Can't do this. Feel like I just want to die.

[Milsch]

I don't know why I'm not feeling any better. I haven't seen her for about six weeks and been in total NC for about a month (I sent her a text which she ignored). This just isn't getting any easier. All of last night I dreamed about her endlessly. I think it's so bad because I know I screwed it up - I didn't give her the commitment she wanted/needed and made her feel insecure. Now she is in a relationship with a new guy and refuses even to speak with me. I love her so, so much. I hang out with friends, even go on dates, focus on work, etc... but it all seems so meaningless. Nobody comes close to her. And she's now with this other guy... I don't know what to do. I want her back more than anything else, but all the time I keep thinking she'll probably end up staying with this new guy for years and years. I can't heal, no matter what I try. This is all my fault and it's causing me so much pain. Please help me...

[ewr]

One month of NC isn't a lot of time when it comes to healing...I know that's daunting to hear, but it always, always gets better with time. Some people take longer than others, and you have to remember that you can only truly heal when you let yourself. If you find yourself constantly telling yourself you will not get better, maybe you should try some thought control or thought stopping techniques. If you can't just accept that it is indefinitely over, telling yourself she will be with someone for years and years is better than having false hope like a lot of people do, which prevents healing even more. It's good that your doing everything right as in being with friends and dating, and work in this economy is luck in itself. To find meaning in life without her will take some soul searching, but you had a life before her and that meant something to you, so it shouldn't mean any less to you now. Keep your head up, and never think about doing anything stupid like dying. You CAN do this. you ARE doing this. You are on here posting for help, you didn't quit your job, your making an effort. That is better than others here, including me, who at times just crawl into a hole for a few weeks or months, so give yourself some credit. I too get into these "I can't do this" moods, but a quick call to a friend or one of parents, and a little reading on ENA, usually takes me to better places. Keep your head up Milsch.

"

[Snowy]

Your ego has been absolutely crushed into a billion and one pieces.

 

The pain does not come from the fact that she's gone, but from the fact that your ego got crapped on.

 

Now, rather than getting back with her and probably getting burned again, you should heal up your wounds.

 

It's hard, it's painful, it takes patience and a clear head.

 

What you want is to heal and feel indifferent about her rather than pining over her 24/7.

 

Now, these things will help you heal big time:

- TIME. There is not a better healing agent out there.

- SOCIALIZE. Meet new people, make new friends, go out, party.

- INSPIRATION. Find something that inspires you and do it. i.e. Get a shredded body.

- SOMETHING LIKE A BONFIRE. Chuck everything that reminds you of her into that. (just kidding)

 

Good luck brah.

[winniethepooh]

I don't know why I'm not feeling any better. I haven't seen her for about six weeks and been in total NC for about a month (I sent her a text which she ignored). This just isn't getting any easier.

It is, you're just not aware of it yet because it's happening slowly, ever so slowly. All you can do is try and focus on doing the right things - leave her alone, find things to do that make you happy (or at least not unhappy), even if it's just reading stuff on here. And exercise.

 

All of last night I dreamed about her endlessly.

Yeah, that happens. Avoid alcohol, go to bed tired - go for a run or a walk in the evening.

 

I think it's so bad because I know I screwed it up - I didn't give her the commitment she wanted/needed and made her feel insecure.

After reading some of your previous threads, yes, I understand. But maybe there was a good reason for that, you just don't know it yet. Or maybe there wasn't. I don't think it will become clear to you until after the pain has gone. So do your best to get there as soon as you can. Keep moving forward, no matter how slowly. Don't do anything that will set you back (like trying to contact her, trying to find out information about her).

 

Now she is in a relationship with a new guy and refuses even to speak with me.

Then really, there is nothing you can do to get her back, except nothing, and try to let go of any hope that she will.

 

I love her so, so much. I hang out with friends, even go on dates, focus on work, etc... but it all seems so meaningless.

Yes, but gradually meaningfulness will come back to you.

 

but all the time I keep thinking she'll probably end up staying with this new guy for years and years.

She might, she might not. It's really out of your hands now. I mean seriously, if you do interfere, and as a result she comes back to you, there's so much imbalance and distortion right from the start that it's almost certain things will fall apart again one way or another.

 

I can't heal, no matter what I try. This is all my fault and it's causing me so much pain. Please help me...

