jmantra Posted March 19, 2011 Share Posted March 19, 2011 I know this may seem childish, but some people over the past couple years have implied that I am ugly. I was wondering if some of the ladies would be willing to look at a couple pics of me and give me an honest assessment. I am not fishing for compliments, and would like complete honesty whether you like I look or not. I want to know so I know how to proceed from here on in when it comes to dating. Thank you. image removed image removed image removed Link to comment
HESJUSTSTUPID Posted March 19, 2011 Share Posted March 19, 2011 I don't think you're ugly! nothing more attractive than a confident man so get some confidence! Link to comment
catcountry Posted March 19, 2011 Share Posted March 19, 2011 I agree with hesjuststupid. I don't think you are ugly...looks to me like you have very nice eyes. A little confidence DOES go a long way. Chin up, and keep smiling. =) Link to comment
jmantra Posted March 19, 2011 Author Share Posted March 19, 2011 It's kind of hard to believe what is being said here when certain things that I have happened suggest otherwise. Like a couple weeks ago I was walking down a busy city street and some girl in the passenger seat of a car jeeringly yelled "nice face!", she looked right at me, or today on the bus when these girls were teasing each other about sitting next to me, "Don't you want to sit next to your man?" :sad: There other examples as well. Link to comment
MagzO Posted March 19, 2011 Share Posted March 19, 2011 People is stupid. Don't let them tell you who you are. If you walk confidently and with your face high, no one will call you anything. And they shouldn't. You're not ugly at all. Link to comment
catcountry Posted March 19, 2011 Share Posted March 19, 2011 "It's kind of hard to believe what is being said here when certain things that I have happened suggest otherwise. Like a couple weeks ago I was walking down a busy city street and some girl in the passenger seat of a car jeeringly yelled "nice face!", she looked right at me, or today on the bus when these girls were teasing each other about sitting next to me, "Don't you want to sit next to your man?"" You call these females girls. Sounds to my like they are young and immature. I just don't see ugly when I look at your pictures. Link to comment
HESJUSTSTUPID Posted March 19, 2011 Share Posted March 19, 2011 oh plz stop it! its all about your attitude and what you put out there! Believe me people tease me because I'm overweight and I'm not the prettiest compared to all of my friends they are gorgeous! but I love who I am and what I offer the world! Tell yourself everyday how handsome you are and eventually you will believe it! Link to comment
DanDee Posted March 19, 2011 Share Posted March 19, 2011 Not at all! Lovely smile and eyes. You have a kind face. Link to comment
jmantra Posted March 19, 2011 Author Share Posted March 19, 2011 I dunno, deep down I don't think I am ugly, but I think the reason I am getting teased (even as an adult) is because I am mildly autistic, and when I am spacing out I guess I have a weird facial expression which makes me susceptible to teasing. I wish I could stop eat, but I am not even aware I am doing it half the time Link to comment
90_hour_sleep Posted March 19, 2011 Share Posted March 19, 2011 I dunno, deep down I don't think I am ugly, but I think the reason I am getting teased (even as an adult) is because I am mildly autistic, and when I am spacing out I guess I have a weird facial expression which makes me susceptible to teasing. I wish I could stop eat, but I am not even aware I am doing it half the time focus on that. in fact...reword it without the use of negatives. a change in perception. and...when you believe it...when you know it, there won't be a thing that anyone can say that will lead you astray from your own knowledge. Link to comment
Ariel85 Posted March 19, 2011 Share Posted March 19, 2011 Who intimated this? Whomever they are, put them out of your life! You're adorable. Link to comment
mybunnyslipperz Posted March 19, 2011 Share Posted March 19, 2011 Are those dimples I see? There's just something about a guy with dimples... (((swoon))) You, sir, are definitely NOT ugly! I've seen ugly... and you're nowhere near being ugly. Actually, you're quite cute and very friendly looking. Link to comment
dramallama Posted March 19, 2011 Share Posted March 19, 2011 No you're not ugly. You're cute in a different way, and alot of women, including me, appreciate guys that are handsome but not in a traditional Brad Pitt way. But what you should really look at is why you feel like you need validation... Link to comment
