Bigchief Posted November 1, 2011 Share Posted November 1, 2011 I have just looked back through my posts started by me since I joined in July 2010 and you know what, I am in the exact same situation only with a few more grey hairs and wrinkles.I love her and when we are together but this relationship has just caused me misery for the last year so I hope I have a solutions and that is moving in will help us. Not to bore you with my old posts here is a summary. She is 26 I am 33 btw Fell in love 2007 and had the happiest time of my life until 2010 Broke up July 2010 this left me heartbroken We got back Oct 2010 but I never really got back to the same level of trust Since December 2010 we have had a turbulent relationship We have never lived together We had rows a lot recently because I was angry at her for breaking my heart and didn’t want to open up again fully for fear of being smashed again Also the relationship isn’t the same now and I resent that, I miss the old romantic relationship we once had that we were both head over heels in love (for the first time both of us) I think she isn’t really feeling the relationship anymore and this is what makes me frustrated as she has been slowly breaking my heart my for the last few months, why do I think this? The sex is crap and infrequent, if I suggest a romantic getaway she would say no some friend “might” be back that w/e. I was away for a week one time and when I came back the reaction was as if she didn’t even miss me, oh and she broke up with me last July (I suppose that is the main one) So she blames me for the relationship being the way it is because “I cause fights and am angry sometimes”. I blame her because she’s a crap girlfriend (who I love and think is stunningly beautiful)who doesn’t appreciate me. Now if I was me a few years ago I would have said to myself now Dude, get rid of her and move on. But it’s so hard to do, I am miserable without her, sometimes she is miserable without me etc. She says we are best friends etc-which I don’t take as a compliment btw! She had difficulties getting a job and has gone back to law school (which they seem to have a party once a week) We broke up a few weeks ago (and we are back again) and I said fine on the break there was no holds barred and we didn’t have to be faithful etc. She kissed (just kissed) someone in her class which didn’t go down to well with me. We met up last night and had a lovely passionate evening just cuddled up together and had great sex! So I think the solution to our problems is to move in together, this would involve signing a 12 month lease (which I would pay for) I don’t care I think it’s worth it. When broke up a few weeks ago I posted that I was actually relieved but after a day or two I missed her so much it was killing me! Am I crazy, I really feel like I am on the edge of a breakdown here I can’t sleep I am acting erratically to name a few things. I would love to just get away but my job is seriously demanding 7 days a week, travel etc the two things are really taking their toll on me and I am having really negative thoughts- this making everything worse. I will be OK but has anyone been in this situation will moving in solve everything- or am I being a fool and going to burn myself even worse. My parents are very worried about me my friends are worried about me I am trying to keep it together but I am really falling apart. The only thing that makes me happy is her and if I lost her it would be so painful. Also my desperation is making me a lot less attractive than my usual confident self! So my plan is we move in together and hopefully everything will work out- does anyone have any experience of this being the case or am I beyond naive? She seems to be up for the idea BTW. BTW tried NC couldn’t do it (neither of us) Thansk so much for any advice in advance. Link to comment
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