Back together but It doesn't happen overnight...success story!

[Chuck Bartowsk]

This is twice in as many days that someone has posted a reconciliation thread and had cold water poured on it. It seems a shame that people cannot share their successes on ENA without people being unsupportive and negative.

 

For my part I wish all concerned well.

 

I agree DN. I hope to one day post my reconciliation success story up and have it welcomed and accepted. This is the "Getting Back together" forum after all.

[aftershock879]

let me elaborate a little, I couldn't put it all here as it is a much longer story.

 

It took me 5 months to even date any woman even half seriously, then when it came down to moving forward to a proper relationship, I couldn't do it as it really wasn't fair on her to carry it on with no future prospects, so I really didn't jump into a new relationship neither did I get straight back with my ex, a lot of talking had to be done before anything happened, so there was no cheating of any kind.

 

So it was not really a serious relationship and there is no marriage or children involved, even if my ex didn't come back I would have had to end the relationship as it wasn't fair, would you really lead someone on for the sake of having someone?that is just not who I am, I certainly didn't use her as a healing aid, I used the time on my own to heal myself.My previous relationship was dead a buried and I took the steps to move on with my life.

 

I thank those of you who are happy for me, I am only here to try help others get through with some insight, I totally respect everyones opinion, but really how many people come back here when they have moved on, there aren't that many but a lot of people helped me and I am only trying to return the favour.

[tresqua]

Ignore the naysayers.

 

If the new relationship was better maybe you wouldn't have tempted to go back, who knows?

 

That's the way it is in the dating game. Life in general is ALWAYS about taking care of #1, the only exception maybe being your own children. Everyone else is expendable, and it's never about what you "should" do as if you are obligated to take care of everyone elses needs and problems and never do anything to hurt someone else because it's amoral or some crap like that.

 

The only thing I wonder is if the reconcilition is "real" and if you ever really dealt with the problems because if not, they're going to come back.

[MakeItCount]

Best of luck, and don't mind the naysayers. sometimes people will just make judgements quickly and without getting all the facts. I know of several people here who have reconciled but don't post their stories because they don't feel like dealing with some of the negativity.

[aftershock879]

trust me we talked so much and all the issues, they weren't really major issues at all just a lot of small things that were blown out of proportion, the problem before is that we didn't talk enough about our feelings due to the fact we were both really hurt before.

 

Now it is all out in the open the relationship is better than it ever was, we talk for hours and we are both happy.

[CMS]

trust me we talked so much and all the issues, they weren't really major issues at all just a lot of small things that were blown out of proportion, the problem before is that we didn't talk enough about our feelings due to the fact we were both really hurt before.

 

Now it is all out in the open the relationship is better than it ever was, we talk for hours and we are both happy.

 

Atta boy, happy for you man. Ignore the bitter old souls, their negativity just cramps my style, glad you found your true happiness again. Keep it real man

[endy]

I think the most important part is you moved on. Not sure how much healing/changing happened but at least you were happy with yourself when you got back together. Good Luck!

[BONO]

Well said.

 

This is twice in as many days that someone has posted a reconciliation thread and had cold water poured on it. It seems a shame that people cannot share their successes on ENA without people being unsupportive and negative.

 

For my part I wish all concerned well.

[aftershock879]

Thanks all, it will take a lot more than a few negative comments to bring me down, I found the most important thing was that in some aspects I did move on and was strong enough to talk about everything openly and not be afraid that if I said something it would upset the balance, for me I had nothing left to lose so I could be brutally honest about how the break up happened, mine and her actions after.

 

As I accepted the break up months and months ago I knew I could, if I had to walk away from her knowing that I did everything I could and was mature about all the decisions that had to be made.

[freelove]

Aftershock, what advice can you give me for working with my ex? We broke up and I want her back but just trying to play it cool. So, so hard when we work together. Any advice?

[Destiny2112]

People here in ENA always give the advice to act as if the relationship with our ex's are over for good, move on with our lives, let go of the past, dating others instead of sitting around and waiting for our ex's to return, which -in many cases- will never happen.

And when people do so, move on with their lives and take some time apart from each other, like the OP did, they get critizised for doing so?! I don't really understand it. Indeed, this is the "getting back together" forum and it's exactly for stories like this. What should the OP have done? Sitting at home, locked up in his room, crying and praying for his ex to return?

 

Anyways, I'm happy for you! Thanks for sharing your story, I wish you two all the best!!

[aulelia]

Reconciliation stories are always great, and I searched for many of them here. I think what I and some other posters such as Eocsor were pointing

at was someone else being hurt in the process. Look at it as that person could post here on ENA about how they were someone's rebound and got hurt.

 

Reconciliations are always good news but it's important to treat others how you would want to be treated.

[Wildcars]

Guys, it's life, he dealt with it, so should his new gf deal with it..

 

He has the choice to choose who he wants to be with, so did his ex, which he respected!

[Ms Darcy]

Guys, it's life, he dealt with it, so should his new gf deal with it..

 

He has the choice to choose who he wants to be with, so did his ex, which he respected!

 

I think I'll quote this when people leave one partner and get into a relationship with another. People around here seem so upset when their exes get into new relationships quickly, but as you say it's life and the ex should just deal with it.

[Edmund Exley]

I think I'll quote this when people leave one partner and get into a relationship with another. People around here seem so upset when their exes get into new relationships quickly, but as you say it's life and the ex should just deal with it.

 

Unfortunately, what Wild Cars says is true. We are all prone to relationships not working out and the other person moving on, and we all have to find a way to deal with it and move on too.

[Wildcars]

I think I'll quote this when people leave one partner and get into a relationship with another. People around here seem so upset when their exes get into new relationships quickly, but as you say it's life and the ex should just deal with it.

 

Trust me when i say this.. I learnt this the hard way! But rather late then never!

 

Sometimes you got to be a little bit open, if your ex dumps you for another person, respect that. You are an individual of your own, no one makes you whole, only yourself. You might feel that someone else (your partner) makes you whole, but in most cases, relationships are never finite (but some are, like my parents and grandparents)..

 

But good for you getting back with your ex, hopefully this is the right choice you made, and i wish you all the best with your future!