jacqueline45 Posted February 16, 2012 Share Posted February 16, 2012 I have met a guy on an online dating website who is married and looking for FWB. At first I thought I was comfortable with it and did not mind FWB/ Now that he has responded all of a sudden i am backing out becoming intimate with this man . For some reason I see that once think I am ok with something, once confronted I get apprehensive like I am not being my true self. He is very attractive, successful (At least from chat and profile, could be a lie) anyway I think may like him more. So I avoid any contact with him and every time he ask to go out for cocktails I bail out. Even though I really wanna risk it and try it. I mean you guys he is gorgeous and I know me once with him I will be hooked based on knowing myself. Remember I have only seem him on line so who really knows. May not be what I think it is. It is like I am scared to meet him in person I get a weird feeling or voice saying do not do it. He has not said anything to make me feel cautious (actually nice conversation) it is just a feeling of uncertainty is all. What are your thoughts. I am asked him why he was seeking an FWB and married out of curiosity. He stated happy "happy with what he has just looking to enhance!" LOL! He is the only one on the website that is the FINEST LOOKING! I have my eye on him the rest can kick rocks. the rest that contact me look lik wet dog rejects and perverts. I am a very visual person because I think I am attractive as well and so do others. What are your thoughts? Link to comment
Capricorn3 Posted February 16, 2012 Share Posted February 16, 2012 What are your thoughts? My thoughts are that you should know better than to get involved with a MARRIED man. Also, it shows you his true character. What a jerk. Stay away from him and find someone who's single. Link to comment
DylanNotorious Posted February 16, 2012 Share Posted February 16, 2012 Wanting someone based solely on their looks is stupid. Not caring that he is married is even stupider. But maybe your not so stupid after-all, as you stopped yourself before getting involved. Link to comment
Circe Posted February 16, 2012 Share Posted February 16, 2012 I would listen to your gut. Don't do something you don't feel truly comfortable with. I'm not sure why you follow his "I'm looking to enhance" with "LOL"? What's funny/amusing about his answer? What are you looking for by the way? Because it doesn't sound like you are looking for sex and nothing but sex. Yet that is all you will get from him. Link to comment
annie24 Posted February 16, 2012 Share Posted February 16, 2012 Wanting someone based solely on their looks is stupid. Not caring that he is married is even stupider. But maybe your not so stupid after-all, as you stopped yourself before getting involved. agreed!! time to lose his phone number, blah!!!!! Link to comment
Huntress0527 Posted February 16, 2012 Share Posted February 16, 2012 Wanting someone based solely on their looks is stupid. Not caring that he is married is even stupider. But maybe your not so stupid after-all, as you stopped yourself before getting involved. Don't need to read any other posts. Read this one over and over again. Link to comment
pl3asehelp Posted February 16, 2012 Share Posted February 16, 2012 You sound so shallow you're bound to have bad relationships until you come around. This guy is married - please respect that, even though he doesn't, and stay away. Link to comment
Batya33 Posted February 16, 2012 Share Posted February 16, 2012 You wouldn't be an FWB -you'd be his sex partner when he wants a little something on the side. If having intercourse with "gorgeous" is worth all the risks -STDs, pregnancy, his wife finding out and trying to retaliate and the general risks and dangers of meeting a stranger in a private place to have sex then sure go for it -it's your choice but that is how I would weigh the risks and benefits. Oh and of course if you believe in karma watch out if you ever decide to be in a committed relationship. Link to comment
blueidealist24 Posted February 16, 2012 Share Posted February 16, 2012 You're unsure, and he's married. MARRIED! Of course you have reasons to be unsure. Listen to your gut, it's SMART. Link to comment
jacqueline45 Posted February 17, 2012 Author Share Posted February 17, 2012 I said that that was the issue. But all of the advice was right on point and it all is logical and the right thing to do. I know what to do just needed clarification and yes I am smart which is why I had doubts. Thanks everyone. Link to comment
jacqueline45 Posted February 17, 2012 Author Share Posted February 17, 2012 Stupid is a bit harsh. We all make unwise choices. Hmmmm what are yours? Cheating perhaps yourself? Funny because most men are the initiating cheaters. Your advice is taken, the term stupid is not. U could have saved that and I am sure you refer to your MISTRESS in the same word behind her back. Usually cheaters which u probably share the same characteristics as this guy (the jerk he is) state harsh comments such as yourself. So maybe you are trying to convince yourself about your cheating. So stay of my wall STUPID IS AS STUPID DOES. Hard to comprehend. Read it again. Link to comment
jacqueline45 Posted February 17, 2012 Author Share Posted February 17, 2012 Never had number and he never called mine. So it is cool. Never got that far and won't now. Thanks for advice. Link to comment
jacqueline45 Posted February 17, 2012 Author Share Posted February 17, 2012 Didn't agree on calling just chatted on line is all. But not feeling good about any of it at all. Yes HE IS A JERK! ABSOLUTELY TO ALL THE ABOVE COMMENTS> Link to comment
