dumPI Posted February 1, 2012 Share Posted February 1, 2012 I want you to notice that when we come to ENA and read threads like this we feel better, positive and we feel everything is possible. On the other hand if we read threads about break ups and reconciliations not working we get a bad mood and bad state of mind. We are going to move on anyway so let's choose the best state of mind. We don't know what the future holds for us, but I think we do play an important role in it once healed. Link to comment
loulou37 Posted February 1, 2012 Author Share Posted February 1, 2012 I want you to notice that when we come to ENA and read threads like this we feel better, positive and we feel everything is possible. On the other hand if we read threads about break ups and reconciliations not working we get a bad mood and bad state of mind. We are going to move on anyway so let's choose the best state of mind. We don't know what the future holds for us, but I think we do play an important role in it once healed. You are so right dumPI!! i was thinking exactly the same...if i read a recon story i feel good, i am not deluded to think "yea that will happen to me" i think , "ok, well it might just happen to me" nothing is impossible.... If the positivity i took from these threads gets me to sleep at night, gets me up in the morning, helps me to get through my day, then they are worth their weight in gold no? loulou x Link to comment
loulou37 Posted February 1, 2012 Author Share Posted February 1, 2012 As alot of you may know, since my break up i have been following Buddism..... Here is a verse from the Dhamma, if you really take on board what the words say..they will bring you a lot of comfort: Let go of that which is front, let go of that which has passed, and let go of in-between, With a heart that takes hold nowhere, you will arrive at a place beyond all suffering. loulou x Link to comment
Popoloids Posted February 1, 2012 Share Posted February 1, 2012 Having hopes for reconciliation doesn't mean that we're not healing and we're not moving on. It makes me feel better reading positive threads or about successful reconciliations. It makes me sleep better too. But it's just me, my own way of healing and moving on. Probably for me that's the best way for me to heal and move on. FYI, I'm still doing NC too. And I'm working on myself improvement at the same time. I can say that I'm healing and moving on while at the same time having hopes for recon. I admit I still misses her once in a while. But it's better now coz everytime that I think of her now, I'm not hurting anymore and the pain is gone... BTW, Do you believe in gut feelings guys? Cause that's what I feel. I'm having a gut feeling that she's coming back. Link to comment
skippy10 Posted February 1, 2012 Share Posted February 1, 2012 Having hopes for reconciliation doesn't mean that we're not healing and we're not moving on. It makes me feel better reading positive threads or about successful reconciliations. It makes me sleep better too. But it's just me, my own way of healing and moving on. Probably for me that's the best way for me to heal and move on. FYI, I'm still doing NC too. And I'm working on myself improvement at the same time. I can say that I'm healing and moving on while at the same time having hopes for recon. I admit I still misses her once in a while. But it's better now coz everytime that I think of her now, I'm not hurting anymore and the pain is gone... BTW, Do you believe in gut feelings guys? Cause that's what I feel. I'm having a gut feeling that she's coming back. Pop: I hope your gut is right on track. I've been apart from my love for slightly more than 1,000 days but something deep within tells me we will be together again!! Although some days it hurts like hell I'd rather stay positive and true to my beliefs and hopes than do it any other way. Masochistic? Probably, but it's what I choose. Link to comment
Popoloids Posted February 1, 2012 Share Posted February 1, 2012 Having gut feelings is the same as having false hope? what do you think? Hope is hope There's no such thing as false hope right?? Link to comment
skippy10 Posted February 1, 2012 Share Posted February 1, 2012 I think you're right, at least in this reference, it is "hope". If what you are hoping for is true to you there is no false hope. Knowing that what we desire may never happen is "ok", I would rather stay positive than believe it may naver happen. It will turn out for the best, somehow/someway. keep the faith Pop!! Link to comment
Popoloids Posted February 1, 2012 Share Posted February 1, 2012 I think you're right, at least in this reference, it is "hope". If what you are hoping for is true to you there is no false hope. Knowing that what we desire may never happen is "ok", I would rather stay positive than believe it may naver happen. It will turn out for the best, somehow/someway. keep the faith Pop!! Yes! Keep the faith! Life goes on. Stay Positive! Never expect and Never assume! Life is full of surprises! Everything is possible if you're alive!!! Link to comment