You will heal, it just doesn't feel like that because it's a process, not a switch. Yes, those guilt feelings are crippling. Really, you can't do anything about them except try to accept the situation, and do your best to learn from it.

 

I read How To Win Your Lover Back, by Blase Harris. He advocates meeting your ex, even when (s)he is with someone else, and slowly demonstrating your love as a way to win the other person back.

 

Does that even sound plausible in this situation? I am hurting so much, but I am willing to take it if there is any light at the end of the tunnel.

That sounds like a form of manipulation or game playing to me, and I don't like that. Anyway, I think the only chance of something like that working is if everyone is playing the same game, and even then, the very definition of a game is that there are winners and losers. Bad idea IMHO.

 

For whatever reason, she has ended up with someone else, and more importantly, she is ignoring your attempts at communication (from what I've understood in your other posts). That is a clear signal that she wants you to leave her alone. By contacting her in any way whatsoever, I think you will only make things worse. You will drive her further into her current relationship (rebound or whatever you want to call it), and you will delay your own healing and increase your pain.

 

I loved this girl so much, but I never told her how I felt. We were together for a year and I got into this pattern of non-communication and pretending things were casual. I lied to myself about how much I loved her (and I certainly never told her). She said she loved me at the start, but that she gave up because I kept telling her it wasn't anything serious. So she emotionally detached herself and is now seeing another guy (and has cut all contact with me to protect her new, serious, relationship).

 

I can't understand how I could have deluded myself and caused myself this immense pain.

I think it's important for you to figure this out. You will find it difficult or impossible while you're focused on trying to get her back, and in pain. But maybe there was actually a good reason why you didn't tell her you loved her. We all (or many of us) have had relationships which were painful to lose, but in retrospect (often months or even years later), it's become clear that it was a good thing for it to have ended.

[Milsch]

It is, you're just not aware of it yet because it's happening slowly, ever so slowly. All you can do is try and focus on doing the right things - leave her alone, find things to do that make you happy (or at least not unhappy), even if it's just reading stuff on here. And exercise.

 

 

 

Yeah, that happens. Avoid alcohol, go to bed tired - go for a run or a walk in the evening.

 

Firstly, thanks for your reply!

 

The question I ask myself is how can I be healing if I don't feel better? I am trying to focus on doing the right things, but I keep coming back to the realisation that I didn't give her any choice but to break up with me. Sure, she could have handled it better and tried to communicate with me, but she did what she felt was best and just moved on instead. I can't even really blame her for that. So this whole idea of healing seems a thousand times harder because it's not just getting over her, it's getting over the fact that it's actually my fault that I have to get over her.

 

 

After reading some of your previous threads, yes, I understand. But maybe there was a good reason for that, you just don't know it yet. Or maybe there wasn't. I don't think it will become clear to you until after the pain has gone. So do your best to get there as soon as you can. Keep moving forward, no matter how slowly. Don't do anything that will set you back (like trying to contact her, trying to find out information about her).

 

I don't think there was a good reason. We just got into this cycle and I didn't see it until it was too late.

 

 

Then really, there is nothing you can do to get her back, except nothing, and try to let go of any hope that she will.

 

I don't think she will just 'come back'. It's not who she is. I would actively have to try to get her back if there was to be any chance, and clearly when she's in a relationship (with a co-worker) while I am now living about 45 minutes away, there is no hope for me. So I don't have hope, I just have thoughts about what I could do now/in the future.

 

 

Yes, but gradually meaningfulness will come back to you.

 

I hope so, I really do. But all my friendships, even the really good ones, seem empty in comparison with that bond I had with her. I miss her so badly.

 

 

 

For whatever reason, she has ended up with someone else, and more importantly, she is ignoring your attempts at communication (from what I've understood in your other posts). That is a clear signal that she wants you to leave her alone. By contacting her in any way whatsoever, I think you will only make things worse. You will drive her further into her current relationship (rebound or whatever you want to call it), and you will delay your own healing and increase your pain.

 

Yeah, that's pretty much it. The last time we saw each other, about six weeks ago, we had a great evening together, she told me how much she had enjoyed seeing me, how much she was looking forward to our next meeting in a couple of weeks, etc. Then, a few days later, she phoned me to say that her new bf had found out that she and I had met and wasn't happy about it and that she couldn't see me or speak to me any longer because it 'wasn't right'. And she ignored two texts since then.