jmantra Posted March 19, 2011 Author Share Posted March 19, 2011 No you're not ugly. You're cute in a different way, and alot of women, including me, appreciate guys that are handsome but not in a traditional Brad Pitt way. But what you should really look at is why you feel like you need validation... Normally I am confident in my looks even if not all females I encounter find me attractive, but a cluster of incidents like I described shook my sense of security. Again as I said in a previous post I think it has more to do with my mannerisms (autism) rather than my looks per se BTW, thank you all for the compliments even though I wasn't fishing Link to comment
Celadon Posted March 19, 2011 Share Posted March 19, 2011 Yeah, cute dimples, sweet smile. You have nothing to worry about. Link to comment
Nerdyjock Posted March 19, 2011 Share Posted March 19, 2011 First, I don't think you're ugly. Second, I agree so much about what others have said about confidence. Also, to me physical appearance only matters if it reflects their self-respect. If they are overweight but engage in physical exercise, I don't notice their weight. On the contrary, if they are attractive but barely take care of themselves (hygiene, exercise) I am very turned off by their lack of pride in their body. Third, when you say people "imply" that you are ugly... what do you mean? Are they literally telling you that you are ugly? Or are they doing something that you assume implies that your ugly? For example, I heard someone once say that they felt like they were ugly because people wouldn't look them in the eye. However, it was because this person tended to have very piercing grey-blue eyes (which were actually beautiful). Anyway, what they perceived as them being ugly was really a totally different explanation. It's all in the eye of the beholder! All of us had to tell this girl why we tended to avoid her eyes - that way she understood the reason. Link to comment
Circe Posted March 19, 2011 Share Posted March 19, 2011 Wow - you are definitely not ugly!! I'd say you were cute too. I'd put those comments down to you being the victim of random dumbness on those peoples' parts. Link to comment
Wager Posted March 20, 2011 Share Posted March 20, 2011 Hello, Jmantra! To answer your question, no, you are definitely, decidedly not ugly (a relief, actually, for I was a bit nervous about clicking the post, as I will tell the truth and had you been ugly, I would have answered honestly, which would not have been fun. Instead, I get to tell you what a cutie you are, a far better feeling!). That seems to be the unanimous consensus here, and I hope it helps you to see it for yourself. For what it is worth, the examples you give sound like unpleasant, unhappy people trying to lash out at others because of whatever is going wrong within themselves. I would not heed the idea that they're onto anything, for calling someone 'ugly' is a cheap and easy insult to toss out, and when one has a great deal of inner rage and too few brain cells to rub together, it would make sense that they gravitate to the same, though inaccurate lowest common denominator. Try to keep in mind that such behavior speaks only - ONLY of the person who is showing such classless, brainless, boorish impulse as to try to wound a stranger by speaking unkindly of looks - it's the verbal equivalent of flatulence, really. If you cannot force yourself to ignore it entirely (my first suggestion), I would do no more than to spare the speaker an "excuse YOU" glance and move on. You are an attractive man and I am sure you have far more going for you than merely looks. Do not let anyone rob you of a shred of happiness by making you doubt what you have to offer or where your place is in the world. You decide those things, and you alone. I wish you the best of luck, Handsome! Wager Link to comment
Capricorn3 Posted March 20, 2011 Share Posted March 20, 2011 actually, for I was a bit nervous about clicking the post, as I will tell the truth and had you been ugly, I would have answered honestly, which would not have been fun ^^ This really fascinates me, lol. If I had thought he was ugly, I simply would NOT reply at all. I would have kept those thoughts to myself and not said anything. Am I the only one who does this? My mother always used to tell us, if you have nothing nice to say, say nothing, lol. I wonder how many people would truthfully tell someone on a message board "YES, I think you are really ugly"? I have yet to see that happen here on ENA, as we have had a number of these kinds of threads where members post pictures and ask if they are ugly. I'm all for honesty, but I could never tell someone, "yes, you are ugly". ACK! lol. OP: For the record, no, you are not ugly. Link to comment
Sparkly Eyes Posted March 20, 2011 Share Posted March 20, 2011 Like others said, no you are not ugly. But you have room to improve your appearance and I think losing weight could help you in that regard. Link to comment
