My Girlfriend Wants to get Breast Implants

[Huntress0527]

This is a sad reason to get implants. Everyone was teased at some point in their childhood. I was told by one boy I was ugly. I was also told that I looked like a duck because I have full lips. Funny how you remember the bad stuff! Anyway yeah my lips are freakin awesome and guess what men love them. Kids are dumb, lol.

 

She should be proud of her body and her personality and not let others dictate how she should view her body.

[EQIQ]

I agree with you guys, however it is not my call to make. I have made it very clear to her that I love her the way she is now. I don't need any change there. She thanks me, and smiles, and I can see and feel the genuine happiness and appreciation in her, but then she replies by saying that it is not about that, it is something she will do for her.

 

I asked if she would feel inadequate as a sexual partner the way she is now, with small breasts... and she says.. "kinda"...

 

I think like ToV said, this might be something that when she is older, she will look back and realize that it was not the big deal she made it out to be. I am definitely not going to oppose her. If I was in her position, I would want support and understanding, and that is what I will give to her. I don't think it is necessary, or even wise to go through with it, but it's her choice, for her to make.

 

By the way, quite a few people have asked her if she has done work as a model in the past lol. She is tall, fit, nice face. hmmm.. okay gonna stop now before I get an erection lol

[JA0371]

Larger breasts will not make your g/f a better sex partner...the most important sexual organ is between the ears. Maybe she wants other people to say 'wow' you look amazing...and there is nothing wrong with that..just say that's the reason, if it is.

[Huntress0527]

I think her getting implants is a superficial solution to the deep problem which is her self esteem. I think therapy is more suiting- at least suggest it before getting the implants.

[OptomisticGirl]

Having bigger breasts won't take away those bully scars, implants are just a band aide to the deeper problem.

[EQIQ]

Having bigger breasts won't take away those bully scars, implants are just a band aide to the deeper problem.

 

She has to want to tackle the problem herself, if she views it as a problem. I think that the more I bring up this topic, the more of a big deal it will become. I will leave it alone. We are on the same page that we like to be open and discuss things, but I don't think hammering the same nail will push it any further into the wood at this point. I told her many times that I worry about what is on her head, not the implant itself, and that I want to help her deal with this. That we will be together, and should help each other with our insecurities etc. She agreed with me, and feels the same way, but she is doing the implants lol...

 

Doing this for her is very important... so.. whatever, let her do it. If it becomes a deal breaker for me because she changes who she is, or because of other consequences, then so be it. She knows very well that this is on her end, not mine. She told me something yesterday that I found interesting. That if this was a dealbreaker for a guy, that she would have walked away. Also that if the guy tried to pressure her into doing this, it would be a dealbreaker for her.

 

I am okay with this now. In the end the implants won't solve the insecurity. BUT I don't see how they would add or make it worse either. So it is a non-factor. If she wants it, it is important to her, is no harm to me, it is her body, whatever. She is well aware of possible repercussions, so it's her decision. I am fine with it now.

[Lonewing]

Have any of you actually talked much less met a girl with implants? Some of you might be shocked or surprised at how far off you are on your psychological assumptions.

[Huntress0527]

Have any of you actually talked much less met a girl with implants? Some of you might be shocked or surprised at how far off you are on your psychological assumptions.

 

I have and felt them.

[Pinnacle]

You're okay with it, but do you want her to do it. Yes/no? I would argue that the bullying factor is actually not the leading cause, but merely a coincidental "and yeah that too" kind of thing. And to note about the penis implant/enlargement issue, have fun with blood flow issues when you mess with that area. Functionality wise fake breasts can do the job in regard to breast feeding, but I don't think guys would enjoy the same functionality (not a doctor, pure speculation). You wouldn't be able to enjoy the new and improved member anyway, so did you get the desired effect?

 

That if this was a dealbreaker for a guy, that she would have walked away.