 

In my desperate way of thinking, I believe she actually does want to see me / talk to me / have me in her life, but is respecting her new bf's wishes. Either way, I guess it amounts to pretty much the same thing. She told me - shortly after the BU - that when she's apart from me the r'ship doesn't 'feel right', but that when we're together she wants to be with me. So I am pretty sure that all this NC is actually making her get fully over me (I guess she was about 80% over when she ended it), whereas I am sitting here pining for her.

 

 

I think it's important for you to figure this out. You will find it difficult or impossible while you're focused on trying to get her back, and in pain. But maybe there was actually a good reason why you didn't tell her you loved her. We all (or many of us) have had relationships which were painful to lose, but in retrospect (often months or even years later), it's become clear that it was a good thing for it to have ended.

 

I wish this was like that, but I don't think so. Also, I feel a lot of people re-write history a little bit in cases like this. Sure, if I meet a woman and end up getting married, etc it will be in everyone's interests (mine, my current partner's, etc) for me to look back at this BU and say something like 'phew, well I'm glad that ended!'... but that's actually pretty disingenuous I think. Right now I am terribly cut up. Whoever I meet in the future might be great too, but this girl was wonderful and I should have given her better than I did so that she could have stayed.

[Milsch]

therapy might help! it certainly helped me when my ex girlfriend stamped all over my heart.

 

Been there, done that... but you know, it doesn't help me much. Maybe short-term... but I keep getting back to square one. I've been thinking about asking the doc for anti-depressants, but I dunno if they'd help.

[KronicMan]

with time you will put this in the back of your mind somewhere. i met someone this weekend and looking forward to possibilities...just cut your losses and move on you will be fine.

[MarieCee]

You will get over it.

All you have to do is do something you love and you will forget her.

[Milsch]

with time you will put this in the back of your mind somewhere. i met someone this weekend and looking forward to possibilities...just cut your losses and move on you will be fine.

 

Yeah, but no one else compares. Seriously. Yesterday I went on a 'date' (sort of) with a girl I've known for a year. While I was with the ex, I always thought this girl was cute (and very attractive, etc). I even had the 'well... if I was single...' thoughts (but never made any move or came anywhere near thinking about cheating on the ex). But on this date I just found the girl to be... I dunno... just a bit dull in comparison. I mean, I know she's not; she's really sweet, etc... but I just don't feel the same passion, chemistry or attraction. I've been ill today and - very bored - I thought of every single woman I've ever met or known and there is not one who even comes close to the ex. I honestly believe I will never meet anyone like her again.

[KronicMan]

Yeah, but no one else compares. Seriously. Yesterday I went on a 'date' (sort of) with a girl I've known for a year. While I was with the ex, I always thought this girl was cute (and very attractive, etc). I even had the 'well... if I was single...' thoughts (but never made any move or came anywhere near thinking about cheating on the ex). But on this date I just found the girl to be... I dunno... just a bit dull in comparison. I mean, I know she's not; she's really sweet, etc... but I just don't feel the same passion, chemistry or attraction. I've been ill today and - very bored - I thought of every single woman I've ever met or known and there is not one who even comes close to the ex. I honestly believe I will never meet anyone like her again.

 

all of this is normal. you cant force yourself to like or be interested in someone. these bad dates are good because now you know what you do want. you probably will never meet anyone like her again because everyone is different. just relax and let it play out

[Milsch]

Yeah, but all they show me I do want it to have my ex back. I can't believe how casually I approached the whole thing. I was so into her, but I acted like she was just an optional extra in my life... nice to hang out with, but nothing serious. And then she got over me, because she had to.

 

I feel like I need to speak to her to get closure. Ask her: would it really have made a difference if I had acted better? Or would you have gone with this new guy anyway? Things like that. But it's pointless, I know.

[Liraele]

Yeah, but no one else compares. Seriously. Yesterday I went on a 'date' (sort of) with a girl I've known for a year. While I was with the ex, I always thought this girl was cute (and very attractive, etc). I even had the 'well... if I was single...' thoughts (but never made any move or came anywhere near thinking about cheating on the ex). But on this date I just found the girl to be... I dunno... just a bit dull in comparison. I mean, I know she's not; she's really sweet, etc... but I just don't feel the same passion, chemistry or attraction. I've been ill today and - very bored - I thought of every single woman I've ever met or known and there is not one who even comes close to the ex. I honestly believe I will never meet anyone like her again.

