Sanesoul Posted September 26, 2011 Share Posted September 26, 2011 Anusha, I have not read every post, but I have some idea what you are dealing with. Please listen to me. I have been diagnosed with many disorders, but the worst ones to deal with by far are Obsessive Compulsive Disorder and Generalized Anxiety Disorder. I think you have both. I am no doctor, but the way you write makes me want to take you by the hand and force you into see a doctor. This is so unhealthy. Take it from someone who is medicated and in therapy for the above named disorders, get some professional help right away. Link to comment
Anusha Posted September 28, 2011 Author Share Posted September 28, 2011 I feel awful today.I think Im geting depressed,I just feel like crying and staying in bed all day.Im about to get my period so Im not sure if is because of that or because of this whole situation.I bit of both probably. Link to comment
ToF Posted September 28, 2011 Share Posted September 28, 2011 I feel awful today.I think Im geting depressed,I just feel like crying and staying in bed all day.Im about to get my period so Im not sure if is because of that or because of this whole situation.I bit of both probably. I think it's probably both, Anusha. Have you gotten out of the house for any reason other than work recently? Really, you need to start seeing your friends. It is very important that you have more people in your life. Also, exercise can help with feelings of depression, so go out and take more walks or maybe join a gym. Link to comment
Anusha Posted October 9, 2011 Author Share Posted October 9, 2011 I need to let it out or I feel like I will explode.I have been meeting with my guy hided from my parents but when we meet he keeps geting away for long times often.For example he say he need to make a call and go outside(because of the noise) and end up taking 15 minutes or so there while I wait alone on the table.Today he asked my phone(he put his sim card on it) cause his mobile was without batery and stayed talking for about that time while we were out and I just stayed there waiting.Later on he went away for about 10 minutes to call again.And he had bought a present to his daughter and said he called her and that she was near where we were and so he would take that chance to give it to her already.We were on a bar having a few drinks and he said it would be fast,that he just would give it to her and he would be back in about 5 to 10 minutes and told me to just wait there.I waited on the table having my drink and he didnt come back until 45 minutes later.I even thought he wouldnt come back anymore and just paid for the drinks and left the table(I had finished my drink already and there were people waiting for the table).I went outside and called him from a pay phone(after half hour had passed) and he said he was arriving.When he got there he said the guy that brought his daughter had got lost and so end up taking longer to get to the place they had set.I was really bothered and even shouted to him on the street(what he didnt like much).But I calmed down and we talked later.I dont get why he keeps doing that,why he keeps geting away for long times like that when we are together.It just make me feel like if he doesnt like or want to be with me much.Maybe Im being too clingy but I just think that when you are out with somebody you dont keep leaving like that.I mean sure stuff happens like you get calls and so on and maybe you have to go out to answer it but usualy people try to keep it short right? They dont just stay talking for like 15 minutes while their company just sit alone on the table waiting.Dont you agree with me? Link to comment
OptomisticGirl Posted October 9, 2011 Share Posted October 9, 2011 Anusha, he's probably chatting up his other girlfriend (or wife) while he's with you. I wish you could see this... Link to comment
petite Posted October 9, 2011 Share Posted October 9, 2011 I don't believe the daughter story for one second. If he was meeting his child then who ever was bringing her to the meeting could have came to where you two were - the gift could be given outside the establishment whilst you waited. The guy sounds like a liar at best. As far as his walking outside to make 15 min calls - that's just plain rude. I would only allow for that to happen if there was some sort of emergency, otherwise I would have left. Link to comment
Anusha Posted October 9, 2011 Author Share Posted October 9, 2011 Anusha, he's probably chatting up his other girlfriend (or wife) while he's with you. I wish you could see this... I dont know with who he is talking(he usualy say is his sister,daughter,brother,friend and things like that).But I just find kind of rude that he will take such long time on the call.He knows Im waiting on the table and we are out together so I just feel like he should be spending that time with me,you know what I mean? Link to comment