 

Wouldn't the guy have walked away first. I digress...

[OptomisticGirl]

Have any of you actually talked much less met a girl with implants? Some of you might be shocked or surprised at how far off you are on your psychological assumptions.

 

Yep, and felt them (long story). One girl got them simply because he wanted to be bigger (no bullying) and still has them. Great pair. She didn't go too big, they look like they could be Er natural boobs. Other girl got them for the reason the OP's girl is getting them and it's just been one operation after another. They are never big enough to fill that scar from being bullied. Now she' also added in Botox, talking butt implant...

[Lonewing]

I'm just saying, lots of pweople are saying these implants will not solve the insecurity, or heal the bullying, or be anywhere near as effective as simple therapy [the "one size fits all" solution...]

 

Let's put this in terms of Linus' Blanket.

 

If the root cause of her insecurity is her small chest, if she's upset about her small chest, if this is what has been bothering her for all these years, no amount of mental pressure or mental conditioning is going to reverse what isn't there. At the end of the day, she's still small chested and what she'd want most is to be at least moderately chested, so the truth of the matter will be staring her in the mirror every time she sees herself again.

 

If her small chest is the root of her insecurity issues, yes, implants will actually have a profound impact on her insecurity.

 

She may even discover she no longer needs you, which I think is your biggest fear here: in getting these implants, you're afraid she's going to become someone you no longer know - not just physcially, but emotionally and mentally too.

 

You'll just have to deal with this bridge when you come to it, if such things happen.

 

There may come a time when she doesn't need them anymore and she can get rid of them, though it's more than likely they'll just become a part of who she is without a second thought.

[tattoobunnie]

I'm met and felt lots of women with them, and have them. That's what I find funny about this thread. I think maybe one or two people who've responded may have felt a pair or dated a girl once with them. But that's about it. I'm not insecure, have no weird body issues. I just wanted them, and got them for myself. It didn't change my personality. I'm not loose, or out on the prowl. I didn't have any complications. And now 8 or so years later, they still are awesome! I've had several boyfriends who were good about them, and my hubby loves my boobs. I can't get him off of them sometimes. I don't regret the $7K I spent on them either. I love them!

 

What I also find funny is if people get tattoos, piercings, $1000 dollar shoes, fancy cars, contact lenses, glasses, work-out heavily, gain lots of weight, wear a padded bra, or have same-sex preferences...we don't automatically assume these people are covering up some DEEP SEEDED ISSUES!!!! No, people, people want what people want, and your opinions will not make the other person content, happy, depressed, or satisfied. A person's choice is a person's choice, with their body, clothing, and lifestyle.

 

In fact, thank god the OP is man enough to support what his lady wants.

[OptomisticGirl]

^ most don't har deep seeded issues, but the OP's girl clearly does as she expressed she did.

[Pinnacle]

I'm met and felt lots of women with them, and have them. That's what I find funny about this thread. I think maybe one or two people who've responded may have felt a pair or dated a girl once with them. But that's about it. I'm not insecure, have no weird body issues. I just wanted them, and got them for myself. It didn't change my personality. I'm not loose, or out on the prowl. I didn't have any complications. And now 8 or so years later, they still are awesome! I've had several boyfriends who were good about them, and my hubby loves my boobs. I can't get him off of them sometimes. I don't regret the $7K I spent on them either. I love them!

 

So only those with experience in handling fake breasts are able to properly comment on such a situation? That's like saying I can't offer women dating advice because I have never dealt with the issue of actually dating a male.

[tattoobunnie]

Well, the opinions get lop-sided. So let's say you've never dated a women with implants, yet you are giving someone advice about how it'll change their relationship, and she will change, and she will do this or that, and what to expect...the truth is, you can't. All you can do is go by what you prefer, what you are against, and statistics.

[tattoobunnie]

^ most don't har deep seeded issues, but the OP's girl clearly does as she expressed she did.