 

Then you are probably just not ready to date. Which is perfectly ok! That you are still thinking that no one compares to your ex means that no one really stands a chance of showing you that they do, or that maybe they are actually even "better" than your ex. Better isn't the right word. Good, great, in different ways that you hadn't previously considered.

 

Time is the great equalizer, cliche as the saying may be. In time, the sharp edges of memory grow a little more dull, and the searing ache and pain fades to one that may still be present but less noticeable. The perfect memory of your ex and how great they were grows a little tarnish so that something newer and shinier can come into the picture. It just takes time.

[Milsch]

Then you are probably just not ready to date. Which is perfectly ok! That you are still thinking that no one compares to your ex means that no one really stands a chance of showing you that they do, or that maybe they are actually even "better" than your ex. Better isn't the right word. Good, great, in different ways that you hadn't previously considered.

 

Time is the great equalizer, cliche as the saying may be. In time, the sharp edges of memory grow a little more dull, and the searing ache and pain fades to one that may still be present but less noticeable. The perfect memory of your ex and how great they were grows a little tarnish so that something newer and shinier can come into the picture. It just takes time.

 

What you say makes sense, but I do know in my heart that I won't find someone 'better' (or whatever) than her. She was perfect for me and we were so compatible. And the sad fact is, it's not inevitable that I'll find someone who will make me just as happy. I mean, sure, it might happen... but I can't quite believe it when people say that it always happens. I might meet someone I am happy with, but I don't think it's guaranteed that I'll meet someone I feel this strongly for.

[Liraele]

What you say makes sense, but I do know in my heart that I won't find someone 'better' (or whatever) than her. She was perfect for me and we were so compatible. And the sad fact is, it's not inevitable that I'll find someone who will make me just as happy. I mean, sure, it might happen... but I can't quite believe it when people say that it always happens. I might meet someone I am happy with, but I don't think it's guaranteed that I'll meet someone I feel this strongly for.

 

The thing is this: people are different, unique.

 

So, now you're thinking that no one compares to your ex. That may be true.

 

However - there are hundreds of different ways to be happy. Future relationships will not be the same as this one, but it does not mean that they can not also make you happy, if given the chance. The key here is giving them that chance.

[Eocsor]

What you say makes sense, but I do know in my heart that I won't find someone 'better' (or whatever) than her. She was perfect for me and we were so compatible. And the sad fact is, it's not inevitable that I'll find someone who will make me just as happy. I mean, sure, it might happen... but I can't quite believe it when people say that it always happens. I might meet someone I am happy with, but I don't think it's guaranteed that I'll meet someone I feel this strongly for.

 

If you were so compatible and perfect it wouldn't have ended. And if you want to keep the attitude that you WON'T find anyone else as good, well gurss what, you won't.

 

Only you are responsible for your own happiness, no one else. If you want to wallow in self pity, that is your choice. The alternative is to face the fact it's over, make a real effort to heal yourself, and then go out and put the work in to find someone you really ARE compatible with.

 

But thats hard work. Much easier to feel sorry for yourself.

[camus154]

What you say makes sense, but I do know in my heart that I won't find someone 'better' (or whatever) than her. She was perfect for me and we were so compatible.

 

No, you don't. Your heart is messing with you. You just feel like this right now because you're hurting.

 

Ever notice how we don't talk about lovers being "perfect" until we've lost them (especially when someone else gets with them)? Ever notice how each successive girlfriend is more "perfect" than the last, but only when we've lost them too?

 

Perfect is an illusion.

 

And the sad fact is, it's not inevitable that I'll find someone who will make me just as happy. I mean, sure, it might happen... but I can't quite believe it when people say that it always happens. I might meet someone I am happy with, but I don't think it's guaranteed that I'll meet someone I feel this strongly for.

 

You're absolutely right. There is absolutely zero guarantee you'll meet someone "perfect" for you. But there never are guarantees when it comes to life or love. Even if the two of you had stayed together.

 

Hang in there...the more time you give yourself to heal, the less perfect your ex will become.

[Milsch]

If you were so compatible and perfect it wouldn't have ended. And if you want to keep the attitude that you WON'T find anyone else as good, well gurss what, you won't.

