KronicMan Posted October 20, 2011 Share Posted October 20, 2011 ruby i know this is heart breaking but maybe this is the push you need to start successfully moving on. its hard to get rid if that hope - i mean even if he dumped her and came begging back tomorrow, would you let him come back like nothing happened? Link to comment
RubyWoo Posted October 20, 2011 Author Share Posted October 20, 2011 The thing is, I don't know 100% for sure whether he's been with someone else, or the time he needed was really to "better himself" as he said. I got another text today. "I really miss you. Sorry I keep texting you" Link to comment
Klokwurk Posted October 21, 2011 Share Posted October 21, 2011 What a selfish * * * * * * * , texting you like that. * * * * . I am upset now. That is totally not * * * * ing fair for someone who BROKE UP with YOU to tell you he misses you. You can tell him, though it's not recommended, but at least you might be a wreck or something and it is understandable. If he REALLY MISSED you he would come back and yea. You know this. I am glad my ex was a prideful biatch and never sent me texts like that. Just slept around a lot after we broke up and lied to me about it after sleeping with me. Now I can finally feel kind of free. She was always just a stupid * * * * ing party ho. Sorry for rant. Anyway. Don't give your heart back - feelings of love will tear you apart from head to toe. Link to comment
Klokwurk Posted October 21, 2011 Share Posted October 21, 2011 Sometimes... The pain, it will come roaring back. It will make you think that all this time you spent doing NC was for nothing. Call someone, immediately. Someone who really loves you. Fight it, fight it, fight it, don't let someone who left you control your happiness. Make happiness for yourself... It is so hard, but I know we can all do it. Link to comment
RubyWoo Posted October 21, 2011 Author Share Posted October 21, 2011 He sent another message at night... kinda personal implying he misses making love with me. I know you are right Klokwurk, because he isn't asking to meet up or that he made a mistake and wants me back. I'll just keep doing my own thing. I love him and miss him but I don't want to get my hopes up. Link to comment
Alison245 Posted October 21, 2011 Share Posted October 21, 2011 Keep striding forward Ruby! He is being incredibly selfish texting to tell you he misses you - especially about the 'physical'.....rang alarm bells for me that he may just want to test the water with you as to whether he could have his cake and eat it. You are doing so, so well as he has ripped your heart out and left you to bleed. I cant imagine what its like having to see him on the street - sounds like you handled it like a pro even if inside you were screaming. Sometimes I get crushed inside, knocks the breath out of me taht someone I woke up with everyday for so so long is now just someone I dont know and cannot (or at least shouldnt!) contact. x Link to comment
RubyWoo Posted October 23, 2011 Author Share Posted October 23, 2011 Thanks Alison! I'm trying to do the best I can, but it's sooo hard. Saturday night and I'm sure he's out having fun not thinking about me at all. Why do I have to go through all this pain when all I've ever been is a loving, caring person Link to comment
Haa Posted October 27, 2011 Share Posted October 27, 2011 Hi Ruby... I've not been on here in a while but wanted to see how you're doing? That's gutting about seeing him in the street. I'd have been totally floored. I see he's still sending random texts, though. Have you heard anything more from him recently? Have to say he's being totally selfish. Not only do they totally crush you when they leave, they then pop back & text you random crappy crumbs whenever they feel like it. Grrr. As for me, my ex initiated contact most days for over a month. We agreed to meet up next month. He was keen & seemed happy to meet up, happy to be in contact seeing as he was the sodding one to initiate all of it... And now, silence for the last 11 days. Ha. It'd be funny if it didn't hurt so much. Now I'm feeling utterly * * * * again. Link to comment
Joanne19852010 Posted October 27, 2011 Share Posted October 27, 2011 After reading all the posts in this thread i'm starting to notice something...my ex told me he still loved me but didn't want to be in a relationship and wanted to be single but didn't know how he would feel in a few months but a few weeks later i found out there was someone else in the picture when he left...i'm starting to think that when an ex tells you he wants a break or to split up because of these reasons that 9/10's out of ten there is someone else...and he's almost keeping us as a safety net for himself..when we first split up he was crying and saying nine years is a long time now 5 weeks later i get i don't understand why your like this we only broke up. Link to comment
RubyWoo Posted October 27, 2011 Author Share Posted October 27, 2011 I understand someone might meet someone else... but to be honest, I'd rather they said the truth! At least you could get angry, cry, curse him to death and then close that chapter of your life. I'm like 90% sure there is another girl. But that 10% keeps me thinking, "what if he really just needed some time?" I got another text today... "I hate it when it rains because I always think of you" What do I say to that? What the hell does he want from me? I haven't replied, I feel so bad because it might be an attempt at getting closer to me, but at the same time... I just don't have the energy anymore, I'm sooo beyond hurt. Link to comment