 

No he didn't. He did say she got a complex because of her cousins. But deep-seeded issues...I'm thinking, saw your mom get chopped up, or was once a guy, but can't tell anyone, and now are in therapy for everything. Ultimately, she wants bigger boobs. She's not aiming to be some giant boobie queen and working in the porn industry.

[Lonewing]

So only those with experience in handling fake breasts are able to properly comment on such a situation? That's like saying I can't offer women dating advice because I have never dealt with the issue of actually dating a male.

 

It is wisdom to know one's limitations. If you've never had an experience with a girl who has implants, even as just a friend, it would be truthful to say you lack the experience to be able to say one way or another, yes?

[OptomisticGirl]

No he didn't. He did say she got a complex because of her cousins. But deep-seeded issues...I'm thinking, saw your mom get chopped up, or was once a guy, but can't tell anyone, and now are in therapy for everything. Ultimately, she wants bigger boobs. She's not aiming to be some giant boobie queen and working in the porn industry.

 

Bullying can leave just as deep of scars as seeing your mom get chopped up. I've over come a lot but there are still things I can not do because of how ruthlessly I was bullied as a child and teenager. It's a deep seeded issue. There is nothing wrong with wanting bigger boobs. However to use them as a band aide for a deeper issue - because it is an issue if it's to te poit it's causing her to want bigger boobs - is not on the same level as getting them simply to get them. I liken that irresponsible choice with those who just walk into a tattoo shop and pick a design out simply because they want one and think t will be cool.

 

I'm in no way advocating therapy - however I think in te log run it could cause more problems if done for this reason. Getting bigger boobs isn't going to take away the complex she got from being bullied, that has to come from within.

[tattoobunnie]

But the OP never calls them deep scars. It writes it like she got a complex about them. Man, I had a totally huge complex about my eye lids, and was made fun of them repeatedly, but totally got over that more than a decade ago. And yes, deep scars can be impossible to get over, but I don't think she is feeling is on par with what happened with you.

[OptomisticGirl]

But the OP never calls them deep scars. It writes it like she got a complex about them. Man, I had a totally huge complex about my eye lids, and was made fun of them repeatedly, but totally got over that more than a decade ago. And yes, deep scars can be impossible to get over, but I don't think she is feeling is on par with what happened with you.

 

She wants to get bigger boobs because she was bullied about having a small chest, pretty sure that's on par with what I did to cover my bully scars up over what I was bullied on. If it was bad enough to give you a complexion and want to alter your physical appearance BECAUSE of that, it's on par.

[tattoobunnie]

They may not be related at all. We don't really know what is going through the girlfriend's mind. All we got is second hand information from what the boyfriend is saying. People alter their appearance in so many ways, and it may have nothing to do with insecurities. And similar things can happen to two different people, yet how they internalize it can be completely different as well.

[tattoobunnie]

Don't get me wrong OptomisticGirl. I want to acknowledge that you may have gone through really crazy stuff. Just keep in mind, the more distance you get from it, you may find you are so much more than the limitations you once gave youself...That you are strong, and not letting your childhood self make you feel the way you do as an adult, or affect the choices you make. I have come to keep the past in the past, cuz when you don't your past becomes your future.

[Pinnacle]

It is wisdom to know one's limitations. If you've never had an experience with a girl who has implants, even as just a friend, it would be truthful to say you lack the experience to be able to say one way or another, yes?

 

Not saying she is wrong in her assertion and I would actually agree, but rather I have been lambasted in the past stating that women can not offer the same level of advice to a male about dating a female. I just find it interesting that any perceived lack of experience with fake breasts does matter, but gender does not when it comes to advice.