pippy longstocking Posted February 1, 2012 Share Posted February 1, 2012 Having gut feelings is the same as having false hope? what do you think? Hope is hope There's no such thing as false hope right?? I am having a personnel struggle with this one actually ...I am very very intuitive , and my gut feelings these past months have proved right ...but , then I got to thinking , I believe in the power of the universe and I believe you get back the energy you put out ...which lead me to wondering had all this been part of a self full fulling prophesy ... the content of my split is not anything I "wished " for if you see what I mean ..but the time that followed ..did my intuition tell me , or was I so scared of losing him I only put the energy out there ... so them my intuition became more questionable , because I also asked myself was I in denial for thinking that this wasn't over , and not letting myself accept it ... as you see I have been doing a lot of soul searching about my reactions to things and my own behaviour . you are supposed to only think about that you desire , not what you fear ..I spent months fearing what did happen . anyway ...so in answer to your question yes I believe in gut instinct ..I ma just confused about mine . my gut feeling for the past few weeks ..is nothing ..its as though it is at a period of rest , I don't think I will never see him again , but there i s this silence , this no mans land feeling inside of me . I know what I mean ...haha loulou like the Buddhism thing you wrote. fair play to you if you can work out what the hell I am talking about. Link to comment
jolbell69 Posted February 1, 2012 Share Posted February 1, 2012 This thread is so inspiring!! I wanted to let you all know that you are helping me through a really tough day. I have the mother of all migraines and feel so ill and lonely, but this thread has made me smile a little. Pop - I believe in gut feelings too, and I also believe there is no such thing as 'false hope' - none of us are hoping for the impossible, so our hope is real... Link to comment
g1llybabes Posted February 1, 2012 Share Posted February 1, 2012 Just an update from me, i didnt send the thank you text. I understood what you were all saying about that. During our conversation he asked what I would be doing later. I am a singer and do musical theater, so I had rehearsal but I have been asked to sing at my nieces funeral so told him I was trying to find the right song. He text me at 7.30 with a song suggestion his text was " Fields of Gold Eva Cassidy" then two minutes later a text " xxxxxxxxx" I didnt reply straight away, but I just replied with something funny that happened at rehearsal and a thank you for his song suggestion. He has just replied back with " your welcome angel you wanna chat in a bit later?xxx" this seems positive to me but Im still being aware. What do you think? I also agree there is no such thing as false hope. We talked last night like we always did when things were good, chatting over stuff in the day. about 40 mins it was good. I left the conversation first as he always used to say I could talk too much and he could never get off the phone with me. I have not heard anything yet today but I hope we can chat again. I hope this was just a fight and he felt he needed to end it for me to see things perhaps. hence the we will see when earlier in the day we spoke about us. I need to be strong and wait for him. I hurt him and I need to show him how I can stop living in the past. I see this as a positive that he wanted to talk to me twice in a day. Do you guys see this a positive too? Link to comment
g1llybabes Posted February 1, 2012 Share Posted February 1, 2012 I too did the same things- I was so scared because of my past that I would loose him that all I did was push him away. I was so focused on what had gone wrong in my marriage and the mistakes he had made I never saw my own mistakes. He forgave me for many but I could not move on and kept living in the past. I hope I have the chance to show him that I understand now that living in the past gives you no future. Link to comment
pippy longstocking Posted February 1, 2012 Share Posted February 1, 2012 yes I see it as a positive , especially as you letting him come to you and not harassing about getting back to together ..slowly and naturally is the way forward . Link to comment
g1llybabes Posted February 1, 2012 Share Posted February 1, 2012 yes I see it as a positive , especially as you letting him come to you and not harassing about getting back to together ..slowly and naturally is the way forward . Thanks shooting star- its so hard not to just text with a hey how was your day. But I can do it- too much contact was another one of my issues- to me if he was in contact then he loved me and was showing it but to him it was crowding his space even if we are LD. I understand now he loved me and I was pushing him further and further away. You dont have to be in constant contact to love someone Link to comment
dumPI Posted February 1, 2012 Share Posted February 1, 2012 Having gut feelings is the same as having false hope? what do you think? Hope is hope There's no such thing as false hope right?? I don't. I think it's a projection of our state of mind. If you are in a good state of mind and feel good, you'll start thinking positive and your gut feeling will be: "She'll come back". On the other hand if you had a bad day at work, read something negative and let it have effect on you, your gut feeling will be telling you "She is not coming back. I've lost her forever". To me there isn't any really way to know if she will come back or not. My "gut feeling" is telling me different things at different days. Link to comment
