Hello enotaloners, I'm wondering if anyone can help?
For about 1.5 weeks now I've been split up from my ex boyfriend, amicably mind but it was more due to me and my doubts. We were only together for 3 months but it was very intense, we connected on a level I've never experienced before with a guy - not even in a previous long term relationship. The reason for this was solely due to the fact he had two children, aged 9 and 3 (by two different mothers, the first was when he was married and the second was from a relationship after his divorce 5 years ago). The 9 year old he sees every weekend and the youngest child lives about 5 hours away. I'm 33 with no children.
I guess something deep down felt uneasy in me - a lot of 'what-ifs?'. What if the children don't like me, what if the mothers are crazy, what if I end up feeling like an outsider or become resentful that I wasn't his #1 like he would be mine, what if if we had children together he'd love them less or be less invested etc etc. All these negative, doubtful thoughts racing around. Everything you find on the internet about childless women in relationships with single fathers seems to be so discouraging, even asking friends or family for advice is met with little support.
However, I feel as if I've made a wrong decision by walking away and can't stop thinking about him. Does anyone have any advice or have they been in a similar situation? Thank you!