her around 3-4 days before I text or message again. As sometimes people forget as we can all be busy, I take a few hours to a day to reply sometimes, but its because I work and have 2 jobs I hold down. I only ever give a text for a text, never will I send 2 for 1 in response, and I will only contact with something of worth. Never will I send her "o wow this guy just fell in a puddle lol!" Just to attempt a poor try of contact, its pointless and has nothing worth for her. Now if we had gone out and seen a guy fall into a puddle and we had laugh and then I saw it by myself and sent it in a text. It has some slight worth depending how you word it to her.

 

Because of a technological age with instant messages, people grow impatient and more into a mindset of NOW OR NEVER!!! In my opinion. (This all coming from a 21 year old haha.) But aswell I'm guilty of relying on my phone as a form of contact.

 

I was asking for help aswell as a question on here, some of the help I've seen on here is great. Only time shall tell what happens really, but sometimes things need to be taken slowly.

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mines Community Regular

mines

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I'm late, but chiming in anyway

 

If someone is important to me, or in the case of new/growing/just meeting someone etc. situations. . . . . I will respond to the text. Period.

 

I don't text while driving; my phone lives in my purse if I'm out shopping/errands, etc; sometimes at work I have to keep my phone put away or on silent, though I do try to check it throughout the day; when I'm on long runs (2 hours to 4 hours) I am completely away from it. Bottom line, it might take me 5 minutes to respond to a text or it might take me a few hours/overnight if the text comes in while I'm sleeping.

 

But days? Never, not if it is someone I like/want to communicate with.

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Brightest Dark Explorer

Brightest Dark

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Sometimes I take longer to reply if it's a guy I like (if I'm unsure of how he feels to me) as I may not want him to think I am too keen. I'm always worried that if he's not interested, I'll come accross as too eager or too much of a pain in the ass. It depends what his texts say though. I'm not a big texter anyway, I prefer email. I rarely text people at the best of times. But just because I didn't reply the same day to a guy it wouldn't necessarily mean I wasn't interested... the same way as some people are big text addicts and text everyone all the time - so getting a quick text from them would mean nothing. It's more down to what's in the text and what the person is like in general.

 

What did you say in the last text? Was it a question that required an answer? Sometimes if someone just sends a text without a question I think "Do they want me to reply? Is there something worth replying to there?"

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diddums Enthusiast

diddums

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My last text had a question but from what I've gathered from friends her phones being playing up so she hasn't even had some messages which even they sent. Always something so simple is possible. I'm just gonna call her after this weekend when im free. I'm not expecting a reply to my text now, don't wanna send another out either.

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Ms Darcy Mentor

Ms Darcy

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My last text had a question but from what I've gathered from friends her phones being playing up so she hasn't even had some messages which even they sent. Always something so simple is possible. I'm just gonna call her after this weekend when im free. I'm not expecting a reply to my text now, don't wanna send another out either.

 

I am sorry to sound mean but all this text philosophy stuff is a little silly. Just call fool! And in the future, just call again.

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Pineapplejuice Newbie

Pineapplejuice

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Because of a technological age with instant messages, people grow impatient and more into a mindset of NOW OR NEVER!!! In my opinion. (This all coming from a 21 year old haha.) But aswell I'm guilty of relying on my phone as a form of contact.

So true.

 

And. I also don't text if it's important. I hate talking by phone but when you can't tell or ask the things in person you just have to call. I also don't expect an answer when I text because I don't ask anything, so hey, why do I need an answer?

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