lilybud Posted September 1, 2004 Share Posted September 1, 2004 I have been going out with my boyfriend for many years and I cheated on him. He knew about my relationship with this other guy but he forgave me and wanted to move on with me. I know he loves me a lot and we are thinking of getting married. However, I had an abortion with this other guy. Should I come clean and let my boyfriend know ? I know that I will lose him forever if I told him the truth. Link to comment
Nifty_Swifty1 Posted September 1, 2004 Share Posted September 1, 2004 It seem to be a role of life that anything you hide will come out at the most inopportune time. It's my opinion that in a truly successful relationship there are no secrets. I say you should tell him. You should have told him when it happened. Link to comment
avman Posted September 1, 2004 Share Posted September 1, 2004 Oh boy. This is a really tough one. In most cases I'd tell you to come clean with this. But he already knows you cheated. He forgave you. You both want to move on. I don't see what point would be served by digging it up again and hurting him even more. I wouldn't tell him. Link to comment
lunatic Posted September 1, 2004 Share Posted September 1, 2004 No way if he was able to forgive the cheating then leave it at that. I mean if you tell him all it will do is remind him of how hurt he was when you strayed. Then to rehash the whole thing with a new tid-bit of information that he did not know about. DONT DO IT!!!!! MOVE ON!!!! Good luck, Hubman Link to comment
JT Posted September 1, 2004 Share Posted September 1, 2004 Tell him or it will eat you alive. Link to comment
kauaiangirl83 Posted September 1, 2004 Share Posted September 1, 2004 You have to do what you think is best for you. If you tell him he might leave and if you don't tell him you might not be able to handle it. If you are going to tell him, the sooner the better. Hang in there! Link to comment
squarepeg Posted September 1, 2004 Share Posted September 1, 2004 Dont tell him. This is a case where your unloading your guilt to make yourself feel better, not him. If you need to unload it, write it down and tell yourself that in a few years the pain will have subsided enough for you to let him know. Link to comment
Scout Posted September 1, 2004 Share Posted September 1, 2004 If it was a one time cheating, then I would say don't tell him. But to be honest, I am feeling more sympathy for your boyfriend here then I do for you - you've cheated on him with two guys now. For his sake, maybe you should tell him so that he can be with someone who WON'T cheat. And you should do some serious self-examination to find out why you are having a problem being faithful to this guy. Do you have a history of cheating on other boyfriends, too? As you can see, it is a real deterrent to a healthy, lasting relationship based on trust. I am sure you don't want to "cheat" yourself out of having that kind of relationship, so I would suggest you figure out why you are doing this. Good luck, and keep us posted. Link to comment
lilsuthurncutie Posted September 3, 2004 Share Posted September 3, 2004 i would tell him.. eventually you will slip or else you will feel so bad something worse could come out of it, it wasn't right and he deserves to know.. Link to comment
ReadyorNot Posted September 14, 2004 Share Posted September 14, 2004 I wouldnt tell him either... You told him you cheated, and he forgave you... dont open that back up again.... deal with it yourself but dont bring him into it... I also agree that if you cant be faithful you should let him be with someone who will be faithful to him... Link to comment
atigdng Posted September 18, 2004 Share Posted September 18, 2004 If you are planning on getting married and he loves you he will completely understand if you tell him if not he WILL find out some other way so you should tell him it will be okay if he really loves you. Link to comment
freeben321 Posted September 18, 2004 Share Posted September 18, 2004 I've heard some interesting debates in my lifetime...but abortion being referred to as a tidbit...that's new. Tell him, if marriage is a possibility, he has the right to know. free No way if he was able to forgive the cheating then leave it at that. I mean if you tell him all it will do is remind him of how hurt he was when you strayed. Then to rehash the whole thing with a new tid-bit of information that he did not know about. DONT DO IT!!!!! MOVE ON!!!! Good luck, Hubman Link to comment
Cecil de Volange Posted September 21, 2004 Share Posted September 21, 2004 Do you love this man? If you do, just keep it a secret. I am just amazed you killed your own child to have the man you want. I call this situation selfish. Although it is your life, I cannot guarantee everything will stay in the closet, but if he ever founds out, just tell him the truth; however, if he never founds out, Great...you got the ending you wanted.... Link to comment
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