 

Only you are responsible for your own happiness, no one else. If you want to wallow in self pity, that is your choice. The alternative is to face the fact it's over, make a real effort to heal yourself, and then go out and put the work in to find someone you really ARE compatible with.

 

But thats hard work. Much easier to feel sorry for yourself.

That's it though, we were that good. It ended because I screwed up. If I had just had a bit more clarity and stopped playing games and told her how much she meant to me...

[loulou37]

So why can't you go tell her how you feel?

 

How long had you two been slpit up before she got with the new guy?

 

loulou x

[Milsch]

So why can't you go tell her how you feel?

 

How long had you two been slpit up before she got with the new guy?

 

loulou x

I told her, but she'd done the whole 'checking out' thing beforehand. A few months before. New guy was... a month after BU, but the little ****er was on the sidelines hitting on her for months.

 

I don't think anything I say now will make a difference, much as I'd like to think it could. She works with this guy too, so BU with him would be really rocking the boat (she's also met his parents, etc... sounds v serious).

[Liraele]

Have you stopped to think that maybe if you WERE perfect for each other, you would have done things "right" by her the first time?

 

If you knew what needed to be done during the relationship - what she was lacking, what she needed that you weren't providing, why didn't you do it?

 

It's really easy to look back and say, "Oh, if I had done x, y, z I would have kept so and so." Looking back, things are usually 20/20 - there is a reason that is a saying.

 

The truth of the matter is, had you been "perfect" for each other, you wouldn't be here now. Maybe she was perfect for you, and you weren't ready for it. Or maybe she was "perfect" for you, but you weren't "perfect" for her. (I always cringe when people say they were perfect together/for each other. No relationship is perfect.)

 

You can always tell her how you feel - there is that option. Quite frankly, however, if she doesn't want to be with you, nothing you can say or do is going to change that. It doesn't matter how perfect you think you are for each other - you can't make someone feel the way you do. She's moved on, as you've said.

[Milsch]

I agree - 'perfect' is a stupid word in the context of pretty much any relationship. Put it this way then: she is the kind of person who I could see myself with in twenty years time doing mundane, family-related stuff like driving the kids to school and actually being totally happy doing it because I was doing it with her. I loved talking to her; she made me laugh all the time with her dry sense of humour. She also helped me out when I was making work-related decisions. She is also so damn hot.

 

Our relationship screwed up because I told her it was only ever going to be a casual thing. Meanwhile, I fell in love with her but didn't ever express that properly. I thought she would know through my actions, but I also messed up a few times (basically, my ex-ex was in the picture, purely in a platonic sense... but she was going through a very, very rough time and I felt a responsibility to help her out).

 

When she broke up with me, she told me she was still attracted to me and loved being with me (and the last time we saw each other we had an amazing evening, laughing, flirting, etc). But she said it 'didn't feel right' being with me anymore and that she had got over the relationship in her own mind because she thought I was going to end it / wasn't taking it seriously. Of course I wish she had actually spoken to me about all of this, but she didn't - and I can understand why. And then this guy from her work had been hitting on her for months and months, so it was a good escape route. I expect she told him all about how I was acting with her and he is now giving her the full works in terms of commitment, etc. Maybe it's to get in her pants, but I expect it's for real - she's an incredible girl.

[Milsch]

Ahh, I've written her an email asking to meet for coffee. Not sent it yet, but my fingers are itching. Is it a terrible idea? I don't know what I can get from it to be honest... but I feel like I want to see her. She probably won't reply - maybe that'll help me get over her... I dunno. Why won't this get easier?

[winniethepooh]

Ahhhh, don't do that!

 

Why on earth would you?

 

Although you are correct, if you do and she doesn't reply (or even if she does), eventually it will help you get over her. Because eventually the pain will make you see that sending emails like this are a bad idea for you right now. Are you ready for more pain right now? That's what will happen if you send it

[Milsch]

I just don't feel like it's totally over between us. I dunno... that sounds stupid I'm sure given that she's with someone new, but there is this chemistry there (hate that word) and real attraction still. She told me she made herself stop caring because she thought I was gonna break up. And when she said she couldn't see me, she said it was because the new bf found out we'd met and he was angry. She's a relationship jumper, I know that, and I want her to come back. She can't/won't if I'm totally out of her life. Does that make any sense?

[winniethepooh]

Firstly, thanks for your reply!

You're welcome

 

The question I ask myself is how can I be healing if I don't feel better?