skippy10 Posted February 1, 2012 Share Posted February 1, 2012 I don't. I think it's a projection of our state of mind. If you are in a good state of mind and feel good, you'll start thinking positive and your gut feeling will be: "She'll come back". On the other hand if you had a bad day at work, read something negative and let it have effect on you, your gut feeling will be telling you "She is not coming back. I've lost her forever". To me there isn't any really way to know if she will come back or not. My "gut feeling" is telling me different things at different days. Allow us to find contentment in our positive state of mind!! Link to comment
dumPI Posted February 1, 2012 Share Posted February 1, 2012 Allow us to find contentment in our positive state of mind!! Sorry! If that gut feeling makes you feel positive. Let it be! I was just speaking of the fact of it existing or not. Link to comment
g1llybabes Posted February 1, 2012 Share Posted February 1, 2012 yes I see it as a positive , especially as you letting him come to you and not harassing about getting back to together ..slowly and naturally is the way forward . So he has just text me with me " hows today been? Upto anything exciting?" I get another text too and one with a question that needs a reply- inside I am so wanting him to tell me we are back together so I can relax a bit and start moving forward with us as well as me. But for now the communication is def positive yes? How long before I reply. This is so hard when your on egg shells Link to comment
dumPI Posted February 1, 2012 Share Posted February 1, 2012 g1llybabes why don't create your own thread in the forum? You'll get more attention and more answers as events develop. Link to comment
g1llybabes Posted February 1, 2012 Share Posted February 1, 2012 g1llybabes why don't create your own thread in the forum? You'll get more attention and more answers as events develop. Ooo ok, sorry i have never really been on a forum before- can i link to old posts here- what do you suggest Link to comment
loulou37 Posted February 1, 2012 Author Share Posted February 1, 2012 I don't. I think it's a projection of our state of mind. If you are in a good state of mind and feel good, you'll start thinking positive and your gut feeling will be: "She'll come back". On the other hand if you had a bad day at work, read something negative and let it have effect on you, your gut feeling will be telling you "She is not coming back. I've lost her forever". To me there isn't any really way to know if she will come back or not. My "gut feeling" is telling me different things at different days. Agreed, my gut feeling comes and goes with my mood..and at the end of the day it doesn't matter how you feel...bad or good, crying or laughing, that will not define whether they come back or not...i used to think if i didn't hurt and think about him that it meant i was getting over him, i didn't want that!! so then i would panic and make the bad feeling come back, cos as long as my heart was breaking i still had him with me...crazy huh? loulou x Link to comment
pippy longstocking Posted February 1, 2012 Share Posted February 1, 2012 oh loulou what coincidence you saying that ... I had been thinking long the lines of exactly that and set out to find a thread that someone wrote about that self same thing ..but I have no idea where it is . It was something to do with not feeling happy incase your forgetting them or losing them or something ..ewww I wish I cold remember, it was very inspiring for me Link to comment
loulou37 Posted February 1, 2012 Author Share Posted February 1, 2012 oh loulou what coincidence you saying that ... I had been thinking long the lines of exactly that and set out to find a thread that someone wrote about that self same thing ..but I have no idea where it is . It was something to do with not feeling happy incase your forgetting them or losing them or something ..ewww I wish I cold remember, it was very inspiring for me Well i've had a really good day today..and i had to let myself be happy without paniking, cos i know now that it makes no difference if i'm happy or sad, the outcome will still be the same. loulou x Link to comment
pippy longstocking Posted February 1, 2012 Share Posted February 1, 2012 oh I am really glad you have had a good day ..cheers me up to know that ...and glad you sorted the docs out as well. Link to comment
loulou37 Posted February 1, 2012 Author Share Posted February 1, 2012 oh I am really glad you have had a good day ..cheers me up to know that ...and glad you sorted the docs out as well. Thanks shooting star, who knows how i will be tomorrow but for today this moment i feel good, the last 2 weeks were the worst, the relief i feel right now is unbelievable..so calm inside, i have thought about him today, as i always do, but yea it's been a lot better...how are you feeling today hunny? loulou x Link to comment
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