RubyWoo Posted October 29, 2011 Author Share Posted October 29, 2011 Another text today, I don't know what's going on. I was able to ignore the text yesterday but today I couldn't do it. When he mentioned Christmas, knowing this is my first holiday season without him and without my dad... So upset now. Conversation went like this: HIM: I can't believe I won't be spending Christmas with you. How did it come to this? I hope life is better for you now. ME: You know I wanted to spend Christmas with you. I never wanted any of this. HIM: Then why did you make it so hard sometimes. I hate how hard it is without you. To always remember you and those great times we had ME: I always remember those times too. I tried to be a good girlfriend. Link to comment
RubyWoo Posted October 29, 2011 Author Share Posted October 29, 2011 Can anyone offer any advice? Link to comment
Airbag Posted October 29, 2011 Share Posted October 29, 2011 Well, I'm reading through your thread every now and then and I definitely see some sort of pattern here. He keeps hinting towards you that he does miss you and he's not liking the fact that you're not giving in (which is awesome). I suggest more LC/NC, until he wants to meet you. Link to comment
RubyWoo Posted October 30, 2011 Author Share Posted October 30, 2011 There's nothing I want more than to be with him, in his arms and find the comfort I need in this time. But I won't tell him and I won't call. When he says "I miss you" I just say I miss him back, because I don't want to ask him back and I don't want to beg. I'm just letting go and whatever happens happens. Some days it's sooooo hard though. Link to comment
Airbag Posted October 30, 2011 Share Posted October 30, 2011 I know Ruby, I'm crying right now. I miss her so much and I wanna be with her again. She means everything to me and is the one that kept me going through life. Link to comment
RubyWoo Posted October 30, 2011 Author Share Posted October 30, 2011 It really sucks to be in this position. Loving someone who doesn't want to be with you Have you heard from your ex, Airbag? Link to comment
Airbag Posted October 30, 2011 Share Posted October 30, 2011 It really sucks to be in this position. Loving someone who doesn't want to be with you Have you heard from your ex, Airbag? No. She told me she would call me when she had time. It's been over 1.5 month now, so I highly doubt she's ever going to call me. Link to comment
RubyWoo Posted October 30, 2011 Author Share Posted October 30, 2011 So sorry to hear that, I know how hard it is to keep waiting and having that faint hope that they'll be back... I have a feeling he will be back but I'm not sure whether it's my intuition or what I want to think Link to comment
Airbag Posted October 30, 2011 Share Posted October 30, 2011 Well, it's definitely time to move on. I have to stop living in the past and focus on the future. I don't know if we will ever speak again, but I know that this whole experience is making me stronger. Link to comment
RubyWoo Posted October 30, 2011 Author Share Posted October 30, 2011 You are indeed being really strong, and that's great!!! I hope and wish for strength every day, this year is being like a nightmare for me... sometimes I feel I'll never be happy again. Link to comment
RubyWoo Posted October 31, 2011 Author Share Posted October 31, 2011 Feeling really really sad today, fighting the urge to text and beg... Why do I have to go through this when my dad just died, I think it's all starting to catch up and I feel so weak Link to comment
KronicMan Posted October 31, 2011 Share Posted October 31, 2011 ruby, shouldnt he be the one calling you and begging?? Link to comment
SorrowandPain Posted November 1, 2011 Share Posted November 1, 2011 stay strong and learn from the mistakes I'm about to make... Link to comment
RubyWoo Posted November 1, 2011 Author Share Posted November 1, 2011 I don't know Kronic, he dumped me so obviously he thinks he can do better. I feel like absolute crap today, it was a national holiday and I have just been in bed all day, I want to disappear. I loved this man so much and it's SO easy for him to just move on with his life... He's probably screwing someone already and I'm the one left all alone. I've always been crap with men and I don't think I'll even meet anyone else any time soon. My self esteem is so low today, he really has messed me up. Link to comment
Klokwurk Posted November 2, 2011 Share Posted November 2, 2011 Hey Ruby. You will be happy again one day... It might be a while, but you will get there. All the love you gave him, it is all inside you, every moment. Don't forget it is you who loved your dad and this guy, you loved them like none of us will ever understand. Cherish yourself, because you are still here, and you are surviving. Grace comes to us all. I am sure it will find you. Please don't be sad... My stupid ex called me 5 times today, but I ignored them. Tried to hide the number with skype at first too, so it appeared on my cell as "withheld." How freaking sneaky. Then she texted, saying she really wants to talk to me... She just wants to use me, make this whole stupid separation/divorce easier for herself... God I hate her sometimes now... I wish she would just be eliminated from my memories... I texted back saying I would let her know when she could call me, but I don't think I ever will. I don't owe her anything, and it's pointless because she lives 5 thousand miles away now! Yay!!! Eh, coming back here just made me pissed. Sorry for spreading bad vibes. Where is Mr Man and his sage advice?! Link to comment
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