butterfly6585 Posted March 22, 2011 Share Posted March 22, 2011 Did any of you take a complete break from dating after the breakup with your last ex? If so, how long of a break did you take from dating & how long had you & your ex been dating for prior to the breakup? Link to comment
22n32 Posted March 22, 2011 Share Posted March 22, 2011 me and the ex bu about 3 months ago.. and in the last month, ive gone on about 10dates.. and they all have been, ahhh whatever kinda attidute towards it.. i still feel like im not ready.. i thought i was, but i think think i am.. im def taking few more months to myself.. before dating again.. Link to comment
Teaday Posted March 22, 2011 Share Posted March 22, 2011 Two days. I think it sometimes depends on how "over" the relationship is before it was officially ended. That was the biggest factor for me atleast. After a 2.5 year relationship, I started casually dating almost immediately. That said, I was by no means ready to even consider settling into another relationship until a few months later. Link to comment
nutbrownhare Posted March 22, 2011 Share Posted March 22, 2011 I need to give it at least a year - looking back, none of the relationships I've started sooner than that have worked out, and I know that I still feel jittery and still have unfinished business from the previous one. I broke up from an eight year relationship in 2006, and I think I wasn't really ready to commit myself wholeheartedly to someone else for about four years after that; yes, I dated, but I was aware that there was a huge part of me which was holding back. I think it also makes a big difference as to whether it was you or your ex-partner who ended the relationship, whether you managed to get closure or there were still huge issues left hanging, and whether you could actually go NC in a way which meant you never had to see or hear about the ex. Link to comment
cdalton17 Posted March 22, 2011 Share Posted March 22, 2011 Two days. I think it sometimes depends on how "over" the relationship is before it was officially ended. That was the biggest factor for me atleast. After a 2.5 year relationship, I started casually dating almost immediately. That said, I was by no means ready to even consider settling into another relationship until a few months later. WOW...That is almost sad in away.. NO? Maybe I am just emotionaly unstable right now. But a few days afterwards.. humm. WOW, Sorry just cant believe what I read. Here I am thinking that both of us would be atleast a year from now. If we didnt get back. But everyone is different I guess. i dont feel like I would be ready to a long time. It been 5 almost 6 weeks. Link to comment
Robin2904 Posted March 22, 2011 Share Posted March 22, 2011 WOW...That is almost sad in away.. NO? Maybe I am just emotionaly unstable right now. But a few days afterwards.. humm. WOW, Sorry just cant believe what I read. Here I am thinking that both of us would be atleast a year from now. If we didnt get back. But everyone is different I guess. i dont feel like I would be ready to a long time. It been 5 almost 6 weeks. I feel like a few days is WAY too soon! There is NO way I could do that! But my ex? I know for a fact he went on a date a few days after we ended things. Really hurts, but everyone is different. When we broke up the first time back in the Summer, literally one week later he was hooking up with another girl while I was in bed crying myself to sleep. I think different people handle break ups differently. Some go out and date right away and it helps them move on faster, others grieve for a long time. I'm a griever I guess.....really hurts that my ex is the opposite. Link to comment
SA2000 Posted March 22, 2011 Share Posted March 22, 2011 I waited 6 months. I am still not ready after a 5 year relationship. I think it will probably be a few more months. I find myself only going to hang out with this other girl to fill the void. But until you are happy alone you wont be happy with anyone else. Link to comment
Love1336 Posted March 22, 2011 Share Posted March 22, 2011 I took ZERO break, which was a mistake because if the date didn't go well gosh made me miss my ex even more. I stop dating now. I see this one person every now and then but before i was a series dater! xD Every week new guy, but i have calm down. In fact i don't wanna deal with anyone for long time. Even after i healed I'm just going to enjoy being single. Link to comment
Love1336 Posted March 22, 2011 Share Posted March 22, 2011 I waited 6 months. I am still not ready after a 5 year relationship. I think it will probably be a few more months. I find myself only going to hang out with this other girl to fill the void. But until you are happy alone you wont be happy with anyone else. Dx GOSH. I wish my ex was like you! NOOOOOOOOOOOOO. Quicklyyyy he jumped from one girl to another. Link to comment