The healing is slow. Just like a broken leg, day by day it doesn't feel like it's healing but it is.

 

However you can do things to slow down, speed up, stop healing, or make it worse. Just like banging your broken leg with a hammer is not a good idea, trying to contact your ex, and meeting her, are bad ideas for your broken heart.

 

 

I am trying to focus on doing the right things, but I keep coming back to the realisation that I didn't give her any choice but to break up with me. Sure, she could have handled it better and tried to communicate with me, but she did what she felt was best and just moved on instead. I can't even really blame her for that. So this whole idea of healing seems a thousand times harder because it's not just getting over her, it's getting over the fact that it's actually my fault that I have to get over her.

Yes, it is, and all you can do now is learn from it. I know that sounds a bit flippant, but it is true.

 

And in time, you might have a different perspective - as you say, she could have handled it better also. But don't dwell on it. Save all your energy to fight the urge to contact her.

 

I don't think she will just 'come back'. It's not who she is. I would actively have to try to get her back if there was to be any chance, and clearly when she's in a relationship (with a co-worker) while I am now living about 45 minutes away, there is no hope for me. So I don't have hope, I just have thoughts about what I could do now/in the future.

You can't do anything now, as you know. And I understand about thinking about what ifs, and by all means let your thoughts go on that occasionally, it's hard to fight them off sometimes. But try and do that while doing something else productive. Go for a run at the same time or something. And try to remember that the future will look different when you get there, and you don't know how at the moment.

 

I hope so, I really do. But all my friendships, even the really good ones, seem empty in comparison with that bond I had with her. I miss her so badly.

That will change in time, if you at least let it. And faster if you work towards it.

 

Yeah, that's pretty much it. The last time we saw each other, about six weeks ago, we had a great evening together, she told me how much she had enjoyed seeing me, how much she was looking forward to our next meeting in a couple of weeks, etc. Then, a few days later, she phoned me to say that her new bf had found out that she and I had met and wasn't happy about it and that she couldn't see me or speak to me any longer because it 'wasn't right'. And she ignored two texts since then.

Well, it was a bad idea to see her in the first place, you're just making it easier for her and harder for you.

 

And now, if you interfere in her current relationship, it only makes things worse for you, no matter how that works out. If she leaves him for you because of your interference, then she might always wonder what if she hadn't. And you will always wonder what if she leaves you for someone else again. Leave her (and him) alone.

 

In my desperate way of thinking, I believe she actually does want to see me / talk to me / have me in her life, but is respecting her new bf's wishes.

That may be the case, but the reasons for her desire to see you are not good ones. Especially for you.

 

She told me - shortly after the BU - that when she's apart from me the r'ship doesn't 'feel right', but that when we're together she wants to be with me.

So she's confused, and sorting out her confusion alone. You have to respect that by leaving her alone.

 

So I am pretty sure that all this NC is actually making her get fully over me (I guess she was about 80% over when she ended it), whereas I am sitting here pining for her.

No, it's not. It will force her to face the loss of you properly. The outcome of that is unknown, but she has to face that at some point. And yes, you are pining for her, and will continue to pine for her for a while. Contacting her will just delay that period of pain that you have to go through. I'm sorry

 

I wish this was like that, but I don't think so.

Ah, but that's exactly my point. You don't think so now. You might not think so in the future, or you might. But what you are thinking now is heavily distorted by your emotional turmoil, and you need to get past that as soon as possible so you can see clearly.

 

Also, I feel a lot of people re-write history a little bit in cases like this.

Sure, that's possible. But doesn't matter for you at the moment. Focus on getting past the pain and losing the desire to contact her.

 

Sure, if I meet a woman and end up getting married, etc it will be in everyone's interests (mine, my current partner's, etc) for me to look back at this BU and say something like 'phew, well I'm glad that ended!'... but that's actually pretty disingenuous I think.

Right now it doesn't matter. Unless you meet someone else, but then you're in even bigger trouble.

 

Right now I am terribly cut up. Whoever I meet in the future might be great too, but this girl was wonderful and I should have given her better than I did so that she could have stayed.

Yes, right now you are terribly cut up. Fix that first. Alone. And then you might be in a better position to treat a great girl in the future better That might be your ex, that might be someone else. But if you're not better, then you'll end up in the same place again as you are now.

 

Keep going forwards