Wager Posted March 20, 2011 Share Posted March 20, 2011 ^^ This really fascinates me, lol. If I had thought he was ugly, I simply would NOT reply at all. I would have kept those thoughts to myself and not said anything. Am I the only one who does this? My mother always used to tell us, if you have nothing nice to say, say nothing, lol. I wonder how many people would truthfully tell someone on a message board "YES, I think you are really ugly"? I have yet to see that happen here on ENA, as we have had a number of these kinds of threads where members post pictures and ask if they are ugly. I'm all for honesty, but I could never tell someone, "yes, you are ugly". ACK! lol. OP: For the record, no, you are not ugly. Hello, Capricorn! To address your question - I would not go about a forum or a crowded room, touching people on the shoulder and pronouncing them pretty or not. But if someone braves a question like this for a reason that makes sense to me (and not, say, simply fishing for compliments, or otherwise wasting other's time and energy with manufactured drama), I think that person deserves an answer and I think it must be a truthful one. Look at it this way, as well - if the poser of this question WAS ugly or otherwise unattractive, and everyone declined to respond to the question, would the silence, then, not be a resounding answer in and of itself? Would it be kinder to let the poster twist in the wind, wondering why the post was ignored? What it might mean? To debate if they were, in fact, ugly, or just so unimportant that they were not worth replying to? Honesty is the best policy, for me, but that does not mean I am unkind or that I feel my opinion should be heard when not requested. Still, once it is, I take the asker at face value, that they want the truth, can handle the truth and that to offer them anything else, sometimes especially silence, is the crueler option. Wager Link to comment
Capricorn3 Posted March 20, 2011 Share Posted March 20, 2011 Look at it this way, as well - if the poser of this question WAS ugly or otherwise unattractive, and everyone declined to respond to the question, would the silence, then, not be a resounding answer in and of itself? Would it be kinder to let the poster twist in the wind, wondering why the post was ignored? What it might mean? To debate if they were, in fact, ugly, or just so unimportant that they were not worth replying to? Oh, I definitely get what you're saying and I agree. That said, I also believe a lot of people would still reply and say "no, you are not ugly", even if they actually believe the opposite. With things like this, many people will not tell the truth (imo). Just speaking for myself, I feel I couldn't directly tell someone "yes, you really are ugly", so I choose not to reply at all. I tend to go back to the old ways of "if you have nothing nice to say, say nothing". I know many people will disagree with me. However, it would be entirely different if someone posted a picture and asked for advice on ways to improve their looks, like cutting their hair, different clothes, etc etc. I could respond to that, but I can't be that forward and say "yes, you are really ugly". Guess I'm a wuss that way, lol. Link to comment
Wager Posted March 20, 2011 Share Posted March 20, 2011 I do not think you are a wuss. Clearly, your mother raised you well. The world could do with a few nicer people. They are far more in the shortage than outspoken truth-tellers, I should think. Best, Wager Link to comment
FrogIsFree Posted March 20, 2011 Share Posted March 20, 2011 "It's kind of hard to believe what is being said here when certain things that I have happened suggest otherwise. Like a couple weeks ago I was walking down a busy city street and some girl in the passenger seat of a car jeeringly yelled "nice face!", she looked right at me, or today on the bus when these girls were teasing each other about sitting next to me, "Don't you want to sit next to your man?"" You call these females girls. Sounds to my like they are young and immature. I just don't see ugly when I look at your pictures. I totally agree & some people who are insecure, immature and have a distorted set of ideas about how to approach life and interact with people, namely not being unkind, not being insensitive and not being thoughtful, should be ignored..! They have nothing better to do with their time other than to try to pull down other people's confidence.. in this case, yours! They need to grow up.. Whilst I loathe the word ugly because looks are so subjective.., I know you want a straight answer so here it is! - There's nothing ugly about you.. nothing. ..you also look like a sweet guy. That's worth it's weight in gold, no matter what the superficial girls out there do to convince you you have to look like X, Y or Z to be considered a looker!! ..no wonder so many guys don't approach girls for fear of not being `good looking enough' if you think you are ugly! Just do me favour mate? Pick a girl who's not superficial and who is as sweet as you, please!.. Link to comment
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