Love1336 Posted March 22, 2011 Share Posted March 22, 2011 I feel like a few days is WAY too soon! There is NO way I could do that! But my ex? I know for a fact he went on a date a few days after we ended things. Really hurts, but everyone is different. When we broke up the first time back in the Summer, literally one week later he was hooking up with another girl while I was in bed crying myself to sleep. I think different people handle break ups differently. Some go out and date right away and it helps them move on faster, others grieve for a long time. I'm a griever I guess.....really hurts that my ex is the opposite. Pshhh, tell me about it girl. I know your pain. But if makes you feel better he's just trying to replace you, but nobody can replace YOUR love, or YOUR bond you had with him. They can try, and it may seem similar but it's NOT. Link to comment
Robin2904 Posted March 22, 2011 Share Posted March 22, 2011 Pshhh, tell me about it girl. I know your pain. But if makes you feel better he's just trying to replace you, but nobody can replace YOUR love, or YOUR bond you had with him. They can try, and it may seem similar but it's NOT. Thank you! That really did make me feel better!! Link to comment
twitchyfingers Posted March 22, 2011 Share Posted March 22, 2011 I tried dipping my toe in the online dating pool about 6 weeks post break-up, but realized I was still just comparing the new guys to the old one -- unfairly. The distraction was sort of helpful, and sort of fluffed my squashed ego up a bit, but I ended up removing my profile and focusing on healing more. My goal is to get back in the game in mid-April. In the meantime, gotta find a job and get a haircut. Link to comment
Robin2904 Posted March 22, 2011 Share Posted March 22, 2011 Oh and to answer the OP's question....I went on my first date February- which was a few months after we officially broke up- about 3 weeks after the last time I saw him. I had many offers from guys wanting to go out, flirted a lot but so far I was only able to go on that one date. I had a few set backs after that- including texting with my ex a few times, and realized I just needed to take it slow, concentrate on myself first and take a while off from dating. When the ex and I broke up the first time (Which was in June of last year) while I didn't necessarily go on any dates (Because we wound up unofficially seeing each other again) I did get out there, reactivated dating profiles, and just started to talk to guys again- about 2-3 weeks after the break up. Though I realize I did it mostly out of spite at the time though because he hooked up with someone a week after our break up.....which wasn't a good thing either. So for now I am just focusing on me and seeing what happens. I think I just want to be single for a while, go out, have fun and be 22 years old. I do hope I can find something special one day with someone else, but not now. Link to comment
Live-N-Learn Posted March 22, 2011 Share Posted March 22, 2011 I have tried dating a few times but nothing good came out of it. I am def not ready. I plan to take a year off and get my life back together. When I say a year off, I mean a year off since going NC again. We staying in contact for a year after the breakup still sleeping to together for most of that time. She has been through 9 other guys since me. lol she is one lost soul. Link to comment
jonesyjakk Posted March 22, 2011 Share Posted March 22, 2011 almost 9 years in relationship.....4 months out, started seeing girl from work after 3 months....slept with her 3 times, first time thought i cant be bothered here, 2nd time the same, 3rd time even worse, i didn't finish all 3 times and the last time i just stopped rolled over and laid there thinking of my ex.....luckily the girl from work is awesome, knows my head is fkd and just cuddled into me.....on another planet me and this girl would be awesome together....im so pi22ed that my ex fkd my head and now i cant even get close to someone i really enjoy being with...fricking sucks.....im taking 2011 to just chill and see what happens now.....gonna take a while before i can trust a woman let alone enjoy sex with her......and she is shacked up with a new guy all loved up and playing happy families with my kid......i love the way the world works!!!!! Jonesy Link to comment
Live-N-Learn Posted March 22, 2011 Share Posted March 22, 2011 Forgot to mention...after being broke up for 3 months I did date a girl for 2 months. Probobly slept with her 45 times in that short period of time. She was cool and knew my situation but I had to end it. I would finish having sex with her and all I would think about while holding her was "you are not my ex" I woiuld compare and just want her out of my house. It was a horrible thing to do to her even though she knew I was struggling. I am glad I let her go and she is now happy with someone else. We don't talk much but we are still friends. At least I was honest with her. I thought I could do it but I learned I could not. I will never put a girl in that position again. I will wait til I am ready. I think it will take around a year. Link to comment