Anusha Posted October 9, 2011 Author Share Posted October 9, 2011 I don't believe the daughter story for one second. If he was meeting his child then who ever was bringing her to the meeting could have came to where you two were - the gift could be given outside the establishment whilst you waited. The guy sounds like a liar at best. As far as his walking outside to make 15 min calls - that's just plain rude. I would only allow for that to happen if there was some sort of emergency, otherwise I would have left. I agree with you,I even asked him to came along when he was giving the present but he said it wasnt necessary and that was better I just stay there having my drink.And about the call,it wasnt a emergency(I could hear part of the first call) it was just checking how they are and what they are doing and so on. Link to comment
OptomisticGirl Posted October 9, 2011 Share Posted October 9, 2011 I dont know with who he is talking(he usualy say is his sister,daughter,brother,friend and things like that).But I just find kind of rude that he will take such long time on the call.He knows Im waiting on the table and we are out together so I just feel like he should be spending that time with me,you know what I mean? Of course it's rude, very rude. I think it shows you that he really DOESN'T want to spend time with you. Link to comment
Anusha Posted October 9, 2011 Author Share Posted October 9, 2011 I just dont know what to do.I care for this guy a lot but often I notice things(like this call thing for example) that makes me feel like if he doesnt like me so much. Link to comment
HeartGoesOn Posted October 9, 2011 Share Posted October 9, 2011 I dont know with who he is talking(he usualy say is his sister,daughter,brother,friend and things like that).But I just find kind of rude that he will take such long time on the call.He knows Im waiting on the table and we are out together so I just feel like he should be spending that time with me,you know what I mean? Anusha...We do know exactly what you mean, but the question is, why is this behaviour acceptable to you? What advice would you give to a friend who was being treated in this sort of fashion? Link to comment
Anusha Posted October 9, 2011 Author Share Posted October 9, 2011 Anusha...We do know exactly what you mean, but the question is, why is this behaviour acceptable to you? What advice would you give to a friend who was being treated in this sort of fashion? I know I put up with a lot that I shouldnt maybe but I just like the guy.When those things happen I usualy try to pretend Im not noticing or that is normal but deep down it does hurt me.I just wish so much that he would like me and to be with me.I tried every way to please him even so he would like me but it just doesnt seem to be working. Link to comment
petite Posted October 9, 2011 Share Posted October 9, 2011 Anusha, I love my fiance, absolutely adore him - but there is no way I would put up with that sort of treatment constantly and continuously! The guy has absolutely no respect for you at all. Sadly I think you will put up with a lot more, because you are so afraid of being alone. However, being alone is at least much better than being degraded. I'd rather be alone than be treated like crap. Link to comment
diamond78 Posted October 9, 2011 Share Posted October 9, 2011 Wait, I am totally confused. He left you at the bar while he went somewhere else for 45 minutes?? I wouldn't have been there when he came back that's for sure. Where did he go to meet this person? Did he walk, drive, etc?? And why is a guy bringing his daughter somewhere? Just to pick up a gift? How can anyone believe that story??? Some guy is going to some random spot just so your BF can drop off a present?? Not buying it....and I don't think he went to see a woman at that particular time, but something is definitely up. Something fishy obviously. But it's incredibly rude to leave someone for 15 minutes here and there and then 45?? That shows absolutely no care or concern for you as a person. Link to comment
DN Posted October 9, 2011 Share Posted October 9, 2011 Anusha, he treats you like crap and you are allowing it. Link to comment
