6 months post BU, what i've achieved :)

[MissSMcc]

this sunday will be 6 months since my ex left. i can't believe it has been so long. since the break up i have done loads of things i don't think i could've done if he was still here. i have done some training courses at college, got myself a fantastic job, started driving lessons, booked a holiday to greece for me and my daughter, learned to listen to myself and how i'm feeling, and never compromise out of fear of being alone. i have no plans to get into a new relationship any time soon, i am enjoying the freedom of being single and busy.

when he left i couldn't see a way forward, i could imagine these things i wanted but never thought i would actually achieve them. i could barely walk down the street alone without feeling actually 'alone', like everyone could see it on me. everything is so much better now. i still think about him, probably still every day, and it still feels sad when i hear a joke i think he would like, or see a movie we planned to watch together etc, but i hope in time that too will pass.

just thought i'd share, for all those just starting their healing journey, it does get better.

[CatsMeeoow]

Kudos!!!!!

 

Be super proud of yourself but also see what a shining example you are setting for your daughter!!!!

[Unwanted]

That's amazing and fantastic to hear! That has given me a little bit of hope.

 

How did you begin your healing process? I am struggling with mine.

 

I hate being alone with my own thoughts.

 

And all I want to do is sleep. And hope I never wake up.

[MissSMcc]

That's amazing and fantastic to hear! That has given me a little bit of hope.

 

How did you begin your healing process? I am struggling with mine.

 

I hate being alone with my own thoughts.

 

And all I want to do is sleep. And hope I never wake up.

 

well i suppose i started on ENA any thoughts i felt i needed to get out, i posted here instead of telling my ex. i did all the blocking/ deleting etc. i thought about what i wanted to do and change in my life. career was the biggest one for me, yours might be different, just think of what you want to do and try your hardest to achieve it. it doesnt even have to be something big, it could be something like a particular book you havent gotten round to reading, plan a roadtrip, see a band, just anything that will occupy your mind. it wont stop you thinking of your ex, but will give you something else to focus on.

as for the sleeping, i had that too. i could've slept for days, but that passed again with time (yep, time, that again). good luck.

[Unwanted]

Oh yes a book! I will buy a book this weekend! Thanks for the tips!

[lovesforlife]

You are an inspiration. I just broke NC with my ex this week - almost needed to commit myself because of the wounds it opened up. Did you maintain complete NC for the entire 6 months? I have a daughter too and my depression is starting to impact her.

[deavyin]

Good to hear you are doing well. It's 2 months out for me and it's still pretty painful. It's no where near where it was when we first broke up. I can't wait for another 4 months to pass so I can see where I am at that point. I hope to get where you are. I know that time is the only thing that works but man does it move slow.

[Glowguy]

Congrats on your success MissSMcc! It's always nice to hear some good news on here. I'm at about 6 months out of my BU and I'm in a similar place in my healing. I'm mailing the rest of her stuff this week and finally letting go. I do think about her every day still, but I realize that we are better off without each other. I just booked a trip to Europe too, and have been really doing well at my job. I was actually kind of shocked at how well my annual review went.

 

I do feel a lot of pressure to date and meet new women. I've been on a few dates, but I'm still not in a place where I want to get into a committed relationship yet. Hopefully in the next year, these things will fall into place.

[ChellyV]

thanks for sharing! it gives us a bit of optimism that yes, life will get better!

[MissSMcc]

we have been NC the entire time, apart from the standard 'please don't leave me blah blah' stuff i spewed out the first day (i think we are all entitled to at least one of those) plus limited contact in the beginning to discuss dividing up furniture and joint bank accounts etc. purely practical stuff. the thing i'm realising is, i'm starting to feel not only better than i did at the start of the break up, but also better than i felt in the relationship too.

[lovesforlife]

I want to be at that place. We've been broken up a year and although he started out by wanting to talk, wanting to even go on trips together, despite him having a girlfriend, he now wants nothing to do with me because every contact we've had since the first few where I was pushing him away, I was begging, pleading, pathetic. Now he is pushing me away. It hurts, but maybe in 6 months I will have a Chirstmas present of feeling the way you do.

[Bungle UK]

Thats awesome!

 

I did the same. I did the usual when I broke up with my ex in Jan, begged, pleaded her to get back with me, the usual!!, 2 wks after the break up, she went away for Valentines wkend with a new fling. I was utterley devastated and on Valentines day I cried all night in my mums arms!! (I'm 25 by the way... Ha

 

The next day I woke up, totally and utterley deflated, ripped out all the dates before the 14th Feb in my diary and said to myself I am concentrating 100% on me and making my life incredible and achieve things I have always dreamed of.

 

A few days later my mate told me he would like me to be best man for his wedding. I accepted.

A few more days later I started my driving lessons

A couple of wks later I decided I began thinking of doing something for charity.

I threw myself in to work.

I started freelancing as a designer.

 

4 months later.

 

I am doing 4 extreme challenges over a 4 month period with the view of raising 3000 pound for the MNDA.

I gained a 100% pass rate just this week on my driving theory test

I have come up with an unreal best man speech! and great preparations for the stag do!

Gained new clients and had top appraisal from my job.

I have applied for a lecturing job in Singapore.

I have bought an SLR digital camera and got into photography.

 

And I feel... on top of the world. I really do. Its a Friday night, in by myself and I'm smiling, happy and comfortable in my own company! This isn't a bragging show or a way of rubbing it in to anyone.

 

I didn't go out on the rebound (she did, it backfired!) I didn't go out sleeping with other girls, get drunk etc...

 

I concentrated a million percent on me and who I was as a person, reflected on this and bettered myself constantly on a daily basis, and it worked. She crushed me. Cold comfort - She won the battle, but I knew I'd win the war!!!!

 

 

Your all great people, make yourself greater. Love yourself before you love anyone else!

 

Good luck, it gets easier when you let it. Cx