eagleone Posted March 22, 2011 Share Posted March 22, 2011 It has been 5 months from my three year relationship and don't even think about it. To busy trying to fix myself from the present one. Maybe by the end of the summer if I am lucky. I feel let her find me, otherwise I am finished looking. Link to comment
cdalton17 Posted March 22, 2011 Share Posted March 22, 2011 Most of the guys are like, " i couldnt do it, I will wait a year" I have the same feeling, Yes I am a male, I am 39 days today, And I tell you what, If the hottest girl and the best attitude wanted to date me, Nope would not go for it. I do not care how nice of a girl she was, or intelligent or what have ya, I couldnt even think about it. I am sure after reading this blog that most men are with me. Now the girls on the other hand are like 2 days, three months..lol.. Why is this? Link to comment
jonesyjakk Posted March 22, 2011 Share Posted March 22, 2011 Most of the guys are like, " i couldnt do it, I will wait a year" I have the same feeling, Yes I am a male, I am 39 days today, And I tell you what, If the hottest girl and the best attitude wanted to date me, Nope would not go for it. I do not care how nice of a girl she was, or intelligent or what have ya, I couldnt even think about it. I am sure after reading this blog that most men are with me. i am totally with you, i unfortunately led on a very nice girl in work because i did not realise i was in this state......i am going NC on my ex and NO DATING for me until at least the end of the year, it is NOT fair on any girl i meet. Link to comment
sweetcupcakes Posted March 23, 2011 Share Posted March 23, 2011 I am a girl, and I am nowhere near seeing a light at the end of the tunnel. Dated almost 3 years, breakup took over a year, and we've now been NC for 5 months. Something about the intense build up of emotions, coupled with losing this guy after really being extremely close and connected for so long, makes me feel I will never be myself again. Sigh. I have slept with one guy since my ex and it was such a terrible experience, I've no intention of trying that again any time soon. I was just *trying* to put myself out there, but halfway through I just started having visions of my ex and started to feel nauseated by what I was doing, and so fricken sad. Needless to say I made sure things ended quickly, but luckily he didn't catch on to my distress. I hid it well. I feel like this is going to be a long, long road. Link to comment
lia86 Posted March 23, 2011 Share Posted March 23, 2011 they all have been, ahhh whatever kinda attidute towards it.. i still feel like im not ready.. i thought i was, but i think think i am.. im def taking few more months to myself.. before dating again.. This is exactly what happened to me. I waited five months, then felt like it was time to start dating again. After about six dates and feeling completely indifferent if not more annoyed, I am thinking about taking down my profile and giving it a few more months. I am SO grateful for ENA! I don't know what I would do without you guys... it always helps so much to know that I am not alone... Link to comment
Buddha5254 Posted March 23, 2011 Share Posted March 23, 2011 I've been on both sides of this...once after breaking up I hooked up within a couple of weeks. It felt great actually. Within two months of breaking up with the same girl I started seeing my lastest ex, and fell totally in love...and boy the breakup from this one *hurt*. We've been on and off for a year now and currently and permanently off. Its hard to be secure and comfortable in a relationship once you are on and off so much. I cant imagine going on a date let alone sleep with someone right now. I think in summer I'll be alright. I need to get my life back together and be happy enough on my own. Another relationship can wait. Link to comment
Starrgrl Posted March 23, 2011 Share Posted March 23, 2011 I waited 4 months. Then after going on a date, realised I wasn't ready. It's been 9 months, now I feel alot better, but I'm not completely over everything. Link to comment
jonesyjakk Posted March 24, 2011 Share Posted March 24, 2011 hey sweetcupcakes.................the road is sooooooooooooooo long....BUT the sooner you start walking it it quickly gets shorter! Jonesy Link to comment
blemished Posted March 24, 2011 Share Posted March 24, 2011 5 months out of a 3.5 yr abusive relationship. Nowhere near ready for a relationship. Not even near anything. Dating but only for fun. Had 1 good rebound already, which was fun. Can't imagine being with anyone right now for real. Still have loads of anger and questions which will not be answered. Link to comment
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