 

For what it's worth, your girlfriend is viewing a breast job with rose-tinted glasses. Her reaction to them may be positive or negative post operation. Quoting random people

 

I recently had breast augmentation on January 15th. At that time I convinced myself I was doing it for the right reasons. Soon there after I felt depressed, and like I wanted them out of my body. My Doctor reassured me that this was normal, and to give it some time. Once I came back for a follow up appt. six weeks later I told him I still felt the same, and from there we discussed removing the implants. Something inside of me didn't feel right as I had anticipated it to. My doctor did an amazing job, but I just wasn't happy with how they looked on ME. I am really small, so it just didn't look the way I had expected. I had my breast implants removed yesterday (2 months after implantation). I am only 25 years old, so the possibility of having stretched out breasts was a risk that I had to take. I can happyily say that the surgery went very well thanks to a ps. The doctor told me to look down at my breasts. I didn't want to because I was afraid. I had seen horrible pictures online, and I was horrified that I would look the same. He reassured me that they looked good, and they infact did. My advice to anyone considering plastic surgery would be to think about it long and hard. Make your appt. a year away, so that you are internalizing what you will be doing. Looking back I now see I made a totally irrational decision in the heat of excitement. I have been through so much emotionally these past 2 months, and I wouldn't wish this upon anybody. Not mentioning all of the money I have wasted. With all of this said I have many friends who love their breast implants, they just weren't for me. Make sure they are for you, and for the right reasons.

 

Hello Casey. I am so glad I saw your post! I had mine done 8 days ago and I feel the same way! This is just so not who I am and I cannot stand having them in me. I go tomorrow to have stitches out and I know he is going to tell me this is normal and give it time. However, I have never been more sure of anything. I want them out. I am normally a really positive person and have it together but I have been a wreck over this. Thanks for your post!

 

What's interesting is that A LOT of women seemed to have regretting not going larger. There are more women happy with them than without them in my short amount of time looking into it. If she does get them, it doesn't guarantee she will be happy with them.

[OptomisticGirl]

Don't get me wrong OptomisticGirl. I want to acknowledge that you may have gone through really crazy stuff. Just keep in mind, the more distance you get from it, you may find you are so much more than the limitations you once gave youself...That you are strong, and not letting your childhood self make you feel the way you do as an adult, or affect the choices you make. I have come to keep the past in the past, cuz when you don't your past becomes your future.

 

I dealt with the fallout of being sexually abused and bullied long ago Tattoobunnie. It's not something I lingered on, it's not how I operate or heal. Being bullied doesn't dictate who I am as an adult or the choices I've made, if it had I'd be blonde with the top of the line designer clothes on my closet. Im neither. But as you yourself, one should not let the issues of childhood dictate our choices as adults, which applies to this situation of a woman having been bullied about small breasts and getting implants because of that. It could work wonders for her, or completely back fire.

[EQIQ]

She may even discover she no longer needs you, which I think is your biggest fear here: in getting these implants, you're afraid she's going to become someone you no longer know - not just physcially, but emotionally and mentally too.

 

You'll just have to deal with this bridge when you come to it, if such things happen.

 

 

I have ZERO fear that she will leave me past operation lol... this is not my worry at ALL...

 

I am really concerned for her, because I care about her. I talked to her, and she is set on her decision. She has decided what to do with her body, she "knows" what will make her feel best. Who am I to challenge her opinions about herself and her desires? If I thought that dying my hair black, getting laser eye surgery, or even a sex change would make me happy, who is anyone to challenge what I feel about myself? To tell me that what I am feeling is not really true, I am mistaken etc.

 

She is aware of the risks. She knows what she is doing. Do I like it? Not particularly, for me it is whatever. Makes no real difference to me. Maybe I will like it in the end.. who knows... Like I have said many times, what makes a difference to me is what is the reason she is doing this? Will this make her unhappy in the future? Is there really another need, and she is just putting a band-aid on it?

 

It is still her choice to make. If I don't like the outcome, I will walk. But I don't think that that will be the case.

 

P.S: Pinnacle, my comment about the penis implant was just an example lol... I don't have a problem with the "plumbing in my house" lol...