Anusha Posted October 9, 2011 Author Share Posted October 9, 2011 Wait, I am totally confused. He left you at the bar while he went somewhere else for 45 minutes?? I wouldn't have been there when he came back that's for sure. Where did he go to meet this person? Did he walk, drive, etc?? And why is a guy bringing his daughter somewhere? Just to pick up a gift? How can anyone believe that story??? Some guy is going to some random spot just so your BF can drop off a present?? Not buying it....and I don't think he went to see a woman at that particular time, but something is definitely up. Something fishy obviously. But it's incredibly rude to leave someone for 15 minutes here and there and then 45?? That shows absolutely no care or concern for you as a person. He walked there.We were on a bar inside the mall and he set with this guy on a square about 10 minutes walk from there.He said this guy is his daughter's neighbour and he drove her there since she is only 9.He was going to meet with her on wednesday to handle the present but she cant make it since she made other plans with her mother already and so when he mentioned he was near she sugested to do it today.It crossed my mind that he went to meet another woman too but the time he spent there was too short for that.I thought this whole story was a bit weird too but I cant figure out what he might have done. Link to comment
Anusha Posted October 9, 2011 Author Share Posted October 9, 2011 Anusha, he treats you like crap and you are allowing it. But what should I do then DN? I like the guy.I have been trying to ignore those things(like he checking his watch every 5 minutes,not being much afecionate when we are out like I mentioned before) but is like is only geting worse.There were one time that he just ignored me and acted like if I wasnt there even.I went to the atm to take out some money and when I got back he just stayed talking on the phone forever like if I wasnt even there.He saw me there standing and waiting but he just continued talking like if I wasnt there. Link to comment
OptomisticGirl Posted October 9, 2011 Share Posted October 9, 2011 But what should I do then DN? I like the guy.I have been trying to ignore those things(like he checking his watch every 5 minutes,not being much afecionate when we are out like I mentioned before) but is like is only geting worse.There were one time that he just ignored me and acted like if I wasnt there even.I went to the atm to take out some money and when I got back he just stayed talking on the phone forever like if I wasnt even there.He saw me there standing and waiting but he just continued talking like if I wasnt there. you.leave.him.and.find.someone.else. Link to comment
DN Posted October 9, 2011 Share Posted October 9, 2011 But what should I do then DN? I like the guy.I have been trying to ignore those things(like he checking his watch every 5 minutes,not being much afecionate when we are out like I mentioned before) but is like is only geting worse.There were one time that he just ignored me and acted like if I wasnt there even.I went to the atm to take out some money and when I got back he just stayed talking on the phone forever like if I wasnt even there.He saw me there standing and waiting but he just continued talking like if I wasnt there.I understand that there are aspects of his personality that you like - but that isn't enough on which to build a relationship that is going to last. He would not treat you this way if he loved and respected you. Link to comment
Anusha Posted October 9, 2011 Author Share Posted October 9, 2011 I understand that there are aspects of his personality that you like - but that isn't enough on which to build a relationship that is going to last. He would not treat you this way if he loved and respected you. So you think there is no way that ever will change and the only option is pretty much to just leave him? Link to comment
DN Posted October 9, 2011 Share Posted October 9, 2011 So you think there is no way that ever will change and the only option is pretty much to just leave him?I doubt very much that he will change and I think your best option is to leave him. Link to comment
Capricorn3 Posted October 9, 2011 Share Posted October 9, 2011 So you think there is no way that ever will change and the only option is pretty much to just leave him? NO, it will never change. Your "relationship", the way it stands now, is the way it will always be. It will not progress to anything better, where you two share a home together, or get married. That will never happen. You will always be second best. Always. You will never be a priority. Ever. HE won't change, so the situation will remain the same. The BEST option, and the one that makes most sense, would be that you end it and move on. Link to comment
Anusha Posted October 10, 2011 Author Share Posted October 10, 2011 I doubt very much that he will change and I think your best option is to leave him. I know what you mean.I thought that if I pleased him enough he would end up liking me eventualy but it havent happened so far so Im kind of losing faith on that.I have said yes and done pretty much all his requests(being it money or favours like put credit on his mobile,send his resume,etc) even when I couldnt do it much so I dont know what more to do. Link to comment
chitown9 Posted October 10, 2011 Share Posted October 10, 2011 Anusha, you will never be able to do enough for this guy. He is a bottomless pit. Link to comment
Recommended Posts
Archived
This topic is now archived and is closed to further replies.