jacqueline45 Posted February 17, 2012 Author Share Posted February 17, 2012 Not shallow. But you are judgmental. I already said from the above statement that I want to respect his marriage and plan to just an online person I never met so it is not that serious just looking for advice and feed back. All guys I have dated were attractive that is just what happens. I have a right to want a nice looking person that is SINGLE. The single person I find will be attractive as well if that is what you were referring to meaning shallow. I will never date a BEAR! Regardless of appearance. I have that choice fortunately and I do not have to settle for a single person that is not attractive. Link to comment
stickman Posted February 17, 2012 Share Posted February 17, 2012 When in doubt....DONT Link to comment
Batya33 Posted February 17, 2012 Share Posted February 17, 2012 Not shallow. But you are judgmental. I already said from the above statement that I want to respect his marriage and plan to just an online person I never met so it is not that serious just looking for advice and feed back. All guys I have dated were attractive that is just what happens. I have a right to want a nice looking person that is SINGLE. The single person I find will be attractive as well if that is what you were referring to meaning shallow. I will never date a BEAR! Regardless of appearance. I have that choice fortunately and I do not have to settle for a single person that is not attractive. I'm glad you decided to start respecting that he is married - hopefully next time you won't respond at all to someone who is married -sounds like that's where you're headed. Yes, you should find someone you are attracted to - to me that has little to do with a person's physical features unless you also want someone you can show off to your friends or the world because of his physical features. Link to comment
jacqueline45 Posted February 17, 2012 Author Share Posted February 17, 2012 What else attracts a person to another person at first what else do you have to go by when seeing them until you get to know them and what is inside. We as people are visal creatures by nature (nice figure, physique, men- love a nice smile pretty face and body) so quit acting like you any different from another man. It is not about showing someone of family friends. It is not about they think. How stupid and immature is that. It is about what i like looking at. They are being intimate or dating him I am. I am nice lookin as well so why would I feel the need toshow of someonething I already am. If that waas the case we would be showing each other off. I am not unattractive I do not suffer from low self esteem in order to show somone off. Ugly people have eye candy. I am not one of them. Fat and women that are not sure of themselves show guy off. Where are you from where women show men off. High school crap. Sounds like something a sugar mommy would do (older unattractive women with young guy) with a piece of eye candy. I either like a guy from the beginning or not aint no growing on me. I have to like what you look like intially to even seek something deeper. I am not into showing people off you got it all twisted. I like what I like because I know what attracts me. We live in a shallow world where infortunately some people do base some things of physical looks. Look at tv who is on there. Beautiful people on tv (fat and unattractive physical features are never in style) are nice looking. The better you look the further you go in life an are treated better. Both for guys and girls. at 48 u should know that just look around u/ so yes I will always like nice features on a man. Then I will find out what is in their heart. Right exactly to you it has little to do with but there is some there as well I agree not everything though. An ugly guy has never grown on me for nothing else but friendship that is platonic. Kissing an intimacy have to be physical attraction to even put m ylips on someone. Not kissing or having intimate relationship with a guy that look like werewolf. come on now. gotta have nice lips and good physique to have intimacy. That is me. I mean who doesn't find Denzel or Brad Pitt or El Debarge someone you see to have nice features that you would want or find attractive. Link to comment
jacqueline45 Posted February 17, 2012 Author Share Posted February 17, 2012 Wanting someone based on looks soley is not stupid. People do it all the time when men are interested in a woman. They look at her and say "Man I wanna meet her she is hot and sexy!" It happens everyday. Tell the truth. You are man and u sit and in awe over beautiful women you see be in a picture, in social setting etc. So stop lying to yourself. Men do it all the time. Then afterwards they determine after talking to her if she has anything else internally. Looks is the intial reaction and will always be sorry. Link to comment
jacqueline45 Posted February 17, 2012 Author Share Posted February 17, 2012 Thanks all. Gonna have a great time in bed with him. LOL! Just kidding. Link to comment
Capricorn3 Posted February 18, 2012 Share Posted February 18, 2012 ^^ It's responses like that which make you lose all credibility. No need to be rude to people when you asked for their advice. Link to comment
annie24 Posted February 18, 2012 Share Posted February 18, 2012 I agree that attraction is important in establishing a relationship, but you need a lot more to keep a relationship going. This man is married though, why even take it the next level? Link to comment
jacqueline45 Posted February 21, 2012 Author Share Posted February 21, 2012 I apologize. Enough said. Link to comment
jacqueline45 Posted February 21, 2012 Author Share Posted February 21, 2012 I haven't i never met nor talked on phone. changed mind. I felt low and guilty and not who. I am sorry for beimg rude to any of the above. Link to comment
annie24 Posted February 21, 2012 Share Posted February 21, 2012 good for you. now you can focus on finding a single man!! Link to comment
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